Let Trek Win

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2004-05-20 10:18pm

What I mean is to write Star Trek vs Star Wars scenarios but write them as a trekkie so that teh trek ships win. You can use techno-babble and /or any sort of fan wanking styles you want. I am not looking for a book but just a few lines and this is not designed to be serious

1. Enterprise-D / Voyager vs 4 Star Destroyers and make the Star Trek ship win against the Star Destroyers

2. Picard or Other Trek Characters with an away team (No Kirk or other TOS Characters) against Darth Vader and Storm Troopers. Again, have the Star Wars characters defeated.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-05-20 10:21pm

E-D can defeat any number of ISD's. You know why. LASERS DO NOT PENETRATE NAVIGATIONAL SHIELDS. Also, therse alleged Imperial shields, do they glow like Trek ones? I think not.

Concession accepted.

I feel so dirty.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-05-20 10:49pm

E-D uses it's deflector dish to disrupt the star destroyers power system, causing it to explode (the ISDs)

Pichard gives Vader a talk about morality, causing him to remember Padme and his mom and kill himself

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-05-20 11:24pm

The Voyager relocates that handy spacial anomaly that duplicated it, and flies into it four times. Each duplicate approaches the Star Destroyers, and signals their surrender tot he Galactic Empire. When the Star Destroyers each take a ship on board, they all self-destruct, leaving the original Voyager triumphant(oh, darn, that was almost a serious method of obtaining victory).

Picard beams down, and a redshirt uses a flashlight to reflect light off of Picard's skull, blinding the stormtroopers. Then Data applies the Vulcan nerve pinch to the helpless troops and Vader, and they run Vader through the transporter, which removes his Midochlorians with the bio-filters, and cuts him off from the Force. They put their newprisoners in the brig, and fly them to the nearest starbase for interrogation and personality adjustment.

Burak Gazan · Post by **Burak Gazan** » 2004-05-20 11:36pm

The level of Treknobabble required to accomplish this is also likely to cause your head to explode

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2004-05-21 12:03am

1) It should be obvious that the multi-gigaton photons will trash the pathetic, weak shielded Star Destroyers. Also, they can set their ship phasers to wide spread and take out all four Star Destroyers at once!

2) Hah! Hand phasers pwn stormtrooper armor! Why, stormtrooper armor is so weak it catches on fire! Blasters are also weak too, that's why Leia's arm was only singed when shot.

Dooey Jo · Post by **Dooey Jo** » 2004-05-21 04:56am

Didn't that Graham Kennedy-person already do something like this? But he did write a whole book, IIRC...

TrekWarsie · Post by **TrekWarsie** » 2004-05-21 09:36am

One way that you could let Trek ships at least have a 50/50 chance of winning, without technobabble or Q, is by pitting a Galaxy against an ISD using the weapons calcs from DS9's "The Die is Cast" and the E2: ICS. That makes the phasers about the same yield as the quad turbolasers, maybe a bit stronger. It would be speed and manuverability and torpedoes against size, beam weapons numbers, with beam weapons power being relatively equal.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-05-21 10:08am

Dooey Jo wrote:Didn't that Graham Kennedy-person already do something like this? But he did write a whole book, IIRC...

But he was serious about it...

Enola Straight · Post by **Enola Straight** » 2004-05-21 11:22am

Ysalamari negates the Force.

Tribbles negate Ysalamari.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-05-21 11:27am

Pathetic...if you have the disposal of Trek to make the Federation wins it's easy.

Picard gives Q a blow job and Q uses his power to turn the Empire into the evil villain of the week.

There.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-05-21 11:39am

Janeway beams aboard the Executor in front of emperor palpatine and darth vader to be interrogated for Voyager's emergence into imperial space. Janeway is dressed wearing a black dress, and a leather corsette. Following the initial questioning janeway proceeds to do a strip tease and lapdance for palpy, causing the circuits in vaders suit (who is watching as security) to overload and malfunction, while simultaneously giving palpatine a heart attack at the sheer fugliness.

after which janeway flashes the Executor's crew, rending them unconscious, takes over the ISD and gets voyager home.

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2004-05-21 01:13pm

aneway conference calls the captains of the four Star Destroyers. They show up on the viewscreen. She promptly flashes them

The destroyers ram each other in the resulting confusion of the captains running about the bridge of there ship screaming "MY EYES PUT THEM OUT"

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2004-05-21 03:51pm

The 16 km long Enterprise rams the small Destroyers, immune to their 100-watt lasers.

Admiral_K · Post by **Admiral_K** » 2004-05-21 06:30pm

Trekkie wank scenario one: Tom Paris piloting the Delta Flyer, single handedly defeats the entire contingent of tie fighters from the 4 SD's. While doing so, he scans each stardestroyer and locates the vulnerable reactor core and their shield modulation. Janeway then pilots Voyager herself and has Tuvok beam multi gigaton torpedos directly into the SDS and they all explode.

