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My attempt at poetry
Posted: 2004-07-01 11:24am
by Gandalf
A cool winter's morn, the situation was horrific
You approached out of the blue, your words an aura of hope
"Join with me, be with me." This sounded terrific.
At first it was strained
It could end any minute
But we fought, got along and together we gained
Our potential was infinite
So the seasons passed
Autumn, winter and spring
And we were having a blast
But then there was a thing
I saw you with him, your new bedfellow
The situation turn to dust
It seemed all our gains had been in vain
Lost in your newfound lust
This treachery has no name
No way to prepare
It came upon us silently
With nothing like a fanfare
That day our love ended
My feelings turned to rage
I turned off my heart
And began to turn the page
I've been working on this for a while, it's the culmination of a lot of thoughts.
Enjoy, and be gentle in criticism.
Re: My attempt at poetry
Posted: 2004-07-01 11:36pm
by Techno_Union
That acutaly brought a tear to my eye.
Your atempt was... incredible... I don't know what to say... I can actualy relate...
Job well done.
Posted: 2004-07-02 12:18am
by Gandalf
Wow, thanks TU.
Posted: 2004-07-10 06:49am
by jenat-lai
This is a better discription of what happened to me and Cle than what I wrote about me and cle when it happened. Actually going back I think that poem I wrote for cle was misplaced emotion for ephant.
<edit>
actually yes it is. now that I think about it.
It's amazing, since Visiting John Merchant I have given my permission to go back and examine events and then experience and deal with the emotions those events created. I have given myself permission to FEEL EMOTIONS. I am still amazing myself at how different the world feels now.
Re: My attempt at poetry
Posted: 2004-07-10 11:06am
by CrimsonRaine
Gandalf wrote:<snip>
I'm an English major, so I won't use that side of my brain.
This is definately a poem of passion and those are certainly the best. You bring out a lot of emotions, a lot of feelings and that is one of poetry's best uses.
Good start!
Raine
Posted: 2004-09-30 04:41pm
by Lindar
*claps* Are you going to write more poetry? The rhyme scheme you had (though not through out) Impressed me.
Forgive me for posting so late, but I am reading as I go after all, and poetry is always refreshing(I'm a little biased in favor of it actually heh)