If Jesus was running against Bush

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2004-09-12 11:18am

Wow, that was amazingly well done. I gotta show my friends, they're a bit hardcore Christians and they'd love it...

Bugsby · Post by **Bugsby** » 2004-09-12 11:51am

"The Bashin' of the Christ?"

Inspired.

Mange · Post by **Mange** » 2004-09-12 11:58am

Nah, Jesus would be Bush's running mate

.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2004-09-12 12:02pm

Mange the Swede wrote:Nah, Jesus would be Bush's running mate .

I wouldn't think so, simply because Jesus hated the rich. He even said something along the lines of, "It is easier for a camel to step through a needle's eye than for a rich man to enter heaven."

Jesus was a damn pink-commie, no two ways about it.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-09-12 02:15pm

This is in the funny pic thread.

Still great, though.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-09-12 02:34pm

*smacks degan* i just posted that!

StarshipTitanic · Post by **StarshipTitanic** » 2004-09-12 05:35pm

Aww, I was going to scan that, too! Sometimes MAD does something perfectly, and that is one.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-09-12 07:32pm

Would Bush's campaign be helped out by the "Last Supper Disciples for Truth" as well?

"I talked to someone who witnessed him cure a leper, and you could tell that the leper was just faking it!"

CJvR · Post by **CJvR** » 2004-09-12 08:10pm

I can't stand longhaired socialist hippie peaceniks...

Ironicaly Bush, as a religous fellow, would probably vote against himself.

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2004-09-12 08:11pm

He would have to. Jesus for POTUS!!!

Mange · Post by **Mange** » 2004-09-13 03:52am

Xenophobe3691 wrote:
Mange the Swede wrote:Nah, Jesus would be Bush's running mate .
I wouldn't think so, simply because Jesus hated the rich. He even said something along the lines of, "It is easier for a camel to step through a needle's eye than for a rich man to enter heaven."

Jesus was a damn pink-commie, no two ways about it.

Well, that quote is based on a faulty translation from way back. The New Testament was originally written in Classic greek. When the New Testament was translated into Latin, some letters were transcribed wrongly. The original word in the New Testament can be pronounced Camelus, but because of the faulty transcription, the word originally didn't say camel, but hawser. Because of the fact that all translations of the Bible is derived from Latin in the Western world, that error has been persistent in the Bible in the west.

Sorry, for the off-topic post, but I felt a small clarification was needed.

PainRack · Post by **PainRack** » 2004-09-13 04:19am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Would Bush's campaign be helped out by the "Last Supper Disciples for Truth" as well?

"I talked to someone who witnessed him cure a leper, and you could tell that the leper was just faking it!"

This man was seen in the company of prositutes. PROSITUTES! For a person who advocates moral rightneous, is this not hyprocisim? Is this the man you want as a President?

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-09-13 12:19pm

And he died, and three days later, came back to life. Can't he be decisive?

Is this flip flopper the man you want for president?

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-09-13 12:20pm

Mange the Swede wrote:Well, that quote is based on a faulty translation from way back. The New Testament was originally written in Classic greek. When the New Testament was translated into Latin, some letters were transcribed wrongly. The original word in the New Testament can be pronounced Camelus, but because of the faulty transcription, the word originally didn't say camel, but hawser.

Isn't that a large rope? That isn't going to be able to thread a needle anyway.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2004-09-13 12:36pm

neoolong wrote:And he died, and three days later, came back to life. Can't he be decisive?

Is this flip flopper the man you want for president?

nothing wrong with a having a zombie as president.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2004-09-13 12:50pm

Mange the Swede wrote:Well, that quote is based on a faulty translation from way back. The New Testament was originally written in Classic greek. When the New Testament was translated into Latin, some letters were transcribed wrongly. The original word in the New Testament can be pronounced Camelus, but because of the faulty transcription, the word originally didn't say camel, but hawser. Because of the fact that all translations of the Bible is derived from Latin in the Western world, that error has been persistent in the Bible in the west.

Sorry, for the off-topic post, but I felt a small clarification was needed.

No problem, but the point of the whole statement still remains. Jesus didn't like the rich, and he even put it in writing. Not to mention crystallizing it down into a nice catchphrase. Thanks for the tip, though

Mange · Post by **Mange** » 2004-09-13 12:54pm

neoolong wrote:
Mange the Swede wrote:Well, that quote is based on a faulty translation from way back. The New Testament was originally written in Classic greek. When the New Testament was translated into Latin, some letters were transcribed wrongly. The original word in the New Testament can be pronounced Camelus, but because of the faulty transcription, the word originally didn't say camel, but hawser.
Isn't that a large rope? That isn't going to be able to thread a needle anyway.

Yes that's right, it's a thick rope.

I still believe that Jesus would have been Bush's running mate. "You believe in me, your sins are forgiven."
Love that picture though.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-09-13 01:02pm

12 Disciples for Truth

Narrator: If you have any questions about what Jesus Christ is made of, just spend 3 minutes with the men who served with him.

(On screen: Here's what those men think of Jesus Christ)

John: I served with Jesus Christ.

Simon Peter: I served with Jesus Christ.

Philip: Jesus Christ has not been honest about what happened in Israel.

John: He is lying about his record.

Mathew: I know Jesus Christ is lying about exorcising demons because the possessed were faking it.

Bartholomew: Jesus Christ lied to get the title of Messiah...I know, I was there, I saw what happened.

Thaddeus: His account of what happened and what actually happened are the difference between night and day.

James: Jesus Christ has not been honest.

Simon: And he lacks the capacity to lead.

Thomas: When the chips were down, you could not count on Jesus Christ.

Simon Peter: Jesus Christ is no messiah.

Andrew: He betrayed all his followers...he lied before the Jewish Council.

James, son of Alpheus: Jesus Christ betrayed the men and women who served him in Israel.

Thaddeus: He dishonored his faith...he most certainly did.

Judas Iscariot: I served with Jesus Christ...

Judas Iscariot (off camera): Jesus Christ cannot be trusted.

Narrator: Twelve Disciples for Truth is responsible for the content of this advertisement.

Talon Karrde · Post by **Talon Karrde** » 2004-09-14 12:39am

Xenophobe3691 wrote:Wow, that was amazingly well done. I gotta show my friends, they're a bit hardcore Christians and they'd love it...

Except for the fact that these quotations have nothing to do with the context presented.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-09-14 12:47am

neolong: Funny, but you forgot that Peter is supposed to deny Jesus three times.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-09-14 12:50am

Durandal wrote:neolong: Funny, but you forgot that Peter is supposed to deny Jesus three times.

Well, I wanted it to be as close to the original as possible. So I just changed the names, the actions, and the locations.

I did work in some irony with Judas saying you can't trust Jesus.

Twelve Disciples for Truth.

Ma Deuce · Post by **Ma Deuce** » 2004-09-14 12:53am

Talon Karrde wrote:Except for the fact that these quotations have nothing to do with the context presented.

Which is the whole fucking point

. It's making fun of how political campaigns smear their opponents by taking what they say or do out of context.

Ma Deuce · Post by **Ma Deuce** » 2004-09-14 12:55am

neoolong wrote:Twelve Disciples for Truth.

Isn't Judas Iscariot supposed to be uhh, dead?

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-09-14 01:06am

Ma Deuce wrote:
neoolong wrote:Twelve Disciples for Truth.
Isn't Judas Iscariot supposed to be uhh, dead?

He's a vampire. Haven't you seen Dracula 2000. And technically, they'd all be dead by now. And I already used him for the ad.

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If Jesus was running against Bush

If Jesus was running against Bush

I would vote Bush