StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Punctuation errors are intentional. Read it as if you were watching it dubbed.


Sujiri Ugamo ep.I

I am Sujiri Ugamo. I come from a small village in Naji called Jijiro. This is my story.

When I was but a small child, my village was destroyed by the army of the demon king Kugami. He raised his vast undead armies from the dead of battles of long ago. They swept through town like an evil wind, killing everyone and burning the entire thing to the ground. I alone escaped the massacre. I ran from my home as fast as my legs would carry me. in the forest I happened upon an old man sitting by a stream. He would become my mentor in the years ahead. as I sought vengance for the destruction of my village!

Mister?

Mmm? Oh it is you, Sujuri. I wondered when you would come to see me. I have been expecting you.

ehh?

Yes. you may not know it, but I have been watching you ever since you were born you have inside you a great power though you may not realize it yet being so young and all.

ahh!

Yes. That is correct I know what you are thinkging you are thinking that this cannot be possible for you have never seen me before in your entire life but I assure you it is quite the truth.

uh!

Come, Sujuri, I will take you to my cabin and we will have some tea. I will tell you more then.

Eh?

As the two walk through the forest, they talk about nothing in particular. Mostly just taking in the scenery and listening to the birds. Suddenly from behind a large tree two undead samurai step out, weapons drawn.

HEH HEH! WELL, OLD MAN SEEMS WE'VE FOUND YOU AT LAST! LORD UGAMA WILL BE VERY PLEASED WITH US! HEH!

*the old man looks down* You do not know what you are doing. I am Yodiro Uhagi, monk of the Red Lotus Dragon Sushi clan 7 and his name is Kugami.

HA! WE DON'T CARE WHAT DRAGON YOU BELONG TO! YOU'RE OURS NOW! *glances over to his cohort* Heh. This old man doesn't know what he's in for, heh.

The undead samurai advance, swords drawn, eyes glowing menacingly.

The old man immediately sprang into action, a whorl of fists and feet. knocking both of the samurai back into a tree. I, myself, hid in a shrub nearby.

ERRRRRR! *throws his companion off of him*

ow! dont push me!

THAT'S DOES IT OLD MAN, NOW WE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY SERIOUS! heh heh!

Oh? Then let's get serious.*close up of the old mans smirking face*

KEEEEEEE RAAAAAAH SOOOOOOO JUUUUUUU HIIIIIIIIIIII ROOOOOOOO POOOOOOILLLLLLLL RAAAAAA TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*samurais look at each other. One raises an eyebrow*

ROOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO JIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMM BOOOOOOOOOO SHUUUUUUUUUUUUU LIIIIIIIIIIIIII ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FLAAAAAAAAAA
*man begins to glow, cut to samurai staring at the man, arms down at their side*

TIIIIIIIIIIII KOOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUU FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

*Cut to samurai lying on the ground, asleep, spooning each other as they slumber*

KAAAAAAAAAA JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The old man flung his arms outward, a beam of energy no wider than a pencil shot forth. The old man flailed about madly, as if in a drunken fervor.

ALHBALABHBLBHBLAALBHLBHAABLABHLAAHALABHBALBAHABABLBAAHABLBHBLABLBA

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the man stopped.

Samurai stand staring, motionless before falling apart into a million pieces, diced by the mans power beam.

Ahh!

Yes, Sujiri. I know. You will learn to do that as well for I feel the fire of vengence inside of you. I will teach all of this and more but first Heh. Tea. Let us continue to my cabin.

Ohh!

We arrived at the cabin, a deer grazed in the front yeard. It did not seem alarmed by our presence. the old man reached into his robe and pulled forth a handful of grain holding it out for the deer, who eagerly ate it from his palm. We walked inside to a neatly, but sparsely decorated room where there was a table in the middle of the floor, with two cups and a pot of tea on it.

Sit, Sujiri.

Ahh...oh...

