Never feel bad about your crappy essays again...

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2004-05-10 03:25am

2000AD wrote:Just who was Walt Whitman anyway?

The essay on him was still funny, except that i really wanted to go on the ride at Disneyworld!

Some poet during the Pre-WWI era when everything was fine and dandy. I've read his stuff before, didn't really impress me, although his stuff was IIRC, pioneering modern poetry.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2004-05-10 03:58am

Shroom Man 777 wrote:
Hey, hey, I'm not looking for any trouble. Of course I know teachers don't have the same hand-writings but teachers usually don't have bad handwritings on-par with a 11 year old.

Then what the hell is the handwriting of my teachers? 9 year old?

Those essays suck. Badly. 7th grade english essay by remedial english here don't suck this bad.

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2004-05-10 04:52am

Ace Pace wrote:Then what the hell is the handwriting of my teachers? 9 year old?

That's excusable since you're teachers are more familiar with writing ancient Hebrew

Those essays suck. Badly. 7th grade english essay by remedial english here don't suck this bad.

You've got to be kidding me. Those essays rock! They are masterpieces, anyone would be hard pressed to write anything remotely as awesome.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2004-05-10 04:55am

Shroom Man 777 wrote:
Ace Pace wrote:Then what the hell is the handwriting of my teachers? 9 year old?
That's excusable since you're teachers are more familiar with writing ancient Hebrew

Modern hebrew, please, ancient hebrew is uncomprehensible without a ancient hebrew picatorial next to me.

To the 2nd part

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2004-05-10 04:57am

Ace Pace wrote:To the 2nd part

Could you write anything remotely as funny as those essays? -_-

I thought so.

It takes a lot of skill to make something as funny as those essays.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2004-05-10 05:02am

Shroom Man 777 wrote:
Ace Pace wrote:To the 2nd part
Could you write anything remotely as funny as those essays? -_-

I thought so.

It takes a lot of skill to make something as funny as those essays.

No, it takes alot of stupidty. I don't think the writers intended it to be funny

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2004-05-10 05:07am

The writer did intend to be funny. Right, guys?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-05-10 07:04am

It seems like if these aren't fakes, then they're probably the result of students deliberately pulling jokes on their teachers.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2004-05-10 08:07am

As to the writing, i've got a teacher with much worse handwriting than that. And as far as i can tell he doesn't know hebrew...

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2004-05-10 08:11am

darthdavid wrote:As to the writing, i've got a teacher with much worse handwriting than that. And as far as i can tell he doesn't know hebrew...

Actully for the ultimate in bad english writing, try some people who grew up writing arabic, now writing english

From combined writing, to spaced stuff

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-05-10 10:17am

Shroom Man 777 wrote:Hey, hey, I'm not looking for any trouble. Of course I know teachers don't have the same hand-writings but teachers usually don't have bad handwritings on-par with a 11 year old.

Since when? The only teachers I've known with decent hand-writing have been female teachers. The male ones almost always have sloppy hand-writing. You know that they are people, just like everyone else, right?

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-05-10 10:45am

Durandal wrote:
Shroom Man 777 wrote:Hey, hey, I'm not looking for any trouble. Of course I know teachers don't have the same hand-writings but teachers usually don't have bad handwritings on-par with a 11 year old.
Since when? The only teachers I've known with decent hand-writing have been female teachers. The male ones almost always have sloppy hand-writing. You know that they are people, just like everyone else, right?

I actually cannot read the comments I got back on an essay I did last term. The marker was male and I'm damned if I know what language he was using because it basically is ancient Hebrew from the looks of it.

Essay Snap The First

Essay Snap The Second

Essay Snap The Third

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2004-05-10 10:48am

Some of it disturbingly resembles our teachers arabic.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-05-10 10:52am

So my microbiology lecturer is Arabic? I thought he came from Yorkshire.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2004-05-10 10:54am

Admiral Valdemar wrote:So my microbiology lecturer is Arabic? I thought he came from Yorkshire.

