Let Trek Win

Kamakazie Sith · Post by **Kamakazie Sith** » 2004-05-22 04:29pm

Jordie wrote:
Striderteen wrote:In all seriousness, it is extremely difficult to imagine Federation brilliance and/or Imperial stupidity of sufficient magnitude to result in a Federation victory in this scenario; the ISD overpowers even four Galaxy-class ships to the degree where a ten-year-old child in command of an ISD could probably beat Grand Admiral Thrawn himself in a Galaxy-class.
I find it hard to believe Thrawn loosing in a ship to ship battle, even in a Federation ship.

How the hell is he going to beat an ISD in a GCS? Come on Thrawn is good but he isn't godly.

Jon · Post by **Jon** » 2004-05-22 04:33pm

Kamakazie Sith wrote:
Jordie wrote:
Striderteen wrote:In all seriousness, it is extremely difficult to imagine Federation brilliance and/or Imperial stupidity of sufficient magnitude to result in a Federation victory in this scenario; the ISD overpowers even four Galaxy-class ships to the degree where a ten-year-old child in command of an ISD could probably beat Grand Admiral Thrawn himself in a Galaxy-class.
I find it hard to believe Thrawn loosing in a ship to ship battle, even in a Federation ship.
How the hell is he going to beat an ISD in a GCS? Come on Thrawn is good but he isn't godly.

Q will mistake him for baldie and click his fingers, the ISD is dust.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-05-22 04:35pm

Kamakazie Sith wrote:
Jordie wrote:
Striderteen wrote:In all seriousness, it is extremely difficult to imagine Federation brilliance and/or Imperial stupidity of sufficient magnitude to result in a Federation victory in this scenario; the ISD overpowers even four Galaxy-class ships to the degree where a ten-year-old child in command of an ISD could probably beat Grand Admiral Thrawn himself in a Galaxy-class.
I find it hard to believe Thrawn loosing in a ship to ship battle, even in a Federation ship.
How the hell is he going to beat an ISD in a GCS? Come on Thrawn is good but he isn't godly.

transmit janeway porn to the ISD computers in an effort to cause an overload in its circuitry?

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-05-22 04:41pm

Detach the stardrive section, surrender it to the ISD, have it taken on board, and have a phaser rifle duct-taped to the deflector dish, set to fire at it and cause a chain reaction that will make the whole ship explode?

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2004-05-23 01:14am

if he can find some duct tape

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-05-23 03:26am

Isolder74 wrote:if he can find some duct tape

True, it might not be possible to replicate, being useful and all.

Grand Admiral Mango · Post by **Grand Admiral Mango** » 2004-05-23 05:56am

Oh, but I’m sure the star trek galaxy have advanced well beyond the primitive usage of mere duct tape

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-05-23 01:40pm

Grand Admiral Mango wrote:Oh, but I’m sure the star trek galaxy have advanced well beyond the primitive usage of mere duct tape

I doubt it, in fact they have probably regressed to the point of no longer being able to make it.
Lets look at the evidence:

Duct Tape would provide better protection than Redshirt uniforms in ground combat.

Duct Tape rolls could be launched by Slingshots to bring down Borg when they have adapted to phasers.

A Duct tape roll could be used to block a Batleth, allowing you to knife the klingon warrior using it without danger.

Duct tape could be used to seal those pesky warp-core breaches.

Duct tape could tie down prisoners and secure them without needing to rely on easily bypassed and overloaded forcefields.

You could use Duct tape to cover Wesley and Data's mouths, finally getting them to shut up.

I think the evidence speaks for itself.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-05-24 03:04am

1. The Enterprise uses its uber traktorbeam to play bowling with a moon against the ISD's

2. no idea

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2004-06-05 03:35am

1) Voyager or Enterprise flies near a star or pulsar. Star Destroyers follow. Voyager or Enterprise uses a charged cadeon pulse (or something equally technobabbly) to either cause a solar flare or a gravitic blast from the sun or pulsar, wiping out the ISD's.

2) The ISD's open fire, disabling the Enterprise. Just as he's about to die, Q appears, saves Picard, makes all the ISD's disappear, and tells Picard, "You owe me one, mon capitane!"

Now for an alternate scenario: Sisko and the Defiant.

3) Defiant gets attacked by 4 ISD's. It runs into the wormhole with its shields failing, and Sisko convinces the wormhole aliens/bajoran prophets to wipe out the ISD's.

4) ISD's attack DS9. While they attack, the Defiant lays a cloaked minefield around them and as soon as they move the mines blow up, replicate themselves, blow up, replicate themselves, etc till the ISD's are all destroyed. Who cares if it violates conservation of energy?

