Golf Joke

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Tsyroc
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Golf Joke

Post by Tsyroc »

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.


"Well, it was like this", said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's rear. That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor. "Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife."........"Hey, this looks like yours!".......I don't remember much after that."
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
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The Aliens
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Post by The Aliens »

I hope that woman is arrested for assault with a weapon, as golf clubs can be dangerous weapons. It's people like her- using personal insults as justification for life threatening attacks- that are truly dangerous to society. :wink:
Last edited by The Aliens on 2004-05-24 09:53pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Faram
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Post by Faram »

The Aliens wrote:I hope that woman is arrested for assault with a weapon, as golf clubs can be dangerous weapons. It's people like her- using personal insults as justification for life threatening attacks- that are truly dangerous to society.
I think your humor chip is broken, go to 7-11 and buy a clue instead.
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Fear is the mother of all gods.

Nature does all things spontaneously, by herself, without the meddling of the gods. -Lucretius
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The Aliens
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Post by The Aliens »

I'm obviously being sarcastic. Perhaps I should have added a little picture to that to aid in your comprehension?
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Post by Faram »

The Aliens wrote:I'm obviously being sarcastic. Perhaps I should have added a little picture to that to aid in your comprehension?
Hmm I seem to have lost my sarcasm detector, might be because it's late and I should be doing other things instead.
[img=right]http://hem.bredband.net/b217293/warsaban.gif[/img]

"Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot; or he can, but does not want to. ... If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent. If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked. ... If, as they say, God can abolish evil, and God really wants to do it, why is there evil in the world?" -Epicurus


Fear is the mother of all gods.

Nature does all things spontaneously, by herself, without the meddling of the gods. -Lucretius
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Post by Howedar »

The Aliens wrote:I'm obviously being sarcastic. Perhaps I should have added a little picture to that to aid in your comprehension?
Yes, that is the common practice here. Perhaps you shall be more careful in the future.
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Post by Montcalm »

ROTFLMFFCAO :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Jerry Orbach 1935 2004
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Post by Gandalf »

Hehehe.

Golf ethics: What do you do when your golf partner says he's found his ball in the rough. But you know he's lying because you've got it in your pocket?
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"

- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
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Post by The Aliens »

Howedar wrote:
The Aliens wrote:I'm obviously being sarcastic. Perhaps I should have added a little picture to that to aid in your comprehension?
Yes, that is the common practice here. Perhaps you shall be more careful in the future.
I was under the impression that was for new users, about whom no-one knows political affiliation, or for instances in which the sarcasm is not blindingly obvious. If I post a rsponse like that to what is a sel-proclaimed joke from the title, isn't it apparent to all concerned the comment was facetious?
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Post by Defiant »

Gandalf wrote:Hehehe.

Golf ethics: What do you do when your golf partner says he's found his ball in the rough. But you know he's lying because you've got it in your pocket?
That's easy. Make him very familiar with your driver as you whack him upside the head with it.
Chris: "Way to go dad, fight the machine"
Stewie: "How do you know about the machine?"
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Post by Howedar »

The Aliens wrote:
Howedar wrote:Yes, that is the common practice here. Perhaps you shall be more careful in the future.
I was under the impression that was for new users, about whom no-one knows political affiliation, or for instances in which the sarcasm is not blindingly obvious. If I post a rsponse like that to what is a sel-proclaimed joke from the title, isn't it apparent to all concerned the comment was facetious?
1. I have no idea who the fuck you are.
2. We definately have people here stupid enough to not be joking.
3. Evidently, you do indeed need to provide some evidence you are kidding.
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The Aliens
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Post by The Aliens »

Howedar wrote:
The Aliens wrote:
Howedar wrote:Yes, that is the common practice here. Perhaps you shall be more careful in the future.
I was under the impression that was for new users, about whom no-one knows political affiliation, or for instances in which the sarcasm is not blindingly obvious. If I post a rsponse like that to what is a sel-proclaimed joke from the title, isn't it apparent to all concerned the comment was facetious?
1. I have no idea who the fuck you are.
2. We definately have people here stupid enough to not be joking.
3. Evidently, you do indeed need to provide some evidence you are kidding.
Fine, edited. And I'm The Aliens, nice to meet you. :)
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