Kerry finally explains how he would fight the WoT

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-09-27 12:06pm

Kerry: I'll Kill Bin Laden with My Bare Hands

(2004-09-24) -- As part of his continued effort to portray himself as tougher on terrorism than President Bush, Democrat rival John Forbes Kerry said today, "When I'm President of the United States, I will kill Usama bin Laden with my own bare hands."

"George W. Bush let bin Laden escape from Tora Bora, because Bush never served in combat," said Mr. Kerry, a professional Vietnam veteran who is also a U.S. Senator. "When I'm president I will make it my personal priority to track down bin Laden and slay him with these mighty, sinewy hands."

Mr. Kerry said he would "hunt bin Laden like a migratory waterfowl--pursuing him on bicycle, windsurfing board, skis and even my family's SUV if necessary. Yes, I'm so serious about defending America from terror that I'm willing to sully the atmosphere for a time, if that's what it takes."

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-09-27 12:13pm

"George W. Bush let bin Laden escape from Tora Bora, because Bush never served in combat," said Mr. Kerry, a professional Vietnam veteran who is also a U.S. Senator. "When I'm president I will make it my personal priority to track down bin Laden and slay him with these mighty, sinewy hands."

for some reason this particular paragraph makes me want to sum up kerry's stance on osama with the following words: "KERRY SMASH PUNY TERRORIST! RAWR!"

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-09-27 12:27pm

That's actually pretty funny. I think he just went up a notch or two with me.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2004-09-27 01:07pm

Um... What. The. Fuck?

What the hell does he think he's doing?

Bush let Osama get away because he never fought in combat? What the hell does any of this mean? Where the fuck are his god-damned election advisors that are supposed to get him back on track?

CJvR · Post by **CJvR** » 2004-09-27 01:15pm

Kerry trying for Chewie instead of C3P-O?

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-09-27 01:15pm

"What is good, Kerry?"

"To drive your enemies before you, to hear the lamentations of their women..."

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-09-27 01:19pm

It's satire, people.

I'm sorry for not indicating that, but I thought it was kind of obvious.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-09-27 01:28pm

Joe wrote:It's satire, people.

I'm sorry for not indicating that, but I thought it was kind of obvious.

I think this speaks volumes for American politics when satire is critiqued so.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-09-27 01:40pm

Christ, people... this satire was blatently obvious.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2004-09-27 02:15pm

Master of Ossus wrote:Um... What. The. Fuck?

What the hell does he think he's doing?

Bush let Osama get away because he never fought in combat? What the hell does any of this mean? Where the fuck are his god-damned election advisors that are supposed to get him back on track?

Time to revise my estimate of your intelligence, I see...

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2004-09-27 02:43pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Joe wrote:It's satire, people.

I'm sorry for not indicating that, but I thought it was kind of obvious.
I think this speaks volumes for American politics when satire is critiqued so.

The problem is Kerry's dumb enough that you have to wonder at times. Bush too for that matter.