Porn Pet Peeves

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

User avatar
THEHOOLIGANJEDI
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1971
Joined: 2002-07-11 03:44pm
Location: Highland Park, New Jersey
Contact:

Porn Pet Peeves

Post by THEHOOLIGANJEDI »

Ever Since I first watched a porn movie there are always things that bothered me about them. What are some pet peeves that bug you when watching porn??

Mine:
-Blow Job scenes that go on too long.
-Pans to the "guys" face. (distracting and off putting)
-Hearing the "guy" orgasm grunts.
-Hot porno chick licking HMA. (whose turned on by that?)
-Staged scenes, orgasms, and cheesy porn music.
-Spitting. Can't some of these girls cum??

Well that's all I have...
Image
Stupid risks are what make life worth living.-Homer Simpson

-PC Load Letter?! What the Fuck does that mean!?!?!- Micheal Bolton
-Bullshit! I'll bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose! - Sgt. Hartman
-I'll bet your the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the Goddamn common courtesy to give him a reacharound!- Sgt. Hartman
User avatar
Anarchist Bunny
Foul, Cruel, and Bad-Tempered Rodent
Posts: 5458
Joined: 2002-07-12 02:08am
Contact:

Post by Anarchist Bunny »

Titties that are painfully obviously fake. Who the fuck is turned on by that.
//This Line Blank as of 7/15/07\\
Ornithology Subdirector: SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
Wiilite
Image
User avatar
THEHOOLIGANJEDI
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1971
Joined: 2002-07-11 03:44pm
Location: Highland Park, New Jersey
Contact:

Post by THEHOOLIGANJEDI »

Anarchist Bunny wrote:Titties that are painfully obviously fake. Who the fuck is turned on by that.
Agreed, that also bothers me, but if it's a lesbian porn it bothers me a little less.
Image
Stupid risks are what make life worth living.-Homer Simpson

-PC Load Letter?! What the Fuck does that mean!?!?!- Micheal Bolton
-Bullshit! I'll bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose! - Sgt. Hartman
-I'll bet your the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the Goddamn common courtesy to give him a reacharound!- Sgt. Hartman
User avatar
Straha
Lord of the Spam
Posts: 8198
Joined: 2002-07-21 11:59pm
Location: NYC

Post by Straha »

I hate the fact that every female in the industry is shaved bald... Seriously...

I HATE IT SO MUCH!
'After 9/11, it was "You're with us or your with the terrorists." Now its "You're with Straha or you support racism."' ' - The Romulan Republic

'You're a bully putting on an air of civility while saying that everything western and/or capitalistic must be bad, and a lot of other posters (loomer, Stas Bush, Gandalf) are also going along with it for their own personal reasons (Stas in particular is looking through rose colored glasses)' - Darth Yan
User avatar
haas mark
Official SD.Net Insomniac
Posts: 16533
Joined: 2002-09-11 04:29pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Contact:

Post by haas mark »

Bukkake. I hate it.
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net

Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]

Formerly verilon

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005


Image
User avatar
aerius
Charismatic Cult Leader
Posts: 14802
Joined: 2002-08-18 07:27pm

Post by aerius »

Bad camera angles. 90% or more of what pisses me off about porn is covered by this. I don't want extreme closeups, I don't need to see a guy's hairy ass & balls when some chick's giving him a blowjob, nor do I need to see a dick pumping into a hole & nothing else.

Other than that I'm not a big fan of blowjobs, and when I can see the outline of some chick's implants in her breasts that turns me off.

What I want, give me full body shots and show me as much of the girl and as little of the guy as you can. And give me my lesbian porn!
Image
aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me. :)
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either. :P
User avatar
MKSheppard
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Posts: 29842
Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm

Post by MKSheppard »

aerius wrote:And give me my lesbian porn!
*Neighs excitedly*
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

THEHOOLIGANJEDI wrote:
Anarchist Bunny wrote:Titties that are painfully obviously fake. Who the fuck is turned on by that.
Agreed, that also bothers me, but if it's a lesbian porn it bothers me a little less.
Thirded! WTF!? Not every guy on this planet is appreciative of huge breasts!! In fact, some guys like _SMALL_ breasts! Worst: Implants. Why girls choose to destroy their aesthetic lines and curves with these unnatural round implements I have no fucking clue! They're fucking dense!

Bad Camera Work: Film the whole damn scene, not twenty minutes of nothing but bouncing breasts or 1 going into 0! I wanna see all of both (or all three, four, five, etc) participants in their glory :)

Cheesy music: If you can't find decent music to put on your porno, DON'T PUT ANY FUCKING MUSIC ON THERE AT ALL, FUCKTARD!!! And FFS, turn down the music volume when you do, I wanna hear the moaning and humping!

