Peregrin Toker wrote:Does this involve the USE launching raids on UFPP planets?
Yup, but not much.
The UFPP formed before the USE?
USE formed when Earth became united, UFPP formed when a bunch of human and alien companies got together and whatnot. The companies aren't restricted to one particular nation, they're interstellar, so it wasn't much of a big deal in the political stage.
Hmm... similar to my expectations of guerilla forces like the GS using whatever equipment they can get. (I think the Finnish army during WW2 used captured Russian equipment, for a historical parallel)
Yup. Although I didn't think about it much, but using any equipment is quite logical for any guerilla dudes. Hey, my mental picture for guerillas are a bunch of guys with all sorts of guns from all sorts of places.
I thought they were based upon the Confederacy from AOTC.
Well, in their name and in their ship styles. I did base them from the Trade Fed and the Confederacy from AOTC. A bizzare mish mash of things.
I'd describe a typical Starfleet ship this way:
The main hull was elongated and narrow. On the top of its prow was a vertically mounted lens-shaped module, making the ship look vaguely spoon-like from above or below. if not for the parallelling nacelles attached to each side of the ship's aft section.
Awesome! Thanks!
You're sure that's a good idea? Frankly, I'd rather make the UFPP ships more practical versions of the Starfleet ships, meaning (for example) that there wouldn't be these long narrow thingies connecting the various sections of the ships. The ships' structures will be much more unified if you understand what I mean. (A bit like the Steamrunner-class and Sabre-class from STFC or perhaps the Voyager) If you're going to ridicule the various design shortcomings of Starfleet vessels, I'm afraid SOTS will go to far into Spaceballs territory.
Well, I wanted to put mechs into the UFPP's ground forces as well as droids and have their ships shaped like the Fed's ships, though I'm not going to be exploiting the ship's design short commings and they will be more like the Voyager and such, being more practical. It won't be much of a ridicule, though there will be lots of explosions and ships having their necklaces torn. And there will be lots of exploding mechs too
Though the mechs aren't giant robots, more like realistic mechs of realistic proportions.
USE formed when Earth became united, UFPP formed when a bunch of human and alien companies got together and whatnot. The companies aren't restricted to one particular nation, they're interstellar, so it wasn't much of a big deal in the political stage.
So the UFPP are kind of an interstellar equivalent of the Zaibatsu from GTA2?
Well, I wanted to put mechs into the UFPP's ground forces as well as droids and have their ships shaped like the Fed's ships, though I'm not going to be exploiting the ship's design short commings and they will be more like the Voyager and such, being more practical. It won't be much of a ridicule, though there will be lots of explosions and ships having their necklaces torn. And there will be lots of exploding mechs too
Phew.
Though the mechs aren't giant robots, more like realistic mechs of realistic proportions.
Exactly how big? Are they just heavier versions of the ordinary power armour?
Why would it be too much like Spaceballs?
I just meant that it would devolve into a parody. I regret making a fallacious assumption.
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
Peregrin Toker wrote:So the UFPP are kind of an interstellar equivalent of the Zaibatsu from GTA2?
Never played GTA2. But you get the picture. And I was going to name one company in the UFPP 'Maibatsu', a company name which I heard in GTA VC's radio.
Phew.
Though there will be parts involving necklaces being torn and all that, just imagine Stravo's Starcrossed, except that this time, the Feddies aren't pansies and the Imperials aren't godlike.
Exactly how big? Are they just heavier versions of the ordinary power armour?
Well, not really mechs, but more like war-walkers. Mmm...bigger than the Goliaths from StarCraft.
I just meant that it would devolve into a parody. I regret making a fallacious assumption.
Then kiss my feet and spread the Word of my Holy Gospel!
Peregrin Toker wrote:So the UFPP are kind of an interstellar equivalent of the Zaibatsu from GTA2?
Never played GTA2. But you get the picture. And I was going to name one company in the UFPP 'Maibatsu', a company name which I heard in GTA VC's radio.
