StarDestroyer.Net BBS

OK, here goes nothing. Hope you at least find it a little entertaining.

Lost in Reality
Chapter 1

Slowly opening his eyes, Arthur looks around, not quite sure what happened from the time the airlock opened until now. Next to him, looking just as confused as he is sat Ford who looked over to him and shrugged. “Hey, see I told you we would be rescued” said Ford flashing his well known smile.
“Yes” said Arthur ”but where are we? A moment ago you looked like a couch with Daisies all over it” Arthur looks around some more and finds a door in the wall. “ I wonder where this goes.” No sooner than the words left his mouth the door opened and standing in the doorway is a short, squat robot with a huge round head on top. “You two are to follow me” the robot shook its head slowly saying ”brain the size of a planet and here I am escorting hitch hikers to the bridge, oh such a pain in my arm, I wish they would fix those diodes” and the robot tromped off down the hall looking mournfully at the doors as they spoke happy greetings to the robot as it passed them.

Meanwhile in another galaxy……

Crash! With a wrenching sound a pipe is torn off the wall and flung across the hallway, Luke barely ducks it, and immediately gets hit from behind by another piece wrenched off the wall by the unseen force of Vader, knocking him onto a platform in the middle of the city. He recovers in time to block the searing blade of his opponent, parries and strikes out, barely missing Vader’s arm, instead slicing effortlessly through the railing of the platform. Their Light Sabers clash, the sizzling sparking sounds echoing off the walls. Sabers clashing, sparks flying Vader forces Luke to the end of the platform and in a quick series of thrusts and jabs, slices Luke’s hand cleanly off, hand and light saber falling down what appears to be an endless pit. Luke falls back and is hanging off the end of the platform.

“Luke, has Obi-Wan told you what happened to your father.” said Vader. Luke looks at him, pain racked on his face as he hangs on with one hand, his seared wrist tucked under his other arm. “He said you KILLED him!” shouted Luke. “NO” says Vader “ I am your Father! Join me and together we can defeat the Emperor and rule the galaxy”

Meanwhile somewhere in a galaxy unknown….

“What was that?” exclaimed Lone Starr “They’ve gone to Plaid!” exclaimed Barf. Outside the cabin window of their space borne Winnebago the space was lit up with the colors of a Scottish Kilt. Lone Stars and Barf exchanged looks with each other and then back out the front windshield.
On board Space Balls 1, Dark Helmet is hanging onto the console, “My brains…They’ve gone to my feet” Colonel Sandurz looks over and says, “I told you this is Ludicrus.” “Stop this thing!” screamed Dark Helmet. “Where’s the emergency brake?” “it’s on your left” shouted Colonel Sandurz. Helmet reaches out, grabs the brake and gives it a good healthy tug. Suddenly the ship comes to a complete stop and Helmet goes flying forward, smashing his head into the forward bulkhead. Colonel Sandurz walks over to Helmet and asks “What shall we do now, Sir?” Helmet looks at him and asks “Are we stopped?”, Sandurz replies “We’re stopped, Sir!” “Good” says Helmet “Why don’t we all take a five minute break” “Very good, Sir” says Sandurz. “Smoke if you got em” Says Dark Helmet, who then falls over backwards unconscious.

Meanwhile, on an ethereal plain of existent between the afore mentioned galaxies….

Q, sitting comfortably amid what appear to be clouds, looks out into the various galaxies and says to himself, quite dramatically of course, I wonder what kind of mischief I can cook up here, and snaps his fingers.

Kinda hit a brick wall on this. Working on the next chapter where the fun begins, but here is the second part of the first chapter that I didnt get a chance to write up when I first posted.

Shoosh, “Thank you for allowing me to serve you” said the door as they entered the bridge. “Marvin, what have you found” this coming from a man with 2 heads and three arm, known as the President of the Galaxy, also know as the one and only Zaphod Bebblebrox. “Zaphod!” shouted Ford, “ what in the galaxy? Where did you get this ship?” Greetings go around, Ford is reunited with his old friend Zaphod, and interesting enough, Arthur, after having everything he has known his entire life become obliterated, is once more standing in front of a very pretty girl he once met at a party not so long ago.

A few hours later after they have all become re-acquainted and downed a few Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, and feeling rather good about it too, Zaphod reveals his real plan for stealing the Heart of Gold. “I am looking for Magrathea, and with this ship I can find it” “But that is a myth” says Ford. “ I have the coordinates my man!” With that he sticks a small cube in a small cube opening on a spotless console. “Hello, I’m Eddie, your ship board computer. Is this where you want me to take you?” “Yes it is” replies Zaphod. “ lets get going”



“No, I will never join you” cries Luke, looking around him, deciding just what to do next. Vader extinguishes his lightsaber, and extends his hand out to his son.




The coordinates are set, engaging Improbability drive in Five, Four, Three, Two, Hold on to your hats guys, One. Suddenly the ship blinks out in a flash of light.


Luke looks down and as he is just about to let go and plunge down to his death, in a flash of light, both he and Vader blink out. High above the clouds of Bespin, the Super Star Destroyer Executor blinks out of existence.


Aboard Spaceballs 1 Helmet and Sandurz are deciding what to do next. Running up from behind them, Major Asshole Shouts “I found them, I found them. They are on the Moon of Vega” Colonel Sandurz says “Good work, set a course and prepare for our arrival!” Just as they are about to engage their hyperdrive engines, a flash of light and they blink out.