Mythology

[Iceberg]

This is some of the flavor fiction from the fantasy game I'm working on, Doom of Nations. So far, I'm shooting for "not as wretched as typical gamer fiction" (a lofty goal, I know).

The Telmachare is the major mythic cycle of this world (which doesn't have a name yet), named, strangely as it is, for a hero who is actually a rather minor character in it. For the sake of convenience (and my frayed sanity), it's currently written as if it were a summary along the line of Edith Hamilton's Mythology.

I was listening to Blind Guardian's album Nightfall on Middle-Earth while I wrote this (and half of the story hasn't been written yet: The Treason of the Dark Elves, the Cycle of the Danorians, The History of the Six Kingdoms and On the Ending of the Age of Silver and the Beginning of the Age of Steel). But I need some feedback now, so here it is.

On the Origin of the World

From The Telmachare

In the ancient times, there was void. Worlds spun from ether and song, created of legend and myth. The first beings in the universe were the Titans. The father of the Titans, Chronos, came out of the void and chaos, and set time in motion. The Titans kindled the first fire in the void, becoming the sun, and the ashes raked from the fire became the earth. When the fire threatened to rise up again and consume the Titans, they quenched it with water, and the water became the oceans. And for a time, the Titans were pleased with what they had wrought. The remains of the fire nourished the sprouting of the World Tree, and the roots and branches of the World Tree nestled the world. Ash became clay and soil, and the Titans, desiring younger beings to observe, took the first clay that formed from the ash, and used it to build four figures. The first two were a man and woman of surpassing beauty, formed in the shape of the titans themselves. They were given the name Elf. The first elves began to build their race in the world as the titans set to forming the second set of figures. From what the Titans learned as they watched the Elves form their kingdoms in the world, the new Humans were shorter and stouter than the elves, possessed of a brighter vitality at the cost of the length of their lives. A man’s light would burn for but a tenth the time an Elf’s could, but it would burn all the brighter for that.

On the Origin of Demons
Yet there was already trouble in the world, even in these early days, before even the first histories take note. Balron and Curuba, of the first children of Elves, craved power too greedily, and of course it was all about them, ready for them to find. And they fell, and their flesh was twisted in the fires of Hell and they became wholly things of evil, becoming the first balor and the first succubus, and so the demons were born, the most twisted and dangerous of all fiends. When they returned to the world of Elves and Men to share their new power, they were rebuffed and nearly killed, and they retreated to find new followers to colonize the deep hell they called their home... and for thousands of years, they bade their time and plotted their revenge, while the peoples of the world – men and elves – built their new civilization.

On the Coming of the Gods of Men and Elves
The Titans were as victim to the frailties and lusts of the flesh as their creations; the powerful urge to procreate had not stopped with their shaping of men and elves. And so they laid with each other and begat children; but their children were unlike any other; these children had a great power that their parents did not; they were more than Titans, but truly Gods, and they were able to answer the prayers of their followers. The first god was Cerebrel (kair-eh-brehl), the Lord of the Gods. He was the wisest of the children of the Titans, and forerunner of all to come. Yondalla came next, Goddess of Hearth and Home, and Cerebrel chose her as his wife. Then came swift Corellon, god of the Hunt, and the Elves, and his brother Moraddin, Lord of the Forge. Artania descended from the Moon and took up ladyship over it; she became the lover of Corellon and his partner in all things for all time afterward. Other gods followed – including the children of Cerebrel and Yondalla, like Syrel Fiana, the Goddess of Magic. All of the gods knew from their first moments that Men and Elves were to be protected; that they were the most important creations in the universe.

It was in this age that the angels of the Gods were created, mighty servants whose duty it was to inspire all that was good and just in mankind and elvenkind, and to defend them from the demons. The angels were like as the most beautiful of man and elf combined, and they appeared to many heroes and slayed many great beasts.

Yet some failed in their duties and fell victim to the temptations of power, as had the first demons an age ago, and these gods became demonlords, beginning with their leader, Sarush, the goddess of serpents. The angel Fury (or Erinyes) fell and became the first devil, and a number of her fellow-angels rallied to her side, becoming twisted as she had and joining her as the Second Host of Hell. A fall which would have dire consequences for Men and Elves in the age to come.

