Even as John Kerry struggles to establish national-security credentials nationally, an exclusive WW straw poll shows his campaign dominating one skeptical, warlike demographic: Klingons.
The poll, conducted when the DVD release of the Star Trek fan documentary Trekkies 2 attracted Portland's Klingon community to Tower Records on Southeast 102nd Avenue, may spell trouble for President George W. Bush.
The incumbent has staked his campaign on the war on terror. But those who speak the language of the Trek warrior race--known to disdain dishonor, or quvHa'ghach--seem alienated by Iraq and other issues.
According to the poll of eight local Klingons, a whopping 75 percent support the Democratic nominee.
Two Klingons polled--or 25 percent--said they planned to write in Satan.
Bush scored an abysmal zero percent in the poll.
"A good war is based on honor, not deception," says K'tok (Earth name: Clyde Lewis), a 40-year-old Klingon from Lair Hill. "The first warrior, President Bush, deceived us all with this war."
Portland Klingon speakers are increasingly influential. Last year, Multnomah County's mental-health services opened a search for a Klingon interpreter to work with speakers of the language.* Though the Klingons polled all appeared to be registered voters, they emulate an unfamiliar political system.
"On the home world, if there had been a contested election between Gore and Bush, the honorable thing would be for Gore to kill Bush," explained Khraanik (Earth name: Jason Lewis), a 38-year-old from Southeast Portland. "Or the other way around. And then ascend to the head of the High Council."
It's too early for Kerry to chill the ceremonial bloodwine, but Portland Klingons are clearly warming to the cerebral Massachusetts Democrat.
"Kerry has shown his prowess," says 33-year-old Neqha (Earth name: Eric King) of Tigard. "He saved his fellow warrior under the gun, and has been commended and awarded medals."
Neither the Bush nor Kerry campaigns were immediately available for comment on the poll results.
Sudden power is apt to be insolent, sudden liberty saucy; that behaves best which has grown gradually.
Too bad they're illegal aliens and cannot vote in US elections.
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."- General Sir Charles Napier
Glocksman wrote:Too bad they're illegal aliens and cannot vote in US elections.
They may have immigrated and have citizenship.
"Show me an angel and I will paint you one." - Gustav Courbet
"Quetzalcoatl, plumed serpent of the Aztecs... you are a pussy." - Stephen Colbert
"Really, I'm jealous of how much smarter than me he is. I'm not an expert on anything and he's an expert on things he knows nothing about." - Me, concerning a bullshitter
Glocksman wrote:Too bad they're illegal aliens and cannot vote in US elections.
They may have immigrated and have citizenship.
Which Starport did they use?
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."- General Sir Charles Napier
They had to have gotten in a while ago, or else they would not have been able to make it past security with Batt'leths.
WE, however, do meddle in the affairs of others.
What part of [ ,, N() ] don't you understand?
Skeptical Armada Cynic: ROU Aggressive Logic
SDN Ranger: Skeptical Ambassador EOD
Mr Golgotha, Ms Scheck, we're running low on skin. I suggest you harvest another lesbian!
SyntaxVorlon wrote:They had to have gotten in a while ago, or else they would not have been able to make it past security with Batt'leths.
Actually, I would think that the ability to make primitive weapons is an important skill for today's Honarable Warrior. They could just leave the Batt'leths at home and make some new ones when they got to earth.
Didn't. They washed up at Miami-Dade county after their spaceship made of spent oil barrels and rubber tired pooped out and crash landed.
"Show me an angel and I will paint you one." - Gustav Courbet
"Quetzalcoatl, plumed serpent of the Aztecs... you are a pussy." - Stephen Colbert
"Really, I'm jealous of how much smarter than me he is. I'm not an expert on anything and he's an expert on things he knows nothing about." - Me, concerning a bullshitter
Glocksman wrote:Too bad they're illegal aliens and cannot vote in US elections.
You speak the lies of a tah-keck! You are without honor, you toh-pah!
<Pulls out bath'leth>
Prepare for battle, you cowardly yintagh!
Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is being threatened by some sword wielding dude and he just pulls out a pistol and blasts the guy?
I call myself Glocksman for a reason.
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."- General Sir Charles Napier
Glocksman wrote:
Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is being threatened by some sword wielding dude and he just pulls out a pistol and blasts the guy?
I call myself Glocksman for a reason.
You are without honor, you p'tahk!
Seriously--now that Kerry has the Klingon vote all sewed up, he can kick back and relax, right?