Fugly Guys: Outta the Porn Biz Already, Ron Jeremy. Gimme some nice looking guys to fap at.

Pixelated Masks over the Fun Bits: THAT DEFEATS THE WHOLE FUCKING PURPOSE OF MY DOWNLOAD^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HGETTING THE DAMN PORN MOVIE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!!! Some country in Asia (I think it's Japan) has the STUPIDEST censorship law I've ever seen, and that's where the pixelation comes from! I want that damn thing repealed and the prudish politician who proposed it curbstomped (but since curbstomping is out of the question I'll settle for its repeal and all porn with the pixelation remastered)!

Raincoater Sicko Shit: I like sex for pleasure. I don't like sex for dominance, pain, torture, humiliation, or all that other warped destructive bullshit. Therefore, I would like my porn to reflect that :)

Everything else has been summed up quite nicely here.
Image Image
User avatar
Ubiquitous
Sith Devotee
Posts: 2825
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:07pm

Post by Ubiquitous »

I watched a porno a few months ago where this guy was fucking this womans mouth, big time. She was oozing blood and was clearly in a lot of discomfort.

Who the fuck wants to watch this shit?! Didn't turn me on at all, just made me cringe. YUCK!
"I'm personally against seeing my pictures and statues in the streets - but it's what the people want." - Saparmurat Niyazov
"I'm not good in groups. It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent." - Q
HAB Military Intelligence: Providing sexed-up dodgy dossiers for illegal invasions since 2003.
User avatar
Tasoth
Sith Devotee
Posts: 2815
Joined: 2002-12-31 02:30am
Location: Being Invisible, per SOP

Post by Tasoth »

Cumshots. The last thing I need to see is some guy give a cute pornstar a whitewashing. The fact that they always get a shot iof the male pornstar's face pisses me off.
I've committed the greatest sin, worse than anything done here today. I sold half my soul to the devil. -Ivan Isaac, the Half Souled Knight



Mecha Maniac
User avatar
RogueIce
_______
Posts: 13389
Joined: 2003-01-05 01:36am
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida, USA
Contact:

Post by RogueIce »

Cum shots.

I mean really, what's the point?

Everything else has already been said here. Seeing a closeup of the guy's hairly balls defeats the purpose.
Image
"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
User avatar
RedImperator
Roosevelt Republican
Posts: 16465
Joined: 2002-07-11 07:59pm
Location: Delaware
Contact:

Post by RedImperator »

Hideous guys who are obvious dickheads. I'm not a fan of the men in the first place, but I don't want to be watching a porno thinking, "Here's a total dillhole with a face like a pig's asshole banging an incredibly hot chick while I pay to watch. By myself." If I'm not watching lesbians, at least have a guy who I don't want to punch in the face every time I see him.
Image
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963
X-Ray Blues
User avatar
Tasoth
Sith Devotee
Posts: 2815
Joined: 2002-12-31 02:30am
Location: Being Invisible, per SOP

Post by Tasoth »

Just realized another. A guy who's monstrously huge banging a tiny chick so that his dick starts to bend in half. That hurts me to watch.
I've committed the greatest sin, worse than anything done here today. I sold half my soul to the devil. -Ivan Isaac, the Half Souled Knight



Mecha Maniac
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Meh, I like cumshots (except the damn bukkake crap). I also like cumshots when a girl jills off too (female ejaculation) :)
Image Image
User avatar
Aaron
Blackpowder Man
Posts: 12031
Joined: 2004-01-28 11:02pm
Location: British Columbian ExPat

Rimjobs

Post by Aaron »

Rimjobs :wtf:
User avatar
Stofsk
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 12925
Joined: 2003-11-10 12:36am

Post by Stofsk »

I like cumshots, but I've never seen bukkake. What's the difference?

Oh, and rimjobs are just... weird. I suppose that's my porn-peeve.
Image
User avatar
THEHOOLIGANJEDI
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1971
Joined: 2002-07-11 03:44pm
Location: Highland Park, New Jersey
Contact:

Post by THEHOOLIGANJEDI »

Stofsk wrote:I like cumshots, but I've never seen bukkake. What's the difference?

