How Stravo Got His Groove Back

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-03-07 03:46pm

Hmm, interesting. Not what I was expecting. Will have to read again.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2004-03-07 05:08pm

*Laughs fucking head off*

Oh man, I love it.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2004-03-07 05:14pm

Veyr nice, Kuja. Very nice.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2004-03-07 05:48pm

errr ..... that was .... weird, to say the least. Since i don't like frineds that much i'm guessing that's why i didn't laugh as much as i normally do reading Groove.
However as a Pawn of Chaos i must say, very eavily done

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-03-07 08:31pm

*blinks... raises an eyebrow*

Eh, works for me. A good one Kuja, the short "Explosives? Explosives." part was good, so was the "YES, THERE IS A GOD! ... And he absolutly despises me." All in all pretty good... and ABOUT F-ING TIME YOU POSTED SOMETHING!

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-03-13 02:07am

Part 38: It's Like Killing Jesus

DALTON: Any luck?

KUJA: Nope.

STRAVO: What was that explosion we heard?

CYRAN: Probably from the little spat going on out there.

*he gestures to the window, where GODZILLA and MECHAGODZILLA are still grappling*

LT: So nobody found anything?

ZAIA: No luck here.

LT: Next floor!

*they charge up the stairs*

KUJA: Hey loot?

LT: Yeah?

KUJA: How many floors are there in this building?

LT: Forty.

KUJA: OK, so we're three-quarters done. Shouldn't take much-

ZAIA: Er, that's a three, Kuj. Not a thirty.

KUJA: ......boy, you know, I've got this pain in the leg-

STRAVO: And I've got a pain in the back, and it's you. Now move it!

*the group runs around the floor, opening and closing various doors, until CYRAN gets to one*

CYRAN: Whoa!

KUJA: What?

CYRAN: C'mere!

*KUJA runs over*

KUJA: Dude.

*a pair of hot women are all over each other in the middle of the room and haven't noticed the interruption. Quick zoom-in on KUJA'S face, kind of like Stifler's in American Pie 2*

KUJA: ...lesbians!

DALTON: Later, guys. We've got work to do.

KUJA: But...dude!

LT: Later! We're a little pressed for time, remember?

*a thud. The building shakes a bit*

KUJA: But...but...dude!

DALTON: I know, but not now!

*KUJA gesticulates wildly*

KUJA: But...............dude!

STRAVO: Kuj, later!

KUJA: Screw all of you!

*he attempts to barge in but is immediately wrestled down by the others. DALTON starts to close the door, takes one quick look, nods, then finishes*

STRAVO: Calm down!

KUJA: I can't! Two chicks at the same time!

ZAIA: His brain's overloaded.

CYRAN: I knew this would happen.

LT: And you called him over anyway?

ZAIA: I think that's WHY he called him over.

CYRAN: Hehe.

KUJA: I can't just walk away from this! It defies everything I stand for!

DALTON: *snaps fingers* Hose.

*STRAVO hands DALTON a hose and he promptly douses KUJA for a while*

DALTON: Calm?

KUJA: Yeah, I...lesbians!

*another dousing*

DALTON: Now?

KUJA: Yeah.

CYRAN: Hey, I can hear them talking.

*cut to inside the room*

GIRL 1: What's up?

GIRL 2: Oh, I was just thinking how cool it would be if some guy in robes and a pointy hat with lots of supernatural powers joined us.

GIRL 1: You fantasize way too much.

GIRL 2: That's cause you don't fantasize enough.

*sounds of a renewed struggle from the hall. The door shakes and there is that sound of crunching wood*

GIRL 1: What was that?

GIRL 2: Who cares?

*cut to the hallway. KUJA is now bound, gagged, and wrapped in a burlap sack. His eyes dart back and forth and he continues trying to squirm towards the door*

DALTON: Who carries him?

STRAVO: You, Chewie.

DALTON: Wha?

LT: Yeah, it'd be perfect! Just like Chewie and 3PO in Empire Strikes Back!

*they hoist KUJA and strap him to DALTON'S back*

CYRAN: Here, I can even let his arm out-

*KUJA'S arm shoots out and promptly grabs a handful of DALTON'S hair*

DALTON: HHHHHHWWWWAAAAARRRRNNNNNNNNNN!

LT: He even sounds like Chewie!

*they stuff KUJA'S arm back in the sack and start off down the hall, KUJA muttering incoherent threats*

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2004-03-13 05:53am

DUDE, that defys all rules of manhood.

Hehe, nice one, Kuj.

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2004-03-13 07:51am

LOL!

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2004-03-13 10:03am

So does this make Cyran an overweight glob of grease?

Post by **haas mark** » 2004-03-13 10:10am

One word: DUDE!!

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2004-03-13 10:12am

Mark S wrote:So does this make Cyran an overweight glob of grease?

Just now figuring that out, eh?

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-03-13 11:07am

Laughing... too hard... I think I broke something important... Ow...

That was a great chapter Kuja. But that was pretty weak man, you got held down by only that stuff? Wuss... You need to learn how to more appropriately use your spells. You would know how to get out of all that stuff... but I think you were busy with the class hottie during that class.

Post by **haas mark** » 2004-03-13 11:23am

Captain_Cyran wrote:Laughing... too hard... I think I broke something important... Ow...

