Armchair Generals
Posted: 2004-03-14 02:46am
A quickly written story to relieve some frustration.
David ran across the school lawn and hurridly fumbled trying to take his wallet out of his pocket, he succecced in doing so, but it was out more then he wanted, all the way on the ground in fact.
“Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap.” He managed to pick it up and fish out a crumpled dollar bill without losing too much time. He kept running and made his way to the soda machine, which luckily took his dollar on only the fifth try and wasn’t sold out of sweet, life-giving Vannila Coke. He grabbed it ran and made his way up the stairs against the crowd going down, turning left at the top and getting to the Chemistry room door.
“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!” he said bursting into the room. Mr. Depp turned and gave a sigh, looking at David from his chair.
“So what did I miss?” asked David setting his bag down on a table close to the door.
“We just divided up the American forces, say merry Christmas because Jesse dropped out so you got two infantry squads and a Sherman.” David walked over and looked at the large-ish metal tray covered in pieces of green foam on stands and a pieces of spongy lichen. Strategy club was his favorite part of the day, it was challenging and interesting, he could think about planning wargame strategies all day and ignore his classes, it was probably the only thing keeping him from going into a deranged homicidal rage during school hours. The club played all sorts of historical wargames on different systems, but Guts’N’Glory was diffinatly a club favorite, and this week was the first time they were playing it in 15mm scale. David sat and admired the 15mm soldiers as the rest of the members came into the room and sat around the field.
Mr. Depp began,
“Now that everyone is here the American players can begin setting up, after I give some quick background on the mission. The seniors are playing as the Germans, they set up their side on Saturday; David, Phelps and June are the Americans. We are fighting in the Normandy hedgerows, the Americans are up against an unknown German force, the goal is to take this farmhouse from the Germans,” he pointed to a house on one side of the board,
“the Americans set up along here,” he drew a line with his finger along a board edge opposite from the farmhouse,
“today the Americans can set up and write orders for the first turn.” David looked at the board, the main road was covered by a Tiger tank left purposely uncovered, to the left and right were squares of hedges containing heaps of lichean, some containing Germans lying in wait.
“We’ve titatium super tanks! You guys are doomed”, gloated Ian.
“I’M FIRING!” yelled Travis. David ignored him before tapping June and Phelps,
“I’ve got a plan.”
“I love it when David has a plan, oh, he’s gonna sit and bore the Germans to death!” yelled Ian. David ignored him and brought the other two player next to the back door,
“We have to take that Tiger out, if we advance all of our squads together across the left side we can have June’s bazooka team jump over the last hedgerow and move our tanks on to main road at the same time, force the Germans to give us a flank shot on that Tiger, then we move one tank to meet up with the infantry squads and advance on the house.”
Sergeant Johnson gathered his men,
“We have a new assignment ladies, high command has learned that there is a small French farmhouse, which if captured will destroy German resistence and lead us straight into Berlin.”, there were a few laughs from the tired men leaning against the dented Sherman tanks.
“We start moving in two hours, get ready. That is all.”
“I’M FIRING!” yelled Travis.
June and Phelps set their squads to the left, the American force forming a huge mass at one corner of the table. The seniors sat and snickered from their corner.
“We climb these hedges together, the Germans waiting on the other side are dug in and waiting for us so don’t get sloppy. A, C and E squads up front, B squad waits here.” The sergeant walked towards the towering hedge. Past the hedge to his right three Shermans began moving forward with a rumble and the nine men of D squad moved forward behind it.
David took a drink from his Coke and measured four inches of movement with the club’s plastic ruler, moved his squad and moved out of the way to allow June and Phelps to move their squads. Mr. Depp looked at the table,
“I assume the first turn is over?” The American players nodded and penciled in their orders for the second turn; all units advancing. David moved his squad first and set his men on the other side of the hedge, when Travis leaned over to Mr. Depp and whispered something to him. Mr. Depp stood up,
“Who owns E squad?”
“Um, I do.” said June.
“Your sergeant is over next to C squad, all of your men are out of command radius,” said Mr. Depp pointing to the misplaced figure,
“Your men are going to have to take a morale check on a d8.” June rolled and managed to somehow fail getting six on a d8.
Johnson lead his men over the top of the hedgerows.
“Where in the Hell is E squad?” he looked around and then yelled over the hedge,
“Where in the HELL is E squad!” From over the hedge a voice answered,
“It’s Denver, he shot himself in the leg, sir.”
“Damn it, you stay back and send B squad up here, on the double! Also I need-” A shot rang out and the man next to Johnson dropped.
Mr. Depp looked at his chart; Travis had just ordered a German unit somewhere in the area to open fire in the middle of the American turn with his overwatch ability.
“Okay David, your squad has to take a morale check on a d12” David rolled and failed.
“Phelps you can take a reaction spot on the Germans.” Phelps rolled and failed. Travis snickered.
