Is spanking acceptable disciplinary action for children?

[Durandal]

Thoughts from both parents and non-parents alike.

Personally, I don't have a problem with ass-whacking. When I was young, it taught me who was boss, and my mother had zero inhibitions about bending me over her knee, pulling my ear (Hell, she still does that), yelling at me or slapping me in public, if that's what it took to shut me up. My mom didn't take my shit.

I think I turned out all right. :D

Thoughts?

[Mr Bean]

Fear of force rather than force itself

If you need to hit your child you have already failed

[Spoonist]

Violence is always a cop out for the weak minded.

If you can't even handle your own children without beating them than I'm sorry for you, you are just another bully hitting people smaller than yourself.

[Darth Wong]

Mind you, spanking and "beating" your kids are generally considered two different things.

Beating implies serious pain and injury. Spanking generally implies no injury, and only enough pain to send a message. Nevertheless, it's not something you want to do too often. However, theory and observation do not always mesh. Most of the people who say they would never ever spank their kids don't have any kids. Of those that do, I have observed that no-spank households tend to produce brats.

[Darth Wong]

I suppose I should also point out that excessive-spank households also tend to produce brats. It's the people who almost never do it, but whose kids know it's possible, whose kids seem to be controllable.

[Knife]

I suppose I should also point out that excessive-spank households also tend to produce brats. It's the people who almost never do it, but whose kids know it's possible, whose kids seem to be controllable.

This is the general idea that I use on my kids. There has to be a consequences to ones actions, obviously they have to be in context and in scale with the offense but consequences none the less. Bean said that the fear of the punishment should do and if you have to resort to the punishment then you've already lost but they have to know that you will do it or its a hallow threat.

Its a balancing act to punish your kids by either the action or threat of action. But damnit sometimes the kid rates a wack in the ass.

[Alyeska]

Spaking is just fine as long as you do it properly.

Never spank in anger
Never spank just to cause pain

Don't spank older kids because if they don't respect you then, all your doing is pissing them off (I have heard of 16 year olds getting spankings)

When you spank you should associate it with the world NO and don't back down from NO

Always use positive reinformcent afterwards so the kid still knows you love them.

[XPViking]

Wasn't this thread done before? Mr. Bean and Spoonist, listen please. When a parent "spanks" their child, they are NOT taking pleasure in it, okay? If a parent is, then that parent needs to seek help.

XPViking

[Spoonist]

Making a distinction between spanking and beating is another cop out.

If you are spanking your child then you are using violence to enforce your words. So instead of teaching them the truth of your words you are teaching them that the strong have the right to enforce their way on the weak. To me that is teaching your children to be bullies. They will learn by ascosiation that if they want to enforce their will it is OK to use violence.
Abused children is more likely to abuse others.
Beaten children is more likely to beat others.
Violence begets violence.

->Darth Wong
We tend to see what we like to see. In my world I'd say the observation is reversed and that the brats come from the other side of the fence. But I don't think that either of us can produce any numbers to that effect.

[Kuja]

Spoonist, I think you're reading wrong. Spanking should be used AS A LAST RESORT, when sending a kid to his room/giving him a stern talking/grounding doesn't work. It should be saved for when a kid's done something REALLY wrong, that they KNOW they shouldn't have.

Child abuse is hitting the kid when it's uncalled for. Thirty smacks with a paddle is excessive. One smack with the hand is not.

[Darth Wong]

Of course abused kids are likely to abuse others. But you are assuming that kids would never learn that physical force can be used in order to enforce one's will unless their parents teach them. That is simply ridiculous; the use of physical force is instinctive. Society at large uses physical force to discipline criminals, does it not? Do you also disapprove of this?

I smell a false dilemma fallacy in your posts; you seek to polarize between never laying a finger on your kids and beating them. You seek to erase distinctions between light discipline and child abuse. You make no distinction between discipline for which the parent explains to the child why he is being punished and the arbitrary beatings of a drunken child abuser.

Tell me, have you ever spanked your kids, or used any form of physical force whatsoever to enforce your will? Even grabbing a kid and making him sit in a chair is the use of physical force, you know.

[Mr Bean]

A single hit is all ever that should ever be required, I personaly(Though personaly is a terrible example and generaly its to long a term study for most unviersitys to bother with) that a single example, one hit, one single act should be enough if it was sufficent and its well remebered by the child


Like I say, FEAR of Force rather than force itself

Of course I was not rasied on this prehaps sqewing or enforcing my viewpoint, but I know at the age of 12 my mom never hit me agian becuase I would not let her(I was physicly stronger/faster than her) so draw your own conculsions

[Kelly Antilles]

I do not want children. There is a long story behind that, but that's for another day.

Now, I love children (as long as I can give them back), but there are times when "normal" discipline doesn't work. A smack to the leg or butt is not bad, in my opinion. Eventually, just the THREAT will straighten a child out (in my experience). I know it worked on me. My dad had to only threaten to get a switch or his belt and I'd be an angel. (of course, I'm always and angel, but that's yet another story )

A spank should be just enough to make the skin sting. That's it. That's all you need. Anything beyond that is beating. We don't want that, but we do want to teach respect.

I had a friend who would not let his kids say "ma'am" or "sir" to anyone. I found that rather... odd. However, he did allow me to discipline them when I would watch them for him, or even if I was around. They were told that when we were around, we had permission and they were to listen to us as if we were their parents.

[Knife]

The biggest brats I ever knew growing up were the ones who's parents would treaten all sort of punishments but their kids would know that nothing would ever be done to them. If your going to use treat of force, you first have to prove that you will use force.

[Darth Wong]

However, wife-spanking is OK

[Kelly Antilles]

However, wife-spanking is OK

In fact, it's encouraged.

(damn, I wish I could find a smiley wiggling it's eyebrows!!)

[Knife]

However, wife-spanking is OK

Was only a matter of time before Mike would bring up something like that.

[XaLEv]

However, wife-spanking is OK

In fact, it's encouraged.

(damn, I wish I could find a smiley wiggling it's eyebrows!!)

Like this?

[Kelly Antilles]

It's great, but it looks like it has damn inch worms instead of eyebrows.

[Antediluvian]

However, wife-spanking is OK

How about husband spanking?

[Howedar]

If used very rarely, I think spanking is a good thing.

[Durandal]

However, wife-spanking is OK

I should have a post count for how many posts a thread goes on before Mike mentions something having to do with women's anuses.

Like I say, FEAR of Force rather than force itself

Ah, raising kids with the Tarkin Doctrine. :)

[NecronLord]

However, wife-spanking is OK

I should have a post count for how many posts a thread goes on before Mike mentions something having to do with women's anuses.

Mmmm wife-spanking....

Like I say, FEAR of Force rather than force itself

Ah, raising kids with the Tarkin Doctrine.

worked on me. *thinks* hang on, that produces evil children..

[haas mark]

Thoughts from both parents and non-parents alike.

Personally, I don't have a problem with ass-whacking. When I was young, it taught me who was boss, and my mother had zero inhibitions about bending me over her knee, pulling my ear (Hell, she still does that), yelling at me or slapping me in public, if that's what it took to shut me up. My mom didn't take my shit.

I think I turned out all right.

Thoughts?

My parents extended a bit beyond that....they continued the grudge until it got into the house....after that,. it involved belts, plastic serving spoons, a broom, and an aluminum pot in one instance.

Coming from my family, it's hard to gauge.

[Hotfoot]

However, wife-spanking is OK

In fact, it's encouraged.

(damn, I wish I could find a smiley wiggling it's eyebrows!!)

Your wish is my command...