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Hunting The Hunters (Imakandi [SJ]/Yautja [Predators] Fin!

Posted: 2006-10-14 10:16am
by The Grim Squeaker
Hunting The Hunters (Imakandi [SJ]/Yautja [Predators]
-Short story

(The Imakandi are a race of lion-like hunters from Samurai Jack, The Yautja is the species name of the Predator(s)).

There are many worlds, countless stars, a myriad of solar systems, countless galaxies, endless galactic super-structures, more dimensions than can be conceived, an infinity of universes and untold multiverses.
This is a tale of two of those.


BAM! – A galaxy, glistening with light.

BADAM! – A planet, green with life, containing an atmosphere rich with oxygen, oceans of clear blue water, and soil full of the nutrients necessary for carbon based life.

BUDADAM! – A plain, full of tall brown plants. And eating those plants grazing beasts over 8 meters tall, with 3 stalk eye, multiple hooved legs and a blotchy hide.

Babum… - Slowly Creeping towards the beasts from downwind – A group of beings, shaped like the terran creature known as the lion but standing upright, clothed and wielding ropes, spears and blow darts in their hands.

Ba-FZASH!! : A bolt of shimmering blue-white plasma, bursting forth from a patch of (Seemingly) empty air, slams into one of the beasts, leaving a gaping charred hole in its side.

The beast collapses, and the hazy patch of air coalesces from its downwind point in the air to the depressed patch of dirt under it.

A pair of Beings appears, each standing over 2 meters tall, clad with a fully covered helm, carrying weapons in their arms and in pouches (As well as a still smoking cannon on the taller of the pair’s shoulder) , and wearing scant clothing (Primarily a Fishnet, arm based armour and controls and a loincloth, as well as the plain helmet).

The taller and more grizzled of the pair removed his helmet, revealing a nightmarish yellowish face with large out jutting fangs (One of which was broken), and let loose a roar of triumph.

His shorter, greener companion followed suit though with his helmet still raised. Following this, they proceeded to skin the (now dead) dead beast, though not before retrieving the beast’s head (Complete with dangling eyestalks and most of its spine).

These actions did not go unnoticed by the lion-like scantily equipped hunters, all of whom remained perfectly motionless for a considerable amount of time, even after the alien Predators had left.

BADA-DA-DA-DOOM! - The Lion Hunters (Known as the Imakandi) convened at their village –

Primitive. Huts. A tribal fire contained by rocks. A dancing shaman reeking of herbs and rare weeds. Trophies from beasts of all sizes (Including a head larger than the huts). A set of tribal masks large enough to conceal the body. Drummers. And The Tribe itself-

“Brothers, you have all seen the Desecration committed today” Shouted the tallest of the Imakandi to the gathering,
“One of the sacred plain beasts preserved for ritual hunts has been slain by weapons, not by tooth and claw nor captured by the tools of the hunt. And it was slain for sport, not for the challenge, and by powerful hunters. And these so called “Hunters”, these amateur predators of plainbeasts did this without call nor grant on our planet, our plain, Our Domain!”

The tribe Roared in reply.
“Let us hunt down these beings and show them their error, should they show themselves to be but misguided, unknowing fools and skillful they shall be released to winnow out the lesser prey of the universe, and if not – Their pelts shall line my tomb, This I vow by my pack blood and lineage from Skarj Olfag, and by my name of Mazaj Olfag!”

The Tribe roared even harder in reply, and began to dance over and through the fire heating the passions of the blood and preparing for The Hunt.


Broken Fang was Seething behind his helmet.

The grizzled old Yautja had been expecting a truly worthy foe on this planet, known even in the legends of the Yautja people as the source of truly fearsome hunters, yet all he had found were these docile herd beasts (Even if Resistant to enough firepower to reduce a soft skin to a melted waxy lump) and a few mud villages containing child-bearers and sleeping mammals (Which were fat and lazy, moving only to remain in the sun).

True, he had come prepared for the truth to be rather anti-climactic, Since he was supposed to help find blood-worthy prey that Yeakorj could kill, and a being capable of the level of threat a grown Hardskin posed, but was not the traditional hard-skin in it’s hive.

This was all due to the elders wish to reduce the dependency of blooding rituals on the hard-skins by finding additional prey of the same level of proficiency & Danger, and that were so potent as a species (Unlike the variably skilled soft-skins).

So it was that The “Honored”, “Blooded”, “Masterful”, “He of the 400 kills”, “Broken fang” was sent out to scout out the planet with the un-blooded whelp, rather than a merely blooded hunter of less kill and “dignitas” as would be usual.

