Funniest Trek moment for You

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-06-04 02:41am

In the course of over 500 episodes and ten feature-length motionpictures, which moment in any of the incarnations of Trek has caused you to laugh the most, to seem the funniest to you?

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-06-04 02:46am

For me it's, hands down, O'Brien and Bashir's RAF bit with Quark from Act 1 of Homefront:

14A INT. QUARK'S

It's a normal crowd. People barely take notice as
O'Brien and BASHIR walk down the spiral staircase,
wearing World War Two-era R.A.F. uniforms, complete
with leather headgear, and in Bashir's case, a silk
pilot's scarf.

O'BRIEN
(to Quark)
Barkeep.

Quark rolls his eyes. He's been through this before
with these guys.

QUARK
So what can I get you two flyboys.

BASHIR
A scotch neat, and a pint o'
bitters for me mate.

O'BRIEN
And be quick about it. The
cabbage crates'll be coming back
over the briny any minute now.

Quark puts the glasses down.

QUARK
All right, all right. I'd hate to
let the "Jerries" strafe that
"green and pleasant land" of yours
while you two were taking time out
for a drink.

BASHIR
No choice. Ritual, you know.

He and O'Brien raise their glasses.

DEEP SPACE NINE: "Homefront" - 11/04/95 - ACT ONE 13A.

14A CONTINUED:

0'BRIEN
To Clive. The best bloke ever to
prang his kite into the Channel.

BASHIR
Stiff upper lip.

O'BRIEN
Hear, hear.

They toast and drink.

QUARK
Now remember what I said about
throwing glasses.

They put the glasses down on the bar.

O'BRIEN
(to Bashir)
So, want to go back up and take
another crack at the Jerries?

Just that way that Alexander Sidding and Colm Meaney deliver it cracks me up everytime.

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-06-04 02:52am

Too many to localise into one occurance, however some of the lines Spock makes in TOS were dryly amusing.

"The Corbomite Maneuvre"
Bailey: "We humans have this thing called adrenaline sir, it makes us excited."

Spock: "That sounds most inconvenient; have you considered having it removed?"

"Star Trek 3"
Kirk: "Spock mindmelded with you, and transfered his soul into your mind. That's why you've been acting a little weird."

McCoy: "That green-blooded sonofabitch! It's revenge for all those arguments he lost."

And who could forget Garak? "In the Pale Moonlight"
Garak: "I left him with the distinct impression that if he tried tampering with the door... it may explode."

Sisko: "I hope that was just an impression."

Garak: "It's best not to trifle ourselves with minutiae."

Of course the Garak one gets quoted a lot anyway. It's still funny.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-06-04 02:58am

Yeah the Star Trek III bit is always great; same with V when they try to teach Spock campfire songs.

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-06-04 03:01am

Just remembered another Garak moment, though it wasn't really a quote. It's just something he does (or to be more precise, something he DOESN'T do).

Quark asks him to assassinate him. So what happens is we see Garak program a number of holodeck simulations of Quark's 'death' and shows it to him, in order to get him to say which one he finds preferable.

Quark is sitting at his bar, enjoying a soup. Suddenly Garak comes out of nowhere, and snaps his head. He turns around and goes to the hidden Quark and asks: "Well, what do you think?"

"Horrible! I don't want that 'snap' to be the last thing I hear."

Garak: "Quark we've gone over everything: you don't want to be poisoned because it tastes too bad. You don't want to be vaporised because you need to leave a body; this of course leaves out explosives. You don't want to be stabbed either because it looks too painful!"

Quark: "Look, I want to die, but I DON'T want to see it coming."

Garak: "Ah! You want to be SURPRISED."

Quark: "THat's it! I want to go to bed, and wake up in heaven, and wonder 'How the hell did I get here?'"

Garak: "Easily accomplished. (Leans in) I promise you, you won't see it coming."

And Quark doesn't see it coming, because Garak just forgets about it.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-06-04 03:09am

Omet'iklan: I am First Omet'iklan, and I am dead. As of this moment, we are all dead. We go into battle to reclaim our lives. This we do gladly, for we are Jem'Hadar. Remember, victory is life.
O'Brien: I am Miles O'Brien and I am very much alive. And I wish to stay that way.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-06-04 03:19am

I've got another O'Brien one, this time from Take me Out to the Holosuite:

BASHIR
What are you eating?

O'BRIEN
I'm not eating, I'm chewing.

BASHIR
Chewing what?

O'BRIEN
Gum. It's traditional. I had
the replicator create some.

BASHIR
And they just... chewed it?

O'BRIEN
They infused the gum with flavor.

BASHIR
What flavor did you infuse it
with?

O'BRIEN
Scotch.
(offers him a stick)
Try it?

Bashir begins chewing away.

BASHIR
(yummy)
Mmmm.

...and from Worf:

SISKO
I didn't think so. So when the
T'Kumbra's captain challenged us
to a contest of courage,
teamwork and sacrifice, I
accepted on your behalf.

WORF
We will destroy them.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2004-06-04 04:50am

"Cover him, Spock-o. Now listen 'ere, sweetheart, the Federation's moving in. You play ball, we'll cut you in for a piece of the action. You don't, you're out. All the way out, you know what I mean?"

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-06-04 05:38am

Uraniun235 wrote:"Cover him, Spock-o. Now listen 'ere, sweetheart, the Federation's moving in. You play ball, we'll cut you in for a piece of the action. You don't, you're out. All the way out, you know what I mean?"

Heh. I liked the part where they try driving.

