How do you handle tailgaters?

Lancer · Post by **Lancer** » 2004-04-25 03:20pm

YT300000 wrote:Sometimes I give them the finger. But there are usually far more inventive things to do. Lets just say that you don't want to tailgate any car I'm riding in.

I want an APC from Aliens. Try tailgating that thing

Arthur_Tuxedo · Post by **Arthur_Tuxedo** » 2004-04-25 03:37pm

One idea I've entertained for giving bad drivers their just desserts is to carry around a paintball pistol (one that could never be mistaken for a real gun in a million years) and load it with a type of paintball that will splatter on impact and won't wash off.

Driving like a retard? Well guess what asshole, now you have to scrape paint off your windshield with a razor and your paintjob is ruined!

The only catch is to make sure your car is way faster than theirs in case they get so angry they start shooting at you or try to run you off the road.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2004-04-25 04:12pm

One thing I've thought about a lot but never got around to doing is to mount a pair of 50-75W halogen spotlights near the bottom corners of the rear window. The spotlights will be aimed back and slightly in to blind tailgaters, and they'll be activated by a button by the driver somewhere. Anyone who wants to tailgate me will be blinded unless it's broad daylight.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2004-04-25 04:22pm

I just thought of something. Explosive caltrops.

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2004-04-25 04:28pm

That is an interesting question Wong.

Typically, and this relates to an incident about a year ago, I slow down. I tap the brakes, and box them in. Usually I can't even see thier headlights, they get that close! So I fuck with them. Then when it looks like who ever was unfortunate enough to play box in with me starts slowing down as to get away, i begin to creep up knowing my tailgater will try and pass. Then as soon as I see them 'twitch' I gas it and out race them to the next patch of slow cars. Flash your overpriced head lights again BITCH!

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2004-04-25 05:06pm

I would rig my truck with a large automatic paintball or Airsoft weapon, preferably a Gatling-type on a servomotor swivel mounted to a post in the truck bed, making it a 'Technical' just like these jolly good fellows and their Chevy Silverado. Then I'll rig it up to a joystick control in the trundle seat behind the passenger seat. I can also coaxially attach a Big-Rig horn to the gun, so I can blast them with the horn if i want. If they don't get that message I can aim the gun at the damn tailgater and spin up the barrels...

Arthur_Tuxedo · Post by **Arthur_Tuxedo** » 2004-04-25 05:35pm

Cal Wright wrote:That is an interesting question Wong.

Typically, and this relates to an incident about a year ago, I slow down. I tap the brakes, and box them in. Usually I can't even see thier headlights, they get that close! So I fuck with them. Then when it looks like who ever was unfortunate enough to play box in with me starts slowing down as to get away, i begin to creep up knowing my tailgater will try and pass. Then as soon as I see them 'twitch' I gas it and out race them to the next patch of slow cars. Flash your overpriced head lights again BITCH!

That's incredibly dangerous. You really shouldn't do that. I'm normally a pretty easy-going guy but one time this guy decided he didn't like me (I was in a hurry and driving over 100 mph, but wasn't tailgating anyone and was trying to mitigate the danger I was creating by driving extra safe in every other manner) and did what you described. I was so angry I checked the glovebox to see if the revolver was there. Thankfully, it wasn't. But if I can be driven angry to the point of murder, then so can most other people.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2004-04-25 05:59pm

As funny as some of the replies are on here, theres quite a bit of bad advise. You're better off not risking an incident and just letting them go. Getting revenge on someone being a dickhead is not worth the risk of getting shot at. Sure, you get to have a little fun with the moron, but if they're that damn close then they can get your plate number and find out where you live and who knows what they might do.

Now that being said, I'm of the mindset to just toss out roadapples in plastic bags (the kind used to carry individual fruit & veggies) and just toss it out the back window. If you're lucky, it'll hit their front grill. The force of the impact will shred the plastic and the horse turd will splatter all over the inside of the engine leaving the asshole with a very stinky car.....and if you're really lucky, the'll have their vents open and get a nice whiff of it.