I sat down at the table and the man poured me some tea. as he prepared to speak, he seemed distracted about something. *Cut to close up of the old monk's face* Glancing over his shoulder, he jumped up from the table, striking a fighting stance. A huge panda fell through the thin paper door which led into the kitchen.

Err. You are in the wrong place, Panda bear.

Durr? Hurrrr....

Yes. Get out, please.

Arrr....

As quickly as the panda fell through the door, a strange old man burst through the front door, dragging a clothesline behind him; the clothesline had women's undergarments on it! The panda jumped up, scowled and charged the man with the clothesline. I had never seen a human move so fast before as that small man with a clothesline. and who knew pandas could walk on two feet? Let alone run! But the panda gave chase and soon all was quiet.

Ahh!

Yes, I know. this is a strange forest. one never knows what one may find. Where was I? Oh yes. *man sits back down and begins to sip tea, his eyes closed, for some reason*

Now, Sujiri, as I have said I have been watching you since you were a baby. You are destined to be a member of the Red Lotus Dragon Sushi clan 7, as your father was before you, though we did not think you would be ready until you were much older but no matter, because we will begin training you now you will be the master to end all masters!

Ohhhh!

Yes, Sujiri! That is right! you will surpass even my level of power in your quest for vengence upon the armies of Kagami. Let me see where to start. Heh. your father was a monk of the Red Lotus Dragon Sushi clan 7, and was a great warrior. He fought against the uprising of Gujiro the mad, Biri-biri, and Golandor in fact, he was personally responsible for single handedly destroying Golandor. Because his other hand had a papercut but that is not important now what is important is that you have this power inside you as well and I will teach you to use it, heh.

Eh?!

You are right, Sujiri. your road will be long and hard but you can do it I know you can! Heh. For now I will tell you that you can call me Master Han and right now you need to get some sleep for you have had a rough day having had your village destroyed and all. Heh.

Oh....

Your room will be over there and you will find clothes waiting for you in the morning. we will begin training at that time but not sooner for you are tired.

uhh....

I walked into the room he had pointed out, which oddly I thought wasn't even there before, but I was not going to question it. I lay down on the pallet and almost immediately fell asleep. He must have put something in the tea. I remember thinking to myself what a tragic and amazing day it had been hat with my village being destroyed and my family all killed and meeting this strange man and the samurai in the forest and the deer and the panda chasing the old man with a clothesline full of women's undergarments and all. I wondered what tomorrow could possibly hold...

I awoke early in the morning to find it crisp and cool. The old man was in the yard of the house, meditating, I saw, from the window. there was a ghi waiting for me on the table. I put on the ghi and tied the red belt tight around my waist. After placing the ghi on, I walked out into the yard behind the old man. but he apprently knew I was coming! Before I even got close he began to speak.

Good morning Sujiri.

Ehh?

Yes, Sujiri I knew you were awake I could hear you getting dressed it is simply one of the powers I have.

ohh....[/red]

Perhaps introductions are in order.

mmmh...

I am Yodiro Uhagi, master monk of the Red Lotus Dragon Sushi Clan 7. your village has been destroyed and you it's only survivor. I am taking you in to train you in the ways of the Red Lotus so that you may exact revenge against those that wronged you.

ahhh

as you are already quite skilled in the Martial Arts, I know this from watching you all those years, heh. I will pit you against one of our best students, Jimbo I want to see how well you do, Hrrm!

With that, I felt something approach from behind me. It was a fist! It hit me squarely in the center of my back, laying me flat out!

AUUGH!

Heh! Master Yodiro said you were good. If you really were good, you'd have known that was coming heh! I'm an american martial artist and I'm going to be the Red Lotus master, not you, heh Well, come on, get up and fight me come on, let's fight!*Strikes stance of the crab*

uhhh...

*legs spread wide as if straddling a horse, arms held aloft, held bent at a 90 degree angle, hands in the shape of claws snapping, Jimbo darts this way and that, making various feints towards Sujiri*

ahh! *Sujiri strikes Dragon one pose* (think sub zero from mortal kombat: DA

RRRRRAGH! CRAAAAAAAAAB CLAWWWWWW REVENNNNNGE STRIIIIIIIIIIIKE!

