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The Federation Central News Agency Rides Again!

Posted: 2003-08-07 10:42am
by Iceberg
Papers on Might of UFP Power
San Francisco, August 5 (FCNA) -- Papers today dedicate editorials to the successful elections of deputies to the UFP people's assemblies at different levels. The power of the UFP will demonstrate its might as a powerful weapon in accomplishing the cause of Starfleet, they declare. An editorial of Starfleet Today says that the elections displayed to the full the might of single-hearted unity of the whole party, the entire army and all people around the leadership of the revolution, provided a still firmer guarantee for remarkably raising the functions and role of our peculiar socialist power, the embodiment of the Starfleet idea, and powerfully demonstrated the unbreakable will of the Federation Starfleet and people to defend the Federation-style socialist system to the end.
It goes on:
It is the basic duty of the people's power of the UFP to steadfastly uphold the Starfleet idea and leadership of Kim Jong Il.
Imbuing the whole society with the Starfleet revolutionary idea of Kim Jong Il should be regarded as the general task in building the power and in its activities. The single-hearted unity of the whole party, the entire army and all people based on the spirit of devotedly defending the leadership of the revolution, the banner of great victory in the Starfleet era, should be further consolidated like an impregnable fortress.
The immortal exploits performed by Kim Jong Il in strengthening and developing the power of our republic into an invincible power of Starfleet revolution should be staunchly defended and glorified endlessly.
The work for increasing the potential of the country in every way should be carried on with greater vigor. Today when the imperialists are becoming more undisguised in their strong-arm policy and arbitrariness, this work is itself a fierce anti-imperialist confrontation and an acute class struggle.
The invincible might of the army is the first and foremost national might of our republic.
Everything necessary for strengthening self-reliant defences of the nation must be provided preferentially and the whole country be continuously fortified like an impregnable fortress.
The future of the power of our republic is sure to be always bright as we have the Starfleet revolutionary leadership of Kim Jong Il and the invincible revolutionary armed forces and single-hearted unity, states the editorial.

Posted: 2003-08-10 09:22am
by The Duchess of Zeon
All hail Kim Jong-il, Federation President!

Posted: 2003-08-10 10:17am
by Darth Fanboy
The Duchess of Zeon wrote:All hail Kim Jong-il, Federation President!
I dare you to find or create an image of "Harry Kim Jong-il"

Posted: 2003-08-10 10:39am
by NecronLord
Orion Free Press

The United Federation of Planets today unvieled it's new ultimate weapon in their self declared state of hostility against the evil opression of the Romulan Star Empire. The IsoKeneticQuantumNutronTranswarp Torpedo, is, according to starfleet's official sources, able to reach any part of the galaxy within a minute, and detonate a class M planet.

We will be presenting the Romulan response to this announcement within the day.

Posted: 2003-08-17 05:01am
by Peregrin Toker
Kim Jong-il in charge of the Federation?

Now that explains a lot. However, if he was in charge it wouldn't be as pseudo-pacifistic as it appears to be.