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A Comma Story

Posted: 2004-05-18 11:59pm
by LT.Hit-Man
Here's a little fic that I had been working on from time to time when I was off line, it's not a SWvsST fic but still I think you might enjoy it.
Have fun with it, if you dare :twisted:








Disclamer: Eva belongs to Gainax and I'm just doing up this fic for fun not money.

A Comma Story
By LT.Hit-Man


Shinji let out a slight groan as he felt something strange happening with his body.
" Hummm-Hummm Oh damm that feels sooooo good! "He murmured sleepily as the strange sensation change to a warm wet sensation.

Shinji slowly looked around though his half open eyes and let out a deep sigh of contentment before he closed his eyes and basked in the sensation that was becoming more and more intense with each passing moment.
" Oh ya that hits that spot! " Shinji gasped as he focused his sleep fogged mind on the image of Rei Ayanami and Asuka Soryu who had there heads between his legs as he laid back, placing his wary head between two large soft and vary warm pillows as a pair of hands slowly glided over his naked chest.

" How very strange why would Asuka and Rei have there heads between my legs for? Shinji thought to himself as more and more of his brain's synapses began to fire as he slowly left the land of nod.

* CLICK! *

Shinji's eyes opened really REALLY fast as the full meaning of his last thought about Rei and Asuka finaly sank in to his now fully awakened brain with such speed that they nearly exploded out of his skull.

" OH SHIT! " Shinji squeaked as he slowly looked southward.
His eyes confirming that Asuka and Rei did indeed have there heads between his legs and saw what they where doing to him as he suffered from a case of morning wood unlike any that he had awaken to in his sure to be short and sad life.

* TIMBER! * went Shinji's might oak in a spray of man jam.

Shinji just laid there in a state of utter shock for about 3/10th of second before his mind blew a few more fuses as Rei Asuka and a very familiar voice from behind him spoke gleefully " Morning Master! " as Rei and Asuka began to clean off there faces with a few well placed swipes of this tongues.
" UNNN Hun! " Shinji gasped as he slowly started to turn his head to see who had spoken from behind him then he noticed the pair of hands that where playing with his painfully swollen nipples as a wave of goose bumps erupted across his body.
" God if you exist take me now! " Shinji though to himself for he knew that a slow painful death was in store for him as his head came to a stop and he found himself looking at the lustfully smiling face of Misato Katsuragi over the rolling hill locks of her ample chest.

" WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGG! "
Shinji screamed at the top of his lungs as his lungs as his mind refused to accept his current situation.
" Master?!?!?!" Misato, Asuka and Rei said as they saw there beloved master crying like a baby.

" I-I-I'm s-s-s-s-o-o-o sorry PLEASE DON'T KILL ME ! " Shinji wined as his mind kicked in to the ultimate from of survival namely that of shameless begging and groveling.

Rei, Misato and Asuka exchanged confused looks with each other as an ocean of tears where wept from Shinji's eyes then they did something that had nearly caused Shinji to soil himself.

They started to laugh like they had gotten a snoot full of Nitrous Oxide.

" Kill you why would we do such a thing for Master? " Asuka said with smile that caused Shinji to tremble in terror as she rubbed the left side of her face against his inter-thigh, filling his mind with bloody images of new found birth control via Asuka's dental ware.

Misato gently grabbed Shinji's head in her hands and placed it between her cleavage as Shinji started to struggle to escape from her embrace as he felt the hot breath of Death on his right check or was Misato's breath as started to rain loving kisses on Shinji's neck as Asuka continued to rub her face on his inter-thigh with a loud content purring.
" You must of had a bad dream Master of my heart and soul. " Misato cooed in Shinji's ear with a hot, smokey voice before she started to delicately lick the spot behind his left ear that sent Shinji into a fit of shivering , half from his ebbing fear the slow heating of his blood and the faint string between his legs.

" Rest assured my Master this is no dream. " Rei said as she slithered up Shinji's taunt body and was straddling his chest giving him a perfect view of the well trimmed blue hedge that surrounded her garden of sweet delight as it glistened with her dew, he slowly looked upwards and took a moment to admire her pear shaped breasts that where capped with her hardened nipples.

