Jacket + Panic! + Alchemist: Ambitious or ludicrous?
Posted: 2006-09-15 12:09am
It was a simple idea at first: Full Metal Jacket + Full Metal Panic! + Fullmetal Alchemist. It was just an alternate-history Vietnam War with mecha and alchemy. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman wouldn't appear, but Sergeant Sagara and Colonel Mustang would. However, that simple premise failed to spawn a coherent plot, so I decided to take a few pages from other stuff. Prepare for an excessively long, drawn-out, semi-coherent plot summary that's willing to shamelessly steal stuff and warp it to suit its own needs, without even the slightest regard for canon.
...
It starts off just like Apocalypse Now. Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, is approached by a group of intelligence officers, who present him with a mission: go into Cambodia and terminate General "Fuhrer" King Bradley, a former Green Beret who has allegedly gone insane and is now commanding his own legions of Viet Cong, Montagnards, former Khmer Rouge, American defectors, and international mercenaries, with extreme prejudice.
Mustang's crew is an extremely eclectic mix of men and women; when all the intel is analyzed, it's revealed that General Bradley has something each of them are looking for. Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes is currently investigating the "Philosopher's Legacy," a sum of approximately $1 trillion shared between the members of NATO; Bradley has appropriated a large chunk of America's share for his own purposes, and Hughes has come to collect it back. Major Tim Marcoh, the Crystal Alchemist, is interested in recovering his research on the Philosopher's Stone, which was stolen by Bradley prior to his mutiny; Major Edward Elric and his brother Alphonse are not only after Marcoh's research, but after an actual Philosopher's Stone as well. The resident CIA advisor, an enigmatic man by the alias of "Scar," bears a personal grudge against one of Bradley's henchmen—the traitorous Crimson Alchemist, Lieutenant Colonel Zolf Kimblee.
Prior to departing on his mission to terminate General Bradley, Colonel Mustang receives a number of reinforcements: a trio of majors named Kazuma Torisuna, Cloud Strife, and Sheena Fujibayashi, along with their respective squads. Major Torisuna, along with CIA agent "Straight Cougar," Captain Ayase Terada, and 2nd Lieutenant Asuka Tachibana, is one of a special group dubbed "Alter users," alchemists who can transmute without any regard for transmutation circles or Equivalent Exchange; in addition to their considerable alchemic power, Alter users can manifest a special ability that can enhance their combat abilities. Most of the people in Major Strife and Major Fujibayashi's squads are either Alter users or regular alchemists; those who have no Alter power or alchemic ability make up for it with truly formidable combat skills, be it with guns, knives, or their own fists.
At first, Roy is baffled at why Kazuma, Cloud, and Sheena are with him, but a further look into the intel reveals a disturbing revelation: Everyone who has been sent after General Bradley has either been terminated with extreme prejudice themselves or brainwashed into members of his own legion. The last two schmucks sent to do the job, "Sephiroth" and "Mithos Yggdrasill," have not been heard from for quite a while, which is why Cloud and Sheena are there to investigate. As for Kazuma, he and his squad have been assigned to terminate any and all Alter users in league with Bradley; Kazuma especially has it in for his nemesis, Lieutenant Colonel Ryuho Tairen.
On Bradley's side of the story, it is revealed that he is now in league with a rogue Soviet military adviser, Colonel Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin. The infamous "Thunderbolt" has strongarmed a group of scientists into developing a superweapon known as "Shagohod," ostensibly to help the North Vietnamese unite all Indochina under Communist rule. Unlike most of the characters, the weapon has survived the transition more or less intact. It's still a giant nuke-launching tank, but there's an important caveat: it requires a little device known as a "Lambda Driver" in order to operate properly. Unfortunately for Volgin, none of his scientists are smart enough to devise the Driver by themselves; he's up shit creek without a paddle and completely at the mercy of the Americans unless he can find someone with the needed expertise.
Enter Kaname Chidori, a 16-year-old student at Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora Preparatory, a prestigious high school for the children of military families in Saigon. Unbeknownst to herself, Kaname is one of the "Whispered," persons with an unusually intuitive knowledge of so-called "Black Technology" (which, incidentally, the Lambda Driver is an article of). Volgin knows of Kaname's status, but so does the U.S. Armed Forces; in order to prevent her from falling into enemy hands, Ensign Sousuke Sagara, a 17-year-old prodigy fresh out of Annapolis, has been assigned to protect her.
