Little story I felt must be posted somewhere!

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-09-23 07:30pm

Okay, this was written by me and a friend in a span of ~45 minutes for English class. It was censored by the teacher for reasons never really explained. This was all done for our (mine and my friend’s) amusement. I extend early apologies to anyone who is somehow offended

There are a few inside jokes, but anyone should get the general idea. This was supposed to be a dialogue, two characters in a stressful situation.

(one last note: Although we were not allowed to act this out, or even read it, we DID get 100% on it, and much praise from the teacher and his aide for excellent writing)

Err, I swear this is the last note: “rode shanks’ mare” is a synonym for walked, I found it by chance in the thesaurus. Look it up.
____________________________________________________________________

Rosie Rossini stiffly rode shanks’ mare into the gloomy clinic. She sat down and looked around. There were 3 other women there, all looking extremely sullen.

After a few minutes the nurse came out and called very cheerfully, “Ms. Rossini please!”

Rosie trudged towards the door. “I don’t know what SHE’S so happy about,” she grumbled.

The nurse didn’t hear her, and continued to lead her into the examination room. She informed Rosie, “The doctor will be with you in a minute.” Rosie acknowledged her with a curt, nervous nod.

Rosie was unable to look cheerful as exactly a minute later, a tall man of about 80 marched into the room. What little remaining hair he had left seemed to fit perfectly with his glasses and clean-shaven face, in some odd way. He was casually munching on a bag of Huge-brand Peanuts

In between the chewing of peanuts he managed to mumble, “Hello, I’m Dr. Buttford. What seems to be the problem?”

Tensely, she remarked, “I’m just here for an exam.”

The doctor put down his clipboard and motioned for her to lie down. “Ms. Rossi, is it?”

“Rossini,” she corrected him.

“Oh, Rossini, I’m sorry.” Dr. Buttford’s eyes scanned the clipboard he had just put down. “I just got here from Proctology, and I haven’t been given the updated patient list yet, but I think there IS a Rossi on this list somewhere.”

Rosie slowly lied down on the examination table. Immediately, she felt hands around her nether regions. Slightly shocked, she looked up. “Wait, so you haven’t ever given a gynecological exam?”

“No, but they told me it wasn’t too hard,” said Dr. Buttford, flashing his golden crown among his otherwise yellow teeth in a grin wider than anything Rosie had ever seen. “I was in the general area though, proctology, you know. They told me this was almost the same thing, so I thought I’d try it out.”

Her apprehension growing now, Rosie inched away from Dr. Buttford and mumbled uneasily, “I’m not so sure about this.”

He chimed brightly, “Relax! I’m a professional, and everything I do in this office remains between you and me!”

Remembering all the waivers she had to sign to get in there, she agreed. She relaxed a little. “I’m ready.”

“All right,” exclaimed Dr. Buttford as soon as he finished putting on his gloves. “Okay, spread your legs.”

And so it began.

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2003-09-23 08:36pm

Oh my

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-09-23 11:39pm

It's always good to have a hand in this profesion

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-09-24 04:11pm

"Censored for reasons never really explianed"?

I can think of a few reasons...

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-09-24 08:04pm

Singular Quartet wrote:"Censored for reasons never really explianed"?

I can think of a few reasons...

He finally said that simply, "It was too mature for the audience."

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-09-25 01:33am

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-09-25 02:40am

Interesting that he chose to post it here...

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-09-25 04:52pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:Interesting that he chose to post it here...

How so?

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2003-09-26 08:40am

This is.... odd.... not your usual story thing.....

Umm.... errr...

So, what happened then?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-09-26 11:37am

Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Interesting that he chose to post it here...

How so?

Doesn't SD.Net have a rather sleazy reputation?

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-09-26 02:23pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:Doesn't SD.Net have a rather sleazy reputation?

I know we're nuts, but I'd hardly call us sleazy. Especially the Fanfic forum.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-09-26 04:44pm

Shroom Man 777 wrote:So, what happened then?

An exam. I had some rather good dialog for it, but we chose not to write that part because that would be a little bit much for school.

Kuja wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote: Doesn't SD.Net have a rather sleazy reputation?
I know we're nuts, but I'd hardly call us sleazy. Especially the Fanfic forum.

I agree. I posted it here because this is one of the few places I can go where people will appreciate the story, or at least read it.

I write a lot, but it usually stays unfinished because I run out of ideas or just get bored with the thing. I am thinking of joining the Writer's Guild, because I do like to write, and I want to improve myself. The above story is a little less than my current level of writing. (it WAS written, edited, and rewritten in a single class period, so I don't think it's too bad...)

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2003-09-27 01:20am

I knew you didn't finish this thing, but could you at least tell us what you wanted to write or what you had in mind?

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-09-27 10:42am

Hehe, that's alright.

Still, nothing compared to my fic in the BotM.

(in terms of perversion that is)

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-09-29 05:38pm

Shroom Man 777 wrote:I knew you didn't finish this thing, but could you at least tell us what you wanted to write or what you had in mind?

funny dialog, general uncomfortable-ness, and more poking fun at the fact this guy was, up until recently, a proctologist named Dr. Buttford. Oh, and a bag of Huge-brand Peanuts was gonna be found in her "area". (it's kind of an inside joke...)

I might someday write more, but I'm currently planning out 1 story for fun and writing a short story for the very same class for which this story was written, so it probably won't happen anytime soon.

Setesh · Post by **Setesh** » 2003-09-30 09:16am

Kuja wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Doesn't SD.Net have a rather sleazy reputation?
I know we're nuts, but I'd hardly call us sleazy. Especially the Fanfic forum.

After Trinity vs. Mary Poppins you dare insinuate we have any moral fibre whatsoever, ye varlet

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-09-30 10:34am

Setesh wrote:
Kuja wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Doesn't SD.Net have a rather sleazy reputation?
I know we're nuts, but I'd hardly call us sleazy. Especially the Fanfic forum.
After Trinity vs. Mary Poppins you dare insinuate we have any moral fibre whatsoever, ye varlet

Don't some people around here eagerly watch how long it takes before a thread's topic changes into something sexual?

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-09-30 04:49pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Setesh wrote:
Kuja wrote: I know we're nuts, but I'd hardly call us sleazy. Especially the Fanfic forum.
After Trinity vs. Mary Poppins you dare insinuate we have any moral fibre whatsoever, ye varlet
Don't some people around here eagerly watch how long it takes before a thread's topic changes into something sexual?

Many people do. Myself included.

I wrote something in class today, we had to rewrite the ending of Interlopers (not that bad of a short story).... There was no Dr. Buttford, but I made sure to include Huge-Brand Peanuts. I got a standing ovation after reading it

*happy*

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-10-01 01:06am

Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote:I wrote something in class today, we had to rewrite the ending of Interlopers (not that bad of a short story)....

That story is fucking cool.