Right then and there Shinji knew that there was a God as he looked into Rei's eyes that where as red as the burning fires of her seeming endless passion as he saw the undying love, devotion, kindness and understanding that had been missing from his life.

Unfortunately for Shinji he was not in God's good book as a door creaked open as he was about to indulge his thirst for Rei's sweet nectar and in walked his father.

" OH FUCK! " Shinji yelped as he started to trash around looking for a blanket or a sheet that he could cover up the highly erotic sight of the human sandwich on the bed as Asuka sought the tangy zip of Shinji whip straight from the source while Rei and Misato where about to make an up close and personal inspection of the handi work of there dentists.

" Good morning my lord it is good to see that you are awake. " Gendo Ikari said as he saw his much loved son who was about to enjoy some early morning quality time with his wives.

When Shinji heard what his father had said his mind locked up tighter then a buzzard's ass in a power dive and just about dropped a log or three as he saw the smile on his father's face, it was not the usual cunning, plotting smile that he had rarely seen when his father was in one of his ever so super rare good moods no this was a warm, fatherly smile that Shinji had not seen since he was four years old before his father left him to his own fate without him.

But before Shinji could say a word in walked his mother!

Yui Ikari felt her soul brighten when she saw her son even though he was in a situation that would have had her spiting fire as he beat Shinji's ass but that was a long time ago and things had changed so much in the last six years so she was willing to let it go as well as the fact that her son was legally married to the three women that where in his bed with him.

" Son as much as I hate to disturb you and your wives-" Yui felt a pang of worry shoot though her as she saw the look on her son's face as if he just realized that there was a speeding sixteen wheeler come right at him "-your subjects are waiting for you so you must not be late." she told Shinji who was now most assuredly beyond the state of confusion.

With a deep sigh from Misato, Rei and a slightly muffled one of Asuka they disengaged themselves from Shinji who had a look in his slightly glazed eyes that told them that he was not out to lunch but in an entirely different galaxy.

After a few long minutes of trying and failing to understand what was happening Shinji shook his head and in a very shaky voice he asked them what the hell was going on as he got up from the bed.

After a few looks of confusion that where exchanged between the three wives the father and mother Gendo let out a laugh that made Shinji jump, " Well it looks like your wives have been seeing to your every needs quite well if they can make you forget the last six years." he said with a slight leer that earned him a smack to the back of the head from his wife and Shinji could see in his mother's eyes as his father looked at her that instead of anger towards his father for such a crude remark Shinji saw a look that seemed to say
" Just wait until I get you alone and I'll show you a thing or three about taking care of needs."

Gendo let out a slight " Humffing " sound before he looked back over to Shinji.

" Well son after the angels where defeated the old emperor was dying from the wounds that he had suffered in the battle with the last angel and with his dying words he named you to succeed him as the emperor of Japan due to your heroic efforts to not only save his life juring that battle but for saving all of humanity. "
Gendo said and when he saw the fog of confusion leave Shinji's eyes he took that as a sign that he was understanding what he was being told and Gendo added " After your coronation as the new emperor of Japan Rei, Misato and Asuka asked you to marry them but since you could not pick one of them to be your wife because you loved all three of them they decided that they would be your wives." as he looked over to Where Asuka Misato and Rei where standing there in there birthday suits with a slight look of worry in there eyes.
" Say when are you going to make me and your mother grandparents? " Gendo asked earning him another smack to the back of the head.

Shinji looked at his parents then over to the three women who he loved very deeply and who loved him just as much if not more so by the fact that they where his wives and where willing to share him with each other and for a few minutes he thought about what he had just been told.
" Fuck it I deal with all this once I have done my duty." Shinji thought to himself.
" Umm so Umm father what am I saposse to do? "

Gendo smiled once more at Shinji who felt like jumping out of his skin " Don't worry son all you have to do is address the people and assure them that thing are going to get better under your rule, that should not be to hard after all the people love you, you are there hero they would fallow you to hell and back if you asked them too."

