The Perfect Job......

[MKSheppard]

Read this somewhere:

The Environmental Impact Statement for the Trans-Alaska Pipeline had to be delivered in a truck. I believe the executive summary was over 500 pages. I wonder if there was a "presidential summary" to the executive summary?

That'd be a sweet job; writing bullshit that no one will ever read, and you'd be able to insert shit like:

"In conclusion; An Imperial Star Destroyer could defeat a Galaxy Clas
ship handily."

Bury that in page 6,412 of 9,000 of the report, and you'e good to go.

[Bob the Gunslinger]

Just through in a bunch of dirty novels in there somewhere.

"And so, in conclusion, Alaska's long rigid pipeline burst over the beauty of mother nature, splashing her with a flood of sticky goo..."

Or just throw in Stephen King's IT about 8 times.

[HemlockGrey]

I bet the writers just churn out pages and pages of that shit to justify some obnoxiously high salary they get.

[TrailerParkJawa]

I bet the writers just churn out pages and pages of that shit to justify some obnoxiously high salary they get.

Actually, I had to take a EIR writing class in college. It's boring work, you have to write as dryly as possible. The actually people that write the report don't get paid well. The company that generates the report collects a hefty fee.

[Stofsk]

Just through in a bunch of dirty novels in there somewhere.

"And so, in conclusion, Alaska's long rigid pipeline burst over the beauty of mother nature, splashing her with a flood of sticky goo..."

That had me pissing myself. What a laugh!

Thanks.

[Crown]

Read this somewhere:

The Environmental Impact Statement for the Trans-Alaska Pipeline had to be delivered in a truck. I believe the executive summary was over 500 pages. I wonder if there was a "presidential summary" to the executive summary?

That'd be a sweet job; writing bullshit that no one will ever read, and you'd be able to insert shit like:

"In conclusion; An Imperial Star Destroyer could defeat a Galaxy Clas
ship handily."

Bury that in page 6,412 of 9,000 of the report, and you'e good to go.

Shit, we did that in every one of our final year design projects for uni. Still got High Distinctions and everything!

[Mr Bean]

How an Presidental Summery is generated
First the Summery Fairy(Normaly a super high level govy offical just below cabinit level) demands a summery then all the other high level goverment people get togther write a list based on what they think the high level person wants and then brainstorm until they thought up all the topic that matter even vaugly in what that person wants then they send it out to all those people who's job it is to know these things because of course in the goverment if you look hard enough you can find any kind of deparment you want even if you want the department of surfing porn while eating donuts on goverment time

Then all the folks incharge of these departments get this word from above and overeact and order their worker bees to get any and all of the information required

The worker bees know they are insulated by several levels of folks between those that make and those that read are free to deliver whatever they want knowing it will not be read and they can't be traced

If on the off chance the department has acutal anything to do with what the summary is on then the worker bees mearly print out what they need in around twenty minutes then wait five days and turn it in
Those folks shooting for high preformance remarks turn it in three days
And the new folks don't ruin the system because they acutal try and gather up all relavant information instead of the twenty minutes of work nessary to put your part in

[Ace Pace]

"In conclusion; An Imperial Star Destroyer could defeat a Galaxy Clas
ship handily."

Shit, we did that in every one of our final year design projects for uni. Still got High Distinctions and everything! [/quote]

You actully did that? COOL man!

[Col. Crackpot]

in the 11th grade i had a chemistry teacher who didn't bother to read the conclusions on our lab reports. We got away with throwing random sentences into every paragraph. Shit like 'Mickey Mouse lives in Disneyland.', 'The Pope wears a pointy white hat.' and 'Mr. Sunfalufagus from Sesame Street sure could use a shave.'. We got away with it for months.

[IRG CommandoJoe]

in the 11th grade i had a chemistry teacher who didn't bother to read the conclusions on our lab reports. We got away with throwing random sentences into every paragraph. Shit like 'Mickey Mouse lives in Disneyland.', 'The Pope wears a pointy white hat.' and 'Mr. Sunfalufagus from Sesame Street sure could use a shave.'. We got away with it for months.

Did anyone ever find out?