Payne vs. GTAIII

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-22 05:06am

Don't know if this has been done before, but here goes:

Max Payne is in Liberty City, and he's taken it upon himself to clean the place up. All the drive of a man with nothing left to lose powers him as he lays waste to the operations of the Leones, the Yakuza, and the Columbians.
This new man on the scene displeases Donald Love. He asks the main character from GTAIII to take care of the situation.

With all of Liberty City at their disposals, and Liberty's Finest harassing them, who kills who?

Crazy_Vasey · Post by **Crazy_Vasey** » 2002-10-22 05:48am

Max Payne reduces GTA3 guy to a greasy spot on the floor.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-10-22 07:07am

Tommy Angelo, Paulie and Sammy from Mafia own them both with massed thompson fire from a moving armoured limosine.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-10-22 09:09am

Payne rips through like a black cat at a mouse factory in a spree of bad lines but excellent action

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2002-10-22 11:25am

GTA guy dies in excruciating payn.

Yogi · Post by **Yogi** » 2002-10-22 11:43am

Both side fighting at their best? Payne engineers a disturbance by tossing hand grenades near Donald Love's house. When he comes out, it's sniper rifle time.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2002-10-22 02:19pm

"They start fighting, but then team up to fight drugs together. Winners don't use drugs."

That's the best voting option, so I had to pick it.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2002-10-22 03:18pm

Payne whups that guys ass. He goes bullet time on him and does a matrix.

Or depending on what mod your playing:

Payne opens up a can of Kung-fu whupass
Payne decapitates him with a katana
Payne slices him up with a lightsabre
Payne opens up with the Hurricane auto-matic grenade launcher
Payne is naked and makes the other guy puke his guts out

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2002-10-22 03:18pm

Payne wins

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2002-10-22 05:25pm

GTA guy in Rhino > Max Payne on foot

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-22 06:05pm

"Winners don't use drugs."

Peace!

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-22 07:38pm

It's true that Payne has the edge in combat on foot, but I doubt his skills as a wheel-man are comparable. And while Payne can bend time to his will, so can GTA3 guy, with the help of those pills. The effect lasts longer, but is not as severe.
I imagine the fight going something like this:

Payne is busy single-handedly destroying the Columbian Cartel down at Pan-Lantic Construction. GTA Man races in, driving a Sentinel, prepared to end this with his patented Hit-And-RunTM. Payne uses a Bullet-TimeTM dive to get out of the way of the speeding vehicle. Mid-air, he twists and fires his Colt Commando at the car, quickly igniting the fuel tanks.
GTA Man screeches the car to a halt and hops out, Uzi blaring. Payne effortlessly dodges the oncoming bullets and returns fire. GTA Man takes a bullet to the kevlar vest and determines that this guy is more than he had anticipated. He turns tail and sprints to the street, looking for more a more desirable combat arena. Payne, no stranger to the hunt, gives chase.
GTA Man quickly spots a Stinger and 'jacks it, recklessly driving away and running over two pedestrians. This angers Payne, as he only kills crooks and hobos. The incident also attracts the attention of a nearby Police Cruiser, but instead of racing after GTA Man, the cops jump out of the car and rush Payne.
Payne ignores the law's pleas to submit, and runs. The cops follow suit, informing him, "You are risking your life!" They then open fire, but Payne has found an unattended Manana, which he promptly commandeers.
Payne rushes off in the direction that GTA Man went. Two blocks down, as Payne zips through the intersection, he is broadsided by GTA Man in his Stinger. The Stinger nimbly realigns for another ramming maneuver, and another.
Payne is startled, but quickly regains his composure. He has a few tricks of his own. He deftly moves his car out of the way of one of GTA Man's ramming attempts, leaving GTA Man to plow into the side of a building.
Payne hops out of the battered Manana, levels his Commando, and opens fire. GTA Man's Stinger is quickly engulfed in flames, and GTA Man is forced to dive out. He aims his Uzi at Payne, who in turn aims his Commando at GTA Man, but they both discover that they are out of bullets.
GTA Man turns to run in the direction of AmmuNation for a resupply, but Payne has other plans.
Drawing his bat, Payne rushes after GTA Man. Seeing this, GTA Man unsheathes his bat, and the two engage in an epic baseball bat battle, right in the middle of the intersection. The heated battle rages, and the contestants seem evenly matched, when swooping down between the buildings is an LCPD Helicopter. After issuing a warning, the Helicopter rains machine gun fire on the intersection. The two combatants rush for the safety of a nearby parking garage.
On the way, GTA Man kicks the crap out of a thug on the sidewalk, taking his Nine. He points it at the fleeing Payne, intent to settle this, and then the cops. But Payne, not to be outdone, swiftly reaches into his jacket and produces his trusty Dual Berettas.
Again outmatched, GTA Man sees that he is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He comes to the apt conclusion of "Fuck it," and opens fire on Payne. Payne masterfully cuts GTA Man to ribbons with his pair of Beretta 92FSs.
When GTA Man is released from Carson General Hospital a few hours later, bereft of weapons and some cash, he finds the city to be clean of crime, and he finds Payne waiting for him.
They then team up to fight against drugs, because winners don't use drugs. Except Payne uses a lot of drugs. They ease the pain.
Or maybe the universe implodes, and the two continue their fight in heaven. That would be cool.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2002-10-22 11:55pm