5) Defiant is disabled, and surrenders. Then Sisko and Worf and Kira and Dax and an anonymous redshirt beam onto the bridge of an ISD. Worf stupidly drops his phaser and attacks with a Batleh, taking off the heads of stormtroopers. Dax and Sisko shoot people, and Kira loses her gun and ends up in hand to hand combat against the Imperial captain. All the stormtroopers shoot the redshirt at once, then get killed by Sisko. They then flood the rest of the ship with a neuron gas to kill the stormies on board (all 37,000 crewmembers as well), and turn the ISD's weapons on the other three, somehow destroying them all. Then he makes a long boring speech about the horrors of war.

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2004-06-05 03:37am

Grand Admiral Mango wrote:Oh, but I’m sure the star trek galaxy have advanced well beyond the primitive usage of mere duct tape

Duh. How far back are you?

We switched to quantum duct tape last season.

Quantum makes everything better!

I hear next year it'll be Trilithium duct tape.

Dark Primus · Post by **Dark Primus** » 2004-06-07 07:15am

Mutant Headcrab wrote:1) It should be obvious that the multi-gigaton photons will trash the pathetic, weak shielded Star Destroyers.

What shields? They don't have shields.

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2004-06-07 10:16am

Fire torpedoes into the "shield generator globe" on the SSD, which will of course blow them up and take down the (apparently useless) shields. Then fire phasers into the bridge, which will of course cause the SSD to crash into something nearby, since there can't possibly be an auxilary bridge.

Lord Revan · Post by **Lord Revan** » 2004-06-07 11:07am

Praxis wrote:Fire torpedoes into the "shield generator globe" on the SSD, which will of course blow them up and take down the (apparently useless) shields. Then fire phasers into the bridge, which will of course cause the SSD to crash into something nearby, since there can't possibly be an auxilary bridge.

There is no "shield generator globes" on the SSD or the SD, so think harder.

Bob the Gunslinger · Post by **Bob the Gunslinger** » 2004-06-07 05:55pm

Maybe Picard can convince Q to switch Endor with Eddore.

(From the Lensmen books)

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2004-06-07 08:30pm

Lord Revan wrote:
There is no "shield generator globes" on the SSD or the SD, so think harder.

That's the point! Why do you think I put quotes around them?

But all the trekkies seem to THINK that the sensor/scanner globes are shield generators, and this is a "let trek win" thread, remember?

Kamakazie Sith · Post by **Kamakazie Sith** » 2004-06-08 12:07am

Praxis wrote:
Lord Revan wrote:
There is no "shield generator globes" on the SSD or the SD, so think harder.
That's the point! Why do you think I put quotes around them?

But all the trekkies seem to THINK that the sensor/scanner globes are shield generators, and this is a "let trek win" thread, remember?

But ALL the trekkies don't think that.

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2004-06-08 12:49am

Sorry, I'm talking about obsessive "Trek rules, Star Wars sucks!" trekkies. Not normal, intelligent ones that stay out of ST vs SW debates because the winner is obvious

Every ST vs SW debate I've been in had SOME idiot jumping out "The Enterprise would just shoot the shield generator on the SSD and ISD's, then blow up the bridge! If a couple A-wings can do it, so can the Enterprise! HaaaHaha!".

Kamakazie Sith · Post by **Kamakazie Sith** » 2004-06-08 12:55am

Praxis wrote:Sorry, I'm talking about obsessive "Trek rules, Star Wars sucks!" trekkies. Not normal, intelligent ones that stay out of ST vs SW debates because the winner is obvious

Every ST vs SW debate I've been in had SOME idiot jumping out "The Enterprise would just shoot the shield generator on the SSD and ISD's, then blow up the bridge! If a couple A-wings can do it, so can the Enterprise! HaaaHaha!".

They are just newbies. Sadly, you could live to the end of time and probably never see an end to those. While we here scream "do some research" most people don't really want to do research on fictional debates. If you don't do your research then the "lasers can't even penetrate our navigational deflector shields" argument looks pretty damn good to someone who enjoys these debates but doesn't take them as serious as say something like abortion.

I'm speaking from experience I use to be like them.

All you can do is present your evidence and hope they see the reasoning behind it. If they don't then there is nothing you can do, stupid people will always exist. It's sad I know...

RevWaldo · Post by **RevWaldo** » 2004-07-01 03:08am

Original Idea for Let Trek Win.

The Empire Invades the Federation by crossing through a wormhole. But when they get to the Federation side, the SD discover that some sort of anomoly in the wormhole has shrunk the ship down to 2 feet. They need help returning to their own size.

SD run across the Enterprise E. Data makes some technobabble speech about how the anomoly in the wormhole works. SD start shooting at themselves to make the pain stop.