FTaSDH - Current Ep - 1x05 - To Russia, With Love

UF: Stories written by users, both fanfics and original.

Moderator: LadyTevar

User avatar
Joe
Space Cowboy
Posts: 17314
Joined: 2002-08-22 09:58pm
Location: Wishing I was in Athens, GA

Post by Joe »

*chuckles*

Eagerly awaiting the next installment.

Happy to see you've finally used my joke. :lol:
Last edited by Joe on 2004-07-09 12:55am, edited 1 time in total.
Image

BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman

I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
User avatar
Durandal
Bile-Driven Hate Machine
Posts: 17927
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:26pm
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Contact:

Post by Durandal »

Stravo wrote:
Commander Phallus strode on to the bridge. Captain Brain whirled around. He was expecting this. They always had it out whenever the eyes reported a hot piece of ass at 12 o'clock.

"Captain, I'm taking command of this vessel," Phallus said with words as confident as his stride.

"You can't do that Phallus! We're ... we're in the middle of class! You can't handle it!" Brain protested vainly.

"The eyes and ears have briefed me on the situation, Captain. It's a substitute teacher, which falls under
my jurisdiction, and you know it," Phallus said smugly. Phallus motioned to Lieutenant Prostate. "Take him away, Lieutenant." Prostate moved toward the captain threateningly.

"You're not gonna get away with this," Brain said, defiant as Prostate escorted him off the bridge.

"Take it up with my balls."
I haven't laughed so loud reading something in a llooonnggg time. Great. I love Wilson's exact knowledge of linegerie. And Marina scoring was a wonderful capper. It's worth the wait.
I knew Commander Phallus was a winner. :) He may become a regular.
Damien Sorresso

"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
- The Onion
darthdavid
Pathetic Attention Whore
Posts: 5470
Joined: 2003-02-17 12:04pm
Location: Bat Country!

Post by darthdavid »

Execellent.
User avatar
MKSheppard
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Posts: 29842
Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm

Post by MKSheppard »

Durandal wrote:"Captain, I'm taking command of this vessel," Phallus said with words as confident as his stride.

"You can't do that Phallus! We're ... we're in the middle of class! You can't handle it!" Brain protested vainly.

"The eyes and ears have briefed me on the situation, Captain. It's a substitute teacher, which falls under [/i]my jurisdiction, and you know it," Phallus said smugly. Phallus motioned to Lieutenant Prostate. "Take him away, Lieutenant." Prostate moved toward the captain threateningly.

"You're not gonna get away with this," Brain said, defiant as Prostate escorted him off the bridge.

"Take it up with my balls."
Hilarious as fuck, and would have been even more hilarious in my opinion
if phallus had said it like 'juris DICK ton'. :twisted:
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
User avatar
Durandal
Bile-Driven Hate Machine
Posts: 17927
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:26pm
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Contact:

Post by Durandal »

MKSheppard wrote:
Durandal wrote:"Captain, I'm taking command of this vessel," Phallus said with words as confident as his stride.

"You can't do that Phallus! We're ... we're in the middle of class! You can't handle it!" Brain protested vainly.

"The eyes and ears have briefed me on the situation, Captain. It's a substitute teacher, which falls under [/i]my jurisdiction, and you know it," Phallus said smugly. Phallus motioned to Lieutenant Prostate. "Take him away, Lieutenant." Prostate moved toward the captain threateningly.

"You're not gonna get away with this," Brain said, defiant as Prostate escorted him off the bridge.

"Take it up with my balls."
Hilarious as fuck, and would have been even more hilarious in my opinion
if phallus had said it like 'juris DICK ton'. :twisted:
God fucking dammit, I can't believe I didn't think of that!
Damien Sorresso

"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
- The Onion
User avatar
Beowulf
The Patrician
Posts: 10619
Joined: 2002-07-04 01:18am
Location: 32ULV

Post by Beowulf »

Only problem with the characterization of me is: I can't play sports. I'm simply horrible,
"preemptive killing of cops might not be such a bad idea from a personal saftey[sic] standpoint..." --Keevan Colton
"There's a word for bias you can't see: Yours." -- William Saletan
Howedar
Emperor's Thumb
Posts: 12472
Joined: 2002-07-03 05:06pm
Location: St. Paul, MN

Post by Howedar »

I look foreward to many an exciting chess game.
Howedar is no longer here. Need to talk to him? Talk to Pick.
User avatar
El Moose Monstero
Moose Rebellion Ambassador
Posts: 3743
Joined: 2003-04-30 12:33pm
Location: The Cradle of the Rebellion... Oop Nowrrth, Like...
Contact:

Post by El Moose Monstero »

Another one well worth the wait, well done chaps. Applause for Commander Phallus, and in general, a good solid and very entertaining read throughout. How many more episodes to go before this can be cleaned up and put in the one at the bottom which I can't remember the name of?
Image
"...a fountain of mirth, issuing forth from the penis of a cupid..." ~ Dalton / Winner of the 'Frank Hipper Most Horrific Drag EVAR' award - 2004 / The artist formerly known as The_Lumberjack.

