SW wussyfication to fit in ST

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-05-12 03:43pm

Races in ST tend to get "wussyfied" by their writers (think of TOS Klingons vs TNG Klingons, classic Borg vs current Borg,...)

How would the following caracters act if they get wussyfied in such way they could fit in the ST universe?:

- Chewy gets a commision on the Enterprise

- A squad of imperial stormtroopers handling security on Voyager

- C3PO (can he b more wussyfied? Or does he blend in nicely?)

- Darth Vader as captain of the Enterprise

Add more if you want (Boba Fett, Yoda,...)

(imo an "other sci-fi" example are Hirogens, which in my eyes are wussyfied Predators)

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-05-12 03:49pm

wautd wrote:- A squad of imperial stormtroopers handling security on Voyager

might be a bit to vague. Make that stormtroopers as away teams

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-05-12 03:52pm

Okay, well trained soliders with energy based assault weapons Wussified? What did you do, cut there arms and legs off?

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-05-12 04:00pm

Solauren wrote:Okay, well trained soliders with energy based assault weapons Wussified? What did you do, cut there arms and legs off?

nooo... by makign them mroe incompetent

how would they act if they where like starfleet
extensive use of tricorders, missing quite often and stuff like that

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-05-12 11:14pm

They wouldn't be stormtroopers anymore then

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2004-05-12 11:47pm

Solauren wrote:They wouldn't be stormtroopers anymore then

Having Borg as completley incompetent, interested in conquest instead of technology, and needing new bodies to fill their ranks instead of actually making babies wouldn't make them the borg anymore...

Oh.. wait...

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2004-05-13 12:15am

wautd wrote:
Solauren wrote:Okay, well trained soliders with energy based assault weapons Wussified? What did you do, cut there arms and legs off?
nooo... by makign them mroe incompetent

how would they act if they where like starfleet
extensive use of tricorders, missing quite often and stuff like that

At the first possible sign of hand-to-hand, they drop their ranged weapons and pull out their "modernised" gladius.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2004-05-13 01:09am

Darth Vader would be the new 'Villain of the Week'.

Palpatine would be the new supervillain.

C3PO is so ghey he would fit right in...

R2D2 would be some vulcan's sidekick and be used for comical relief.

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-05-13 03:13am

wautd wrote:- Chewy gets a commision on the Enterprise

Chewie singlehandedly defeats a armed ferengi strike team who board the Enterprise with the intent to steal the ship and mistreat the females. He does this by tearing their overgrown ears from out their bulbous heads, while Worf lies down on the floor stunned.

After this incident Chewie is ordered to attend an "Anger Management" session with Deanna Troi, who teachs the fuzzy little guy the finer points of diplomacy and kissing arse. Pretty soon he's drinking from a teacup and wearing glasses.

- A squad of imperial stormtroopers handling security on Voyager

Things go fine, they kill those parasitic aliens with the Permanent Disease Thing (Vidians - they look like undead), the aliens with the Bad Hair Day (Kazon - they look like they had a fight with a barber, and lost... badly), and of course the Borg give no trouble.

Things go so fine, in fact, that discipline begins to waver on the edge. Pretty soon "shoot the Borg zombie in the playpen" gets boring - guys need some stress relief, you know? Holodecks don't work - stupid Paris is always having his buddy flying off in wussy Captain Proton adventures - so what do they do?

Simple. Thermal Detonator Cricket. Voyager's trip home ends abruptly.

- C3PO (can he b more wussyfied? Or does he blend in nicely?)

Reverse wussification. Threepio becomes more and more emancipated as he hangs out with Data. Pretty soon he becomes the android equivalent of John Belushi, and culturally rebels.

He leads a general Droid Revolt to party... until he fails dismally, as the Federation doesn't have any androids. Dies of lube oil abuse.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-05-13 03:38am

Would they let Chewy speak in english (with a brittisch accent) or would they allow him to communicate as in SW?

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-05-13 03:49am

wautd wrote:Would they let Chewy speak in english (with a brittisch accent) or would they allow him to communicate as in SW?

I think they have no choice; let the Wookiee win.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-05-13 02:56pm

Stofsk wrote:
wautd wrote:
- A squad of imperial stormtroopers handling security on Voyager
Things go fine, they kill those parasitic aliens with the Permanent Disease Thing (Vidians - they look like undead), the aliens with the Bad Hair Day (Kazon - they look like they had a fight with a barber, and lost... badly), and of course the Borg give no trouble.