Oh, and rimjobs are just... weird. I suppose that's my porn-peeve.
Bukkake, is a much more extreme cumshot.
Image
Stupid risks are what make life worth living.-Homer Simpson

-PC Load Letter?! What the Fuck does that mean!?!?!- Micheal Bolton
-Bullshit! I'll bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose! - Sgt. Hartman
-I'll bet your the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the Goddamn common courtesy to give him a reacharound!- Sgt. Hartman
User avatar
THEHOOLIGANJEDI
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1971
Joined: 2002-07-11 03:44pm
Location: Highland Park, New Jersey
Contact:

Post by THEHOOLIGANJEDI »

Tasoth wrote:Just realized another. A guy who's monstrously huge banging a tiny chick so that his dick starts to bend in half. That hurts me to watch.
It kinda bothers me seeing a huge guy bang broads who can't take it. I equally dislike seeing guy with the total opposite bang a hot chick. I seen dudes with 2 inch hard-on I start laughing out loud. :lol: But the men in porn bother me in General which is why I prefer Lesbian Porn.
Image
Stupid risks are what make life worth living.-Homer Simpson

-PC Load Letter?! What the Fuck does that mean!?!?!- Micheal Bolton
-Bullshit! I'll bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose! - Sgt. Hartman
-I'll bet your the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the Goddamn common courtesy to give him a reacharound!- Sgt. Hartman
User avatar
kojikun
BANNED
Posts: 9663
Joined: 2002-07-04 12:23am
Contact:

Post by kojikun »

I dislike boring porn. o.o

lol

I'm picky. I don't have major peeves, it's usually on a porn-by-porn basis.
Sì! Abbiamo un' anima! Ma è fatta di tanti piccoli robot.
User avatar
General Zod
Never Shuts Up
Posts: 29211
Joined: 2003-11-18 03:08pm
Location: The Clearance Rack
Contact:

Post by General Zod »

amateur porn where every single couple or actress, regardless of whom, does the exact same thing. i can think of a webcam site as an example. it gets fucking boring watching chicks do the exact same thing in every porno regardless of the chick. i watch different porn for variety, not so i can see the same thing every time.
"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."
User avatar
Tsyroc
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 13748
Joined: 2002-07-29 08:35am
Location: Tucson, Arizona

Post by Tsyroc »

  • ass and back zits
  • razor burn and/or stubble (in the pubic area. It's just distracting <painful looking> and unapealling. Either do it right or keep the hair).
  • bad dye or bleach jobs, especially the bleach jobs.
  • the obligatory cumshot to the face
  • cumshots in general
  • painful looking silicon implants
  • unenthusiastic "actresses" or actresses that aren't convincing during sex.
  • Glassy-eye drugged out performers <cough>TracyLords<cough>. It's just creepy and depressing.
  • I could do without the super zoom crotch cam. I don't need to be able to see the pores on the actor's skin and I don't want to see the camera zoom so far up someone's crotch that I can see their brain stem. No from behind under the ball sack shots.
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
User avatar
Lord Pounder
Pretty Hate Machine
Posts: 9695
Joined: 2002-11-19 04:40pm
Location: Belfast, unfortunately
Contact:

Post by Lord Pounder »

The guy talking during porn. "Yeah! Ride/suck my dick" We see what she's doing dude leave it at that.

That guy Omar bothers me. A woman is not supposed to cry during porn, sex should be fun not painful.
RIP Yosemite Bear
Gone, Never Forgotten
User avatar
Col. Crackpot
That Obnoxious Guy
Posts: 10228
Joined: 2002-10-28 05:04pm
Location: Rhode Island
Contact:

Post by Col. Crackpot »

35 year old 'teens'. you're not fooling anyone lady!
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” -Tom Clancy
User avatar
Tsyroc
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 13748
Joined: 2002-07-29 08:35am
Location: Tucson, Arizona

Post by Tsyroc »

Col. Crackpot wrote:35 year old 'teens'. you're not fooling anyone lady!
But she's wearing....okay...was wearing a school girl outfit and she has her hair up in pig tails. :D
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
User avatar
Korvan
Jedi Master
Posts: 1255
Joined: 2002-11-05 03:12pm
Location: Vancouver, B.C. Canada

Re: Porn Pet Peeves

Post by Korvan »

THEHOOLIGANJEDI wrote:-Hot porno chick licking HMA. (whose turned on by that?)
Quick question, just what does HMA stand for? The only that comes to me is "Her Majesty's Ass". but I'm pretty sure that the Queen doesn't do porno.

As for my peeves, closeups that go on too long (anything over a couple secs), any sort of open sore. The worst I've seen is a guy whose used to have his dick pierced, but had it removed (the piercing, not the dick) and you can see a whole going through the head.
Post Reply