All of which was producing exactly naught so far, as far as he was concerned.

Still he continued the long arcing sweep on their way back to the ship (To deposit their tri-stalked trophy) rather than calling it to him, as he still hoped to find something capable of threatening him without him having to fight it with his bare hands.

All the while unnoticing the small group of 4 thin and hardly muscled mammals stalking them, unseen by his heat based vision due to the mud packed to their bodies, unheard by his sound based sensors due to their irregular 2 then 4 legged padding, un-noticed by his young companion. And getting slowly closer inch by padding inch.

To Be continued -

Posted: 2006-10-14 12:37pm
by Shroom Man 777
Oh shit. Oh shit. This will be truly fun. ME WANT MORE! NOW!

Part 2 - End

Posted: 2006-10-22 09:23am
by The Grim Squeaker
Cont:

Yaokorj grunted as he hefted the stinking head onto the ground.

The Youngling Yautja was strong & hardy, but after going almost 90 km in 6 hours, While carrying a stinking trophy head by the eyestalks even a Yautja was prone to wearwiness despite the glorious heat.

That didn't mean that he neglected a variety of sensor sweeps, or an additional check-over with his own vision or an IR enhanced scan, but in this case it wasn't enough.

Broken Fang on the other hand made even more Sweeps, scans & checks (Having reached his age and prowess due to being a suspicous, paranoid and above all wary hunter (And not due to being favoured by the Scorekeeper as some whispered about him)).

He made auditory checks (Hearing a rodent crackle as it gnawed a blade of "grass"), UV scans, a Tierlung-Fey Ro sweep (A technology unique to the Yautja and designed to detect unusual mental or EM activity [Such as that present in Hardblood queens or in body/mind controlling parasites]), A Petero-Kay Pik check (Pheremone based, This rare technology usually only bothered with by hunt-leaders, and meant to trace rutting or overly aggressive males, and to warn of pregnant females/"Bearers" to prevent a hunt-crime), EM Wave-length checks, as well as his own various IR and light based visual options.
Again, this did not suffice.

However, Broken Fang had an additional sense available to him, one rarer than all the technology in the galaxy, Present only in the greatest hunters, "Old bloods", Tribal elders, Juducators, and the worthiest of prey –
Gut Instinct.

This was why when (Upon reaching the ship) rather than board it while decloaking, he instead ordered a full sensor sweep, which 628.42 milliseconds later detected 4 "Large" life-forms [Known to themselves as "The Imakandi" though he did not know this yet] not detected by his own scans.

Following a hastily tapped out order, the ship began to charge up, as well as powering up it's weapon batteries and to charge it's Weaponry arrays (Anti personnel, automated, short range, atmospheric low yield only class(s)) whilst maintaining the cloak and opening a sliver of the cloaked boarding ramp.

Meanwhile Fang "Barked" out a warning to Yaokorj.

The latter promptly (in a series of blindingly fast moves) drew his spear, activated his shoulder cannon (Set to auto-track based on movement and the pheremone tags in a Yautja's skull [A safety measure]), Threw a half dozen flash pellets designed to blind anyone lacking a Smart shielding helmet (Lighting the plain like a five thousand campfires for a tenth of a second) –
Only to be hit by a poisoned dart which penetrated through his shoulder cannon, armour and skin.

He began to sway then topple slowly (Overcome by the toxins and acids) only to be impaled to the ground in mid-fall by a thrown ruby headed spear, which pierced through his chest, shattered his first & second layer of rib-bones and continued unphased through him carrying with it into the open air his second heart, leaving him halfway to the ground.

Yaokorj died almost immediately after this, though not before roaring a death-curse at the feline Carnivore mammal-predators that had killed him, then feeling a whisp of Joy as his pierced shoulder cannon exploded in a massive burst, vapourizing him and blasting one of the attacking Imakandi into oblivion, sending him to the Great hunters ground blooded with a worthy foe's blood on his fangs.

In the meantime the ships weapons had begun to (Partially) charge and to function, blasting at the (Sumersaulting, leaping and running) attackers with multi mach bullets, diamond flechete sprays, streams of super heated coolant (Which caused the plain to ignite in an inferno as it melted down to the rocks underneath it), Crimson bolts of energy and green balls of energy that exploded on contact, as well as lasers (Barely visible in the bursts of dust & rubble raised by Yaokorj's inferno).