You never know

Wheres a decent digital camera to take some of the handwriting here.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-05-10 10:56am

I know mine isn't decent, cost me 15 quid and has no way of showing me the image unless I plug it into my PC. But I'm sure you can see that one of my lecturers (male at that) has handwriting worse than those other essays since I can only make out the odd word and maybe one sentence tops.

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-05-10 11:11am

Durandal wrote:Since when? The only teachers I've known with decent hand-writing have been female teachers. The male ones almost always have sloppy hand-writing. You know that they are people, just like everyone else, right?

[Jon Stewart] Whaaaaaaaa?! [/Jon Stewart]

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-05-10 11:23am

Zaia isn't a person, she's an angel.

Post by **fgalkin** » 2004-05-10 11:42am

Shroom Man 777 wrote:
Durandal wrote:
Shroom Man 777 wrote:Methinks the guy just made those up. The hand writing didn't look like a teacher's to me.
Oh Jesus Christ, are you stupid or something? Do you really expect every teacher in the world to have identical hand-writing?
Hey, hey, I'm not looking for any trouble. Of course I know teachers don't have the same hand-writings but teachers usually don't have bad handwritings on-par with a 11 year old.

Yeah, they have undecipherable handwritings of a 6 yr old. At least some of my teachers do.

As for the essay, this is the most hilarious thing I've read in a very long time. The first two essays were funnier, IMO, since the last one was obviously delibeately written by a guy who doesn't give a shit about the course.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Mad · Post by **Mad** » 2004-05-10 11:56am

"Peter, please see me" looks like it was put in with a pointing device on the computer, not hand-written like the other comments. Makes me wonder about the validity of them being real essays, but there could be other explanations... (maybe the person didn't have access to a scanner, and so converted it to a JPEG image and added in the teacher's comment, for isntance.)

They're hilarious, but they'd be more hilarious if I knew they were actually turned in for a grade. The juxtaposition of "Trees are tall" at the end of a paragraph talking about lightning and only somewhat about trees is brilliant.

As to teacher's handwriting... I had one that wrote "Pass" on the homeworks that passed. For half a year, I thought he was writing "Ok" on them. (Sometimes I wonder if he's left-handed and just doesn't know it...)

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2004-05-10 12:32pm

Durandal wrote:Since when? The only teachers I've known with decent hand-writing have been female teachers. The male ones almost always have sloppy hand-writing. You know that they are people, just like everyone else, right?

Well, most of my teachers are female

And besides, teachers in my schools have okay handwriting, and english teachers are supposed to have good handwriting. A bad handwriting would increase the chances of it being a fake writing.

This is pointless as you are obviously right, lots of teachers have bad handwriting.

And no, I do not know that teachers are people. They aren't people, they're MONSTERS!!! Horrible, cruel, hideous and inhuman monsters!!!

(no offense to any teachers here, as you obviously know what you peope are

j/k)

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-05-10 12:43pm

Mad wrote:"Peter, please see me" looks like it was put in with a pointing device on the computer, not hand-written like the other comments. Makes me wonder about the validity of them being real essays, but there could be other explanations... (maybe the person didn't have access to a scanner, and so converted it to a JPEG image and added in the teacher's comment, for isntance.)

That's almost certainly what happened. The text on that JPEG wasn't scanned in; you can see the aliasing. He probably just snapped a screenshot and posted it. And the comments on it were definitely made with a pointing device.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2004-05-10 12:54pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:Essay Snap The First

This didad is in esmect!

Essay Snap The Second

An intimidating essay.

Some welfare individual sanctioned.

Some if the phrasology suggest you have not adapted de sauce to your own style.

Maide up to date, except on bum. Qs.

Latvia apron in de flea.

Ipeu2: KJ 62.

Essay Snap The Third

Unclebaker?

Stuff a tumult!

So where have you copied this from?

Unnecessary * 2.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2004-05-10 12:59pm

And besides, teachers in my schools have okay handwriting, and english teachers are supposed to have good handwriting. A bad handwriting would increase the chances of it being a fake writing.

i can't read the handwriting of the HEAD of english at my school, let alone any other english teachers, this could be genuine

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-05-10 01:20pm

Rye wrote:
Essay Snap The Third
Unclebaker?

Stuff a tumult!

(insert your own Terrence & Phillip references)