First Strike: B5/Trek

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Alexus
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First Strike: B5/Trek

Post by Alexus »

Note: I worked it out. B5 hyperspace is about twice as fast as warp 9.6.
Note 2: This Federation is an alternate universe where they are more... aggressive.

---------------FIRST STRIKE---------------
-----------Prologue-----------

IAS EXCALIBUR

The IAS Excalibur soared through space, a gleaming instrument of death, two kilometres long. It headed straight for an empty stretch of space; no stars were visible in a twenty kilometre wide area.

On the Excalibur's bridge captain Matthew Gideon stared intently at the viewscreen.

"Got that scanning data?" he asked Lieutenant Matheson.

"It's like a Drakh Null Field but it seems to be different somehow," came the reply, "The probes we sent through managed to get a few pictures back; I have them here."

Gideon studied the pictures. This was worrying. A dozen or so strangely designed starships were all clustered together facing the probe.

"Any more pictures?"

"No sir."

"Dammit," said Gideon, "We need some intel. Who are these people? We need to know if we should get reinforcements from Earth. They'll take three days to get here."

Matheson looked out of the viewport for a few seconds.

"We could send in a Thunderbolt 'fury." he said, eventually.

"Do it."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IFS TERROR, FORMERLY 'ENTERPRISE'

Admiral Janeway stood on the bridge of her mighty sovereign class ship. To her left and right the best conscripts worked to glean every bit of information from the null-field spread out in front of her.

"Admiral?" came a voice behind her. Janeway turned to face the speaker.

"What is it, Ensign?"

Ensign Riker swallowed. "There's a disturbance in the null-field, sir," he said, "Something is about to come through."

Just after he said that, something came through.

IAS EXCALIBUR

"We're getting data from the 'fury." said Matheson, staring down at a screen.

"Put it on the main screen." said Gideon.

TWELVE SHIPS IDENTIFIED
ALL BETWEEN 350 - 680 METRES IN LENGTH
SCANNING HULL MARKINGS..... RESULTS FOLLOW:
IFS TERROR
IFS HARBRINGER
IFS EMPIRE
IFS DEATHBR-

The feed cut out in an instant.

IFS TERROR - FORMERLY 'ENTERPRISE'

Janeway looked down out the sensor data.

"A millitary vessel. Send to commander starfleet. 'Military space vehicle sent through null-field. Threat to holdings of Federation Empire. Sending through task force. Ready fleet for full scale invasion.' "

She stalked over to the command chair. Sat in it.

"Take us in."

The task force sailed into the null field.

IAS EXCALIBUR

Matheson looked up from the sensor screen.

"Oh shit." he said, "We're in trouble now."

----------------------------------FIRST STRIKE----------------------------------
-----Chapter One-----

IAS EXCALIBUR

"How many?" said Gideon as the bridge was filled with crewmen and marines.

"Twelve, repeat twelve ships on attack vector. Three are coming ahead of the main group." replied Matheson.

Gideon looked out at the approaching ships.

"They want to gauge our strength. All pulse cannons target the centre ship. Fire."

The mighty starship opened up with its wing mounted pulse cannons. The blue pulses tracked for a second and hit the ship in the middle of the formation, an aging ambassador class vessel. After ten seconds of heavy fire it exploded.

The rest of the Federation ships flew forward at full speed, firing their phasers. The yellow beams impacted on the Excalibur's crystalline/polymer armour, leaving a small scorch mark. Turret mounted triple fusion cannons fired, nailing a saber class ship.

IFS TERROR -- FORMERLY 'ENTERPRISE'

Admiral Janeway smashed her hand against the command chair panel.

"I want two nebulas to take point. They are to fire photon torpedoes at that... thing. All other ships are to prepare for a coordinated phaser strike on the forward weapons pod.

Two nebula class ships soared forward, firing torpedoes. The multi-kiloton weapons impacted on the cylindrical 'neck of the victory, allowing most of their energy to escape into space.

IAS EXCALIBUR

The bridge shook as strange glowing objects smashed into the Excalibur, scooping five metre craters into the thick armour.

"What the hell were those things?" shouted Gideon.

"I think it's meant to be a torpedo of some kind." replied Matheson.

