StarDestroyer.Net BBS

I'm writing tankas due next week for English class, they are superfun to write so figured I'd share my genius. (tanka=unryhmed poem, five lines, 31 syllables)




Oh, Sushi
On your rice you sit
On the plate your rice sits
You were caught from the sea
Now you are a cube of food
Poor fish cube, I eat you now.

The Poem who's name shall not be spoken
Giant squid
Giant squid, with laser eyes
Giant squid, cannot be stopped
Giant squid destroying all
Die giant squid!

Look on the dark side of life
Sith, clad in black
Wielding sabres of red
Once served light
Now are pale,
With the darkness of evil upon their form.

Deep Thoughts
Inside your shell you sit
Safe from the outside
You think you are so cool
Lousy brain,
Get back to work or I'll poke you with a stick.

I, Plastic Soldier
Your evil beam of light comes down upon me
I cannot run
A cruel fate
Picked from a bag of many like me
What gives you right to play God?

justifier wrote: I, Plastic Soldier
Your evil beam of light comes down upon me
I cannot run
A cruel fate
Picked from a bag of many like me
What gives you right to play God?

Excellent. It can be taken as either humourous or not, but it can also have more serious, moral underpinnings. I love the "what gives you right to play God" line- reminiscent of the whole cloning and stem cell research debate. The others are silly, rather than moving, but I enjoyed readining them.

The Aliens wrote:

justifier wrote: I, Plastic Soldier
Your evil beam of light comes down upon me
I cannot run
A cruel fate
Picked from a bag of many like me
What gives you right to play God?

Excellent. It can be taken as either humourous or not, but it can also have more serious, moral underpinnings. I love the "what gives you right to play God" line- reminiscent of the whole cloning and stem cell research debate. The others are silly, rather than moving, but I enjoyed readining them.

Yeah, this one was originally inteneded to be a humorous one about an army man being melted, but once I started writing it got real serious, real fast. The others are meant to be just plain stupid

justifier wrote:

The Aliens wrote:

justifier wrote: I, Plastic Soldier
Your evil beam of light comes down upon me
I cannot run
A cruel fate
Picked from a bag of many like me
What gives you right to play God?

Excellent. It can be taken as either humourous or not, but it can also have more serious, moral underpinnings. I love the "what gives you right to play God" line- reminiscent of the whole cloning and stem cell research debate. The others are silly, rather than moving, but I enjoyed readining them.

Yeah, this one was originally inteneded to be a humorous one about an army man being melted, but once I started writing it got real serious, real fast. The others are meant to be just plain stupid

I'd have to say my favorite none-deep one was Deep Thoughts... but that might just be from my gf threatening to hurt me with a large stick...

I love the funny gramar plus the stupidly funny poens, it reminds me of wacky Japanese talk.

Hehe.. I like Oh, Sushi.

~ver

justifier wrote: The Poem who's name shall not be spoken
Giant squid
Giant squid, with laser eyes
Giant squid, cannot be stopped
Giant squid destroying all
Die giant squid!

Cthulhu, is that you?

Look on the dark side of life
Sith, clad in black
Wielding sabres of red
Once served light
Now are pale,
With the darkness of evil upon their form.

Darkly beautiful.

Deep Thoughts
Inside your shell you sit
Safe from the outside
You think you are so cool
Lousy brain,
Get back to work or I'll poke you with a stick.

Hmm... reminds me of a Ray Bradbury story called "Skeleton" about a man who's afraid of his own bones.

I, Plastic Soldier
Your evil beam of light comes down upon me
I cannot run
A cruel fate
Picked from a bag of many like me
What gives you right to play God?

Very interesting... I can't number the amount of metaphors you can see this poem as.