More girl issues

[PainRack]

Jacky cheung sings it the best.

On one hand is friendship, on the other is love.
The decision between both sides is making me very vexed.


Howedar, no matter what you do or what the cosquences are, remember, there's always some other poor git out there who got it worse than you did....................................

[Darth Wong]

I know all too well about missed opportunities. But it is a bit naive to think that all situations like this will have a happy ending.

So? Your suggested course of inaction would not have a happy ending either. As Waynze Gretzky pointed out, you will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

[muse]

It is a gamble, and you have to be prepared for the worst. Even if you have everything stacked in your favor, you have to be prepared to lose it all. If your not prepared to lose it all, I dont think its worth the risk. I guess thats what I have been trying to say.

Of course it's a gamble, but so is everything else in life. you could be struck dead by a power surge while typing on your computer for all you know. The only sure bets in life is that nothing is for certain and that your life will end one day, all else is up in the air.

[Bob the Gunslinger]

Maybe I'm lucky; none of the females I'm friends with mind the fact that I check out their boobs regularly. It's harmless, nothing comes of it.. And it lets them know they look good.

Once you get married you might want to change your tactics. Nothing spells "morality conflict" more than a married man checking out other girls' boobs, especially if they're friends with your wife.

Unless you have one of those kinds of marriage.

[RedImperator]

Sometimes shit just doesn't work out. You have to accept that and move on. At no point did I ever say it would all work out happily. What I have been saying is that you have to take chances sometimes, and if it all spirals down the shitter, well, that sucks but that's life, too. Life gets awfully dull and grey if you make avoiding risk your guiding philosophy.

It is a gamble, and you have to be prepared for the worst. Even if you have everything stacked in your favor, you have to be prepared to lose it all. If your not prepared to lose it all, I dont think its worth the risk. I guess thats what I have been trying to say.

I could "lose it all" walking across the street if I get hit by a bus. You can't go through life refusing to take any action that carries an infitesimal risk of catastrophe. Well, you can, but I promise you it will be lonely and boring. Nobody sits on his deathbed and congratulates himself on how well he avoided risk.

[RedImperator]

Maybe I'm lucky; none of the females I'm friends with mind the fact that I check out their boobs regularly. It's harmless, nothing comes of it.. And it lets them know they look good.

Once you get married you might want to change your tactics. Nothing spells "morality conflict" more than a married man checking out other girls' boobs, especially if they're friends with your wife.

Unless you have one of those kinds of marriage.

Actually, I have it on good authority (meaning: I've seen him personally do it) that Darth Wong unashamedly checks out the asses of other women, despite his own status as a married man who regularly fucks his wife's ass. So I don't think it does any harm, as long as you're not a jerk about it (don't stare, don't make it obvious right in front of her, hands to yourself, etc.)

[El Moose Monstero]

I see the old man do it all the time, not really outright perving, but certainly appreciating an attractive woman when he sees one, mum's attitude is indulgent tolerance, it's a good relationship.

[Macross]

I know all too well about missed opportunities. But it is a bit naive to think that all situations like this will have a happy ending.

So? Your suggested course of inaction would not have a happy ending either. As Waynze Gretzky pointed out, you will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

But it does leave you without the heartache and pain.

[His Divine Shadow]

But it does leave you without the heartache and pain.

No it doesn't.

[Macross]

I could "lose it all" walking across the street if I get hit by a bus. You can't go through life refusing to take any action that carries an infitesimal risk of catastrophe. Well, you can, but I promise you it will be lonely and boring. Nobody sits on his deathbed and congratulates himself on how well he avoided risk.

True, but nobody deliberatly wants to get by a bus either. And, if you survive getting hit by a bus, would you really want to go through that experiance again?

[Uraniun235]

But it does leave you without the heartache and pain.

Look, man. I've been shot down five times over the past nine months and haven't ever had a girlfriend. But I'm still willing to take the plunge and go after girls, because there's so little to lose compared to how much there is to gain.

And the uncertainty of not knowing for sure whether or not a given girl would have shot me down is a lot worse for me than at least knowing she did.

[Macross]

But it does leave you without the heartache and pain.

Look, man. I've been shot down five times over the past nine months and haven't ever had a girlfriend. But I'm still willing to take the plunge and go after girls, because there's so little to lose compared to how much there is to gain.

And the uncertainty of not knowing for sure whether or not a given girl would have shot me down is a lot worse for me than at least knowing she did.