"Glowing torpedoes? What a -" he was cut off by another three torpedoes hitting the hull. The nebulas sailed round for another pass as the other eight ships flew in. One was disabled by the turret cannons and pulse guns - holes were blown in its strange oval shaped primary hull.

The remaining Federation ships all fired their phasers on the forward weapons pod, burning through a metre of the armour but not starting a chain reaction.

Forty-seven thunderbolt starfuries roared out of the Excalibur's hangar and the battle became a furious melee, pulse cannon blasts and phaser beams filling the space around the ship.

Image


The Excalibur was holding her own; the Federation fleet had lost five ships and the scattered phaser fire caused by the sudden fighter attack was merely scorching the thick armour of the Interstellar Alliance's flagship.

Onboard the Terror Janeway was getting angry. She watched as an Akira class ship was pierced by the powerful cannons on the Excalibur's nose.

"Stay away from the main guns!" she shouted, angrily. Her ship shuddered from another burst of pulse cannon fire, but the shields held.

Janeway noticed what could be a control centre. It stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Phasers-" she started saying but a fusion beam hit cut her off. The ventral quantum torpedo launcher was burned off in a second by the multi-kiloton beams.

"Get those shields back!" she cried.

Out in space the battle was almost over. The Thunderbolt attack had left the Federation fleet off guard as none of their many, many enemies had ever used them. The Excalibur was scorched and had lost two pulse cannon emplacements but it kept going.

"Useless scum." Janeway whispred. She pointed at the Excalibur. "Ramming speed!" she barked to the helmsman.

The 680 metre ship accelerated to an astonishing 300 metres a second. The Excalibur turned to face it.

IAS EXCALIBUR

Gideon turned to the weapons control officer.

"Ready main guns... fire."

The invincible Quantum Gravitic Discharge Cannon fired, swallowing the sovereign class ship. After a ten seconds it cut out, reavealing nothing, not even wreckage.

"Report." sighed Gideon.

"Thirty-four Starfuries down... hull breaches on decks 23, 24, 25... two pulse cannon batteries destroyed. It's lucky the commander of that fleet didn't seem to have any grasp of tactics."

"Hmm... call Earth. We'll need a fleet here, pronto. And tell the fighters to come home."

The bridge crew cheered. Gideon however was silent. He knew more would come.

Much more.


--------FIRST STRIKE--------
----Chapter Two----

Gideon stared intently at the null field twenty kilometres ahead of Excalibur. He knew the enemy ships would be back. A lot more of them.

Earthforce had scraped together close to a hundred ships; mostly Omega class destroyers and Hyperions, with a few Warlocks. The question was, would it be enough?

Matheson's panel beeped.

"Here they come." he said.

Dozens of Saber class ships came roaring out of the null field, which quickly became a killing zone. Omegas could take out the smaller ships with a single alpha strike, but it was not enough. Several flew off to the side, the plasma cannons tracking them. This allowed Akira and Intrepid class ships to engage the destroyers.

Image

Hundreds of Thunderbolt Starfuries roared forward and began a furious dogfight with Peregrine fighters. Dozens more Federation ships came pouring through the null field, firing half megaton photon torpedoes into the exposed bays of Omegas.

Excalibur took a hit to the top engine pod and the ship rocked. Gatling pulse cannons returned fire, tearing through the saucer section of a Galaxy class and sending it smashing into a Hyperion.

"How many ships have we lost?" shouted Gideon over the klaxons.

"We have lost thirty-two Omegas, twelve Hyperions and sixty-one starfuries. The enemy has lost forty of their 'saber' class, three 'Ambassador' class, Twelve 'Galaxy' class, six 'Sovereign' class and nineteen 'Akira' class vessels."

Outside the battle was not going well for Earthforce. The last thirty ships clustered together, twelve Omegas, fifteen Hyperions, two Warlocks and the Excalibur.

After five attack runs their numbers had been almost halved. The Federation had won this day. Hundreds more ships came out of the null field. The Earthforce fleet opened jump points and sixteen ships out of eighty nine escaped the Battle.

Onboard Excalibur Gideon beat the bridge rail with his fist. Over seventy ships lost. Tens of thousands of lives lost.

There was a beep from the intercom.

"Captain Gideon, we need you down in the shuttlebay. We picked up an escape pod just before jumping."