Of course, that episode strained credibility to bursting point, but it was nevertheless very funny.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2004-06-04 06:45am

Checkov's interrogation in ST4 is good...

"'Starfeet...' 'United Federation of Planets...'"

[...]

"If you don't stop playing games with me mister, we're through!"

"We are? May I go now?"

VF5SS · Post by **VF5SS** » 2004-06-04 07:22am

In ST 6 after Kirk has just been kissed by Azetbur and he's looking pretty satified, then McCoy looks over at him and says, "What is it with you?"

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2004-06-04 08:00am

JME2 wrote:
...and from Worf:

SISKO
I didn't think so. So when the
T'Kumbra's captain challenged us
to a contest of courage,
teamwork and sacrifice, I
accepted on your behalf.

WORF
We will destroy them.

I prefer another thing Worf said it thta episode. I can't remember the excat phrase but it was sumthing like:

Bashir: Hey he did'nt touch base.
Ezri: What do we do:

Worf: Find him and kill him.

just typical space viking thinking there.

Lord Revan · Post by **Lord Revan** » 2004-06-04 08:15am

VF5SS wrote:In ST 6 after Kirk has just been kissed by Azetbur and he's looking pretty satified, then McCoy looks over at him and says, "What is it with you?"

Do you mean Martia ?

VF5SS · Post by **VF5SS** » 2004-06-04 08:20am

Yeah, the shapeshifting lady type person.

Ubiquitous · Post by **Ubiquitous** » 2004-06-04 09:19am

Martok's reaction to Worf when he asks him to give Kor a commission in "Once more unto the breach" makes me laugh out loud every time I see it.

Also in the baseball episode: when Sisko tells his basepeople to rattle the batter, Worf shouts out: "Death to the opposition!"

Enola Straight · Post by **Enola Straight** » 2004-06-04 11:20am

STVI:TUC

Scotty says something along the lines of:

"Laddy, I know this ship like the back of me hand!"

He then turns around and walks head first into a bulkhead support beam with a loud metallic clank, knocking himself out.

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-06-04 12:09pm

That was ST V actually. St VI has a better Scotty moment anyway, accomplished with clever dialogue rather than slapstick buffoonry.

Spock: "Mr Scott, I understand you're having difficulties with the warp drive unit. How much time do you require for repair?"

Scott: (indignant) "There's nothing wrong with the bloody thing!"

Spock: (calmly) "Mr Scott, if we return to spacedock the assassins will surely find a way to dispose of their incriminating footwear, and we will never see the Captain or Doctor McCoy alive again."

Scott: (unhesitating) "Could take weeks sir."

Spock: "Thank you Mr Scott."

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-06-04 12:49pm

Stofsk wrote:That was ST V actually. St VI has a better Scotty moment anyway, accomplished with clever dialogue rather than slapstick buffoonry.

Spock: "Mr Scott, I understand you're having difficulties with the warp drive unit. How much time do you require for repair?"

Scott: (indignant) "There's nothing wrong with the bloody thing!"

Spock: (calmly) "Mr Scott, if we return to spacedock the assassins will surely find a way to dispose of their incriminating footwear, and we will never see the Captain or Doctor McCoy alive again."

Scott: (unhesitating) "Could take weeks sir."

Spock: "Thank you Mr Scott."

The better Scotty moment for me in V is when he's making his log about the dificulties in reparing the 1701-A and makes the moneky reference.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-06-04 02:19pm

hrm. so many . . . .

when Chekov wakes up in ST IV: (can't remember it all, so am paraphrasing)

Kirk: What's your name, rank and serial number?

Chekov: Name? Chekov, Pavel. Serial number? *lists off serial number* Rank? admiwal.

plus in TOS during trouble with tribbles.

Kirk: Scotty? what'd you do with the tribbles?

Scott: Oh, i gave them a very good home sir.

Kirk: Where?

Scott: I gave them to the klingons sir, where they'll be no tribble at all.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2004-06-04 02:28pm

STIV:

Spock: "I was trying the hell to communicate."

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2004-06-04 05:02pm

The entire episode "Trouble With Tribbles" is just a delight.

1. The bar-room brawl, with Mudd never getting hit, never spilling his drink.
2. Scotty explaining to Kirk what started the brawl.
3. The (dead) tribbles from the grain storage hitting Kirk in the head.
4. McCoy, Spock, and Scotty explaining what happened to the tribbles.

StarshipTitanic · Post by **StarshipTitanic** » 2004-06-04 05:48pm

The whole episode "Mudd's Women" was great, too. Defeating the androids is priceless.

Sidious · Post by **Sidious** » 2004-06-04 05:48pm

A couple of great lines from Worf make me crack up every time:

From TNG Season 2:

WORF TO WESLEY: AAAAAAAUUUUURRRGGGGHHHH! That is how the Klingon lures a mate.
WESLEY: Are you telling me to go yell at Cilea?
WORF: No. Men do not roar. *Women* roar.... Then they hurl heavy objects.... And claw at you...!
WESLEY: What does the man do?
WORF: He reads love poetry...! He ducks a lot.

DS9 Season 4 I think:

O'BRIEN: Worf, Keiko's having another baby.
WORF: NOW???

The look on his face is classic, obviously wanting nothing to do with delivering another O'Brien offspring.

Dahak · Post by **Dahak** » 2004-06-04 05:50pm

Qpid. Worf in tights. Hilarious

Starship Mine and Commander Hutchinson. How Picard sneaked away to go riding, and Data smalltalks with Hutchison...

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-06-04 06:56pm

Q to Worf: "Very funny, Worf. Eat any good books lately?"