“Turn two is over, Americans write up your orders.”
Sergeant Johnson dropped to the ground and looked around the green lawn,
“Where did that come from!” No one responded.
“Everybody stay down until we spot the shooter.”
Mr. Depp looked surprised as he read the American orders chart, the players had all changed from advance to overwatch order for the third turn.
“Be careful. Anybody see that sni-” a man next to Johnson let out a scream.
“He killed Jenkins, no!”
“Phelps, your squad took a casualty, take a morale check” said Mr. Depp. Phelps rolled and passed.
“Okay you can take a spot check.” Phelps pointed to a piece of lichen close to his squad.
“Uh, I’ll spot that.” The seniors said something and gathered in a group, calling over Mr. Depp. David quickly nudged Phelps,
“Dude, no you can do a reaction spot.”
“Okay, never mind I’m changing it to a reaction spot” said Phelps, but the seniors and Mr. Depp were too busy talking.
“Okay I’m rolling.” Said Phelps trying to get the attention of the group. When none turned he just decided to roll the d8. Mr. Depp walked back over to the table with the seniors.
“I passed the spot check” said Phelps.
“For what?”
“Reaction spot”
“Okay then” Mr. Depp picked up a piece of lichen to reveal a single German sniper. Travis jumped to his feet and began yelling,
“You didn’t do a reaction, to pointed at a specific piece of lichen!”
“We changed our minds before we rolled.”
“That’s a lie, you didn’t say anything!”
“You didn’t listen!”
“No! no! no!”
“We had every right to do a reaction spot!” Mr. Depp stood up,
“There is a very easy way to solve this” he picked up a di,
“odds Americans take it, evens Germans take it” he rolled,
“evens.”
Tavis looked smug as Mr. Depp put the lichen back on the sniper. David stood over a table for a moment before looking up,
“A squad is taking a regular spot check” he pointed to the piece of lichen covering the sniper,
“on that piece of lichen.” He rolled and passed the spot check, with Mr. Depp again revealing the veteran German sniper.
“Hey you can’t do that, it’s cheating to fire on him, I get to relocate the sniper! You can’t cheat like that!” said a suddenly annoyed Travis.
David collected a handful of dice,
“Just shut up and die.”
“Blow that Kraut piece of shit away!” screamed the sergeant. Around the field both squads opened up simaltaniously on a single point, infantry men finally stopping as their Garands ejected empty clips with a distinct ping. Across the lawn one of the Third Reich’s finest surviving snipers was now nothing more than a puddle of red goo.
David ran across the school lawn and hurridly fumbled trying to take his wallet out of his pocket, he succecced in doing so, but it was out more then he wanted, all the way on the ground in fact.
“Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap.” He managed to pick it up and fish out a crumpled dollar bill without losing too much time. He kept running and made his way to the soda machine, which luckily took his dollar on only the fifth try and wasn’t sold out of sweet, life-giving Vannila Coke. He grabbed it ran and made his way up the stairs against the crowd going down, turning left at the top and getting to the Chemistry room door.
“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!” he said bursting into the room. Mr. Depp turned and gave a sigh, looking at David from his chair.
“So what did I miss?” asked David setting his bag down on a table close to the door.
“We just divided up the American forces, say merry Christmas because Jesse dropped out so you got two infantry squads and a Sherman.” David walked over and looked at the large-ish metal tray covered in pieces of green foam on stands and a pieces of spongy lichen. Strategy club was his favorite part of the day, it was challenging and interesting, he could think about planning wargame strategies all day and ignore his classes, it was probably the only thing keeping him from going into a deranged homicidal rage during school hours. The club played all sorts of historical wargames on different systems, but Guts’N’Glory was diffinatly a club favorite, and this week was the first time they were playing it in 15mm scale. David sat and admired the 15mm soldiers as the rest of the members came into the room and sat around the field.
Mr. Depp began,
“Now that everyone is here the American players can begin setting up, after I give some quick background on the mission. The seniors are playing as the Germans, they set up their side on Saturday; David, Phelps and June are the Americans. We are fighting in the Normandy hedgerows, the Americans are up against an unknown German force, the goal is to take this farmhouse from the Germans,” he pointed to a house on one side of the board,
“the Americans set up along here,” he drew a line with his finger along a board edge opposite from the farmhouse,
“today the Americans can set up and write orders for the first turn.” David looked at the board, the main road was covered by a Tiger tank left purposely uncovered, to the left and right were squares of hedges containing heaps of lichean, some containing Germans lying in wait.
“We’ve titatium super tanks! You guys are doomed”, gloated Ian.
“I’M FIRING!” yelled Travis. David ignored him before tapping June and Phelps,
“I’ve got a plan.”