The attacking mammals however had the bad manners to evade the automated weapons fire (Or to sidetrack it with thrown projectiles [such as stones, exploding rocks, snakes and anything else that came to hand], despite it's constantly improving Tempo and Rate of Fire, while still managing to assault the Lone Broken Fang with a barely broken Co-ordinated barrage of Darts, spears and Woven sparking weighted Net.

Automated weapons were no match for an Imakandi (Their Cubs were weened on adaptive combat machine salvaged from a worthy race of Mechanoids that had the bad fortune to try to "cleanse The Fleshy ones" from the planet).

Broken Fang however also managed to evade The three-fold attack.

He utilized the hole in the pattern caused by the Death of the 4th Alien-"Carnivore", the Ships pattern of covering fire fire as flak (Having programmed it himself and practiced it while escaping a Hard-blood hive while fending of a Queens Praetorian guards and preventing the Queen from escaping her net a few decades back).

These enviromental advantages would have been useless however, without his ability to capitalize on them with his own considerable speed & Evasive skills, shots of manually targetted shoulder-cannon fire (To shoot down a blindingly fast spear throw), a fast ambidextrous slash with an extended arm-blade to slash the thrown net in half (Though it's electric shock still left his entire right side Numb despite his considerable insulation).

In the end, this and a pause a tenth of a second long in reaction to his howl of Rage at his young Trusts Death (Worthy though it might be) allowed him to leap into the ship, close the ramp (via audio-command) and hastily launch it (Many of the unshielded, barely powered outer defenses having been destroyed by then), The Head of the Plain-beast still resting on the ramp (Having been thrown there by Yaotorj just before the attack).

The Ship blasted off, and though Broken Fang considered the Carnivore-Feline's on the ground his honour would not let him blast them from the sky, for he was a Yautja and would settle this with honour and by the Hunters Code.

The Hunters, now 3 in number stared at the ship as it left the atmosphere and winked into trans-space.
Memorizing their Foes countenance & Spoor.
Beggining to ready themselves for the ritual of star-walking.

And Preparing for the continuation of The Hunt.

Quickly they returned to their village, the seared blasted, chared corpse of their companion with them.

Later, as the corpse-fire burned, and 2 additional brothers joined them (Their foe had acted with honour,despite his usage of machines So a warriors Death would be his) and began the Dance of memorial.
Then they began the fire-dance as the shaman prepared them for the Spirit-walk that would take them to their target, despite the inter-stellar distances seperating them.
So travel they would, across the stars.

To the Yautja Mothership.
And their Prey.


To be continued in "Predator vs Carnivore"!

And please, comment So I can now what to improve, I may be starting as an amatuer, but I won't improve without reviews, critique or comment!

Posted: 2006-10-22 12:54pm
by Shroom Man 777
I really like it! Although the techniques with all the brackets and the parenthesises is most unusual, giving it a somewhat technical narrative. It's very good, but the style isn't written in the normal narrative prose.

I'm not so sure why Broken Fang would just run away to the Mothership like that. Why? If he's such a hardass, I think he'd just run a few klicks away, park his ship discreetly, go out and start hunting the bastards (or wait for reinforcements). Is he going to the Mothership to ask for more hunters? I don't think he'd run like a bitch.

I think the defensive weapons were too numerous and obscene. A lot of bullets, plasma and stuff, sure - but it seemed to border on mass destruction. No biggie, though.

Note that I'm rooting for Broken Fang. Is he the one and the same in the first AvP novel (the one with the Jap chick)? Or is he the one with the action figure, the brown-broken-tusk with the harpoon launcher on his arm?

Continue.

Posted: 2006-10-22 01:04pm
by The Grim Squeaker
Shroom Man 777 wrote:I really like it! Although the techniques with all the brackets and the parenthesises is most unusual, giving it a somewhat technical narrative.
Blame it on my tendancy to add details (It comes from reading too much Pratchett) and not break sub-plots correctly.
It's very good, but the style isn't written in the normal narrative prose.
Herm, yes I need to learn how to do that.
I'm not so sure why Broken Fang would just run away to the Mothership like that. Why?
His whole mission on the planet was to find worthy "Prey".
Finding something worse than the Yautja was beyond his expectations, and he needs to bring word of Yaokorj's demise, as well as to consult with the Elders as to how to utilize this new species of Carnivore.