Wow, the visual I just got in my head of that fight is beautiful. I'm going with Treder on this one.

SPOOFE · Post by **SPOOFE** » 2002-10-23 02:44am

Payne wins, for one reason and one reason only: He can see farther in the distance. Load up the sniper rifle, and BLAM!. GTA Guy can't see targets farther away than several hundred meters.

Besides, Max has a name.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-10-23 03:24am

GTA guy on the PC can see farther than we ever do in Max Payne.

Mafia guys can see far further... And in a better looking environment.

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-23 06:06am

weemadando wrote:GTA guy on the PC can see farther than we ever do in Max Payne.

Mafia guys can see far further... And in a better looking environment.

True. And the fact that I'm talking about GTA3 for PC goes without saying...hehe.

I haven't played Mafia yet; haven't found a good rip of it, and the price isn't low enough that I'm going to give away money for it yet. As soon as I do play through it, I'll have to reassess this fight. Same with once I get GTA Vice City for PC.

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2002-10-23 06:09am

SPOOFE wrote:Besides, Max has a name.

Revenge, by any other name, would be as sweet. Besides, as far as gameplay goes, it's pretty cool having the guy not be named.
Then again, with a name, one can make awesomely ridiculous puns: "The pills would ease the pain." (my favorite quote from the game)

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-10-23 06:22am

As far as guys with no name it all goes back to Yojimbo.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-10-23 11:06am

Robert Treder wrote:
SPOOFE wrote:Besides, Max has a name.
Revenge, by any other name, would be as sweet. Besides, as far as gameplay goes, it's pretty cool having the guy not be named.
Then again, with a name, one can make awesomely ridiculous puns: "The pills would ease the pain." (my favorite quote from the game)

The three best lines from Max Payne...

Number Three: The whole Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid conversation between the two mercs.

Number Two: "You eve rnotice how in the really cool action movies, I'm talking the coolest of the cool, how time slows down and you can actually see the bullets..."

And the number one best line from Max Payne: "I was ninja, and my kung-fu was strong..."

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-10-23 12:09pm

Mafia fucking rules, it makes GTA3 look positively sad. Hopefully they make a sequel set in the 60s or something.

But Payne would win against em all. Bullet-time dual beretta action, thank you very much.

Crazy_Vasey · Post by **Crazy_Vasey** » 2002-10-23 12:52pm

weemadando wrote:GTA guy on the PC can see farther than we ever do in Max Payne.

Mafia guys can see far further... And in a better looking environment.

But GTA3 guy just kinda jerks around the screen before dieing (at least on my PC

)

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