Well, the Zaibatsu in GTA2 is a corporation so huge that it acts as a state within the state - it manufactures everything from illegal drugs to the Z-Type luxury cars driven around by their more high-ranking employees. It nonetheless doesn't control the police and often gets into fights with them.
Well, not really mechs, but more like war-walkers. Mmm...bigger than the Goliaths from StarCraft.
War Walkers? Like this?
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
Peregrin Toker wrote:Well, the Zaibatsu in GTA2 is a corporation so huge that it acts as a state within the state - it manufactures everything from illegal drugs to the Z-Type luxury cars driven around by their more high-ranking employees. It nonetheless doesn't control the police and often gets into fights with them.
Yeah! Except this time, the corporations own the police forces and they own their own military and their citizens are employees.
Shroom Man 777 wrote:
What's up with the blue hair?
Good idea! And pink too! And green!
Don't forget purple hair...
Yeah, I can imagine all those unnatural hair colours becoming popular in the future. (reminds me of one of my former classmates... she dyed her hair two-coloured)
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
Date: April 26, 2567
Location: USS Iron Fist
Situation: High orbit above Daron
The ‘ding’ indicated that the turbolift had reached its destination. The steel doors opened and Lieutenant John Baylor and Sergeant Jedd McLooney walked into one of the Iron Fist’s innumerable corridors. They were in their standard non-combat outfits: fatigue pants and plain olive green shirts. Outside their battle suits, one could see that John was a well built man, six feet two inches tall and a little pale. Jedd was shorter by several inches and his complexion was a bit reddish, not to mention he was a bit thick boned.
They were going to recreation room to laze around and watch some shows in the holoscreens.
“So, John, what happened to that Jerald guy and his friends?” the sergeant asked, bored and obviously wanting a conversation. John remembered Jerald; the man was a prick who was later found out to be a liaison of the UFPP. Jerald and his friends were all human, which was unusual since the UFPP was a conglomerate of various companies whose employees were from all sorts of planets. After they were found out, they were all hauled into a dropship, and that was the last everyone saw of them.
“They were detained for…extensive interrogation,” the words ‘extensive interrogation’ was said with an icy, menacing tone. Standard captives would face routine interrogations, but since the prick and his friends were operatives of the UFPP and nobody expected them there (though John suspected that the higher ups knew a lot), the interrogations would be much more…in depth. John didn’t know what happened in those interrogations, nobody did. But the only thing they knew for sure was that those interrogations always came up with extremely accurate information, and that was the scary thing.
“Those poor guys,” Jedd said with false concern. Nobody really cared what happened to those poor saps, especially Jedd since he never actually saw them. “I heard they were pretending to be hostages, and I heard you were the one who found them out. How’d you know?”
“Meh, the pricks were wearing really fancy suits and gold watches. Jerald was a lousy liar and he lacked a Daronite accent, idiot didn’t even try. They were making their way to the rest of the hostages when I yelled for them to stop and the lying sons of bitches ran. I shot Jerald; the men grabbed the other agents and dragged their asses into the dropships. The prick was lucky that armored piercing bullets were in my pistol’s magazine, if it was loaded with anti-personnel rounds, the asshole would’ve lost his foot!”
“Heh, lucky bastard. Good job, man.”
“Why did you bother asking? I thought you were there.”
“I was in the Rangers with Carla and Bouviere while you were shooting the feet off of unarmed defenseless pricks.”
“Now I remember. So how’s Bouviere?”
“He’s getting a new arm.”
“Robotic?”
“Nah, they didn’t have dwarf sized robotic arms,” Jedd said and laughed. He quickly stopped, even though Bouviere was an asshole, he was still a human being. “He’s getting a cloned arm.”