Evil Brit Conspiracy: Token Moose Obsessed Kebab Munching Semi Geordie
User avatar
Dartzap
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5969
Joined: 2002-09-05 09:56am
Location: Britain, Britain, Britain: Land Of Rain
Contact:

Post by Dartzap »

Completed and Cleaned fanfics maybe?

Very good, the dialogue between Stravo and the LT is very funny
EBC: Northeners, Huh! What are they good for?! Absolutely nothing! :P

Cybertron, Justice league...MM, HAB SDN City Watch: Sergeant Detritus

Days Unstabbed, Unabused, Unassualted and Unwavedatwithabutchersknife: 0
User avatar
Rob Wilson
Sith Apprentice
Posts: 7004
Joined: 2002-07-03 08:29pm
Location: N.E. Lincs - UK

Post by Rob Wilson »

I wish someone had told me about this sooner.

Colin with tourets.. I had to stop reading for 5 minutes to wipe the tears from my eye's. :lol:

This is almost as funny as El-boydo and I don't say that lightly!

And here was me thinking I'd be a Sex ed teacher. :) Or is that reserved for Broomstick?

We need more trolls, someone to really get the vitriol flowing against. Some real black humour. :twisted:

Anyway, lots more.

You know who's ego demands he be made President of the US, or premier of Canada at the least even if he nevers see's the fic.
"Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I get and beat you with, until you understand whose in f***ing command here!" Jayne : Firefly
"The officers can stay in the admin building and read the latest Tom Clancy novel thinking up new OOBs based on it." Coyote


Image Image
HAB Tankspotter - like trainspotting but with the thrill of 125mm retaliation if they spot you back
User avatar
RedImperator
Roosevelt Republican
Posts: 16465
Joined: 2002-07-11 07:59pm
Location: Delaware
Contact:

Post by RedImperator »

Oddly enough, you almost did end up the sex ed teacher, but we decided we wanted to reserve that part for someone else.
Image
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963
X-Ray Blues
User avatar
Rob Wilson
Sith Apprentice
Posts: 7004
Joined: 2002-07-03 08:29pm
Location: N.E. Lincs - UK

Post by Rob Wilson »

RedImperator wrote:Oddly enough, you almost did end up the sex ed teacher, but we decided we wanted to reserve that part for someone else.
Doesn't matter to me either way. As long as the fic is funny, the readers are happy. :wink:

I'll let you all get on with it.
"Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I get and beat you with, until you understand whose in f***ing command here!" Jayne : Firefly
"The officers can stay in the admin building and read the latest Tom Clancy novel thinking up new OOBs based on it." Coyote


Image Image
HAB Tankspotter - like trainspotting but with the thrill of 125mm retaliation if they spot you back
User avatar
Stuart Mackey
Drunken Kiwi Editor of the ASVS Press
Posts: 5946
Joined: 2002-07-04 12:28am
Location: New Zealand
Contact:

Post by Stuart Mackey »

Durandal wrote:
MKSheppard wrote:
Durandal wrote:"Captain, I'm taking command of this vessel," Phallus said with words as confident as his stride.

"You can't do that Phallus! We're ... we're in the middle of class! You can't handle it!" Brain protested vainly.

"The eyes and ears have briefed me on the situation, Captain. It's a substitute teacher, which falls under [/i]my jurisdiction, and you know it," Phallus said smugly. Phallus motioned to Lieutenant Prostate. "Take him away, Lieutenant." Prostate moved toward the captain threateningly.

"You're not gonna get away with this," Brain said, defiant as Prostate escorted him off the bridge.