Trekkie wank scenario two: Picard and his away team encounter vader and attempt peaceful negotiations. The Storm troopers open fire, but all miss. Picard and his team duck behind some crates and a fight continues. In the end, only Picard and Vader are alive. Picard then leads vader on a long chase setting up elaborate traps to slow him down. Eventually, cornered and being force chocked by vader, he sets his phaser on wide beam STUN and hits vader unable to block the wide beam stunning him to the ground. He then communicates to the Enterprise and has Vader beamed to sickbay for medical attenton with a level 10 force field erected around his bed.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2004-05-21 06:34pm

The Enterprise D meets four star destroyers. They order the Enterprise to surrender. Wonder Boy Wesley hacks into the star destroyers computers and causes all systems to shut down. They then wide beam stun the entire crew of the star destroyer.

Voyager encounters four star destroyers. They open fire and the Voyagers shield shrug them off. They then fire multi-phasic torpedoes and destroy all four star destroyers.

The Enterprise away team stuns the entire Stormtrooper forces, Worf engages darth vader in hand to hand with his bat'leth. The super Klingon metal is immune to light sabers and Worf defeats vader

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2004-05-21 08:33pm

Enola Straight wrote:Ysalamari negates the Force.

Tribbles negate Ysalamari.

Force negates tribbles...

Rock, paper, scissors

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-05-22 02:07am

I'll do 1 Enbran Tain style:

After reinstating Admiral Pressman, Voyager decides not to fight the ISDs, and instead search the galaxy for eight A-Wings, two for each ISD. They will shoot the highly vulnerable "shield generators", even if the A-Wings were merely striking at easy targets after a sustained fleet bombardment took the shields down, and crash into the bridge, causing the ISD to crash into something, even if there is no source of gravity nearby. However, that only works on SSDs. ISDs might need a completely different strategy.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-05-22 04:15am

While flying the Delta Flyer Tom Paris encounters the Death Star. The Death Star fires it superlaser but the beam bounces since [iTrek shields are immune to lasers[/i]. After that Tom fires a torpedo into the Death Stars exhaust port and destroys the moon sized battlestation.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2004-05-22 06:57am

1) The Enterprise/Voyager uses the navigational deflector to generate a negatively charged poleron wave, this strips the ISD's of their shielding, then a pair of torpedoes transported in to the reactor cores of each ship causing it to explode.

2) Stricken by a hefty dose of over confidence the Stormtroopers forget to bring any heavy weaponary, Vehicle support or indeed any thing but their carbines. Then on the way to the feddie pisition they decide ot would be a good idea to follow a canyon. Up pop the feddie redshirts who use their pin point accuracy to pick off every stormtrooper.

Striderteen · Post by **Striderteen** » 2004-05-22 01:45pm

In all seriousness, it is extremely difficult to imagine Federation brilliance and/or Imperial stupidity of sufficient magnitude to result in a Federation victory in this scenario; the ISD overpowers even four Galaxy-class ships to the degree where a ten-year-old child in command of an ISD could probably beat Grand Admiral Thrawn himself in a Galaxy-class.

Even if they caught it by total surprise with its shields and weapons offline, four Galaxy-class ships simply do not have the firepower to really hurt an ISD.

Jordie · Post by **Jordie** » 2004-05-22 01:54pm

Striderteen wrote:In all seriousness, it is extremely difficult to imagine Federation brilliance and/or Imperial stupidity of sufficient magnitude to result in a Federation victory in this scenario; the ISD overpowers even four Galaxy-class ships to the degree where a ten-year-old child in command of an ISD could probably beat Grand Admiral Thrawn himself in a Galaxy-class.

I find it hard to believe Thrawn loosing in a ship to ship battle, even in a Federation ship.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2004-05-22 02:26pm

Jordie wrote:I find it hard to believe Thrawn loosing in a ship to ship battle, even in a Federation ship.

Anyone can be overwhelmed
Seriously though, the best tactic is to turn and run. I don't think a Star Destroyer could actually catch a Federation ship at Warp although neither could do anything to the other.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-05-22 02:34pm

Kitsune wrote:
Jordie wrote:I find it hard to believe Thrawn loosing in a ship to ship battle, even in a Federation ship.
Anyone can be overwhelmed

But attacking something with a toothpick on a steel wall, what overwhelms it is hardly you.

Seriously though, the best tactic is to turn and run. I don't think a Star Destroyer could actually catch a Federation ship at Warp although neither could do anything to the other.

If qwe compared the two at linear speed, the ISD easily outruns anything the Federation could do, but that was never the point.

The point was the Federation could do nothing to stem the tide in terms of reaching or defending critical targets.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2004-05-22 03:23pm

Ghost Rider wrote:But attacking something with a toothpick on a steel wall, what overwhelms it is hardly you.

No, I am saying that Thrawn in a galaxy class (or four) against a Star Destroyer would be overwhelmed to the point that his magic would not allow him to win.

If qwe compared the two at linear speed, the ISD easily outruns anything the Federation could do, but that was never the point.

The point was the Federation could do nothing to stem the tide in terms of reaching or defending critical targets.

No, but he could keep himself alive and maybe find a place he could hide.