“Good for him. Here we are.” John stopped; they were in front of the recreation room. Jedd pressed a button and the doors parted with a hi-tech hiss. The recreation room or rec. room was a very plain room but was quite large when compared to most of the Iron Fist’s rooms. There was a bar on the far side with many patrons, all of whom were sober (the USMC is very stringent with alcohol). Scattered near the middle were several multifunction tables, currently two were configured into billiard tables, one was being used for ping-pong. There were standard holoscreens all over the room; they were wide semi-holographic screens which could be used for communication, viewing shows, using interactive programs and games. And even more prolific than the screens were the chairs. And on one chair was a particularly noisy marine who was waving around a firearm, catching John’s unwarranted attention.
“Look at this, look at my baby!” Timothy exclaimed. He was sitting on a chair and holding out the Bragulan assault rifle for everyone around to see. The B-11 was the standard rifle for the Bragulan Star Empire’s armed forces. It carried a hundred rounds in its standard drum shaped magazine and fires a thousand rounds per minute. The B-11, as well as most other BSE equipment (including starships), was very popular with the Gamma-Sigma and many other militants. This was because of its cheapness and resilience and the ease in obtaining one, that and the fact that the Gamma-Sigma is composed almost entirely of Bragulans. “This baby is in mint condition, I’m bringing it home for a birthday gift for my nephew!”
“Sergeant, how the hell did you come into the possession of a confiscated Gamma-Sigma weapon?” John snapped at Timothy, surprising him and the men gathered around him. They immediately jumped off their chairs and saluted their CO. John rolled his eyes and dismissed them, leaving Timothy alone, without any moral support. So much for numerical superiority. John eyed Timothy. “So?”
“Sir, uhhh….umm….I…errr…ask a few favors and got this weapon, sir,” he said nearly incoherently, hesitating and stuttering. Getting a confiscated weapon wasn’t legal and he sure didn’t want his commanding officer to known of it. He knew was screwed. He hoped to hell that he wouldn’t get discharged. The MPs were bastards and he hated them.
“Give me that!” John barked as he snatched the rifle away from the soldier and began examining it while Timothy stood as straight as a pencil. John would cut the guy some slack, John didn’t really care and he could just let it slide. “At ease, trooper. I’m cutting you some slack, but if I find out that you are hoarding confiscated material, you’ll find yourself discussing this with the MPs. Understood?”
“Sir, yes sir!” Timothy replied, slouching and sighing with relief. John gave him back the rifle and Tim quickly tossed it out of sight like a hot potato and immediately went to sample some donuts which were on a table far away from the lieutenant.
“That applies to every one of you,” John said in a commanding voice loud enough for everybody to hear. Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked at the lieutenant and acknowledged him. John then continued his original course, as if nothing happened. He was heading for a pair of recliners right in front of a holoscreen. John sat on one and contemplated on reclining it, but decided against it as the screen began showing some sort of commercial. John turned to face the bar. “Brent! I want iced tea, now!”
Brent was a crew member for the Iron Fist and was originally assigned to doing important maintenance tasks, but was transferred elsewhere after goofing off in the munitions dump and nearly blowing the Fist to kingdom come. The guy looked like he was permanently stuck in puberty, he had an aura of irritation and nobody really liked him. And he had glasses, increasing the intensity of said aura. But that was irrelevant; the soda dispensers could not serve the drinks by themselves (or at least not yet), so a chosen one must be entrusted with the sacred duty of distributing the life giving substances. And Brent fitted the job description perfectly, so the higher ups in their infinite wisdom thought ‘what the heck?’ So far, his performance record has been infallible, though there were a few incidents of food poisoning, but nobody could’ve proved anything, probably a batch of bad OrGazmo or Giggle Cream, and the victims probably deserved it.
“Are you deaf?” John was getting irritated. That four eyed doofus was such a prick.
The doofus eagerly responded, “Sir yes, sir. Your iced tea is on the way.”
“Incompetent buffoon,” someone on the other recliner muttered.
“That’s right. So Josh, what’s on the HS?” HS was an acronym of holoscreen, much like TV for television.
“Trash, a load of OrGazmo commercials, though a classic is going to be on in a few minutes,” Joshua replied. He was a lean man, though he ate baffling quantities of food, had brow hair and stood 5 feet 8 inches.
