Fuzzy for President!

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-09-02 09:10pm

Oh and the Shin-Zue/Shar-Pei's of China want refrences to their record of creature rights abuse of the Himilian cats....

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2004-09-02 10:19pm

We need a president with balls. Does Fuzzy still have his?

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-09-03 12:21am

Hmmmm, do both canidates meet the age requirements to run for President?

Even in standard dog years Apache might still be too young if he went from training right into police service.

Perinquus · Post by **Perinquus** » 2004-09-03 03:34am

Tsyroc wrote:Hmmmm, do both canidates meet the age requirements to run for President?

Even in standard dog years Apache might still be too young if he went from training right into police service.

As it happens, Apache did go right from training into police service, but as he has served for some years, and is now 5 1/2 actual years old, this would make him just over 38 in human years. This will make him our youngest president ever, if elected, but he is eligible.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-09-03 09:04am

Perinquus wrote:As it happens, Apache did go right from training into police service, but as he has served for some years, and is now 5 1/2 actual years old, this would make him just over 38 in human years. This will make him our youngest president ever, if elected, but he is eligible.

His youth and vitality will play well with voters, I imagine, since the voting public responds well to charisma. Apache might take Fuzzy in televised debates this way, in the same way most people who watched the Kennedy/Nixon debate on TV thought Kennedy won, but most who heard it on radio thought Nixon did better. Apache being a young handsome German Shepherd with a distinguished service to his uniform is hard to be in terms of charisma (huh, like Kennedy). Fuzzy is cute, but he's an old man and kind of looks grumpy even when he's happy (huh, like Nixon), which could isolate him from younger demographics.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-09-03 09:14am

I imagine Fuzzy will get the hippy vote, because DOGS ARE PEOPLE TOO!!! They're just differently shaped.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-09-03 09:31am

Apache is a Canine-American too, though since he's part of the police force, that makes him bacon and thus loses the hippy vote.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-09-03 09:37am

Gil Hamilton wrote:Apache is a Canine-American too, though since he's part of the police force, that makes him bacon and thus loses the hippy vote.

Does this dog choose to work for the man? He could be considered a slave to the machine otherwise.

Glocksman · Post by **Glocksman** » 2004-09-03 11:11am

Both current canine candidates lack the necessary appeal to the majority of voters. We need a candidate who not only combines the tough stands of Apache with the likeableness and diplomacy of Fuzzy, but can advance the cause of female equality.

I give you the perfect candidate:

Macey:

Fearless (She attacked my niece's rottweiler

)
Intelligent (She somehow knows when I open a block of cheese)
Loyal (She loves me)
Territorial (She hates the mailman)

Plus she is all-American in that instead of being some snooty purebred, she's a mixture of breeds. Just like 90%+ of all Americans.

Vote Macey. For our future.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-09-03 11:37am

She's a black woman, Glocksman. She doesn't stand a chance, sorry.

Perinquus · Post by **Perinquus** » 2004-09-03 02:23pm

This just in:

Senator Whiskers, in a rare show of cross species unity, adressed the crowd at the Republicanine National convention.

Speaking from the podium, he spoke out strongly on behalf of Apache. Some highlights of his speech are:

What has happened to the Doggiecrats? This is a party that has historically been strong on defense. Cannot most of you remember when any dog was supposed to be aggressive and strong on defense? Don't we expect dogs to be territorial, and unafraid to show their teeth?

Sadly, those days seem to be over for the party I've worked with so closely for so many years. Today they're running, not a strong, aggressive dog, who will defend this country, but a pampered, sheltered house dog. This country is faced with a terrorist threat unprecendented in its history. We need a candidate who will strongly face such a threat. Fuzzy historically has a weak record on this issue. Does he expect to defend this country by licking people's hands, and trusting their good intentions? Does he expect half measures like urinating on their lawns will protect this country? Does he think that merely marking territory in such a fashion will suffice, blindly trusting others to respect that? Urinating on someone's lawn is a tactic that may suffice in some cases. But these times call for a strong leader who is unafraid to back that action up with a powerful bite.

Senator Whiskers was interviewed after the speech by noted journalist snowflake.

The interview became somewhat confrontational, with snowflake repeatedly asking Senator Whiskers to clarify some of his harshest criticisms, and the senator stating that he wished they still lived in the wild so that he could devour snowflake.

Glocksman · Post by **Glocksman** » 2004-09-03 02:54pm

Durandal wrote:She's a black woman, Glocksman. She doesn't stand a chance, sorry.

You misjudge the American people, my friend.

They're looking for a strong leader who is a uniter, not a divider. Macey literally represents unity in action. and so her black/white heritage will prove an advantage in this race.

Macey 2004: For Our Future™

Perinquus · Post by **Perinquus** » 2004-09-03 05:50pm

Glocksman wrote:
Durandal wrote:She's a black woman, Glocksman. She doesn't stand a chance, sorry.
You misjudge the American people, my friend.

They're looking for a strong leader who is a uniter, not a divider. Macey literally represents unity in action. and so her black/white heritage will prove an advantage in this race.

Macey 2004: For Our Future™

Looks like we have a third party spoiler. The question remains, though, from whom will she draw the most votes, Fuzzy, or Apache? And can she muster enough signatures to get on the ballot in most states?

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2004-09-03 06:24pm

1) What is Fuzzy's stance on the infamous Revlon-Graib prison scandal?

2)What is Fuzzy's plan on limiting the outsourcing of valuable US jobs to foreign nationals?

3) Candidate Fuzzy has yet to make his stance clear on limiting discrimination in regards to Same Sex marriage. What is it?