“I love it when David has a plan, oh, he’s gonna sit and bore the Germans to death!” yelled Ian. David ignored him and brought the other two player next to the back door,
“We have to take that Tiger out, if we advance all of our squads together across the left side we can have June’s bazooka team jump over the last hedgerow and move our tanks on to main road at the same time, force the Germans to give us a flank shot on that Tiger, then we move one tank to meet up with the infantry squads and advance on the house.”
Sergeant Johnson gathered his men,
“We have a new assignment ladies, high command has learned that there is a small French farmhouse, which if captured will destroy German resistence and lead us straight into Berlin.”, there were a few laughs from the tired men leaning against the dented Sherman tanks.
“We start moving in two hours, get ready. That is all.”
“I’M FIRING!” yelled Travis.
June and Phelps set their squads to the left, the American force forming a huge mass at one corner of the table. The seniors sat and snickered from their corner.
“We climb these hedges together, the Germans waiting on the other side are dug in and waiting for us so don’t get sloppy. A, C and E squads up front, B squad waits here.” The sergeant walked towards the towering hedge. Past the hedge to his right three Shermans began moving forward with a rumble and the nine men of D squad moved forward behind it.
David took a drink from his Coke and measured four inches of movement with the club’s plastic ruler, moved his squad and moved out of the way to allow June and Phelps to move their squads. Mr. Depp looked at the table,
“I assume the first turn is over?” The American players nodded and penciled in their orders for the second turn; all units advancing. David moved his squad first and set his men on the other side of the hedge, when Travis leaned over to Mr. Depp and whispered something to him. Mr. Depp stood up,
“Who owns E squad?”
“Um, I do.” said June.
“Your sergeant is over next to C squad, all of your men are out of command radius,” said Mr. Depp pointing to the misplaced figure,
“Your men are going to have to take a morale check on a d8.” June rolled and managed to somehow fail getting six on a d8.
Johnson lead his men over the top of the hedgerows.
“Where in the Hell is E squad?” he looked around and then yelled over the hedge,
“Where in the HELL is E squad!” From over the hedge a voice answered,
“It’s Denver, he shot himself in the leg, sir.”
“Damn it, you stay back and send B squad up here, on the double! Also I need-” A shot rang out and the man next to Johnson dropped.
Mr. Depp looked at his chart; Travis had just ordered a German unit somewhere in the area to open fire in the middle of the American turn with his overwatch ability.
“Okay David, your squad has to take a morale check on a d12” David rolled and failed.
“Phelps you can take a reaction spot on the Germans.” Phelps rolled and failed. Travis snickered.
“Turn two is over, Americans write up your orders.”
Sergeant Johnson dropped to the ground and looked around the green lawn,
“Where did that come from!” No one responded.
“Everybody stay down until we spot the shooter.”
Mr. Depp looked surprised as he read the American orders chart, the players had all changed from advance to overwatch order for the third turn.
“Be careful. Anybody see that sni-” a man next to Johnson let out a scream.
“He killed Jenkins, no!”
“Phelps, your squad took a casualty, take a morale check” said Mr. Depp. Phelps rolled and passed.
“Okay you can take a spot check.” Phelps pointed to a piece of lichen close to his squad.
“Uh, I’ll spot that.” The seniors said something and gathered in a group, calling over Mr. Depp. David quickly nudged Phelps,
“Dude, no you can do a reaction spot.”
“Okay, never mind I’m changing it to a reaction spot” said Phelps, but the seniors and Mr. Depp were too busy talking.
“Okay I’m rolling.” Said Phelps trying to get the attention of the group. When none turned he just decided to roll the d8. Mr. Depp walked back over to the table with the seniors.
“I passed the spot check” said Phelps.
“For what?”
“Reaction spot”
“Okay then” Mr. Depp picked up a piece of lichen to reveal a single German sniper. Travis jumped to his feet and began yelling,
“You didn’t do a reaction, to pointed at a specific piece of lichen!”
“We changed our minds before we rolled.”
“That’s a lie, you didn’t say anything!”
“You didn’t listen!”
“No! no! no!”
“We had every right to do a reaction spot!” Mr. Depp stood up,
“There is a very easy way to solve this” he picked up a di,
“odds Americans take it, evens Germans take it” he rolled,
“evens.”
Tavis looked smug as Mr. Depp put the lichen back on the sniper. David stood over a table for a moment before looking up,
“A squad is taking a regular spot check” he pointed to the piece of lichen covering the sniper,
“on that piece of lichen.” He rolled and passed the spot check, with Mr. Depp again revealing the veteran German sniper.
“Hey you can’t do that, it’s cheating to fire on him, I get to relocate the sniper! You can’t cheat like that!” said a suddenly annoyed Travis.
David collected a handful of dice,
“Just shut up and die.”
“Blow that Kraut piece of shit away!” screamed the sergeant. Around the field both squads opened up simaltaniously on a single point, infantry men finally stopping as their Garands ejected empty clips with a distinct ping. Across the lawn one of the Third Reich’s finest surviving snipers was now nothing more than a puddle of red goo.