For every story to happen... (my daft fanfic)

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2004-05-05 01:11pm

For every story to take place, you need to have a baggining...

Every Event has to have a witness, no matter how small it may seem, it affects the out come of millions of events which occur after it. The one real example of this are around us, they effect how people react to their surroundings, but we are never told WHO saw the creation of this world are we? Who saw God create this world? Well, there is one person, and he is not very keen to talk about it.

Our tale starts some twenty years ago, America was still young, and many people were still fresh faced immigrants from far across the oceans mostly they are rich aristocrats who want to be rid of the ever growing Urban jungle in London, and ever parts of Europe, they want people who will be obedient to them, they want power. Many people who went to the newly established country were just ordinary farmer folk, who want to run away from their old lives.

The beginning of this tale starts in a small farming village not far from they city of New York, out side of the justice, if one could cal it that, yet not so far as not to be bullied by the rulers there.

A young man has been ordered by his own masters to find out the reason for a spate of crime in the village. He is of a rational mind, sceptical of many things, including the view of justice within his own city, what he finds in the village changes his life, and they way he looks upon many things, but mainly his beliefs.

While he was there, many people were killed. and this of course means that someone will be there to witness things, of course he turns up for everyone eventually, he usally does not have to visit them more than once. Usually.

He was never meant to be there, the only real reason that he had gone there was because he wanted a rest. The world were he “lived” was currently going through the solar system where this planet was located, he would have to back soon.

He was inspecting a tree, much blood had been spilt here, many people had been killed, and one person was a regular visitor here, you could call him the visitor’s cousin. The tree he was looking at was named after him, well in a fashion; he thought it looked very nice, because it was black.

He had made his mind up, he was going to take this tee back to his home he thought it would be a good place for the swing to be located. He extended a bony arm forwards, he concentrated for a second, a dull blue flash, and the Scythe of Death came to him life in his out stretched hand. After a while, it lost its dull glow, after all it was sharp, you don’t need much in the way of magic powers to chops a tree down do you…

He chopped down a few other trees as well, he made a raft for the tree to be transported, he lifted the huge hulking tree up over his head, he stumbled around for a few seconds before finding where his hand made raft laid. He put down the huge tree down, securing it with some infinite string. He them pulled the loaded raft towards his horse where he tied the massive raft to the saddle with some more string .

He mounted the white horse with no trouble; as he took hold of the reins, Binky took to the air with bird like grace. Soon he was away from the round world and galloping through space towards his home.

As he came closer to his domain near Cori Celesti noticed Binky slowing down, the tree was getting heavier on its raft, this was strange… usually the horse of Death could pull or carry anything, or anyone.

With a snap the tree broke away from its unusual transportation, and started its descent towards the cabbage fields, root already beginning to grow with the moisture in the air. This area was known to be good for the plants.

Death observed with a grin on his face.

'DAMN'

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2004-05-05 01:12pm

Tis is one of my fist ever fics, and im no good at writing down my ideas,, so if it sucks.. just say so

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2004-05-05 01:19pm

Shit! ive posted it in the wrong place1 could a mod move it!!!

Post by **NecronLord** » 2004-05-05 01:20pm

So let it be written. So let it be done.

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2004-05-05 01:22pm

Thanks NecronLord

Crom · Post by **Crom** » 2004-05-05 05:17pm

I just read through it once and it seems alright. It is one of your firsts so you don't have to be great. One time through I think your thoughts were a little jumbled and I had a hard time figuring out what was going on.

I think you have a good writing voice, it certainly felt like I was reading a story and that the story would be funny. So keep at it.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-05-06 10:43am

The story is not bad. A little more background information would be helpful I think.

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2004-05-06 11:49am

well.. its because of a thread in Fantasy, the Headless horseman on the disc...

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2004-05-06 02:05pm

I know im a newb to this kinda thing, but hey, i need something to keep me amused...

Beans, Cabbages, beans, cabbages, and some sprouts, anything that is green and capable of reducing a stone-faced lawyer into a laughing stock is grown here. Mostly it is sent down the Ankh, and when it reached the city of a million people, the smell was barely noticed by the inhabitants of the city.

The Sto plains are the main farmland for the continents widdershins of the Circle Sea, mostly the crops grown here are green, and smelly. The area is rarely known for having anything exciting to happen, mostly because people fainted because of the smell before that could mug anybody coming down the turnpike.

Now there was a noise, a sound of something pummelling towards the ground, also something else was happening, below the ground where a shadow was now ever growing, a hole was now appearing, a hole the size of two or three carriages, the soil appeared to peel it self back from the ground as if in anticipation that something was going to land here, not good but great.

There was a crash.

As the dust settles from the impact, we can now see what has landed, it is a tree its massive trunk and spiked branches all now settled in the hole, that nature has created for it. If we take the time to walk around this tree, we will notice some key thing, which most trees do not In fact have. One such thing is the colour, it is pitch black , not black as in the night’s sky, but the very pigment. The other thing one might notice, is the large notch, which is about half a meter off the ground, it appears not to be big enough for a fully-grown human. But then again, who says that humans have to be in on all the big plots these days?

Now as we stand back to study the tree from a distance, we notice the blood, it is seeping from a wound, which must have been caused by the impact. It bleeds bright red bloody, dripping like treacle onto a now red ground, we hear a noise coming from the tree, and it’s a squelching noise, which is a noise that people generally don’t associate with tree’s.

The Headless Horseman burst forth from his tree, preparing for another raid upon the village of Sleepy Hollow, his horse began its now quite boring route through the forest.
At least, that’s what it had thought it was going to do. The Horsemen looked around as hard as he could. The land where he was had no trees. Except for the one, which he had just emerged from.

For the first time in his existence, the Headless Horseman was confused.

If someone cn give me some advice on how to get my style to be in some way interesting, i would be most glad