i cheated and now i feal remorse...damn remorse

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-11-02 02:03am

punkgothhippie wrote:
Basicly look at it like this. Do you want to do the right thing? Or what ever it takes to cover up you fuck up?
i sorta wanna do a lil of both i just wanna make sure i'm still in this relationship when tomorow comes arounf and the next day and the next day and the next

Think about what could happen to your relationship if she someday finds out what happened and that you kept it a secret.

punkgothhippie · Post by **punkgothhippie** » 2002-11-02 02:08am

Think about what could happen to your relationship if she someday finds out what happened and that you kept it a secret.

you make a great point but i'm just wondering if i tell her now when she is still in the early stages of our relationship she is more apt to break up with me, but if me or the other girl tell her later sh will like me more ,love me more, and be all around prolly mroe forgiving and she might even be more understanding since she might perceive i couldn't tell ehr because of the weightedness of the thing i had done
i mean the overbearing fact is a screwed up so bad that no matter what i do the consequences will be large but what i am trying to get now is what will get me in the least trouble when where and how will i get myself in as lil trouble as possible i've thrown out morals as of now i just need some way to get my self in very little trouble

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-11-02 02:14am

punkgothhippie wrote:you make a great point but i'm just wondering if i tell her now when she is still in the early stages of our relationship she is more apt to break up with me, but if me or the other girl tell her later sh will like me more ,love me more, and be all around prolly mroe forgiving and she might even be more understanding since she might perceive i couldn't tell ehr because of the weightedness of the thing i had done
i mean the overbearing fact is a screwed up so bad that no matter what i do the consequences will be large but what i am trying to get now is what will get me in the least trouble when where and how will i get myself in as lil trouble as possible i've thrown out morals as of now i just need some way to get my self in very little trouble

Or maybe learning of it further into your relationship will only hurt her worse. Quit being so selfish and think of how this will affect her, not how it will affect you.

punkgothhippie · Post by **punkgothhippie** » 2002-11-02 02:17am

Or maybe learning of it further into your relationship will only hurt her worse. Quite being so selfish and think of how this will affect her, not how it will affect you.

of coarse your right i am being sort of selfish here in fact i'm being very selfish the only thing is i jsut want to preserv our relationship and i think that if i didn't tell her the one other person has vowed to keep it secret too so i am home free the only thing getting at me is my guilt i mean it is driving me so nuts i feal sick the only thing is i would feal worse if i lost her because i've liked her for close to a year and a half and i finally get her and now i might lose her after only part of a week that just isn't doing it for me i want a long and lasting relationship and i am almost sure letting her know now at least would ruin what we already have

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-11-02 02:25am

punkgothhippie wrote:
Or maybe learning of it further into your relationship will only hurt her worse. Quite being so selfish and think of how this will affect her, not how it will affect you.
of coarse your right i am being sort of selfish here in fact i'm being very selfish the only thing is i jsut want to preserv our relationship and i think that if i didn't tell her the one other person has vowed to keep it secret too so i am home free the only thing getting at me is my guilt i mean it is driving me so nuts i feal sick the only thing is i would feal worse if i lost her because i've liked her for close to a year and a half and i finally get her and now i might lose her after only part of a week that just isn't doing it for me i want a long and lasting relationship and i am almost sure letting her know now at least would ruin what we already have

Look. The thing is that you need to do the right thing. That means tell her. If you truly care about her, and care about how she feels, then you will know that telling her later and if she finds out from somebody else, it will hurt her a lot more.

You screwed up the relationship. But, people do make mistakes and you are young. If she takes you back, then it's good. But, not telling her to preserve the relationship is just wrong.

Honesty is the best policy here if you truly care about her. It's better for her to know that though you made a mistake, that you are able to be honest.

Be a man, no matter the consequences. You made a mistake and will have to live with the results. It may turn out well or not, but you owe it to both of you to at least give her the option of deciding how things will turn out.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-11-02 02:30am

What would hurt you more: Losing her now, or losing her after you've been in a relationship for a while?