“A classic?”
“21st century movie called ‘In The Future There Will Be Robots’ or ‘Robots’ for short.”
“Oh,” John said as the minimal wage slave, Brent, hobbled beside him and placed a tall glass of iced tea on a cup holder. John sipped on the straw and Brent hobbled away. “Too little sugar, what a prick.”
“You have a foul mouth, you know that?” Joshua commented.
“Blow me.”
“I’ll pass.”
“So, what’s ‘Robots’ about?”
“’In The Future There Will Be Robots’ is a movie, an ancient movie where they didn’t have robots-“
“That’s hard to imagine.”
“Shut up. ‘Robots’ deals with the most important things in the world, like love, skin tight pants and well stretched groin muscles,” this caused John to raise his eyebrow. 21st century people had a tangent for eccentricity. “There is a manatee on stage and lasers cut him down and free his soul, freeing him of the bondage of the past. And then there is snow, which represents love and the Robot makes a snow angel and we begin to cry. Close curtain.”
“Mm…that’s shit. And what the fuck is a manatee?!” before Joshua could reply, the HS was filled with an extremely loud OrGazmo commercial.
“Damn OrGazmo commercials, they’re everywhere,” Joshua commented as two eye catching ladies clad in tight latex danced on a stage lit with constantly morphing, abstract and psychedelically colored holograms. The lady with purple hair took out a pencil sized candy stick from her breast pocket and sucked its tip like a lollipop, she groaned sensually. She says: ‘Mm…OrGazmo, looks so small but is sooo…big.’ The blue haired lady licked Purple’s OrGazmo, they were just an inch away from licking each other. Blue’s hands were now all over Purple, groping and caressing everywhere. Blue looked at John and Josh with a naughty, sluttish look and said softly: ‘It just feels right.’ Then they continued dancing and moaning as the psychedelic holograms flickered and morphed around them. It was like a trance, it was an orgy. And when it seemed that the climax was inevitable, the camera zooms out and a young man’s voice said: ‘Get Serious. Get OrGazmo.’
“Jesus…” John gasped. Like every man in the room, the commercial had mystified and entranced him. “That puts blow jobs out of business.”
“I think I just wet my pants.” Brent said.
Last edited by Shroom Man 777 on 2004-06-17 01:59pm, edited 2 times in total.
Shroom Man 777 wrote:Date: April 26, 2345
Location: USS Iron Fist
Situation: High orbit above Daron
The ?ding? indicated that the turbolift had reached its destination. The steel doors opened and Lieutenant John Baylor and Sergeant Jedd McLooney walked into one of the Iron Fist?s innumerable corridors. They were in their standard non-combat outfits: fatigue pants and plain olive green shirts. Outside their battle suits, one could see that John was a well built man, six feet two inches tall and a little pale. Jedd was shorter by several inches and his
And his what??
?Look at this, look at my baby!? Timothy exclaimed. He was sitting on a chair and holding out the Bragulan assault rifle for everyone around to see. The B-11 was the standard rifle for the Bragulan Star Empire?s armed forces; it carried a hundred rounds in its standard banana shaped magazine and fires a thousand rounds per minute. The B-11, as well as most other BSE equipment (including starships), was very popular with the Gamma-Sigma and many other militants because of its cheapness and resilience and the ease in obtaining one, that and the fact that the Gamma-Sigma is composed almost entirely of Bragulans. ?This baby is in mint condition, I?m bringing it home for a birthday gift for my nephew!?
Interesting details.
?Trash, a load of OrGazmo commercials, though a classic is going to be on in a few minutes,? Joshua replied.
?Damn OrGazmo commercials, they?re everywhere,? Joshua finally said as several two eye catching ladies clad in tight latex were dancing on a stage lit with constantly morphing, abstract and psychedelically colored holograms. The lady with purple hair took out a pencil sized candy stick from her breast pocket and sucked its tip like a lollipop, she groaned sensually. She says: ?Mm?OrGazmo, looks so small but is sooo?big.? The blue haired lady licked Purple?s OrGazmo, they were just an inch away from licking each other. Blue?s hands were all over Purple and she looked at the audience with a naughty look and said softly: ?It just feels right.?
