Unexpected Crossover (not the title)

[marty4286]

Chapter 1: Pollution

Motherfuckers, Private First Class Dani Argento thought as he saluted the two arriving officers. Argento was an MP, manning the outer gate to Baghdad International Airport. One of the officers had just told him they had got back from a US Army LAN party in the former Republican Palace.

"It was great," the Lieutenant in the passenger seat smiled, "hosted by Hajjis can you believe? No American soldier could have brought in their machine except for some shitty GI laptops, so they loaned us some"

Private Argento glared at the stranger who was clearly a superior.

The young lieutenant realized his mistake and turned red with embarassment. He broke eye contact with Argento and looked straight ahead. The officer left out of the conversation caught what happened and drove on.

The next hummvie that pulled up was Argento's commander, Captain Reynolds. On his passenger seat was a large brown box. A mouse cord was hanging over one side.

"So that's where you went, sir" The private smirked.

Reynolds nodded lightly.

"A couple of dumbasses that were in front of you bragged about the place to this deprived soldier," Argento slapped his left hand on his right shoulder. He had an informal relationship with the officers of his unit, they were all National Guard from the same neighborhood.

"Oh, you mean your new platoon commander and my new executive officer?" Reynolds grinned.

The private's eyes rolled in disgust.

Another hummvie honked its horn behind Reynolds.

"You're holding up the line, Captain Reynolds," Argento motioned the captain off.

"I bought four of these from the hajjis for the unit," Reynolds put his right hand on top of the one box Argento could see as he drove off.

Argento started to smiled as he waved the next few vehicles into the airport.

---

"What the hell was that about?" Private Lara Cohen grumbled as her hummvie finally passed the airport gate. She caught a glimpse of the gate MP that stopped traffic and seemed to be smiling at her.

Cohen was used to men gawking at her, so she returned with a smile of her own as she passed. To her surprise, the male soldier craned his neck to follow her and raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell was that about?" Cohen thought out loud.

"Didn't you just ask me that?" her driver whined before he was rear-ended violently.

--

Air Force 1st Lieutenant Philippe Aski was driving into the airport in a hummvie of his own. He had just returned from a bar that he frequented (but never drank in) everytime he flew in from Kuwait City on freight missions.

He was lapsed into one of his absent minded states (a reason he was a C-130 instead of F-15 pilot), and started staring at the MP at the gate. He recognized him instantly; the soldier had the gate post every time he was in Baghdad.

I've had eye contact with the guy once a day for three months, Aski thought, but I've never been acquainted with him

He was still staring at the MP as he crashed into the hummvie ambulance in front of him.

--

Captain Reynolds was jolted out of his seat when he heard a loud crash from behind him. The experienced military officer furrowed his brow at his rear-view mirror and saw the aftermath.

"Whew" Reynolds was visibly and audibly relieved that it wasn't a Fedayeen attack, just a run of the mill car-crash.

He stopped his vehicle and ran quickly to the scene.

--

Private Argento was aghast at what lay in front of him.

"Weak," he announced strongly.

Only the bumpers that bore the brunt actual impact were even bent. It was an extremely low speed collision.

He saw that the man in the rear vehicle was still in his seat pulling his hair out.

The driver of the front hummvie was already outside, surveying the damage.

"How the hell did THAT make such a loud sound?" the man said to himself.

The female passenger was outside as well, screaming at the rear driver.

Argento just shook his head as he took it all in.

The front vehicle's driver started to walk toward a small building, probaly to get a phone...

Why the hell didn't he ask me? the MP thought as he watched Captain Reynolds put a hand on the woman's shoulder to try to calm her down.

Captain Reynolds put out a sudden and quick scream as he took an elbow to the stomach.

A cloud of dust suddenly blanketed the area as Argento ran to help his Captain.

"The weatherman didn't say a thing about sandstorms," was the confused last words that Argento heard before he lost consciousness.

--

"I said EMIT THE QUANTUM FLUX THINGAMAJIG TO BOOST SENSOR CAPACITY" screamed the Captain of the USS Pussy Willow NCC-72924 at his sheepish science officer, "NOT THE QUANTUM FLUX THINGAMABOB"

The angry commanding officer paced back and forth behind the sensor station.

"You just polluted the timeline, you moron" He angrily derided the first Pakled Starfleet officer...

--

To be continued...

[Agent Fisher]

Three words. WHAT THE FUCK?

[Singular Quartet]

Three words. WHAT THE FUCK?

No, no, no, the proper three words are "WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT"

[Agent Fisher]

My mistake.

WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT

[Singular Quartet]

My mistake.

WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT

Much better.

[Peregrin Toker]

Or, as I prefer saying:

[Krusty The Klown] What the hell was THAT?? [/Krusty The Klown]

anyway, the idea of a Pakled officer in Starfleet sounds very funny. I encourage you to continue it, since this has the potential to become a classic.

[darthdavid]

Mo' Mo' Mo' Moooore Stoooory Nooooow!!!