Tell her what happened. Tell her that you care about her very much, that you are sick with regret, promise never to do it again, and mean all of it. Hopefully, if she really cares about you, she will forgive you. Then you must work to regain her trust, and heal any hurt you have caused her.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2002-11-02 02:31am

Look dude, I don't want to be mean but quit trying to scumball your way out of it. You did it, tell her and let her decide. If you don't tell her, all that means is you fucked up twice instead of only once.

punkgothhippie · Post by **punkgothhippie** » 2002-11-02 02:35am

Look dude, I don't want to be mean but quit trying to scumball your way out of it. You did it, tell her and let her decide. If you don't tell her, all that means is you fucked up twice instead of only once.

okay now that i have been convinced by the devine councle to do the right thing what should i do me being the shit had all i want to do is make things right so i tell her what hapened how i feal and how it won't happen in the future or what i'm just really not ready for this relationship to end my whole family is sorta in the midst of splitting up and i figure i just did it because it was a quik fix that amde me feal better she kissed me i mean i have never refused a kiss before but still there is no jsutifying it all i want to do now is make sure i come out of this with her still with me.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2002-11-02 02:44am

punkgothhippie wrote:
Look dude, I don't want to be mean but quit trying to scumball your way out of it. You did it, tell her and let her decide. If you don't tell her, all that means is you fucked up twice instead of only once.
okay now that i have been convinced by the devine councle to do the right thing what should i do me being the shit had all i want to do is make things right so i tell her what hapened how i feal and how it won't happen in the future or what i'm just really not ready for this relationship to end my whole family is sorta in the midst of splitting up and i figure i just did it because it was a quik fix that amde me feal better she kissed me i mean i have never refused a kiss before but still there is no jsutifying it all i want to do now is make sure i come out of this with her still with me.

Your trying to rationalize again. Just say that you fucked up and cheated on her and you need to tell her that and abide by what ever decision she makes. Take it like a Man.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-11-02 02:44am

punkgothhippie wrote:
Look dude, I don't want to be mean but quit trying to scumball your way out of it. You did it, tell her and let her decide. If you don't tell her, all that means is you fucked up twice instead of only once.
okay now that i have been convinced by the devine councle to do the right thing what should i do me being the shit had all i want to do is make things right so i tell her what hapened how i feal and how it won't happen in the future or what i'm just really not ready for this relationship to end my whole family is sorta in the midst of splitting up and i figure i just did it because it was a quik fix that amde me feal better she kissed me i mean i have never refused a kiss before but still there is no jsutifying it all i want to do now is make sure i come out of this with her still with me.

She probably doesn't want to know why you kissed the other girl. Tell her the truth. Tell her how you feel now and tell her why it won't happen again. Also, tell her how much you do care for her. If she asks why you kissed the girl, tell her the truth. Ultimately, ask her for a second chance, but don't press if she won't give it to you.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2002-11-02 10:02am

as far as i can read between all the "sortas", "you knows" and "likes" you didnt have sex or kiss or something like that with this other girl.
so there´s no problem. just think of it as hanging out with the other girl instead of dating her.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-11-02 10:12am

punkgothhippie wrote:hey everyone i'm sorta newb at this but ya i am in desperate need of advice i'm friends with jadeite so you've delt with some of his stuff and now i hope you'll help me with mine
so how it goes is i get this new girlfriend right
she is like i dunno super and stuff lol like perfect and all well i'm alllll good and stuff for about 4 whole days and i mean i have never ever ever cheated on a girl before this mind you so i'm really not that bad of a person but any way to the point today well rather tonight i sorta cheated on my girlfriend with sorta her best friend and well so i here this is a horribly bad thing and i don't know if i will be as lucky as my friend i mean i hear she can hold grudges with the best of them but ya i think she will either break upw tih me or not trust me ever again either way it is horrible so if anyone can help me on this i would so very much appreciate it

Be honest and tell the truth. Firstly, you've only been going out for four days and you're not attached (at least I hope not). She will find out sooner or later from her best friend as girls talk about anything. Admit it, move on, there should be pleanty of prospects for a young buck like yourself.