That and, the Imakandi were kicking his ass despite the ship's defences. (The term is "A strategic retreat")
If he's such a hardass, I think he'd just run a few klicks away, park his ship discreetly, go out and start hunting the bastards (or wait for reinforcements).
He'd need to report back for reinforcements (Hint, HINT!).
Is he going to the Mothership to ask for more hunters? I don't think he'd run like a bitch.
He'd need to report back for reinforcements (Hint, HINT!).
I think the defensive weapons were too numerous and obscene. A lot of bullets, plasma and stuff, sure - but it seemed to border on mass destruction. No biggie, though.
The Predator's have Very advanced technology.
The standard Hunting equipment is the equilevent of a Red-neck with Off the rack Wall-mart gear for them, and the ships are made on the Yautja "Civilized" planets (By the Yautja who have a technological, advanced society, not the hunters in their (Almost self sustaining) ships.
Note that I'm rooting for Broken Fang. Is he the one and the same in the first AvP novel (the one with the Jap chick)?
Yup.
Continue.
I need to type up to the computer my first 3 pages of Sw/WH40k "Battle at the Gates of Terra" first :P (Kuddos to Stravo for the twist on the idea).
Blame my slow typing speed (And my lack of a Scanner with OCR that could understand my hand-writing) :wink:

Posted: 2006-10-22 02:52pm
by Shroom Man 777
If the defenses were that much and the Imikandi were still kicking his ass, I think that'd wank out the Imikandi's too much. I mean, even Preds would run away from that. If you rationalized it with the automated defenses being pattern based, not directly tracking the Imikandis (if they could evade Pred helmet sensors, maybe they could evade the sensors on the automated defenses - which could be separate from the ship's main sensors). But that's just me.

The parenthesises and hyphens are pretty okay, by me.

Posted: 2006-10-22 07:15pm
by LadyTevar
All the parathensis were distracting to my opinion.

Posted: 2006-10-23 12:18am
by Shroom Man 777
Yeah, you certainly won't find that format in a novel. But I sorta like how it gives a technical feel...and we are dealing with Predators and Imikandi!

Posted: 2006-10-23 01:06am
by The Grim Squeaker
Shroom Man 777 wrote:If the defenses were that much and the Imikandi were still kicking his ass, I think that'd wank out the Imikandi's too much.
You are talking about beings that can travell interstellar distances at FTL speeds without spaceships, and were each capable of Handing Samurai Jack (The machine gun deflecting guy who hears snowflakes falling) his ass easily.
They're Medium end Anime wank in canon, and this group is lead by an experienced Hunter :P.
I mean, even Preds would run away from that.
Which was the case here, Pred's will leave an Alien Hive or Alien infected planet (And abandon Queen hunting) if it gets fucked up.
They're hunters with a strict code of behaviour, not suicidal Klingons ;).
If you rationalized it with the automated defenses being pattern based, not directly tracking the Imikandis
Weaponry arrays (Anti personnel, automated, short range, atmospheric low yield only class(s)) whilst maintaining the cloak and opening a sliver....
In the meantime the ships weapons had begun to (Partially) charge and to function
I saw only some as pattern based, but the weapons were low level, and barely charged.
(Remember AOTC? - You don't want to blow yourself up, and the Yautja have the wrist-band for that anyway).
(if they could evade Pred helmet sensors, maybe they could evade the sensors on the automated defenses - which could be separate from the ship's main sensors). But that's just me.
They are incredibly hard to track, have a level of "skill" that clearly shows some sort of "magic".
They can literally See a chosen targets footprint and travel through space [From the episode]. It's a bit more than simple skill ;).
They did evade the weapons to a degree, but the points about the weapons barely functioning and not being charged were their for a reason, the ship could have let loose a weapon for use in space and vapourized everyone there, but why do that if you don't see the need for a last stand?
The parenthesises and hyphens are pretty okay, by me. :P
I'll try to reduce it, my next few chapters of another fic have almost none, and are written in a different style.
(Though poorer in some ways of writing & Prose, but it's more related in terms of prose & Syntax to 2 fic writers here on SD)

Posted: 2006-10-23 01:09am
by The Grim Squeaker
LadyTevar wrote:All the parathensis were distracting to my opinion.
Thank you very much for the comment (You to Shroom for saying it first), I'll try to keep an eye on that next time.
(I didn't notice it [Until now], but I do remember my English teacher commenting on it before I finished English years ago).

Also, did anyone here other than myself know what the Imakandi where prior to the fic?
Was the explanation (at the start) enough, or would something more detailed (Such as a detailed episode summary) help much more? Or would it be to "OP"-ish :?:

Posted: 2006-10-23 01:12am
by Shroom Man 777
Aside from the teleportation, did you see the Imikandi pull out obscene anime wank moves when handling Samurai Jack? The depiction of Jack routinely varies from the humanly possible to the insanely obscene.