On the Ending of the Golden Age
At the end of the Golden Age, the demons, the children of Balron and Curuba, returned to the world to make war on those who had cast them out. And so the demonwar began, and raged for many generations of Men. As the war reached its height, and all hope seemed lost, the hero Telmar drove his mighty spear into the very breast of Balron, the lord of all demons, and killed him. For this, Lady Curuba swore to wreak her revenge on Telmar and so she did; capturing him from the face of the earth. Deep in Hell, she tortured him, promising his only release would come when he had fully paid in blood for the death of her lover. And he would have remained in Hell forever, if not for the intrepidity of his lover, Ariel, who girded herself with her beloved’s enchanted armor, took up his spear, and delved deep below the earth to find and release him. For a year and a day Ariel quested to find her lost Telmar, battling fiends and monsters, and befriending the dragon gods Bahamut, Tiamat and Dimant. After countless trials, the four found themselves in Hell at long last, only to find Ariel’s love sitting atop his former enemy’s throne, enthralled to Curuba by the circlet he wore on his brow.

The Demoness taunted Ariel, crowing that she had come all that way for naught. Then, she ordered Telmar to kill his love and take his place at her side. The warrior drew his sword against the woman he had once protected with his life, and she drew her own, gifted from Tiamat’s own treasury, with the power to slay demons. For days, the lovers battled; the mighty strokes of their blades cleaving underground columns and causing mighty earthquakes in the world. At long last, Ariel’s sword struck home, severing the circlet which held her beloved’s will captive; The demonic blood which had kept his senses ensnared evaporated, and he saw clearly again, but it was too late for him. He had only enough time to whisper his love to her before he crumpled to the ground, dead, a shard of black crystal piercing his heart. Curuba crowed that her victory was complete over the man who had slain her lover, and prepared to slay Ariel as she wept over Telmar, but the great dragon gods intervened and bore her away to the eternal rest of Godshall, never to be seen again in the world. And so passed the Golden Age of the World.

On the Making of Halflings and Dwarves, and On the Corruption of the Orcs
In time, Yondalla’s favor settled upon a sect of men whose clans called the whole world home; and any firepit they could lay was their hearth. In those days, the sect called themselves “Halflings” not because they were smaller than men, as they are today, but because they only ever were “half” members of any society they passed through. The halflings knew that they were unloved by conventional settled man, so they never stayed in one place for very long, but passed in, performed useful services and left before they could wear out their welcome, forever chasing their wanderlust. And so, shortly before the Silver Age began, Yondalla’s favor worked upon them, and they grew smaller and lighter of both foot and finger, and halflings as we now know them were born.

Meanwhile, Moraddin, worshipped by a sect of mountain elves, sought a way to make them better-suited to their rugged home; and so they became short and stocky, with incredible innate stonecunning and strength exceeding that of any mere man or elf; in other words, they became dwarves, and so the races of the Silver age were nearly all together... but as there were gods to exult, so were there others... others, to corrupt.

Malgoroth, Lord of Devils, the consort of Sarush, set his corrupting work on clans of elves peopling the eastern deserts of Suria, the southern continent, while she planted a dark seed of corruption in the men to their direct south. And that seed grew in two directions; Some became more serpentine, becoming the Surathi; while others became more bestial and aggressive, becoming Orcs. The Age of Silver was about to begin.

[CaptainChewbacca]

Sounds good. I like that dwarves and elves share a kinship and that there's a similar one between men and halflings.

I also noticed a lot of the gods are borrowed from D&D, but it works

[Iceberg]

Sounds good. I like that dwarves and elves share a kinship and that there's a similar one between men and halflings.

I also noticed a lot of the gods are borrowed from D&D, but it works

Most of the deity names in here are placeholders; I intend to replace them with "real" names later on. Cerebrel, Artania and Syrel Fiana are the ones that are somewhat final (because they came out of my own head and not from somebody else's work).

[Peregrin Toker]

Reminds me of Silmarillion.

[Iceberg]

Reminds me of Silmarillion.

I take it that's a compliment?

[Peregrin Toker]

Reminds me of Silmarillion.

I take it that's a compliment?

Well, it's certainly evident that you've put some degree of effort into it.