Presidential Prayer Team

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-06-15 11:12pm

They were making fun of these guys on "This Week in God" on the Daily Show tonight, and I thought they made it up. Alas, no. They did not make it up.

http://www.presidentialprayerteam.com/info.php

(sigh)

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-06-15 11:18pm

So is God really in geo-stationary orbit over the White House?

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-06-15 11:23pm

Darth Wong wrote:They were making fun of these guys on "This Week in God" on the Daily Show tonight, and I thought they made it up. Alas, no. They did not make it up.

http://www.presidentialprayerteam.com/info.php

(sigh)

Where religion is concerned, there's nothing too insane to not be true. Of course they need your money in addition to your prayers.

By the way, if prayer gets credit when things turn out well, shouldn't it take the blame when things go bad?

This reminds me of that crackpot Peggy Noonan, who claimed God sent dolphins to rescue Elian Gonzales. Does that mean God sent the sharks to dispose of his mother?

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2004-06-15 11:33pm

My parents' church holds regular circle jerk prayer services where they pray exclusively for the President. It's kind of interesting to observe, because most prayers aren't really etreaties to ensure good job performance, enhanced competence or even safety really. Most are along the lines that that Archdio-er, President Bush will be proven right, and that his oppenents will be silenced. Because it's already established beyond reasonable doubt that he's within God's will, he just needs PRAYER POWER to get up over that hill.

How stupid is that, really? If God favored a particular world leader wouldn't such be predestined? And if said world leader was really in line with His will then why in the hell would He require the prayers of humans to come around and assist that leader?

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2004-06-15 11:39pm

Lazy Raptor wrote:My parents' church holds regular circle jerk prayer services where they pray exclusively for the President. It's kind of interesting to observe, because most prayers aren't really etreaties to ensure good job performance, enhanced competence or even safety really. Most are along the lines that that Archdio-er, President Bush will be proven right, and that his oppenents will be silenced. Because it's already established beyond reasonable doubt that he's within God's will, he just needs PRAYER POWER to get up over that hill.

How stupid is that, really? If God favored a particular world leader wouldn't such be predestined? And if said world leader was really in line with His will then why in the hell would He require the prayers of humans to come around and assist that leader?

How dare you attack God with things like logic! You godless hellbound heathen!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2004-06-15 11:39pm

This reminds me of that crackpot Peggy Noonan, who claimed God sent dolphins to rescue Elian Gonzales. Does that mean God sent the sharks to dispose of his mother?

No, it was Bill Clinton.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-06-15 11:42pm

I wonder. If John Kerry gets elected, will the Prayer Team support for him as they promise to do when they say they will act on the behalf of all future administrations?

Plekhanov · Post by **Plekhanov** » 2004-06-15 11:48pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:I wonder. If John Kerry gets elected, will the Prayer Team support for him as they promise to do when they say they will act on the behalf of all future administrations?

I suspect they’ll pray that he sees the light and turns into GWBmkII, either that or pray that he drives slowly through Dallas in an open top car

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-06-15 11:57pm

Remember, when the chips are down and it's the fourth quarter, you really need to pull it together. Keep those prayers in formation and coming hard, and focus on the Big W.

Crazy Goji · Post by **Crazy Goji** » 2004-06-16 12:00am

Gil Hamilton wrote:I wonder. If John Kerry gets elected, will the Prayer Team support for him as they promise to do when they say they will act on the behalf of all future administrations?

According to the Daily Show, if Kerry wins, they're going to have to, quote, "pray harder."

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-06-16 12:13am

I was hoping this was a joke. Or parody. Or ... something.

Besides, everytime I think of "prayer teams" like the one the site describes I always get reminded of Mark Twain's "War Prayer."

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-06-16 12:17am

I'd like to se them burst through one of those paper barriers in the Oval Office every morning with a booming announcer;

"Here they are! Your US Presidential Prayer Team!"

They all come out with jerseys, high-fiving each other and such.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-06-16 12:17am

Too bad the prayer team isn't like the one Pat Robertson wanted for the Supreme Justices.

Plekhanov · Post by **Plekhanov** » 2004-06-16 12:18am

Going slightly off topic, 2.8 mil praying for the Pres is pretty bad but at least that sentiment hasn’t made it into the national anthem yet. Every time I watch England play football I’m forced to hear our national anthem which repeatedly requests that “God save the Queen”, as an atheistic republican this hardly makes me feel patriotic.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-06-16 12:23am

Yeah, I've known about this for a while, they post a new "Pray for President Bush" thread every day at FR.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2004-06-16 12:32am

Plekhanov wrote:Going slightly off topic, 2.8 mil praying for the Pres is pretty bad but at least that sentiment hasn’t made it into the national anthem yet. Every time I watch England play football I’m forced to hear our national anthem which repeatedly requests that “God save the Queen”, as an atheistic republican this hardly makes me feel patriotic.

Why couldn't Rule Britannia be the national anthem? The chorus is one you can really belt out.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2004-06-16 12:47am

Stofsk wrote:I was hoping this was a joke. Or parody. Or ... something.

So was I and thus, I have one thing to say:

Fuck Dubya and his little fundies too.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2004-06-16 12:54am

Plekhanov wrote:Going slightly off topic, 2.8 mil praying for the Pres is pretty bad but at least that sentiment hasn?t made it into the national anthem yet. Every time I watch England play football I?m forced to hear our national anthem which repeatedly requests that ?God save the Queen?, as an atheistic republican this hardly makes me feel patriotic.

Hey man, the queen is great.

Plekhanov · Post by **Plekhanov** » 2004-06-16 12:58am

SirNitram wrote:Why couldn't Rule Britannia be the national anthem? The chorus is one you can really belt out.

