Hilarious "pickup" lines

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2004-05-05 12:53pm

Vympel wrote:"I lost my Teddy Bear, can I sleep with you tonight?"

Have you used it?

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-05-05 01:12pm

"Can i pee in your bum?"

while i have not used it, friends of mine have. One time they asked a girl who actually wound up wanting them to do it.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2004-05-05 01:13pm

"I'm cold, can you snuggle up with me & keep me warm?"
The chick punched me in the kidneys for that one.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2004-05-05 03:29pm

"Here's 10p to phone your mother, tell her you won't be home tonight"

Sorry i'm not very good at pick up lines, i'm gay and i don't pussy foot arround. In the bars a go to pulling works like this:

Me - "Hi i'm Stevie"

Him - "I'm <insert name here>"

If he's interested i'll offer to buy him a drink, if not i move on.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2004-05-05 04:47pm

"I smell somethin' stinkin'! It must be you baby, cuz you're the shit!"

The lost Prophet · Post by **The lost Prophet** » 2004-05-05 07:39pm

1. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

2. Nice shoes, wanna f*ck?

3. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

4. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

5. [Look at her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.

OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.

6. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

7. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

8. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

9. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

10. [Grab her tush. ] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

11. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?

12. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

13. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

14. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

15. That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

16. Do you want to see something swell?

17. Hey babe. . . do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

18. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

19. I'd look good on you.

20. I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?

21. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know. ) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart. "

22. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

23. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

24. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

25. HI! Can I buy you a car?

26. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

27. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

28. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum. "

29. Excuse me. Do you want to f*ck or should I apologize?

30. Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?

i got 607 more, PM me if you want them all

Bob the Gunslinger · Post by **Bob the Gunslinger** » 2004-05-05 08:29pm

"How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?"

"You must be a baker, cause you got nice buns."

"Nice shoes, wanna cuddle?"

Lt. Dan · Post by **Lt. Dan** » 2004-05-05 09:24pm

Frank Hipper wrote:"I smell somethin' stinkin'! It must be you baby, cuz you're the shit!"

Ya, 'bout that...

I might use some of the good ones...

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-05-05 11:15pm

Crown wrote:
Zaia wrote:"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."
I fucking dare you to say that to a guy at a club ... better yet let me know where and when and I will be there, in the interest of fair play that is!

Ok, you're on--I will.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-05-05 11:41pm

[backstory: so my friend had this dream where he confronted the general of the devil's armies in a school bus, and after some weird adventures, he ended up in the mansion of a demon lord who had a rather hot daughter. The demon lord was rather pleased to find out that my friend could see his demons and allowed him some, er, special privilages while he stayed in the mansion.]

My friend to the daughter: "Your father said I could partake of you."

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-05-05 11:47pm

Crown wrote:
Have you used it?

No way...

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-05-06 02:10am

Bob the Gunslinger wrote:"Nice shoes, wanna cuddle?"

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2004-05-06 04:02am

Peregrin Toker wrote:
Bob the Gunslinger wrote:"Nice shoes, wanna cuddle?"

Actually i remember that one being, "Nice Shoes, Wanna fuck?

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-05-06 04:50am

at least it's not "how about a freindly exchange of genetic information."

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2004-05-06 09:26am

Lord Pounder wrote:Sorry i'm not very good at pick up lines, i'm gay and i don't pussy foot arround. In the bars a go to pulling works like this:

Me - "Hi i'm Stevie"

Him - "I'm <insert name here>"

If he's interested i'll offer to buy him a drink, if not i move on.

bah, lesbians are even easier.

It's more like:

*break in kissing*
"what's your name then?"
"-insert answer"
*back to kissing*

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2004-05-06 01:17pm

Now that you have everyone's attention:

*Walk up to girl, point at her* "Cool!" *walk off*