The student body of Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora is a bewildering mix of every teenage drama and anime cliche known to man. Kaname has made a lot of friends and just as many enemies; naming and describing them all would take many posts, but there are quite a few who stand out. Her best friends are an eclectic mix of young women: would-be State Alchemists Rin Tosaka and Sakura Mato, resident child prodigy Chiyo Mihama, general oddball Ayumu Kasuga, enigmatic swordswomen Saber and Shana, large-breasted genius Orihime Inoue, heterochromatic redhead Asuna Kagurazaka, shy bookworm Nodoka Miyazaki, and the eccentric beauty known only as Haruhi Suzumiya, to name only a few. Her worst nemesis is none other than Tohru Honda, the tyrannical and sadistic class president; one of her hobbies is tormenting Kaname and her circle of friends through the liberal use of her goons, Yuki and Kyo Sohma. Unfortunately for Tohru, Sousuke's arrival has crimped her style somewhat, and she now seeks to eliminate him as well.
The faculty of Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora is just as bizarre as the student body, if not even more. For instance, AP English teacher Negi Springfield, for instance, is a 13-year-old Alter user, a protege of legendary educator and current U.S. Secretary of Education Eikichi Onizuka, and a childhood friend of Sousuke. The Japanese teacher, Yukari Tanizaki, is just as weird as her students are, if not even more; her mood swings and odd behavior are legendary on campus. Principal Rufus Shinra is actually a commissioned Lieutenant Commander in the U.S. Navy sent to keep an eye on Sousuke and Kaname; his henchpeople Reno, Rude, Tseng, and Elena are in charge of school security. Reno in particular has an axe to grind with his renegade cousin Axel, whose main hobby is to harass the Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora student body; Axel is one of the members of the international terrorist faction known as "Organization XIII," which is seeking out Kaname and other members of the Whispered for their own insidious purposes.
This is the backdrop of the greater plot. Can Roy, Cloud, and Sheena do their jobs and terminate General Bradley before they're terminated themselves? Can Kaname deal with the hassles of school life while trying to save herself from Colonel Volgin and the Organization?
...
Yes, it's retarded, but it's so crazy it just might work. (Note: A whole lot more gets crossed over than what I've described here; I may drop a few minor details here and there, but should this thing actually get written, you'll find out.)
Now, I submit it to the unforgiving gaze of the SDN writers. What do you guys think?
...
It starts off just like Apocalypse Now. Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, is approached by a group of intelligence officers, who present him with a mission: go into Cambodia and terminate General "Fuhrer" King Bradley, a former Green Beret who has allegedly gone insane and is now commanding his own legions of Viet Cong, Montagnards, former Khmer Rouge, American defectors, and international mercenaries, with extreme prejudice.
Mustang's crew is an extremely eclectic mix of men and women; when all the intel is analyzed, it's revealed that General Bradley has something each of them are looking for. Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes is currently investigating the "Philosopher's Legacy," a sum of approximately $1 trillion shared between the members of NATO; Bradley has appropriated a large chunk of America's share for his own purposes, and Hughes has come to collect it back. Major Tim Marcoh, the Crystal Alchemist, is interested in recovering his research on the Philosopher's Stone, which was stolen by Bradley prior to his mutiny; Major Edward Elric and his brother Alphonse are not only after Marcoh's research, but after an actual Philosopher's Stone as well. The resident CIA advisor, an enigmatic man by the alias of "Scar," bears a personal grudge against one of Bradley's henchmen—the traitorous Crimson Alchemist, Lieutenant Colonel Zolf Kimblee.
Prior to departing on his mission to terminate General Bradley, Colonel Mustang receives a number of reinforcements: a trio of majors named Kazuma Torisuna, Cloud Strife, and Sheena Fujibayashi, along with their respective squads. Major Torisuna, along with CIA agent "Straight Cougar," Captain Ayase Terada, and 2nd Lieutenant Asuka Tachibana, is one of a special group dubbed "Alter users," alchemists who can transmute without any regard for transmutation circles or Equivalent Exchange; in addition to their considerable alchemic power, Alter users can manifest a special ability that can enhance their combat abilities. Most of the people in Major Strife and Major Fujibayashi's squads are either Alter users or regular alchemists; those who have no Alter power or alchemic ability make up for it with truly formidable combat skills, be it with guns, knives, or their own fists.