Things go so fine, in fact, that discipline begins to waver on the edge. Pretty soon "shoot the Borg zombie in the playpen" gets boring - guys need some stress relief, you know? Holodecks don't work - stupid Paris is always having his buddy flying off in wussy Captain Proton adventures - so what do they do?

Simple. Thermal Detonator Cricket. Voyager's trip home ends abruptly.

Damn, that is pretty wussified. Playing cricket and all.

FTeik · Post by **FTeik** » 2004-05-13 04:52pm

Can you imagine Chewie drinking tea from a cup and wearing glasses?

I laughed my ass off at that picture.

Hmmm, could it be, that he played with little Jaina and her dolls, when Han and Leia were away?

Batman · Post by **Batman** » 2004-05-13 06:18pm

FTeik wrote:Can you imagine Chewie drinking tea from a cup and wearing glasses?

Actually, I can. Is it me, or was that a rather subtle X-Men reference? Because I remember the Beast doing that after his secondary mutation took hold...
As for Cricket being wussy, I refer you to Life, Universe, and Everything...

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2004-05-13 06:58pm

Solauren wrote:Okay, well trained soliders with energy based assault weapons Wussified? What did you do, cut there arms and legs off?

Even wussified these guys are way to trigger happy for anything in the ST universe.

CJvR · Post by **CJvR** » 2004-05-14 02:14am

wautd wrote:- Chewy gets a commision on the Enterprise

- A squad of imperial stormtroopers handling security on Voyager

- C3PO (can he be more wussyfied? Or does he blend in nicely?)

- Darth Vader as captain of the Enterprise

Chewy - Get to be known as a good sport who always buy the winner a drink whenever he loses.

Stormies - Get sent to rehabilitaion for actualy using their weapons on hostile intruders and winning!!!

C3PO - The Federations to diplomat and rumored to be groomed for the Presidency of the entire Federation.

Darth - When his second in command screw up and let the Dominion flatten San Fransisco Vader give him a pat on the back and says "Don't worry son, we will do better next time..."

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2004-05-14 02:56am

Stofsk wrote: ...
- C3PO (can he b more wussyfied? Or does he blend in nicely?)
Reverse wussification. Threepio becomes more and more emancipated as he hangs out with Data. Pretty soon he becomes the android equivalent of John Belushi, and culturally rebels.

He leads a general Droid Revolt to party... until he fails dismally, as the Federation doesn't have any androids. Dies of lube oil abuse.

ROTFLMAO!!!!

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-05-14 03:00am

CJvR wrote:
wautd wrote:

Darth - When his second in command screw up and let the Dominion flatten San Fransisco Vader give him a pat on the back and says "Don't worry son, we will do better next time..."

yeah baby

Eframepilot · Post by **Eframepilot** » 2004-05-14 05:05pm

A long time ago, on a Macintosh PowerBook far, far, away, I started a parody of TESB called "The Federation Strikes Back" where the Empire IS the Federation, and the Enterprise-D is sent to Hoth with Special Dignitary Darth Vader to take care of the Maquis Rebel base there. Highlights included:

- Vader Force-chokes Picard only to find that it is ineffective since Picard is so stiff he hasn't taken a breath in 15 years.

- Rebel scouts spot the dreaded Starfleet Walkers, i.e. an away team of Riker, Data, Worf and Nameless Security Guard trudging through the snow.

- Cutbacks in the Rebel budget mean Luke and Rogue Squadron's Snowspeeders were canceled, and they have to just run around and pretend. ("B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-t!") Their weapons: rubber bands. (Poor Nameless Security Guard gets shot in the mouth and chokes to death on one.)

- Vader is stinking drunk in his call with the Emperor of the Federation (or was that the President of the Empire)?

- Luke discovers that Yoda is on vacation, and has to seek training with his housesitters, the Great Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat.

drphlox · Post by **drphlox** » 2004-06-28 05:36am

Classic!!!

Rhoades · Post by **Rhoades** » 2004-06-28 07:40am

wautd wrote:Darth Vader as captain of the Enterprise

Suddenly images of Dark Helmet comes to mind. Except in the Federation, his swartz wouldn't be that big.

wautd wrote:Add more if you want (Boba Fett, Yoda,...)

The Death Star's superlaser is replaced with a giant deflector dish which is sent to investogate giant gas clouds.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-06-28 08:44am

A squad of imperial stormtroopers handling security on Voyager

Thats an easy one. Instead of training they would spend their time having fun in the holodeck.

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-06-28 08:58am

A note to the new members, thread necromancy without anything constructive to add is generally frowned upon.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-06-28 09:11am

Indeed...and as this is near Spam to begin with.

It gets locked.

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SW wussyfication to fit in ST

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