StarDestroyer.Net BBS

You can snag it here:

http://www.galactec.com/neolith/index.php3?code=PI08

If you like it, let me know!

aronkerkhof wrote:You can snag it here:

http://www.galactec.com/neolith/index.php3?code=PI08

If you like it, let me know!

Really nice story ! I hope we will see more soon...

Ooh, and without almost a years wait!

aronkerkhof wrote:You can snag it here:

http://www.galactec.com/neolith/index.php3?code=PI08

If you like it, let me know!

Once more you bring us the goods.

I see you're going for scene setting here after the action of the last chapter. Just out of interest, were you struggling with the beginning of this chapter? Vader sounded slightly off in the first couple of Paragraphs.

also "His head swiveled around as he scanned the small landing pad he'd sat down on." did you mean his shuttle had sat down on? I just had this picture of Vader in a recliner in the middle of the Landing pad when I first read that.

And more from the fabulously curvy HRD too.

Struggling? Well, its always a struggle to write the "connecting" chapters, where I know where I have to go from here, make sure I don't forget anything, and don't have any real action set pieces to move things along.

But yeah, it is hard writing dialogue for Vader sometimes, because he doesn't have a lot of it in the original trilogy, if you think about it. And when he does speak, its usually in cool quotable one-liners. Basically, I don't think Vader thinks he's evil, so its sometimes tough to pass off noble sounding stuff for him. It passed my wife's laugh test, so I released it.

You are correct, I had a few paragraphs describing his landing and whatnot, but it got cut to make things snapier. Already too much talking in this chapter. So he's on some sort of shuttle pad, and he just set down on it. Yeah.

And Guri will be figuring (heh) heavily into the cast of characters and the plot of things to come. I like her because she's a blank slate for us. We know she likes challenges, she's bad ass, and she's beautiful, but that's about it. I also like her potential with interaction with the rest of the cast.

Glad you liked it. Nine will be out soon, and we'll get the first taste o' trek.

aronkerkhof wrote:Glad you liked it. Nine will be out soon, and we'll get the first taste o' trek.

Kim: "Sir, we're ready to enter the Wormhole."

Adm Janeway: "I'll tell you when it's crunch-time Ensign Kim... Ack, urrrgh" *Pop,Snap,Crunch*

Vader: "You've failed me for the last time Admiral Janeway, you are in command now" *thud* "Admiral Kim."

Adm Kim: "A promotion! Yeeeeehaaa, wait til I tell mom and pop. Lt Paris set a course for the wormhole, Tuvok clear this dead cow off my bridge; then head down to the Gym and escort the Delany twins to my quarters."

go on, you know you want to

Anyway I'm looking forward to it (even if Janeway doesn't die)