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The Jedi's worst fear.

Posted: 2005-06-10 11:54pm
by Drunk Monkey
A Long Time Ago in a galaxy far, far away………


STAR WARS

Episode VII

The Jedi’s worst Fear

By: Mike E Cole

The Jedi knight’s, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy have been protecting the galactic alliance for over 25’000 years since the end of the Vong invasion. Since the end of the invasion the Jedi have hade little to no use to the alliance.

On the capital planet of Courcant, a young padawan named Hercanon Ryedlee, begins his Jedi trials for knight hood. Meanwhile the Onasi Union, a terrorist organization obsessed with reestablishing the ideals of the ancient galactic empire is planning on a strike on the Jedi them selves..


Prelude

On a dark Kashyyyk night a young man of 23, is standing next to the dead, rotting corpse of one of the few people he ever loved. In the boys hands are a purple duel bladed light saber. Upon further inspection of the young women who is dead, it appears she had been stabbed in the gut by a light saber. The women was not only stabbed but raped, this revelation comes from the fact that the women’s trousers have been ripped of, and l of the bruises on her face from being assaulted physically.

“Hercanon”! “Hercanon”!! “Hercanon Ryedlee, wake up this instant, my young padawan”! Young Hercanon is a human boy from Courcant, and future Jedi knight. Today his Jedi trials began. The dark visons that you just saw were Hercanons nightmares. “Hercanan don’t look well have you been dreaming of the Kashyyyk women again” said Jedi master Compaq. Jedi master Compaq was a Chiss whom left his home world at a young age. Compaq was a middle aged Chiss with Red eyes wrinkly blue skin and long red hair. “Yes master Compaq” said Hercanon. Hercanon Ryedlee a human with green eyes, brown hair, and a small medallion around his neck. This medallion was a gift from his mother, and his prized possession. “Well Hercanon you need to stop taking so much stock in those dreams of yours, as a wise Jedi master once said always in motion is the future said Compaq”. Master Compaq was referring to the Jedi master Yoda one of the first Jedi to learn the secret of immortality. “Forget about your dream padawan anly one Jedi has ever been able to predict the future to pin point accuracy, this Jedi is known by two names Anakin Skywalker, and Darth Vader” “come padawan we must go to the Jedi council they wish to administer your final Jedi trials”. “Master Compaq I have a bad feeling about this test”. They then went off to the Jedi temple to see if Hercanon will become a full fledged knight.

Posted: 2005-06-15 12:15am
by LordShaithis
omfg sux

Posted: 2005-06-15 12:23am
by Kuja
Learn some grammar skills.

Posted: 2005-06-15 01:47am
by Battlehymn Republic
You mean skillz.

Posted: 2005-06-15 02:47am
by Angry Dave
Umm... isn't already an episode VII? and VIII? and IX? dumbass.

Posted: 2005-06-15 03:29am
by Einhander Sn0m4n
Jaysus Holy Fucking Shitcock Homosexual Christ... :shock:

The horror...



Drunk Monkey and Angry Dave, you need this like I need oxygen, weed, and a cock up my ass.

Image



And I thought MY lameass attempt at a fic sucked...

Posted: 2005-06-15 03:42am
by CaptainChewbacca
Image

Posted: 2005-06-15 12:02pm
by Straha
Angry Dave wrote:Umm... isn't already an episode VII? and VIII? and IX? dumbass.
No, actually, there's not dipshit.



That being said, Monkey there should be an enter key on your keyboard, usually to right right side in the middle row, should that, for whatever reason, be missing there's also usually one on the bottom right side of the number pad. After each line of dialogue, hit it. And then, just to be safe, hit it again. After you have made your chapter readable, then we can get into a more detailed constructive criticism session...

Posted: 2005-06-15 12:26pm
by Stravo
CUT. THE. SHIT. OUT. NOW.

Posted: 2005-06-15 01:46pm
by Stofsk
Would it kill some of you to cease replying if you haven't got anything constructive to say? Please say 'yes'.

Posted: 2005-06-15 04:57pm
by Shinova
LOL @ Chiss Jedi Master Compaq. This is satire, right? :lol:

Posted: 2005-06-15 10:55pm
by Drunk Monkey
Shinova wrote:LOL @ Chiss Jedi Master Compaq. This is satire, right? :lol:
Bingo!!!