Shinji let out a deep sigh for he knew this was going to be a long day.

Shinji felt strangely at ease in his gold and purple silk robes as he and his wives made to way to the court yard of the imperial place even as he lead Rei, Asuka and Misato by the thin sold gold chains that where fastened to the collars that they where wearing.

Shinji took a moment to look over at his wives and felt a surge of lust as he feasted his eyes on them, after he had finished speaking with his mother and father he found the robes that he was to wear and got dressed while Rei, Misato and Asuka got dressed in another room.
When they came out of the room Shinji just about died of a heart attack as he saw what they had dressed themselves in.

Asuka was dressed in a skin tight red PVC devil girl suit complete with little red horns in place of her old neural interface chips with a gold collar.

Misato was dressed in a slinky low cut white evening dress that was made of silk and she had a silver collar around her neck.

Rei was decked out in a black leather bondage outfit that had just about given Shinji a terminal nose bleed that was complete with a spiked black leather collar.

Shinji just about freaked out when he saw the three of them dressed like that but when his wives told him that the four of them like to play some really kinky games Shinji wobbled over to the bed and sat down before he fell down on his ass as he tried to remember when he had become such a pervert.

His wives could see the look of fear and self loathing in his eyes that where on the verge of tearing up and they told him that juring the last battle he had been badly injured and that his memory had been lost and from time to time he would forget his past and that was the reason why he found his current situation so disturbing.

After his wives had quickly * reassured * him that everything was fine and normal they each hooked a thin gold chain to there collars and handed the other ends to him and they told him that it was time to address the people but as soon as he was done they where going to make some new memories that would last a life time with a sly lusty tone of voice that made his blood boil.

Thankfully Shinji's robes where thick enough to hide the hard on that he was sporting as they made there way from there room to the court yard.

" ALL HAIL EMPEROR IKARI !" was the near deafening cry from the seemingly endless sea of people that where in the court yard as he and his wives along with his father and mother walked out of the place.

" It's great to be emperor! " Shinji thought as he smiled at his subjects.
Suddenly there was a flash of light as if a billion suns had all exploded at once in his face that was quickly fallowed by a crash of what sounded like thunder.

Then the pain hit him like he was being stomped on by an Eva unit.

" CLEAR ! " A voice shouted and then Shinji felt like he had been struck by lighting as pain ripped though his body causing him to scream but he found that he could not.

BEEP BEEP BEEP
" We have a pulse."

Shinji slowly opened his eyes and shut this as a harsh white light just about burnt his eyes out of his skull.

" What the fuck?!?!?!?! " Shinji thought to himself as he squinted his eyes open and found himself staring at an all to familiar ceiling.

" Shinji thank god your all right! " Misato gasped as she saw Shinji's eye's slowly open as the heart monitor's beeping grow steadier and steadier with each passing moment.

" Where am I? " Shinji rasped as his eyes and mind began to slowly take in more and more of his surroundings, he could see a very relieved looking Misato who was almost standing over him, he slowly turned his head to the right and saw Rei who was sitting in a chair and staring at him with that same doll like expression on her face that he had always known her to have when ever they met and standing behind her was his father with an equally dispassionate look on his face and Shinji could see in his eyes that there was no love there what so ever.

" Your in the hospital you have been in a coma for a week, baka. " an familiar grating voice called out from his left and when he looked over towards the voice he saw Asuka sitting in a chair to his left with a sneer on her face.

" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "

Shinji howled as the realization of what he had just experienced before he found himself in a Nerv hospital room had been nothing more then a wishful dream and began to trash around as his howling of despair as he was tormented by a cruel and unforgiving fate.

