Prologue of a sci-fi fanfic (no name decided yet)
Posted: 2005-09-07 01:36pm
All right, some time ago, I wrote the beginning of a story that was totally crap (and can be found here by the way http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=74010 ) I just couldn’t get the overall plot out of my mind though. Now I’ve tried again and here is the new beginning. Notice that this is probably best described as a prologue of sorts (both chapters will have to be fleshed out a bit) and that the actual story takes place a few hundred years later.
I would appreciate any comments and suggestions.
(Location: Mars vicinity year: 2123 a.d)
He shivered when his body started to heat up again after the long time that it had been frozen. Though it might be necessary to keep his body in optimal condition for what was to come, it never felt good to be frozen. He got up and, ignoring the pain that shot through his muscles, floated over to the closet and took out his uniform. Half an hour later, he arrived at the bridge of his ship, a Saturn XV Genodis Rocket, known as the Punisher. ,,Good to see you again, admiral Conrad. Had some nice dreams?” ,,You know fully well that people don’t sleep while being frozen. But this isn’t the time for it, Rege. What’s that you’re reading?” He looked at the book, MYSTERIES OF HISTORY was written on it with big letters. ,,Oh, some shit about stuff that’s supposed to have happened. You won’t believe what kind of nonsense they say. Look at this for example. A village in England is supposed to have mysteriously disappeared in 1856. And I’m not talking about just the people, I mean everything, even the houses and the streets!” The man burst out laughing while the admiral gave him a stern look ,, Nice, but we should get busy now. Any news from Washington?” The man who had strapped himself into his seat, turned back towards his console and activated it. A few button presses later, he was stopped by the protection software. ,,Please insert authorization code.” The soft female voice of the computer spoke. ,,Authorization code: Rege Erwing, Alpha 623-389 Zeta 713-592.” ,,Authorization code confirmed.” Rege turned his head back to the admiral and his old friend and said:,, We’re 200 million kilometres from Earth and at least 1 million kilometres from the nearest person who isn’t onboard any of the rockets, and still they lock down everything on that damn computer behind a constantly changing authorization code! And why do they have to give it this voice? If they wanted the voice of a woman, they should have given us a real one! Then we had something to do when we got bored.” Admiral Conrad smiled before answering:,, Now, Rege. Don’t start acting like this. You never know how many bugs they planted around here and you don’t want the guys at home to hear this, do you? They might drag you in front of a military court the moment you get back! Besides, we’re on a serious mission here. So, can you give me the latest messages from Washington?”
(Location: unknown.)
He turned towards the window and looked at the creature behind it. So far it had passed all the tests he had given it, and his fellow units reported the same. Still, there were some problems, but they had all been anticipated and were being taken care of quickly. It differed a lot from previous versions, though some features, such as the thick fur, upright position, a combination of two legs and two arms with complex hands at the end were almost identical. The biggest difference wasn’t the fact that it had improved eyesight, six fingered hands instead of five fingered or that it had a more complex brain. It was the personality. Previous prototypes had all turned out to be too calm and dependent on the rest of the pack. They also never resisted against any influences which were considered unpleasant, unless they were together in a large pack. This one showed none of these characteristics. It was an energetic, aggressive and very proud creature that could only be kept under control by the physical superiority of him and his fellow units, and even then it couldn’t be fully tamed. Right at this moment it was looking how far it could go. This was exactly the type of characteristics his masters had requested. A camera that had been placed in the room bought it when the creature used the retractable claws on the tip of its fingers to tear of its protective cover and ripped out the insides. Within seconds, one of his fellow units entered the room in response to the signal he had send on the communication net. His fellow unit used its large scoop like hands to pick up the creature which promptly started biting and clawing at it. A heavy hit on the head with one of the other hands made it go limp and it was dropped back to the floor. Before leaving, his fellow unit removed the camera and requested a new set of plating to replace the ones that had been damaged by the creatures teeth and claws. A new camera that was better suited to survive these kinds of situations would be installed in the following dark cycle. He turned away from the window and moved down the corridor. One of the earlier prototypes was being brought to the processing device where it would be turned into food for the other prototypes. It knew it was going to die and howled with fear, the mouth of its wolf like face wide open. But it didn’t resist its captors grip now that the pack was nowhere in sight, which was exactly the characteristic that had made him and his fellow units decide its death. He didn’t know why he had to spend his active time developing, creating and testing these creatures, especially when there were so many better designs he could develop but which weren’t within the design specifications his masters had ordered, but he never asked any questions. He wasn’t programmed for it.
