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star trek: rebellion

Posted: 2002-11-22 11:08am
by FBHthelizardmage
OOC this is one of my first fan fics (and my first star trek/ star wars one) I'm also dyslexic so bear with my spelling.

star wars galaxy soon after the destruction of the first death star
The Rebellion Battle cruiser Lost Dawn shuddered under the storm of turbo laser hits, alarms wailed as the shields and hull armour continued to take a beating.

Antara Xel, captain in the rebel alliance fleet look at the sensor display and despaired.

The lost dawn a Mon Cal design had been on its way to one of the new rebel bases that had sprung up in the wake of the evacuation of Yavin.

Then while doing one of the number of course corrections in real space that were required to hid the bases location from the imperials, they had been jumped by six imperial heavy cruisers and an interdictor.
Against any one, any two, of the enemy ships lost dawn could have triumph but against six? No way. They were doomed.

"captain." she turned to look at her tactical officer. " there may be a way out of this. Our last salvo crippled the engines on the cruiser between us and the interdictor. if we can get past them..." hope blossomed in Antara's heart maybe they could make it out of this after all. "Do it. Tell the star fighters to say close, I don't want any one left behind."

the Rebel ship hurled its self towards the stricken imperial vessel its turbo lasers and concussion missile launchers lancing a steady stream of fire into the badly damage enemy. as shield failed X wings moved in for a strafe strafing run.

The crippled vessel began to suffer internal explosions as the Star fighters picked at it with lasers and photon torps. mean time the lost dawn bore down on the now frantically dodging interdictor beams slammed out to smash at the ships shields and armour. one concussion missile by luck or the skill of the gunner entered the ships internals through a hole punched by turbo laser fire the detonation vaporized most of the hyper drive and gravity well generators unleashing the forces contained within. the resulting interaction produced some very interesting effects.

Hawking system Cardassian/ Federation DMZ

Michael Durrent swore as the federation star ship swung its self from behind the colonies moon.
He swore again more colorfully as a second ship, a Cardassian Galor class dropped from warp behind.
A half dozen run abouts lifted from sights on the planets surface to close the trap completely.

"Marquis vessels you are in volition of federation and Cardassian law including article 612 of the federation penal code. If you do not lower your shield and surrender, you will be fired on. This is your only warning. "

"typical long winded star fleet Arse holes." his co polite a Bajorian man in his early middle age commented as Michael swung the fighter on to a
course which would take them between the convoy and the federation vessel.

Hawkins colony was a fairly major marquis base with a population of about 200. unfortunately the colony had suffered a resent out break of a
particularly virulent native disease. though star fleet provided medical supplies for those colonists they new about the Marquis couldn't exactly ask them for help. Not if they wanted to stay free.

"escort one to convoy one." Michael commed the convoy command vessel.
"you are to scatter, we will hold the enemy vessels as long as possible come back when they leave. " this probably wasn't the best possible plan but it was the best Michael could come up with on short notice.
"no can do escort one. " the convoys reply sounded strained even over the comm. " there all around us. "
Michael snarled.

"we'll make you a hole convoy one."

"this is escort one to escort alpha wing. break and attack the run abouts i'm painting. he pinged three of the run abouts with his active sensors. "

six fighters broke from there escort formation to swarm in on the three federation shuttles. but even as Michael's fighter followed he saw that it was useless. The Federation star ship moved to cover its stricken companions, a photon torp lashed out blasting one fighter apart with photon torps even as the others aborted there run... Then something big and very strange appeared on his sensors.

The ship was huge. over a kilometer long it was also very tough, it appeared and slammed into and through the Fed ship the detonation of the ships warp core a glare around its shields.

"BY the profits! What the is that?" his copilot exclaimed.
"It looks damage..." the voice was female and came from on the of near by escort fighters. the ship did look damage the hull was scared and atmosphere was leaking from several areas.
"later. We have to get out of this before we can investigate whatever this thing is. all escorts form on me and prepare to make a run on the Galor. "

the Cardassian gunners where to say the least somewhat surprised by the giant ships appearance. there gunnery was not as accurate as it could have been. this was bad for them as each of the 18 fighters launched two photon torps into there ship. shields overloaded and the vessels forward section vanished in a massive Matter anti matter explosion...
TBC

Posted: 2002-11-22 01:13pm
by Andras
Dude, you need an editor

Posted: 2002-11-22 01:25pm
by FBHthelizardmage
Andras wrote:Dude, you need an editor
yep.
Care to volunteer?