Gideon sighed. "And..?"

"It's not one of ours, sir."

Matheson looked up at Gideon, shocked.

"I'll be right down." said Gideon. He ran to the lift.

They had just managed to open the pod when Gideon arrived. A man emerged in a strange uniform. Gideo ran up to him and smacked his head against the pod.

"You bastard! How dare you come onboard my ship!" he shouted, filled with rage. He pressed his PPG to the man's forehead. So many dead. So many.

"No!" cried the officer. Gideon could see the fear in his eyes.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." said Gideon with low menace.

"I'm not one of them! I'm not! I want to defect! Please!" the man was almost in tears.

Matheson came in running. He stared at the officer for a few seconds.

"He's telling the truth." he said.

Gideon let the man drop to the floor.

"Put him in some quarters," he said. "I'm going to get some rest."
Last edited by Alexus on 2005-03-20 09:23am, edited 4 times in total.
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Darth Fanboy
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Post by Darth Fanboy »

First of all i'd like to see you TRY and bleed me like a stuck pig.

Secondly I see you have a thread for each of the chapters you've finished, unless there's some extenuationg circumstance I don't know about you should try to keep all you chapters in the same thread (ideally) Or at least provide a link to the previous chapter(s). Makes for easier reviewing, if you get up to five or six chapters its not going to be any fun to scour through the forum looking fo rthe other ones.

Okay now for der fic. So far you've done two 'chapters' and all you've done is depict battle scenarios accompanies by pictures. These chapters are also extremely short. I think it would be nice if you developed the plot a lot more, or at least make these things longer, I think your dialogue needs some work too.
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Alexus
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Post by Alexus »

I'm just warming up.
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Post by Alexus »

Edit: I added a plot and some ambiguity.
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Post by Kruk »

I agree with DF. First battle could be a start and stay so - as a pure battle description. But reading only battles is boring. Just so. Try some interactions, describe some characters etc.

Even build one main character (some captain or admiral) a tell the story from his point of view - but dont write only battles.
[quote:c986e33691]Comparing and basing weapons strengths based on movie special effects isn't an accurate way of judging firepower. Simply because those effects are the results of what the producers and directors want to see on screen.[/quote:c986e33691]
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Alexus
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Post by Alexus »

Kids, that's what happens when you write with a fever and headache. Urrgh.
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Post by Darth Fanboy »

Alexus wrote:Kids, that's what happens when you write with a fever and headache. Urrgh.
Make all the excuses you want, if that really is the case then you should just wait until you are feeling better to write it or at least wait until you are feeling better and then edit it. It seems to me like yer spending more time on the pictures than the writing.
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)

"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
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Alexus
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Post by Alexus »

It seems to me like yer spending more time on the pictures than the writing.
*cough cough*
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Post by Hitch Hiker »

i liked it. battles are more fun then what can sometimes be boring plot lines and charater building. keep up the gd wrk. :)
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Post by Sharpshooter »

Well...ah, hmm...

Well, I guess it's, ah...oh, how the Hell do I say it?

It was sort of an interesting read, but one of the things that really irked me is that iseems so dry. It seems rather blunt, direct, to the point - there's no elaboration, no reflection, it's just out-and-out blueprinting, and it leaves me rather thirsty. Where is the art of battle, of the body and soul?

I read this, and while I know of some of the characters, even then, it's as if I don't know them. The body is there, but the presence is gone - it's nothing more than an empty vessel, nay, a puppet, acting out, but lacking spirit. Actions seem rigid, scripted, the thoughts and emotions too commonplace - where is personality, individuality?

What has brought these two forces together in such a manner? Is it an act of forces beyond mortal comprehension, or tinkering with forces which man ought not meddle with? Why was combat the first and only choice when each side knew not of the other, where a communique woul have spared so many and set in motion further events of interest to the reader?

I must agree with Darth Fanboy in that you appear to be focusing far too much upon the use of visuals in order to convey your story - though a picture may be worth a thousand words, it cannot always replace them. Let go of your skills with the brush, and devote yourself instead to crafting a picture from words alone, where the mind's eye may frolic and true enjoymnt may be had.
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Alexus
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Post by Alexus »

Wow... I ... don't know what to say... sir, you are an eloquent writer. Very eloquent.
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