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Q and Vader short fanfic

Posted: 2006-08-29 05:21am
by Shrykull
::Q appears on the bridge of Vader's imperial ship:

Admiral: Should I seize him Lord Vader

Vader: No I will deal with this boisterous upstart myself

Vader: Who are you?

Q: Ah, now, now, good sir, I admire your personality, unlike the borg, but
I'd appreciate some courtesy from you, I ask kindly that you don't give anyfunny orders

Vader: Do you know who I am? You wouldn't speak to me in such a manner if you knew, alien, I warn you, do not test me, I am a master Sith Lord of the Dark Side of the force and will show you who you are dealing with!

Q: ::Laughs:: Says in a belittling voice- My, my, you Sith Lords are all alike,
arrogant, arrogant, impulsive beings, so much like my dear friends from the
enterprise, it looks you however, good sir could serve as a greater source
of amusement. Hmm, it seems that you have a bad case of Asthma too, maybe I could recommend a good doctor around here to perscribe you some inhaler medicine?

Vader: I warned you Alien, now you will face my wrath

::Vader reaches inside, where he feels the dark side of the force flowing
through himself:: ready to give this boisterous fool an eternal lesson and
imagines a hand grasping his throat

Q: ::Laughs:: says AS IF he's choking, but actually he's not- You didn't pay
much attention during first aid class did you my foolish Sith Lord, the
Heimleck(sp?) manuver is performed on the stomach not the throat.

::Vader thinks "Perhaps he is a great Jedi/Sith Master himself, it seems thatthis could be challenge, although I did not sense the presence of the force within him, he must be able to hide it from me, indeed this is quite a foe"

Vader: I see that you have come prepared Jedi, and you may be able to
thwart my lesser powers but you will lose in the end

Q: Well, I severly hate to disappoint you and the rest of your toy soldier
Empire you've established here, but I just happen to be an omnipotent being who's come here for my own amusement

:Vader prepares to use the force again this time to force this Jedi into
mental combat where he can begin disabling parts of his brain

Q: I can't believe I didn't think of this before, I should never have even
bothered with Picard, Vader I'm really sorry you flunked out of med school
but you have to learn the proper way to perform a labotomy, I will show you
how

::Q Merely imagines Vader having no powers of the force whatsoever and it
happens::

::Vader is stunned senseless he no longer feels the force flowing through
him, he is terrified more so then he ever has been in his life, as he
reaches for his light saber to cut him down::

Lightsaber sprays out silly string.

Vader: No, it can't be, AH!

::Vader collapses at Q's feet and starts crying Heh, wonder what that would
sound like, James Earl Jones voice with Vader's robotic type voice crying::

Q: Well, you've been a very naughty boy Ani, and I'm going to have to teach you a lesson, Ah, what's that, Oh, I won't have to, you've done it yourself

::The tears from Vader crying under his mask seep down his chest into his
cybernetic devices and he starts short-circuiting, and he starts screaming
and finnally catches on fire and screams in Agony and dies::

Q: Ah, I see now I was wrong, how foolish could I be, Villans just aren't my
type, they just insist on attacking me, and I just have to get rid of them,
but this quite fun, although short lived, I'll stick to Picard, and never
mind these Villans, I want something more long term, after all, I am ageless

:Q disappears:

Posted: 2006-08-31 03:51pm
by Lindar
amusing. I may be missing a few points, but the main idea is fun and it made me smile, so it's amusing*hands over a peanut butter cookie*

Posted: 2006-08-31 11:28pm
by Spice Runner
I liked that. Quite funny. I wonder though what Vader would sound like crying.

Posted: 2006-09-01 03:39pm
by Hawkwings
I sure he would sound very manly and menacing. Scare the crap out of junior officers, no doubt.