*Jimbo rears back far with his right hand, then thrusts forward to Sujiri's face. Sujiri deftly sidesteps the attack, giving Jimbo a sound roundhouse to the back, sending him flailing*

AHH!

heh. You're not bad. *looks downward* too bad that was one of my weakest moves now you will feel the.....

*jimbo strikes flying wasp pose*

STING OF THE WASP! YYYYYYAUGH!

*Jimbo connects soundly with wasp sting attack, sending Sujiri to the floor, clutching his gut in pain. Above his head, as he lay on the ground, numbers appear*

*12*

Eh? Oh!

Heh. didn't like that too much did ya, well I got plenty more!

*sujiri rises, still clutching his gut, back to Jimbo. his open hands slowly form fists, which begin to whiten with tightness*

FURY OF THE GREEN HYDRA!!!!!!!!!

*jimbo's eyes widen as Sujiri becomes a whorl of fists and feet. Caught off guard while gloating, Sujiri lands blow after blow upon his Rival, pummeling him without mercy. After each blow numbers appear over Jimbo's head*

*7*
*2*
*3*
*5*
*10*
*2*
*2*
*7*
*3*
*1*
*9*
*4*

*And the final blow lands, a furious backhand strike to Jimbo's left cheek...*

*23*

*Knocking jimbo backwards into a tree, where he falls to a sitting position, unconcious*


Master Yodiro thinks to himself:
Hmm. Sujiri knows Green Hydra, his father has taught him well, heh. I need only to teach him to hone his technique, and power moves as well as that is the only thing that will assure him victory against Kugami.

Heh. Your father taught you well, Sujiri. Green Hydra is only taught to our most advanced students, so you must be very good indeed for him to have taught you Green Hydra at such a young age, heh.

oh, huh?

Yes. Green Hydra is a very advanced technique. Except I noticed your strikes were not in keeping with the technique's basic principles. you see...

Come here, Jimbo.

*Jimbo rises, limping over to Master Yodiro, still clutching his side*

You struck here..*slaps Jimbo in the face*
here...*Slps jimbo's chest*

and kicked here...*sweep kicks jimbo, knocking him to the floor. master Yodiro quickly grabs jimbo by the scruff of the neck, picking him up. Jimbo's arms hang limply, his head lolls to one side*

When the primary disabling points are here...*slaps jimbo a little higher up on his cheek*
here...*ridgehand's jimbo in the solar plexus*
and kicking here...*dropkicks Jimbo in the chest, causing Jimbo, once again, to fly backwards into a tree*

Why did you not use those points?

*Sujiri stares blankly*

uhhh..

Huh? Oh! I see.... your father never taught you any of this, did he? you simply learned by watching him practice and meditate. he probably did not want you involved with the Red Lotus Dragon Clan 7 as he was before you but he was a great master and all sons of great masters are destined to become even greater masters until one son reaches the final power stage of great greatest high grand lotus, only then will the hand of the dragon be lifted and the sons of the masters be free to seek their own destiny. So you see, Sujiri, it is your destiny to be here right now heh.

ahh...

It is unfortunate that your father did not begin your training, because now we have to start from sctratch and that will make it more difficult, very well your first move will be jumping monkey, take your stance....


And so my first day of training began. I had indeed learned the moves I know by watch my father practice, so my technique was all wrong, and Master Yodiro had to drill new stances, basic moves and other things into me. Jimbo joined us that day for training, but he could not do much after the pummelling he sustained at the hands of master Yodiro. The day ended cool and damp, and I quickly fell asleep, wonde3ring what tomorrow would hold.....

Its the samurai sleeping in the spoon position that does it for me.

At least SOMEone reads my parody. More to come. Twists abound!

That was good clean (well compared to UPF) fun. Good job.