If you can't find any roadapples, dogshit will work nicely.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-04-25 06:04pm

Back when i still had a car, i'd simply wait until the person passed by or was out of sight to do anything vulgar. While i have no issues giving someone a piece of my mind in public if they deserve it, i'd much rather not do it in vehicles going 60 miles an hour. No reason to take idiotic chances after all.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-04-25 06:26pm

I ususally just box them in with a semi. On a one-lane road (especially a windy one) when they are blinding me with their headlights, I'll just go 10-15 under.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2004-04-25 07:04pm

I do the same thing I did when this huge bus almost killed me.

So I'm on a fast-speed coast road (80 km/s or so) and this HUGE bus full of stupid children just gets on my side, and starts changing lanes WITH ME ON ITS FUCKING SIDE (this is a regular custom where I live, long trucks and buses don't really care much if they've got a small car on the side). He didn't even wait to pass me, and I hit the brakes and the klaxon and barely made it to the back of the bus before he drove me out of the road (and into the chasm, long fall down to rocks and water). I could see the stupid kids in the bus sniggering at me, that really infuriated me... but I kept my cool, saw an opening and passed the bus, then came next to a really slow car that was on the left lane and matched his speed.

I did that for like 15 minutes, going at 30/hour and the bus was just changing lanes wildly trying to pass me. At some point an innocent car arrived, so I accelerated a bit to make an opening, waited for this car to pass us and then re-closed the hole as soon as the stupid bus driver tried to get in.

Damn lunatic murderers.

The Aliens · Post by **The Aliens** » 2004-04-25 07:09pm

Slow way the fuck down, but do it gently enough that they don't slam into you. By the time you've got down to about 40kph they overtake and they bcome an SEP.

That's Somebody Else's Problem, for you non-Douglas Adams enthusiasts.

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2004-04-26 01:40am

Darth Wong wrote:Just in case this particular form of slang is not universal, tailgaters are those FUCKING IDIOTS who follow your car so closely that their headlights appear to fill your entire rear-view mirror.

Do you slow down? Ignore them? Hit the brakes? Give them the finger? I'm just curious what the mixture of response tactics is.

Well there are a variety of tactics I like to use, just to have some fun. There is the slow down/accelerate tactic, just when he thinks you are speading up, you ease off the accelerator and slow down again, very nerve racking.

There is the box them in tactic. I like to be slightly in front of the car next to me, just to give the fucker some hope that I will speed up eventually.

There is the 'slow merge' tactic, where you begin to get out of the tailgaters lane, but ever so slowly, it infuriates the fuck out of them. Mixed with this tactic is the 'I changed my mind about merging' where halfway into the changing lanes, you decide you know what I can't really fit here, and get infront of the tailgater again (use this with caution).

And of course the classic 'tap brakes' tactic.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2004-04-26 02:47am

Honestly, If I'm going slower than the guy behind me I'll just let them pass - I *will* get out of the way before it becomes a tailgating incident.

Besides, I try and pay as much attention to what is in front of me as to what is coming up behind me AND what is on either side of me.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-04-26 03:36am

/me wonders about the fesability of putting an air horn on my Camaro...

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2004-04-26 11:34am

When I was in college, I had a VW bus. One day, I pulled out into traffic, and one fellow zoomed up behind me like a bat out of Hell. He then tailed me, apparently upset that I dared to pull out in front of him. I let off the gas and eventually came to a stop (this was on a highway, so the fellow could have easily passed me at any time). He got out of his vehicle to confront me. I resumed my course. He hopped back in and began tailgating me again. Once again, I slowed to a stop. Once again, he dismounted to confront me, and again I resumed my course. Evidently, he had had enough, so he shot around me, gesturing with his finger and an angry face. I smiled at him good-naturedly and waved.

My uncle had an interesting tactic. When a tailgater came up, he would slow down and swerve slightly. When the offender began passing and glancing over to shout an obsenity, my uncle would feign sleep, complete with drool from the corner of the mouth. The offender's face would magically transform from rage to an "O" of surprise and alarm, and he would zoom quickly ahead to place as much distance between himself and my "sleeping" uncle as possible.