I would appreciate any comments and suggestions.
(Location: Mars vicinity year: 2123 a.d)
He shivered when his body started to heat up again after the long time that it had been frozen. Though it might be necessary to keep his body in optimal condition for what was to come, it never felt good to be frozen. He got up and, ignoring the pain that shot through his muscles, floated over to the closet and took out his uniform. Half an hour later, he arrived at the bridge of his ship, a Saturn XV Genodis Rocket, known as the Punisher. ,,Good to see you again, admiral Conrad. Had some nice dreams?” ,,You know fully well that people don’t sleep while being frozen. But this isn’t the time for it, Rege. What’s that you’re reading?” He looked at the book, MYSTERIES OF HISTORY was written on it with big letters. ,,Oh, some shit about stuff that’s supposed to have happened. You won’t believe what kind of nonsense they say. Look at this for example. A village in England is supposed to have mysteriously disappeared in 1856. And I’m not talking about just the people, I mean everything, even the houses and the streets!” The man burst out laughing while the admiral gave him a stern look ,, Nice, but we should get busy now. Any news from Washington?” The man who had strapped himself into his seat, turned back towards his console and activated it. A few button presses later, he was stopped by the protection software. ,,Please insert authorization code.” The soft female voice of the computer spoke. ,,Authorization code: Rege Erwing, Alpha 623-389 Zeta 713-592.” ,,Authorization code confirmed.” Rege turned his head back to the admiral and his old friend and said:,, We’re 200 million kilometres from Earth and at least 1 million kilometres from the nearest person who isn’t onboard any of the rockets, and still they lock down everything on that damn computer behind a constantly changing authorization code! And why do they have to give it this voice? If they wanted the voice of a woman, they should have given us a real one! Then we had something to do when we got bored.” Admiral Conrad smiled before answering:,, Now, Rege. Don’t start acting like this. You never know how many bugs they planted around here and you don’t want the guys at home to hear this, do you? They might drag you in front of a military court the moment you get back! Besides, we’re on a serious mission here. So, can you give me the latest messages from Washington?”
(Location: unknown.)
He turned towards the window and looked at the creature behind it. So far it had passed all the tests he had given it, and his fellow units reported the same. Still, there were some problems, but they had all been anticipated and were being taken care of quickly. It differed a lot from previous versions, though some features, such as the thick fur, upright position, a combination of two legs and two arms with complex hands at the end were almost identical. The biggest difference wasn’t the fact that it had improved eyesight, six fingered hands instead of five fingered or that it had a more complex brain. It was the personality. Previous prototypes had all turned out to be too calm and dependent on the rest of the pack. They also never resisted against any influences which were considered unpleasant, unless they were together in a large pack. This one showed none of these characteristics. It was an energetic, aggressive and very proud creature that could only be kept under control by the physical superiority of him and his fellow units, and even then it couldn’t be fully tamed. Right at this moment it was looking how far it could go. This was exactly the type of characteristics his masters had requested. A camera that had been placed in the room bought it when the creature used the retractable claws on the tip of its fingers to tear of its protective cover and ripped out the insides. Within seconds, one of his fellow units entered the room in response to the signal he had send on the communication net. His fellow unit used its large scoop like hands to pick up the creature which promptly started biting and clawing at it. A heavy hit on the head with one of the other hands made it go limp and it was dropped back to the floor. Before leaving, his fellow unit removed the camera and requested a new set of plating to replace the ones that had been damaged by the creatures teeth and claws. A new camera that was better suited to survive these kinds of situations would be installed in the following dark cycle. He turned away from the window and moved down the corridor. One of the earlier prototypes was being brought to the processing device where it would be turned into food for the other prototypes. It knew it was going to die and howled with fear, the mouth of its wolf like face wide open. But it didn’t resist its captors grip now that the pack was nowhere in sight, which was exactly the characteristic that had made him and his fellow units decide its death. He didn’t know why he had to spend his active time developing, creating and testing these creatures, especially when there were so many better designs he could develop but which weren’t within the design specifications his masters had ordered, but he never asked any questions. He wasn’t programmed for it.