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2002-11-02 12:14pm

Gotta love guilt... its as bad as having a growling pincher looking rather evilly at your manhood... my most moral side of me says your fucked up the arse sideways with the shovel which you dug your own grave with, but using my horribly social voice then I'd say keep it a secret pending on how much you can trust her friend, if she will probably blab, then beat her to the punch... just my screwed up opinion

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-11-02 02:09pm

A few tips:

You're 15 years old. There are plenty of other girls. Losing this one isn't the end of your dating days.
Stop trying to weasel your way out of it. You fucked up, and she has a right to know. So, either you tell her, or I guarantee that she'll find out from someone else down the line. If you tell her now, at least you have a chance to tell your side of the story. If she forgives you, fine, then you lucked out. If she never wants to see you again, say, "OK, that's fair enough," and move on. The last thing the world needs is more teenage guys who think that they can nail their girlfriend's best friend and get off scott-free. You can't. Deal with it.
For god's sake, write in proper English. It doesn't take a whole lot of effort to capitalize your sentences, use punctuation or to spell whole words out. You can spare the extra few microjoules of energy required to type with proper grammar.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2002-11-02 02:17pm

I must say that I'm very pleased by your replies, guys. It makes me feel pretty good knowing that you all would speak truthfully rather than lying to someone you care about greatly.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-11-02 03:52pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:I must say that I'm very pleased by your replies, guys. It makes me feel pretty good knowing that you all would speak truthfully rather than lying to someone you care about greatly.

Most of probably speak truthfully because deep down we hope that it will get us some action! It is for this reason!

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-11-02 06:00pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:I must say that I'm very pleased by your replies, guys. It makes me feel pretty good knowing that you all would speak truthfully rather than lying to someone you care about greatly.

Noooo, my carefully crafted tough guy facade had been cracked.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-11-02 06:06pm

Look, you're in the perfect position here. You WANT to stay in the relationship with her, and this is a perfect opportunity to show her your honesty. Tell her what happened and why it happened, then tell her that you REALLY want to stay with her, instead, and that you'd like to be her boyfriend. You're only fifteen, so you have plenty of time ahead of you if worse comes to worse, but in my experience girls are impressed by people who are honest with them. For all you know she set this up with her best friend, anyway, to find out more about you, so it's best just to tell the truth, in this case.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-11-02 06:49pm

Well, at least you made out with a . I won't have that luxury.[/u]

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2002-11-02 07:13pm

With her best friend? Dude, she already knows, or will before the week is over.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-02 07:22pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Well, at least you made out with a . I won't have that luxury.[/u]

Why do you always leave spaces? Put some words in there goddammit!!!

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-11-02 07:58pm

verilon wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Well, at least you made out with a . I won't have that luxury.[/u]
Why do you always leave spaces? Put some words in there goddammit!!!

There seems to be something on his computer which censors his posts.

Curiously, this has been mentioned to him several times before, but I have never seen him respond to it....

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-02 07:59pm

XaLEv wrote:
verilon wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Well, at least you made out with a . I won't have that luxury.[/u]
Why do you always leave spaces? Put some words in there goddammit!!!
There seems to be something on his computer which censors his posts.

Curiously, this has been mentioned to him several times before, but I have never seen him respond to it....

In which case, it may not be his computer. At the very least put the first letter and some asterisks!

punkgothhippie · Post by **punkgothhippie** » 2002-11-02 09:48pm

Okey dokey guys...well i ended up telling her tonight, finally. Ummm...she basicly reacted horribly. She is heartbroken, and doesn't want to talk to me right now. She told me she doesn't know what to do. She told me she still loves me though. She told me she doesn't want to break up with me, but she isn't ure what to do. I now have to find some way to get her to trust me again if anyone can help me, i would appreciate it. How can i make sure that i keep her. I guess it turned out okay since i'm still with her i just want to know how to make her know for sure i love her and that she can trust me again...

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-11-02 10:03pm

punkgothhippie wrote:Okey dokey guys...well i ended up telling her tonight, finally. Ummm...she basicly reacted horribly. She is heartbroken, and doesn't want to talk to me right now. She told me she doesn't know what to do. She told me she still loves me though. She told me she doesn't want to break up with me, but she isn't ure what to do. I now have to find some way to get her to trust me again if anyone can help me, i would appreciate it. How can i make sure that i keep her. I guess it turned out okay since i'm still with her i just want to know how to make her know for sure i love her and that she can trust me again...

You can't do anything to make sure that you stay with her. Ultimately, it is her choice. Give her some time and hope she forgives you and gives you a second chance. If you stay together the only way to rebuild trust is to be honest with her. Just give it some time. Good luck.

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i cheated and now i feal remorse...damn remorse

Re: i cheated and now i feal remorse...damn remorse