Star Trek - The Temporal Wars
Posted: 2005-02-20 09:18am
Nevermind - The Fan Fiction is Crap...
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Star Trek - The Temporal Wars
http://stardestroyer.dyndns-home.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=63013
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Posted: 2005-02-20 09:19am
Nevermind - The Fan Fiction is Crap...
Posted: 2005-02-20 09:21am
Nevermind - The Fan Fiction is Crap...
Posted: 2005-02-20 09:24am
Nevermind - The Fan Fiction is Crap...
Posted: 2005-03-01 10:52am
I like it, post more! I would post more, but I am about to head off, so ill post more stuff tonight 
Posted: 2005-03-24 01:46pm
Nevermind - The Fan Fiction is Crap...
Posted: 2005-03-24 11:56pm
Knowing this board if it was a bad story you'd get a ton of replies saying something in the vein of "THIS SUCKS!"atomic danny wrote:201 Views and only one reply, i didn't realise it was that bad
Posted: 2005-03-25 02:31am
I personally find the story rather hard to read with the way you change from present to past tense in the same sentence. Also, you tend to be repeat information that you don't need to. For example, in the first chapter, you spend a couple of paragraphs telling what the USS Sovereign found during it's mission. Then you go to the captain repeating the same information into her log.
On the other hand, it seems like an interesting premise. With some editing, it could be a good story.
On the other hand, it seems like an interesting premise. With some editing, it could be a good story.
Posted: 2005-03-25 04:58am
True, though to be honest i was expecting more of the lines of being to generous to Star Trek (since apparently the power of a photon torpedo is accepted here as 0.675 tonnes or something similar)Junghalli wrote:Knowing this board if it was a bad story you'd get a ton of replies saying something in the vein of "THIS SUCKS!"
its that bad, is this in all of the chapters?(or in is it in every sentence?) looks like i might as well rewrite most of the chaptersSabastian Tombs wrote:I personally find the story rather hard to read with the way you change from present to past tense in the same sentence. Also, you tend to be repeat information that you don't need to. For example, in the first chapter, you spend a couple of paragraphs telling what the USS Sovereign found during it's mission. Then you go to the captain repeating the same information into her log.
On the other hand, it seems like an interesting premise. With some editing, it could be a good story.
(and removing a lot of the repeated parts) Though as for the Captains log, you would expect the captain to say whats on her mind though wouldn't you? Though thanks for the nice part at the end edit- i've updated chapter one, and altered the part you mentioned. Its still not very good (since this was my first fan fiction
), though i think i've changed it enough so that it removes part of the repeated parts. Though what would you suggest? I re-write the parts that are "repeated" or re-write all of it