Glocksman wrote:
Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is being threatened by some sword wielding dude and he just pulls out a pistol and blasts the guy?
I call myself Glocksman for a reason.
You are without honor, you p'tahk!
Seriously--now that Kerry has the Klingon vote all sewed up, he can kick back and relax, right?
True, and given his personality, I bet he can convince the Borg he's one of them.
Glocksman wrote:
Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is being threatened by some sword wielding dude and he just pulls out a pistol and blasts the guy?
I call myself Glocksman for a reason.
You are without honor, you p'tahk!
Seriously--now that Kerry has the Klingon vote all sewed up, he can kick back and relax, right?
True, and given his personality, I bet he can convince the Borg he's one of them.
Yeah, but how does that matter so much? Being a collective, they get one vote.
Glocksman wrote:Too bad they're illegal aliens and cannot vote in US elections.
You speak the lies of a tah-keck! You are without honor, you toh-pah!
<Pulls out bath'leth>
Prepare for battle, you cowardly yintagh!
Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is being threatened by some sword wielding dude and he just pulls out a pistol and blasts the guy?
I call myself Glocksman for a reason.
Originally it was suppused to be a complex sword fight, but Ford was suffering from dysentery after three months of filming in Tunisia and couldn't face the three additional days of filming. So he suggested that this much shorter version should be tried instead. Some sources attribute the idea to Steven Spielberg rather than to Ford.
Either way, it's one of the most memorable scenes in the film.
Glocksman wrote:Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is being threatened by some sword wielding dude and he just pulls out a pistol and blasts the guy?
I call myself Glocksman for a reason. :twisted:
Yes, but what does your desire to compensate for the abnormally small size of your genitalia have to do with Raiders of the Lost Ark?
"Stop! No one can survive these deadly rays!"
"These deadly rays will be your death!"
- Thor and Akton, Starcrash
"Before man reaches the moon your mail will be delivered within hours from New York to California, to England, to India or to Australia by guided missiles.... We stand on the threshold of rocket mail."
- Arthur Summerfield, US Postmaster General 1953 - 1961
Glocksman wrote:Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is being threatened by some sword wielding dude and he just pulls out a pistol and blasts the guy?
I call myself Glocksman for a reason.
Yes, but what does your desire to compensate for the abnormally small size of your genitalia have to do with Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Projecting your own insecurities, perhaps?
I understand your problem. Freud even mentions in his book "Introduction to Psychoanalysis" that a fear of weapons is a diagnostic sign indicating immature psychosocial and sexual development. That is, weapons phobic often have difficulty handling the emotions elicited by weapons due to psychosexual immaturity.
Perhaps counseling is in order?
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."- General Sir Charles Napier
'And in other news, the fake documents sent to CBS offices have now been traced to agents of the Tal Shiar attempting to subvert the election process. Law enforcement agencies are now mounting a nationwide manhunt for anyone with abnormally pointy ears.'
"And the sign said, 'Anybody caught tresspassing, will be shot on sight.' So I jumped over the fence and yelled at the house, 'Hey! What -'" BAM*BAM*BAM*BAM*BAM
Glocksman wrote:Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is being threatened by some sword wielding dude and he just pulls out a pistol and blasts the guy?
I call myself Glocksman for a reason.
Yes, but what does your desire to compensate for the abnormally small size of your genitalia have to do with Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Projecting your own insecurities, perhaps?
I understand your problem. Freud even mentions in his book "Introduction to Psychoanalysis" that a fear of weapons is a diagnostic sign indicating immature psychosocial and sexual development. That is, weapons phobic often have difficulty handling the emotions elicited by weapons due to psychosexual immaturity.
Perhaps counseling is in order?
Yeah well Freud's a stupid fucker.
WE, however, do meddle in the affairs of others.
What part of [ ,, N() ] don't you understand?
Skeptical Armada Cynic: ROU Aggressive Logic
SDN Ranger: Skeptical Ambassador EOD
Mr Golgotha, Ms Scheck, we're running low on skin. I suggest you harvest another lesbian!
SyntaxVorlon wrote:
Yeah well Freud's a stupid fucker.
Fucker? As in Fuck Her? Her being your mother? My, my.
Oh my, an oedipal complex.
Or an Electra complex if SV is female.
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."- General Sir Charles Napier
These Klingons can do that? My local sect doesn't allow politics.
I now await Romulans for Bush.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
,
, N(
