Stupidest. Fundies. Ever!

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-05-17 10:14am

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_95 ... es.sexlife

Childless couple told to try sex

A German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage have found out why they are still childless - they weren't having sex.

The University Clinic of Lubek said they had never heard of a case like it after examining the couple who went to see them last month for fertility tests.

Doctors subjected them to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile, and should have had no trouble conceiving.

A clinic spokesman said: "When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said: "What do you mean?".

"We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate."

The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy lessons while the university clinic undertakes a study to try to find out if there are more couples with a similar lack of sex education.

there are no words.

J · Post by J » 2004-05-17 10:16am

"Sex? What's that?"
Oh god, don't tell me they were just waiting for a stork to bring them their babies!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-05-17 10:16am

Is this a technical Darwin award?

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-05-17 10:18am

jmac wrote:"Sex? What's that?"
Oh god, don't tell me they were just waiting for a stork to bring them their babies!

no, they were waiting for Jesus to give them a baby.

Post by **fgalkin** » 2004-05-17 10:18am

Someone hasn't read the Bible.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-05-17 10:23am

That... is amazing.

I'm actually at a loss of words.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-05-17 10:28am

Reminds me of a thread where someone told of a girl who, at an age of 15, didn't even know what sexual intercourse was.

Behold the power of human stupidity...

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-05-17 10:32am

These people deserve no kid. If they haven't figured out something that ANY organism on the planet figures out by itself in the wild, there's no hope.

If this was a few million years ago, these neanderthals would have died after forgetting to breathe.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2004-05-17 10:43am

I like this kind of fundamentalist, really. I am *ALL FOR* the church teaching its adherents that sex is bad and should be avoided at all costs, all the time.

If you're going to be really stupid, why should you have a) a kid, and b) the pleasure of an orgasm?

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-05-17 10:44am

Plus it puts and end to the stupid fundie genes right there and then! It's like voluntary extinction.

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2004-05-17 10:46am

LOL! There should be more fundies like this, unfortunately most fundies breed like rabbits.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2004-05-17 10:55am

Sorry, I've heard this many times before... I call urban legend.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2004-05-17 10:57am

Is there a way to vaporise people with your mind? I want to learn it. Stupidity like this cannot go unannihilated.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-05-17 10:58am

Iceberg wrote:Sorry, I've heard this many times before... I call urban legend.

I've heard similar stories, but they're all from Singapore. In those, the strict government control of speech and the media keeps a lot of people from ever learning and they never figure out.

I'm inclined to believe this story about the fundies, though.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-05-17 11:08am

this is just fucking sad. . .i mean, i was able to figure this stuff out on my own for the most part when i was ten.

Anhaga · Post by **Anhaga** » 2004-05-17 11:15am

Mayabird wrote:
I've heard similar stories, but they're all from Singapore. In those, the strict government control of speech and the media keeps a lot of people from ever learning and they never figure out.

I'm Singaporean and I can assure you that that (at least these days) is utterly wrong. The media and freedom of speech are strictly curtailed by European standards but are nowhere near the levels of censorship in the 70's
It's amazing how many people still believe all the stories about singapore from the '70s and early '80s. Possibly their roots lie in the fact that the government, wanting to dabble in a bit of light eugenics began a campaign encouraging university graduates to marry earlier and have more (presumably smarter) children. This spawned a joke that university graduates spent their teenage years studying and so didn't know how to have sex.

I had no idea that this joke had developed internationally. Makes me even more ashamed of my country.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2004-05-17 12:40pm

Anyone look this up maybe in a German newspaper or something? I'm sure this would show up, if only to mock the couple...

Ma Deuce · Post by **Ma Deuce** » 2004-05-17 12:44pm

Sir Sirius wrote:unfortunately most fundies breed like rabbits.

Especially Catholic fundies

.

Vendetta · Post by **Vendetta** » 2004-05-17 01:09pm

Ma Deuce wrote:
Sir Sirius wrote:unfortunately most fundies breed like rabbits.
Especially Catholic fundies .

Well when you're morally opposed to salacious music, devilish television, and evil videogames there's nothing else to do with your evenings.

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2004-05-17 01:46pm

I don't believe it either. Having sex is instinctive to humans. Hell, it's one of the few things we have that IS instinctive. Even if one participant is baffled by the mechanics of it, his partner is going to know enough to guide his "happy spot" to her "happy spot". There may be some bumbling (ouch), but they'll figure it out.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2004-05-17 01:53pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:
jmac wrote:"Sex? What's that?"
Oh god, don't tell me they were just waiting for a stork to bring them their babies!
no, they were waiting for Jesus to give them a baby.

I guess they really did believe in the immaculate conception...

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-05-17 01:56pm

Col. Crackpot wrote: there are no words.

Seriously.

I mean I can understand one not having sex before marriage, but not knowing what the act is?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-05-17 02:01pm

Lagmonster wrote:I like this kind of fundamentalist, really. I am *ALL FOR* the church teaching its adherents that sex is bad and should be avoided at all costs, all the time.

If you're going to be really stupid, why should you have a) a kid, and b) the pleasure of an orgasm?

Reminds me of a guy called Warheart I stumbled across upon the Portent.Net forums... he seriously proposed that all monotheists should be sterilized.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-05-17 05:10pm

...What the hell? Those people are fucking sheltered.

Bob the Gunslinger · Post by **Bob the Gunslinger** » 2004-05-17 06:16pm

Lazy Raptor wrote:I don't believe it either. Having sex is instinctive to humans. Hell, it's one of the few things we have that IS instinctive. Even if one participant is baffled by the mechanics of it, his partner is going to know enough to guide his "happy spot" to her "happy spot". There may be some bumbling (ouch), but they'll figure it out.

You might be surprised. My wife's mother was raised as a devout mormon and didn't know what sex was well into adulthood. Couldn't even figure it out.

Her husband had to explain it to her on her wedding night, and she was terrified. I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that she has never had the urge to have sex, and no instinct making her want to do it.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

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