As for the weapons, fair enough. I can dig that. And if a skilled Pred can dodge minigun fire, I'm sure Broken Tusk can pull out his own fair share of obscene alien jiujitsu.

The footprint seeing-thing could be rationalized through pheromones, and other non-magical stuff.

Posted: 2006-10-23 01:23am
by The Grim Squeaker
Shroom Man 777 wrote:Aside from the teleportation, did you see the Imikandi pull out obscene anime wank moves when handling Samurai Jack?
Remember the animated CW shorts Where Grevious was outrunning the emergency escape Elevator going down the Coruscant Skyscraper from the Chancellors office?
The Imakandi did the same thing (Only with Jack staring at them, and him not having a Rocket launcher handy).
They also had various showings of obscene agility, good jumping, balance and combat skills/speed (They outran futuristic Hover-cars with ease).
The depiction of Jack routinely varies from the humanly possible to the insanely obscene.
That was quite a good showing, and they took him down in a few seconds flat at start before mentioning Aku and causing Jack to Give his absolute best (And still get taken down hard again when they managed to corner him a few minutes [and kilometers] later).
As for the weapons, fair enough. I can dig that. And if a skilled Pred can dodge minigun fire, I'm sure Broken Tusk can pull out his own fair share of obscene alien jiujitsu.
Yup, and the case is even more valid since the Pred partially dodged the shooter and still got hit by the mini-gun fire.
The footprint seeing-thing could be rationalized through pheromones, and other non-magical stuff.
From someone who'm they'd only seen in a magic vision beforehand? (That would make it magic pheromones ;))
And what about the whole FTL unaided thing? :P

Posted: 2006-10-23 01:47am
by Shroom Man 777
Uhhh....darn.

Now, I want Broken Tusks to pull out his own obsceneties. Everything from those shurikens in the AvP movie to...hell, even tossing them wrist-nukes of his! RAR! Predator knife fighting!

Posted: 2006-10-23 01:52am
by The Grim Squeaker
Shroom Man 777 wrote:Uhhh....darn.

Now, I want Broken Tusks to pull out his own obsceneties. Everything from those shurikens in the AvP movie
You want bad-ass Preds and a mention of the AvP Movie? :P
to...hell, even tossing them wrist-nukes of his!
Er barring orbit and a very long timer the wrist-nukes aren't useful as grenades. For all we know that may tie into an additional device hidden on his form.
RAR! Predator knife fighting!
Cl

Posted: 2006-10-23 10:39am
by Shroom Man 777
In AvP, which was a horrible movie, the Pred was able to chuck his wrist-bomb.

We need a central Imikandi character too.

Posted: 2006-10-23 11:14am
by The Grim Squeaker
Shroom Man 777 wrote:In AvP, which was a horrible movie, the Pred was able to chuck his wrist-bomb.
With the normal Nuclear bomb level explosion? I don't remember that part...
We need a central Imikandi character too.
We have one

“Brothers, you have all seen the Desecration committed today” Shouted the tallest of the Imakandi to the gathering,
“One of the sacred plain beasts preserved for ritual hunts has been slain by weapons, not by tooth and claw nor captured by the tools of the hunt. And it was slain for sport, not for the challenge, and by powerful hunters. And these so called “Hunters”, these amateur predators of plainbeasts did this without call nor grant on our planet, our plain, Our Domain!”

The tribe Roared in reply.
“Let us hunt down these beings and show them their error, should they show themselves to be but misguided, unknowing fools and skillful they shall be released to winnow out the lesser prey of the universe, and if not – Their pelts shall line my tomb, This I vow by my pack blood and lineage from Skarj Olfag, and by my name of Mazaj Olfag!”

The Tribe roared even harder in reply, and began to dance over and through the fire heating the passions of the blood and preparing for The Hunt.

;)

Posted: 2006-11-04 01:00pm
by Shroom Man 777
When's the updates?

Posted: 2006-11-04 01:05pm
by The Grim Squeaker
Shroom Man 777 wrote:When's the updates?
Theres some time still, I haven't even started writing it (And after writing it I'll need to copy it to my pc).
I'm having a bit of a case of writers block, still I'm sure that I'll "whip" up some chapters during class over the next week. (Frankly I'm more interested in "4th war" but I'm not sure how to introduce Kurse)

Posted: 2006-11-08 07:17am
by The Grim Squeaker
Shroom Man 777 wrote:When's the updates?
The story continues in "Predator vs Carnivore"