For a moment no one moved then Misato grabbed the wildly flailing Shinji by the shoulders in order to restrain him before he ended up hurting himself any worse then he was.
Suddenly Shinji stopped thrashing around like a gut shot hog and he smiled at Misato who's eyes grew wide in shock that the sight of the calm and almost serene smile on Shinji's face then Shinji tapped into the last of his waning strength and lunged forward as he reached for Misato who was leaning over him as she sought to restrain him.
Misato who thought Shinji was reaching to let go of Shinji and was taking a step back when she saw that Shinji had not been reaching for her breasts but for the 9mm pistol that he was wearing in a holster under her left arm, everyone else that was in the room when on there feet unsure as what to do, they all had seen what had happened when Shinji made his move.

But before anyone could do or say a thing there was a loud click fallowed by an ear shattering bang.

The 9mm hollow point round slammed into Shinji's forehead and his brains where splattered across the pillow and headboard of the hospital bed that he was laying on.

The stunned silence of the hospital room was broken when the smoking 9mm pistol clattered on the floor after it fell from Shinji's dead hand.

Suddenly Asuka began to puke all over the floor, Misato who was no stranger to bloodshed and death was suddenly wishing for nothing more then a two thousand gallon IV dip of beer as her eyes began to mist up as the hellish image of Shinji's blood and brain covered smiling face was forever burned into her mind.

Rei felt something wet roll down one of her pale cheeks, slowly she reached up with a trembling hand and when she drew it back Rei saw that the tips of her fingers when covered in what looked to be water then it sunk in that what she was looking at was a tear that was soon fallowed by more of them as she experienced her first true human emotion, that of heart wrenching, soul crushing sorrow.

Gendo looked down at the body of his dead son and felt a profound sense of disgusted disappointment as he wondered yet agin how could such a spineless worm that had been Shinji come from his seed.

The piecing scream of the angel attack siren snapped them out of there dark thoughts and feelings and the words " Well we're fucked now! " was uttered by four different voices.

Dimly each of the doomed humans and one human/angel hybrid in the hospital room could hear the torment screams of the quiet recently departed Shinji Ikari who had front row seats to the horror of humanity's last few hours.

The End

Posted: 2004-05-19 12:57am
by Sarevok
It is a good story.

Posted: 2004-05-19 12:58am
by Shinova
As I said in the other forum, I think it's great! :D


Everything just fits, the characters' reactions I mean. And it really takes the "Shinji is an angst-ridden pussy" to great lengths. :mrgreen:

Posted: 2004-05-19 01:04am
by LT.Hit-Man
evilcat4000 wrote:It is a good story.
It could have been better but I am glad you liked it

Posted: 2004-05-19 01:15am
by Kuja
That's fucking hilarious! :lol:

LT, I like the timing in it. Everything's great for Shinji, and I'm going WTF...and then it all comes crashing down. OMG I love it. :lol:

Posted: 2004-05-19 01:22am
by LT.Hit-Man
Kuja wrote:That's fucking hilarious! :lol:

LT, I like the timing in it. Everything's great for Shinji, and I'm going WTF...and then it all comes crashing down. OMG I love it. :lol:

Gald you enjoyed it, it's funny I have never seen Eva before, I read an eva fic and started reading a few more then one I said fuck and started working on this fic, I hate shinji he such a pussy ass wimp I just had to put a beat down on him.

Posted: 2004-05-19 02:07pm
by Einhander Sn0m4n
ROFLMAO!!!!

I await Spanky's reaction...

Posted: 2004-05-19 02:15pm
by fgalkin
L.T., did anyone tell that you are truly evil? :P

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Posted: 2004-05-19 09:38pm
by Spanky The Dolphin
My reaction is pretty much the same as it was in the Guild.

Mmh, just an anit-fic...

I didn't like it.

Try actually watching Eva sometime.

Posted: 2004-05-19 09:59pm
by LT.Hit-Man
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:My reaction is pretty much the same as it was in the Guild.

Mmh, just an anit-fic...

I didn't like it.

Try actually watching Eva sometime.
I will when I get the chance but with the way my life's been I have not had the time or the $$$ to do so but once to I do see it I'm sure I'll be able to make a realy good Eva fic, I did this just for a laugh and a half.
Right now I can't say I like the Shinji charicter to much of a pussy ass whiner as far as I can tell.