Hmmm.... seems very familiar.
Though I don't understand what "several two" means.
?That puts blow jobs out of business.?
No comment.
Nice conclusion to the first chapter - I assume that if this was a movie, it would cut straight from the torture scene to the conversation between Baylor and McLooney.
I like the sense of humour on display - this is an area where I think our stories are very different from each others'. (perhaps as a reflection of our respective personalities?) And it gains a rather morbid dimension when considering the way that sickening torture is suddenly contrasted with the exploits of off-duty soldiers.
In fact, your story kinda reminds me of a cross between Paul Verhoeven's "Starship Troopers" movie, the Wing Commander games, HALO, The 5th Element and the radio broadcasts in newer Grand Theft Auto games.
I should also commend your ability to incorporate exposition and plot into one - or if not that, use the humour to make the exposition less dull and rather funny.
(tries to figure out a way to smuggle some humour into the sheer coldness of TWW... if not its coldness should be its charm)
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
You watch that stuff? I just made the name up while chatting with Ace, talking about commercials and whatnot.
Hmmm.... seems very familiar.
Though I don't understand what "several two" means.
Cluster fuck!!!
Nice conclusion to the first chapter - I assume that if this was a movie, it would cut straight from the torture scene to the conversation between Baylor and McLooney.
Yeah. Fancy, isn't it?
I like the sense of humour on display - this is an area where I think our stories are very different from each others'. (perhaps as a reflection of our respective personalities?) And it gains a rather morbid dimension when considering the way that sickening torture is suddenly contrasted with the exploits of off-duty soldiers.
Yeah. I enjoy humor (though I'm also cold, odd), in fact most of the characters are my (former) classmates. The bears are based on how I teased a former classmate and Brent is also one of my former classmates.
In fact, your story kinda reminds me of a cross between Paul Verhoeven's "Starship Troopers" movie, the Wing Commander games, HALO, The 5th Element and the radio broadcasts in newer Grand Theft Auto games.
True. In fact, the "looks so small but is so big" thing is from GTA VC's Maibatsu Thunder commercial and the 'Robots' is also another thing you hear from Vice City's radio. I pay homage to a lot of things.
I should also commend your ability to incorporate exposition and plot into one - or if not that, use the humour to make the exposition less dull and rather funny.
Thanks. Uhh...what's 'exposition'?
(tries to figure out a way to smuggle some humour into the sheer coldness of TWW... if not its coldness should be its charm)
You could make it like contrasting. Put more prespective in the Jadra and make them the ones with all the humor while the Xril will be cold, icy, less human.
You watch that stuff? I just made the name up while chatting with Ace, talking about commercials and whatnot.
Now that's what I call a coincidence that is too good to be believed
True. In fact, the "looks so small but is so big" thing is from GTA VC's Maibatsu Thunder commercial and the 'Robots' is also another thing you hear from Vice City's radio. I pay homage to a lot of things.
Yeah. And didn't the Zaibatsu Corporation from GTA2 manufacture chocolate which you got random orgasms from eating?
1. A setting forth of meaning or intent.
2. A statement or rhetorical discourse intended to give information about or an explanation of difficult material.
- a. The art or technique of composing such discourses..
3a. The first part of a composition in sonata form that introduces the 4. themes.
3b. The opening section of a fugue. 4. The part of a play that provides the background information needed to understand the characters and the action.
5. An act or example of exposing.
6. A public exhibition or show, as of artistic or industrial developments.
Well, perhaps I just pulled a Lovecraft.
You could make it like contrasting. Put more prespective in the Jadra and make them the ones with all the humor while the Xril will be cold, icy, less human.
Well, I originally intended the Xril to be cold and icy and the Jardra to be the most human so your suggestion isn't different from my idea.
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
I just made the name up while chatting with Ace, talking about commercials and whatnot.