Posted: 2002-11-22 03:13pm
by Falkenhorst
I liked your fanfic, but like the fellow said, you should get an editor. I hope to see more soon.

Posted: 2002-11-23 01:48am
by ArmorPierce
not bad from what I read, but don't consider me a reliable source cause I only read like 5 lines and now I need to get some beuty sleep

Posted: 2002-11-23 02:06am
by Kuja
Spellchecker/Grammar check.

Get it. Use it. Love it. Become one of it.

Posted: 2002-11-23 02:19am
by Vympel
IG-88 you're a hypocrite!


Don't you mean become one WITH it :)

Tsk tsk tsk tsk ...... :twisted:

Posted: 2002-11-23 02:21am
by Kuja
No, I said exactly what I meant.

Posted: 2002-11-23 02:22am
by Vympel
IG-88E wrote:No, I said exactly what I meant.
[hong kong kung-fu] NO! You have no honor! [/hong kong kung-fu]

Posted: 2002-11-23 08:50am
by FBHthelizardmage
I got a spell check. some "mistakes" may appear cause I'm using the english spelling. (i'm from the UK) as for grammer.... that is being worked on.

Posted: 2002-11-23 08:58am
by Evil Sadistic Bastard
I can spellcheck pretty well. Hire me! Hire me!

Posted: 2002-11-23 09:41am
by FBHthelizardmage
Evil Sadistic Bastard wrote:I can spellcheck pretty well. Hire me! Hire me!
I'm ok with spelling. english but ok. how are you grammer?

Posted: 2002-11-23 09:44am
by haas mark
FBHthelizardmage wrote:
Evil Sadistic Bastard wrote:I can spellcheck pretty well. Hire me! Hire me!
I'm ok with spelling. english but ok. how are you grammer?
I can do the grammar...let me read thorugh it, first, though.

Posted: 2002-11-23 09:46am
by haas mark
Just read through a litlle more than half of it, and it seems pretty good. I like it, and hope to see more.

Posted: 2002-11-23 09:48am
by FBHthelizardmage
verilon wrote:Just read through a litlle more than half of it, and it seems pretty good. I like it, and hope to see more.
cool. I'm getting slightly worried its to similar to darth wongs current fic. (marquis find star wars ship? :shock: )

Posted: 2002-11-23 09:58am
by Mark S
FBHthelizardmage wrote:
verilon wrote:Just read through a litlle more than half of it, and it seems pretty good. I like it, and hope to see more.
cool. I'm getting slightly worried its to similar to darth wongs current fic. (marquis find star wars ship? :shock: )

It IS a little bit noticable. But there are only so many ways to start a cross over story. I'm sure you guys will diverge soon enough.

*Edit* Oh, good story by the way.

Posted: 2002-11-23 10:12am
by FBHthelizardmage
ok I am about to begin writing part two, any one want to edit it? (I'll need an email adress)

Posted: 2002-11-23 10:14am
by haas mark
FBHthelizardmage wrote:ok I am about to begin writing part two, any one want to edit it? (I'll need an email adress)
jairyn_1@yahoo.com

Posted: 2002-11-23 12:10pm
by FBHthelizardmage
ok providing I haven't messed up my email system then its sent.

Posted: 2002-11-23 12:15pm
by haas mark
FBHthelizardmage wrote:ok providing I haven't messed up my email system then its sent.
Yes, I got it fine.

Posted: 2002-11-25 12:27pm
by haas mark
I will have the edited chapter either sent to you and/or put up tonight, if you don't mind. Sorry it took a while to get to it.

Posted: 2002-11-25 03:53pm
by FBHthelizardmage
thats fine. you can post it here since I may not be back on line for 24 hours.

Posted: 2002-11-25 09:52pm
by Soontir C'boath
Not bad. This could turn out good. I WANT MORE!

Cyaround,
Jason

Posted: 2002-11-25 11:34pm
by haas mark
Soontir C'boath wrote:Not bad. This could turn out good. I WANT MORE!

Cyaround,
Jason
More will be up tonight or tomorrow afternoon, depending on how asleep I am when I get to retyping it up.

Posted: 2002-11-26 12:00am
by Evil Sadistic Bastard
Where's the retyped fic?