EmperorChrostas the Cruel · Post by **EmperorChrostas the Cruel** » 2004-04-26 03:51pm

In my younger dumber days I installed an aftermarket window washer with water resivour in my trunk, and ran a line through the trunk so it would spray onto the muffler. I would then mix solvent, detergent, water, and used motor oil in the tank. The resulting steamy oily cloud coming out from under my car made it look like I was having an ongoing major engine malfunction, and would make the car behind me filthy. (road dirt stuck wonderfully to this shit before it dried)It would also goober his windshield up past the washer's ability to clean it, making him stop soon to clean the gunk off at a gas station. I would pretend not to notice, and the other drivers would just assume I was driving a piece of shit badly in need of service, never even suspspecting malicious intent on my part.
I would speed up slightly to pass any cars on my right, pull over, and the asshole would assume that I was accelerating to get out of his way, but my engine wasn't up to the task.

Slowing down and pulling over would do the trick as well, if not better!

(Two speeds on the water pump, and I used the higher speed when slowing down!)

Bob the Gunslinger · Post by **Bob the Gunslinger** » 2004-04-26 04:27pm

The Kernel wrote:
Joe wrote:Actually, the kind of car the asshole is driving has a lot to do with it also. If he's driving say, a BMW, well then I'll be damned if I'm not gonna draw that shit out and really fuck with the dickhead.
Drug dealers and other people who carry guns drive BMW's too. Especially in places like LA where it is best to just let the asshole by rather than start an incident.

I can tell you that this is true. My wife and I were chased by gangsters after she flipped them off, and they followed us, trying to pull alongside us (I'd gess to shoot us) at speeds over 80 mph in a residential area and even followed us into the parking lot of a police station. Fortunately, they saw all the cop cars and sped off before doing anything violent, but it was quite scary.
Another time, in Oakland, we were chased for a few blocks (you know they're chasing you when they pull over to let you pass, turn on their brights and then tailgate so close you can't see their license plate), just for making a "stinky fart" gesture, as one of the passengers had farted.

To this day, I get extremely nervous if anyone in my car flips off another driver. You just never know.

Hamel · Post by **Hamel** » 2004-04-26 04:34pm

Lots of drunk driver assholes down here. I wouldn't dare piss them off. Letting them be on their way is the only safe option.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-04-26 05:07pm

Ah, the joys of living in a society where the ideal method of encouraging good social behaviour is Fear of the Gun.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2004-04-26 06:45pm

I'll never forget that idiot who was tailing me during a winter storm. It was so bad that I was following a truck. He passed and gave me the finger while he drove by! A few minutes later I saw his car in the ditch! Ha!

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2004-04-26 10:45pm

Slow down.

Fuck the asshole.

I don't need loonies crowding my ass.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2004-04-26 11:07pm

If it's on the highway, I usually just change lanes. It's not worth the bother trying to teach him a lesson.

If I can't change lanes or it's a two-lane road, well, then fuck him. I'll keep going whatever speed I'm at, and if I have to stop suddenly, that's his loss. Sometimes I will tap the brakes if he's REALLY up my ass just to get him to back up to the point he'll have some reasonable chance of stopping if I have to. I don't need to have my car in the shop for a month becase some jerkoff rammed me. Not to mention it's a small car and I'm not likely to come out of any accident particularly well.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2004-04-27 01:19am

Darth Wong wrote:Ah, the joys of living in a society where the ideal method of encouraging good social behaviour is Fear of the Gun.

Recommended course of action here in Houston...I've already been shot at once.

Kintaro · Post by **Kintaro** » 2004-04-27 02:03am

EmperorMing wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Ah, the joys of living in a society where the ideal method of encouraging good social behaviour is Fear of the Gun.
Recommended course of action here in Houston...I've already been shot at once.

Mother fucking shit! What the hell is wrong with these bastards? This is driving for fuck's sake, not some fucking war!

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

How do you handle tailgaters?

How do you respond to a tailgating asshole?

Re: How do you handle tailgaters?