There are occasionally small campaigns to change the anthem but they never seem to make much headway, I guess because they always run into vociferous opposition from royalists and general traditionalists and also because those who want a new anthem (such as myself) are often too concerned with other issues to spend much time on what is in reality a minor annoyance (though one of great symbolic importance).

I’d take Rule Britania for the chorus or Jerusalem for the words (I’m a Blake fan even if he was a religious nut) either would be much better than what we currently have to put up with.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-06-16 09:34am

Lazy Raptor wrote:My parents' church holds regular circle jerk prayer services where they pray exclusively for the President. It's kind of interesting to observe, because most prayers aren't really etreaties to ensure good job performance, enhanced competence or even safety really. Most are along the lines that that Archdio-er, President Bush will be proven right, and that his oppenents will be silenced. Because it's already established beyond reasonable doubt that he's within God's will, he just needs PRAYER POWER to get up over that hill.

Ah hah! So it wasn't Hussein who flew the weapons of mass destruction out of Iraq ... it was Satan!

CrimsonRaine · Post by **CrimsonRaine** » 2004-06-16 10:12am

Darth Wong wrote:They were making fun of these guys on "This Week in God" on the Daily Show tonight, and I thought they made it up. Alas, no. They did not make it up.

http://www.presidentialprayerteam.com/info.php

(sigh)

I.. I couldn't read it all. My eyeballs were twitching while my stomach begin to clench in dry-heaval.

Warning. The following is a fit:

Why? Whywhywhy? I hate this fuck. I really, really, really despise this fuck. Let's enforce Christian values on the American public. Let's add prayers to our every day life, because our tight-assed President says it's right. Mother fuckers. Let's make them believe that God is on our side. Let's use religion to manipulate the American public.

Not only is it offensive to me that they are enforcing these Christian values, but the fact that it's being misused. You don't need to tell me about Christianity. I was raised Roman Catholic and learned about everything you need to know about Jehovah's Witnesses. Bush is taking these values and manipulating them, making individuals believe that the entire country is praying together so we can get revenge? Or, excuse me, for the betterment of the country? Has the line between Church and State been severed by a man who can't even read a speech from a fucking screen?

Needless to say, I'm probably going off the wall with this in the wrong forum. But this was perhaps the most aggravating thing I have ever heard of.

In short: those fuckers.

'Raine

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-06-16 10:26am

How come no one has touched the idea of prayer vending machines? Insert a quarter and you get a standard prayer spoken back on a set topic. For bonus forgiveness, spend one dollar on any of the main sins and get a political forgiveness absolutely free. Guaranteed by the man upstairs to help you succeed in politics or love or...

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-06-16 11:06am

CrimsonRaine wrote:I.. I couldn't read it all. My eyeballs were twitching while my stomach begin to clench in dry-heaval.

It gets worse. Did you see their recommended prayers which were converted from lines in the Bible to insert President Bush's name?

I pray that You, O Lord will continually bring goodness and sweetness into the President?s life rather than sorrow, causing him to know that taking joy in You makes him strong. ? Nehemiah 8:10

I pray that the President will delight himself in You, Lord, knowing that You will give him the desires of his heart. ? Psalm 37:4

I pray that the President will trust in You, Lord, with all his heart, and lean not on his own understanding. I pray that in all his ways he will acknowledge You, and You will direct his paths. ? Proverbs 3:5-6

I pray that You will always help the President to have a gentle answer that turns away wrath, keeping him from harsh words that stir up anger. ? Proverbs 15:1

O Lord, remind the President continually that You alone are His strength, and that it is You who allows him to accomplish any high and lofty goals. ? Habakkuk 3:19

I pray that when the President faces obstacles, he will remember that victory comes not by might nor by power, but by Your Spirit. ? Zechariah 4:6

I pray that the President will always love You, O Lord, with all his heart, with all his soul, with all his mind, and with all his strength ? and that he will love his neighbor as himself. Make him aware that there is no greater command than this. ? Mark 12:30-31

O Lord, grant that President Bush remembers often Your deep and abiding love for him, knowing that he will ultimately be victorious spiritually because You died for him. ? Romans 8:37

I pray that President Bush will put bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil away from him with all malice. I pray also that kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness will characterize him, just as they do God and His Son Jesus Christ. ? Ephesians 4:31-32

I pray that the President will turn to You for his strength, knowing that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him. ? Philippians 4:13

I pray that You will grant the President the passion and the will to do all his work heartily, remembering that he is serving You and not men. ? Colossians 3:23

O faithful Lord and God, strengthen and protect the President and guard him from the evil one. ? II Thessalonians 3:3

I pray that the President will submit willingly to You, O God, resisting the devil so the enemy will flee from him. ? James 4:7

I pray that the President, by doing good, may silence the ignorance of foolish men. ? I Peter 2:15

I pray, God, that President Bush will resist the temptation of pride and will humble himself under Your mighty hand, that in Your time You may lift him up. ? I Peter 5:6

Lord, I ask You to help President Bush to confess his sins before You, remembering that You are faithful and just and will cleanse him from sin and forgive him for all unrighteousness. ? I John 1:9

O God, let the President always be confident in approaching You, remembering that You hear his prayers when he asks in accord with Your will. May he always pray this way, with confidence. ? I John 5:14-15

Unbelievable.

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2004-06-16 11:13am

Oh my.....cock.

Coming from a secular country like Germany, this strikes me as totally absurd and bizarre. I really can't imagine such a BS happening for real. If I would have nit read it here, I would have thought of it as a fake.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2004-06-16 11:13am

I pray that You will always help the President to have a gentle answer that turns away wrath, keeping him from harsh words that stir up anger. ? Proverbs 15:1

That one's pretty good, actually.

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Presidential Prayer Team

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