I have never had a girlfriend either, never been on a real date, and I turn 26 next month. Every girl I have ever been interested in has shot me down, rejected me, or told me "I just want to be friends." When you hear these words often enough, you grow tired of hearing it. Whats worse, is that you come to expect it, and it becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy. You say, what will I do to mess this up and drive me back to that feeling of rejection. You get used to that feeling, and you dont feel normal without it. You ask yourself, whats wrong with me? What do they see in me that I cant see in myself? Am I really such an ugly person physically and mentally? You over analyze yourself and become critical of everything that you do, finding fault in everything. You hope that if you change one thing or another, someone will accept you. That wont work either. So I tried being myself and put the whole thing out of my mind, and that seemed to work. I met someone and we became fast friends. But, when my friend rejected me, four years ago, it was the single worst experiance in my life, I spiraled down into a deep depression. My friends tried to engourage me by saying "Dont worry, its not your time yet." Well you grow tired of waiting as you watch your friends, cousins and classmates get married, and start familys around you.

In the four years since this happened, I have not met a single woman that I have been overly attracted too. At least not enough to take a risk of being hurt again. Why? Because I choose not to feel that way about anyone. Other things, like completeing my college education is more important to me. All I know of relationships is rejection..

[Bob the Gunslinger]

I have never had a girlfriend either, never been on a real date, and I turn 26 next month. Every girl I have ever been interested in has shot me down, rejected me, or told me "I just want to be friends." When you hear these words often enough, you grow tired of hearing it. Whats worse, is that you come to expect it, and it becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy. You say, what will I do to mess this up and drive me back to that feeling of rejection. You get used to that feeling, and you dont feel normal without it. You ask yourself, whats wrong with me? What do they see in me that I cant see in myself? Am I really such an ugly person physically and mentally? You over analyze yourself and become critical of everything that you do, finding fault in everything. You hope that if you change one thing or another, someone will accept you. That wont work either. So I tried being myself and put the whole thing out of my mind, and that seemed to work. I met someone and we became fast friends. But, when my friend rejected me, four years ago, it was the single worst experiance in my life, I spiraled down into a deep depression. My friends tried to engourage me by saying "Dont worry, its not your time yet." Well you grow tired of waiting as you watch your friends, cousins and classmates get married, and start familys around you.

In the four years since this happened, I have not met a single woman that I have been overly attracted too. At least not enough to take a risk of being hurt again. Why? Because I choose not to feel that way about anyone. Other things, like completeing my college education is more important to me. All I know of relationships is rejection..

I highly suggest you go after women you don't really have any attachment to. Just try asking out cute women you meet around town or at parties. You'll get something like 10 rejections for every acceptance, but you'll build experience and perhaps you'll be so unfazed by the rejection as to be cavalier around women.
You just need to show that she'll have a good time with you and she'll want to. Don't make it about a relationship or emotional needs, because that can be off-putting, or that type of woman will already have a boyfriend.
Just be yourself and go for experience.

You might also want to change your tactics. When I was in HS/College, I tried going for relationships and had a very low success rate. At some point, I went "screw this" and just dated with the goal of "getting some."
Bam! I kicked it up a notch! As long as I was being fun (and as seductive as a Math Nerd can be), I had no lack of dates. (I was also as tenacious as a terrier about getting dates with attractive women.) But I also never crossed that line from "fun and games" to "lifetime movie of the week"-- I always respected "No" and/or rejection.

The best advice ever given to me about advancing a relationship: "You can't always be too sensitive or you'll be seen as passive. Sometimes you have to be a jerk." (As this quote is out of context I will note that "jerk" did not mean "rapist," "stalker" or "manipulator." Just that it means the kind of guy who says "I really want to kiss you.." but not as corny.)

[Shark Bait]

I have no less than six female friends who consider me their “brother” of sorts they all say “Oh I love you” meaning that they love how I drop everything for them when they have a problem because I’m a fool. About 3 of them I have wound up liking each time I ask one of them I get a response that I’m too much of a friend. This is because I’m an idiot freak who can’t feel attracted to someone unless I know them on a personal level, but by the time I do that they usually have a boyfriend. Hell on occasion I’ve wound up helping girls I like on a moderately deep level hook up with a guy they like, then had the extreme displeasure of having them give me graphic descriptions of what happened with said guy. I’ve had a total of 2 girlfriends both have left me because they are not sure they are straight anymore, quickly followed by the “lets be friends” speech. The second time this happened it had been after dating for a very long time. After that my sex drive completely died so I am that idiot best friend that wishes desperately for a close female companion but is limited to being merely their slave boy. Of course a few weeks ago after finally coming to terms with all of this I met the perfect girl who is perfect save one little problem she’s 16 and the niece of a teacher I have the utmost respect for, and I’m leaving in August I’m going across the country to attend the University of Tampa. So I too know such maddening pain.

[Ghost Rider]

Oi vey...please read the Annoucements

Locking.