Posted: 2005-06-16 08:12pm
by Trekdestroyer
Drunk Monkey wrote:
Shinova wrote:LOL @ Chiss Jedi Master Compaq. This is satire, right? :lol:
Bingo!!!
DM, you made the same dumb mistake that I made when I first came here. You tried to write a fanfic, then you wrote a pathetic, short fan fic. The best thing to do is to write one offline, then cut & paste it to your post. I am writing a good one offline with Microsoft WordPad (yeah, I suck for using Microsoft) and I will have someone read it before I post it. You should do the same.

Posted: 2005-06-17 12:06am
by Drunk Monkey
Trekdestroyer wrote:
Drunk Monkey wrote:
Shinova wrote:LOL @ Chiss Jedi Master Compaq. This is satire, right? :lol:
Bingo!!!
DM, you made the same dumb mistake that I made when I first came here. You tried to write a fanfic, then you wrote a pathetic, short fan fic. The best thing to do is to write one offline, then cut & paste it to your post. I am writing a good one offline with Microsoft WordPad (yeah, I suck for using Microsoft) and I will have someone read it before I post it. You should do the same.

This was a copy and past job, I just went at it half assed because I was multitasking as usual.

Posted: 2005-06-17 12:40am
by Angry Dave
Straha wrote:
Angry Dave wrote:Umm... isn't already an episode VII? and VIII? and IX? dumbass.
No, actually, there's not dipshit.
Actually there is, because I um... read them? so tell me again that there isn't one. dipshit.

Posted: 2005-06-17 12:44am
by Gandalf
Angry Dave wrote:
Straha wrote:
Angry Dave wrote:Umm... isn't already an episode VII? and VIII? and IX? dumbass.
No, actually, there's not dipshit.
Actually there is, because I um... read them? so tell me again that there isn't one. dipshit.
Read them? What the hell are you on about?

Posted: 2005-06-17 12:56am
by Noble Ire
Read them? What the hell are you on about?
His mind has been corrupted by Supershadow.



....Sith with Jet packs.
:lol: :lol:

Posted: 2005-06-17 01:34am
by Instant Sunrise
If you know that what you are writing is half-assed, DON'T POST IT.

Make your fic. something that people would want to read.

Posted: 2005-06-17 01:41am
by Shinova
Half the people who are participating in this thread are on drugs.

Posted: 2005-06-17 01:54am
by Stofsk
Shinova wrote:Half the people who are participating in this thread are on drugs.
And the other half?

Posted: 2005-06-17 02:20am
by Shinova
Stofsk wrote: And the other half?

The other half is suffering from heavy withdrawal.

Posted: 2005-06-17 03:26am
by CaptainChewbacca
Angry Dave wrote:
Straha wrote:
Angry Dave wrote:Umm... isn't already an episode VII? and VIII? and IX? dumbass.
No, actually, there's not dipshit.
Actually there is, because I um... read them? so tell me again that there isn't one. dipshit.
The Heir to the Empire series hasn't been set as episodes 7, 8, and 9. They're just three of seventy or eighty EU books.

Posted: 2005-06-17 12:50pm
by Ender
Angry Dave wrote:
Straha wrote:
Angry Dave wrote:Umm... isn't already an episode VII? and VIII? and IX? dumbass.
No, actually, there's not dipshit.
Actually there is, because I um... read them? so tell me again that there isn't one. dipshit.
There isan't one. Whatever you read, it wasn't it. Lucas has never said anything about the plots of them, and nothing has ever been written.

So drop the attitude cheesedick.

Posted: 2005-06-17 02:57pm
by Einhander Sn0m4n
Angry Dave wrote:
Straha wrote:
Angry Dave wrote:Umm... isn't already an episode VII? and VIII? and IX? dumbass.
No, actually, there's not dipshit.
Actually there is, because I um... read them? so tell me again that there isn't one. dipshit.
:wtf:

What the fuck have you been smoking, asstard? Certainly isn't weed, that's for sure.

Okay, since you READ them, care to link us to a copy?

Posted: 2005-06-17 07:04pm
by Drunk Monkey
Angry Dave wrote:
Straha wrote:
Angry Dave wrote:Umm... isn't already an episode VII? and VIII? and IX? dumbass.
No, actually, there's not dipshit.
Actually there is, because I um... read them? so tell me again that there isn't one. dipshit.
Listen you fucking idiot what you read was not a new trilogy. In fact I’m willing to bet your one of those morons who read super shadow.

http://www.starwarssequeltrilogy.com/ Fake, and about as crappie as my number seven.

http://www.supershadow.com/starwars/episode8/plot.html More crap.

http://www.supershadow.com/starwars/episode9/plot.htmlAgain more crap.