At first, Roy is baffled at why Kazuma, Cloud, and Sheena are with him, but a further look into the intel reveals a disturbing revelation: Everyone who has been sent after General Bradley has either been terminated with extreme prejudice themselves or brainwashed into members of his own legion. The last two schmucks sent to do the job, "Sephiroth" and "Mithos Yggdrasill," have not been heard from for quite a while, which is why Cloud and Sheena are there to investigate. As for Kazuma, he and his squad have been assigned to terminate any and all Alter users in league with Bradley; Kazuma especially has it in for his nemesis, Lieutenant Colonel Ryuho Tairen.
On Bradley's side of the story, it is revealed that he is now in league with a rogue Soviet military adviser, Colonel Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin. The infamous "Thunderbolt" has strongarmed a group of scientists into developing a superweapon known as "Shagohod," ostensibly to help the North Vietnamese unite all Indochina under Communist rule. Unlike most of the characters, the weapon has survived the transition more or less intact. It's still a giant nuke-launching tank, but there's an important caveat: it requires a little device known as a "Lambda Driver" in order to operate properly. Unfortunately for Volgin, none of his scientists are smart enough to devise the Driver by themselves; he's up shit creek without a paddle and completely at the mercy of the Americans unless he can find someone with the needed expertise.
Enter Kaname Chidori, a 16-year-old student at Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora Preparatory, a prestigious high school for the children of military families in Saigon. Unbeknownst to herself, Kaname is one of the "Whispered," persons with an unusually intuitive knowledge of so-called "Black Technology" (which, incidentally, the Lambda Driver is an article of). Volgin knows of Kaname's status, but so does the U.S. Armed Forces; in order to prevent her from falling into enemy hands, Ensign Sousuke Sagara, a 17-year-old prodigy fresh out of Annapolis, has been assigned to protect her.
The student body of Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora is a bewildering mix of every teenage drama and anime cliche known to man. Kaname has made a lot of friends and just as many enemies; naming and describing them all would take many posts, but there are quite a few who stand out. Her best friends are an eclectic mix of young women: would-be State Alchemists Rin Tosaka and Sakura Mato, resident child prodigy Chiyo Mihama, general oddball Ayumu Kasuga, enigmatic swordswomen Saber and Shana, large-breasted genius Orihime Inoue, heterochromatic redhead Asuna Kagurazaka, shy bookworm Nodoka Miyazaki, and the eccentric beauty known only as Haruhi Suzumiya, to name only a few. Her worst nemesis is none other than Tohru Honda, the tyrannical and sadistic class president; one of her hobbies is tormenting Kaname and her circle of friends through the liberal use of her goons, Yuki and Kyo Sohma. Unfortunately for Tohru, Sousuke's arrival has crimped her style somewhat, and she now seeks to eliminate him as well.
The faculty of Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora is just as bizarre as the student body, if not even more. For instance, AP English teacher Negi Springfield, for instance, is a 13-year-old Alter user, a protege of legendary educator and current U.S. Secretary of Education Eikichi Onizuka, and a childhood friend of Sousuke. The Japanese teacher, Yukari Tanizaki, is just as weird as her students are, if not even more; her mood swings and odd behavior are legendary on campus. Principal Rufus Shinra is actually a commissioned Lieutenant Commander in the U.S. Navy sent to keep an eye on Sousuke and Kaname; his henchpeople Reno, Rude, Tseng, and Elena are in charge of school security. Reno in particular has an axe to grind with his renegade cousin Axel, whose main hobby is to harass the Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora student body; Axel is one of the members of the international terrorist faction known as "Organization XIII," which is seeking out Kaname and other members of the Whispered for their own insidious purposes.
This is the backdrop of the greater plot. Can Roy, Cloud, and Sheena do their jobs and terminate General Bradley before they're terminated themselves? Can Kaname deal with the hassles of school life while trying to save herself from Colonel Volgin and the Organization?
...
Yes, it's retarded, but it's so crazy it just might work. (Note: A whole lot more gets crossed over than what I've described here; I may drop a few minor details here and there, but should this thing actually get written, you'll find out.)
Now, I submit it to the unforgiving gaze of the SDN writers. What do you guys think?