That was a great chapter Kuja. But that was pretty weak man, you got held down by only that stuff? Wuss... You need to learn how to more appropriately use your spells. You would know how to get out of all that stuff... but I think you were busy with the class hottie during that class.

Kuja + lesbians = no brain.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2004-03-14 07:44pm

Lesbians!

@ Kuja's predicament.

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-03-23 01:42am

Part 39: Stairs Suck

*open up on the group dashing up a long series of stairs*

KUJA: Mmf! Mmf! Mmf! Mmf! Mmf!

CYRAN: Getting a bit motion sick, Kuj?

KUJA: Mmrf.

DALTON: Too bad! You brought it on yourself!

CYRAN: Hey, I'd help you out, but I'm afraid you'd puke all over me.

KUJA: Mmrf!

CYRAN: Hehe. Sorry, you say something?

KUJA: Mmrfmrph.

CYRAN: Maybe I should take the gag out, oh wait, I can't right now. Sorry.

KUJA: Mrrmph frgh mrrf!

ZAIA: How much farther?

LT: Top floor's twenty more stories!

STRAVO: Why...can't...we...take...the...elevator?

LT: It'll be rigged.

STRAVO: How...do...you...know?

LT: Elevators are always rigged.

ZAIA: So why are we cutting right to the top?

LT: Bad guys are always at the top!

CYRAN: Yeah, to fuel their egos.

ZAIA: Really?

KUJA: Mmhm.

STRAVO: How much...farther...now?

LT: Nineteen stories to go, big guy.

STRAVO: Not...gonna...make it.

DALTON: You're gonna make it even if I have to haul your carcass up there!

STRAVO: Okay... *he collapses* Drag me.

DALTON: Asshole, you know I didn't mean that literally!

STRAVO: Can't...take...another...step...

DALTON: Cyran, you're up!

CYRAN: Leave it to me!

*CYRAN shocks STRAVO, who promptly jumps up and begins running again. Unnoticed, one tendril sets fire to the sack holding KUJA*

KUJA: MMRF! MMF!

DALTON: Shut up!

*he smacks KUJA in the back of the head. The group continues running*

ZAIA: For far do these bloody things go?

LT: Ten more levels.

STRAVO: Now...I know...what Hell's...got waiting...for me.

DALTON: Heh.

*cut to a door at the end of a hallway. The door bursts open and everyone barges out of the stairwell, breathing hard. STRAVO collapses again. ZAIA leans against the wall. KUJA, meanwhile, has worked a hole in the burned side of the bag and has his arm out, trying to swipe at CYRAN. Frustrated, KUJA pulls his arm back, rummages for a second, and then sticks it back out holding his sledgehammer. He aims and swings, but DALTON turns and the sledge smashes a vending machine instead. Everyone spins*

DALTON: What the hell was that?

ZAIA: It exploded!

CYRAN: Did you see, Kuj?

KUJA: *disoriented from the quick spin* Mmrf?

CYRAN: Hey, how did this rip get here?

*KUJA shakes his head to recover, then clocks CYRAN on the jaw and knocks him over*

CYRAN: Asshole!

KUJA: Mmph mmrf!

DALTON: All right, I'll let you out.

*he unties KUJA, who promptly whacks CYRAN a second time*

DALTON: Stop that, dammit! Strav, help me out here!

STRAVO: Don't ever...wanna...see more stairs...as long...as I live.

DALTON: You're so useless.

ZAIA: I want a vacation.

*a rumble*

LT: Watch out!

*the building suddenly shakes. GODZILLA roars*

LT: Vacation later! Kick ass now!

*everyone charges down the hall, except STRAVO, who staggers*

KUJA: Cyran?

CYRAN: Yeah?

KUJA: Better get that gun ready.

CYRAN: Shouldn't I get to the front of the group first?

KUJA: No.

CYRAN: But then I'll-

KUJA: Exactly.

CYRAN: But-

KUJA: Just do it and maybe I'll stop hitting you and MAYBE I'll think about giving you a ride home.

CYRAN: Yes, sahib.

Post by **haas mark** » 2004-03-23 01:51am

Post #666 in this thread.

Anyhow, funny as always.

Liked the Stravo parts.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2004-03-23 08:30am

Hahahahaha, nice.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-03-23 10:18pm

That was a good one Kuja. "Yes, sahib." Hehehe.

Elheru Aran · Post by **Elheru Aran** » 2004-03-24 09:06pm

Very nice indeed... I spent two hours last night reading that. Was laughin' so hard I cried a few times... hilarious!

Anyways, continue the good work, Kuja! Lookin' forwards to more...

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-03-29 10:53pm

Yay! More story!

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-04-01 01:27am

Interlude Number Whatever: Nothing Breeds Insanity Like Repetition

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

KUJA: Pete and Repeat were standing on a bridge. Pete fell off. Who was left?

CYRAN: Repeat.

DALTON: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

STRAVO: And for those who made it here, happy April Fool's Day!

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-04-01 03:12am

First post, mwahahahaha!

Post by **haas mark** » 2004-04-01 10:09am

Bored? Writer's Block? Both?

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2004-04-01 03:58pm

Recursion: see recursion

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-04-02 01:24am

verilon wrote: Bored? Writer's Block? Both?

Date.