Page 1 of 1

Segment that I might or might not expand on

Posted: 2003-07-17 03:38am
by Shinova
Basically a piece of free-writing. Might or might not expand into a full story.


===================================




Much of life and its truths—along with all the lies—can be seen in a single moment.

You can say that again.

The hand holding the gun to the little girl's head would not stop shaking. No amount of will or courage could even attempt to hold it.

So how long are you gonna stay there, a gun to some girl's forehead, your hand shaking like a vibrator gone mad inside a lust-crazed woman, your self frozen at a crossroad?

Somehow I doubt there are people behind me, waiting for their chance to decide as I must now.

Ah...a very perceptive observation.

Thanks. Don't get that a lot, by the way.

The observation or the thanks?

Both.

When you eclipse one, you tend to eclipse all...

Where the hell did that come fro


Suddenly the gun fired, the projectile digging its way through the girl's skull and exiting out the other side.

Wait...did I do that? I didn't do that!

Don't tell me...you can't accept what you've just done.

Well...

That is such an oldie. Don't even bother. Just take it in and ride it out.


Take it in and ride it out, so the voice said. The hand lowered the smoking gun. Eyes peered down at the figure sprawled on the floor, red seeping into the dirt underneath. The girl's face was strangely peaceful.

Are they always like that?

You mean all peaceful-like? Not all the time. It's either relief to be finally free from the misery of existence, or the agony of knowing that it has all ended.


I'd better get going...

The feet moved. And the man walked away from the body, deeper into the forest. In time, nature would reclaim the dead girl into its own, erased from the face of civilization.


=========================================

Any kind of critique would be appreciated.

Posted: 2003-07-17 03:49am
by Mitth`raw`nuruodo
I love it. Werid mental stuff, is that something between two sides of his brain, or him and another person, or what?

Posted: 2003-07-17 04:09am
by Shinova
Mitth-raw-nuruodo wrote:I love it. Werid mental stuff, is that something between two sides of his brain, or him and another person, or what?
That would be to spoil the story :mrgreen:


Right now I'm seeing if I can expand on that.

Re: Segment that I might or might not expand on

Posted: 2003-07-17 11:31am
by Singular Quartet
Alright... here we go....

This sounds like an intresting characterization (and rather realistic, with the character at first believing that he couldn't have done it) of a man (now soon to be wanted) and another person, more knowlegdable than himsell, and perhaps imaginary.

A 'Hobbes' so to speak....