"Take it up with my balls."
Hilarious as fuck, and would have been even more hilarious in my opinion
if phallus had said it like 'juris DICK ton'. :twisted:
God fucking dammit, I can't believe I didn't think of that!
It was hilarious..but you need more me :)
Via money Europe could become political in five years" "... the current communities should be completed by a Finance Common Market which would lead us to European economic unity. Only then would ... the mutual commitments make it fairly easy to produce the political union which is the goal"

Jean Omer Marie Gabriel Monnet
--------------
User avatar
phongn
Rebel Leader
Posts: 18487
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:11pm

Post by phongn »

:D :D Good times
User avatar
phongn
Rebel Leader
Posts: 18487
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:11pm

Post by phongn »

Durandal wrote:
Joe wrote:You need to bring in Stewie, have him as some weird 12 year old kid who hangs out around the school for some reason and brags about benchpressing 228 pounds or whatever.
Our goal is to incorporate all of the more famous trolls at some point.
Oh yes, you must incorporate Stewart. That fool is up to his old antics on SB, I need to laugh at his expense :P
User avatar
XaLEv
Lore Monkey
Posts: 5372
Joined: 2002-07-04 06:35am

Post by XaLEv »

He was about to get up and leave the building when he spotted a small black pile of cloth along the baseboard near the closet. Litter he thought, and considered leaving it for the janitor. But angry as he was at himself and his superiors, he still had responsibilities.
I laughed for a good thirty seconds when I saw this paragraph. Bravo, gentlemen.
「かかっ―」
User avatar
Chardok
GET THE FUCK OFF MY OBSTACLE!
Posts: 8488
Joined: 2003-08-12 09:49am
Location: San Antonio

Post by Chardok »

EXCELLENT WORK!

*claps*

one quick nitpick:
My mom wear Red lacy thongs, you goobers.

:twisted:
Image
User avatar
Durandal
Bile-Driven Hate Machine
Posts: 17927
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:26pm
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Contact:

Post by Durandal »

Is she hot? :)

EDIT: You should now see why Red recommended "Stacy" as your custom title.
Damien Sorresso

"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
- The Onion
User avatar
Durandal
Bile-Driven Hate Machine
Posts: 17927
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:26pm
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Contact:

Post by Durandal »

Rob Wilson wrote:This is almost as funny as El-boydo and I don't say that lightly!
Yes, Kynes' abandonment of the tale of the Man Without Fear left a void in my life, and I had to fill it. :) You'll notice that there's a reference to El Boydo in the first episode.
And here was me thinking I'd be a Sex ed teacher. :) Or is that reserved for Broomstick?
We thought you'd be more fun as an ex-military lecher. The lingerie fetish just came naturally. :)
We need more trolls, someone to really get the vitriol flowing against. Some real black humour. :twisted:
Oh don't worry. The season finale will give you your fill of trolls.
You know who's ego demands he be made President of the US, or premier of Canada at the least even if he nevers see's the fic.
Alas, the president in the story is Bush. Strowbridge will just have to live with it. :)
Damien Sorresso

"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
- The Onion
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Wow, that was great! Commander Phallus was a riot, and I liked Mr. Wilson's part too. LOL! Spanky, as usual, blew all the fuses on my sense of humor :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

EDIT: Hey Durandal! Can I get a Railgun I can kill trolls with? It'll be just like Quake, and I can give one to Mr. Wilson too :)
Image Image
User avatar
Durandal
Bile-Driven Hate Machine
Posts: 17927
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:26pm
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Contact:

Post by Durandal »

You'll get a railgun when Spanky gets his night-stick. :)
Damien Sorresso

"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
- The Onion
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Durandal wrote:You'll get a railgun when Spanky gets his night-stick. :)
Dammit... :D
Image Image
User avatar
Dalton
For Those About to Rock We Salute You
For Those About to Rock We Salute You
Posts: 22637
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:16pm
Location: New York, the Fuck You State
Contact:

Post by Dalton »

Ohhhhh, the comedy. I love it, guys...but not enough me :)

As funny as Commander Phallus was, however, nothing will ever beat Colin Witz with tourette's.
Image
Image
To Absent Friends
Dalton | Admin Smash | Knight of the Order of SDN

"y = mx + bro" - Surlethe
"You try THAT shit again, kid, and I will mod you. I will
mod you so hard, you'll wish I were Dalton." - Lagmonster

May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce.
User avatar
Chardok
GET THE FUCK OFF MY OBSTACLE!
Posts: 8488
Joined: 2003-08-12 09:49am
Location: San Antonio

Post by Chardok »

Wait, wait...

Stacy was the name of the brother from Weird Science, yes?
Image
User avatar
RedImperator
Roosevelt Republican
Posts: 16465
Joined: 2002-07-11 07:59pm
Location: Delaware
Contact:

Post by RedImperator »

Chardok wrote:Wait, wait...

Stacy was the name of the brother from Weird Science, yes?
The answer to all your questions. Click on "Stacy's Mom"
Image
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963
X-Ray Blues
Post Reply