Collected from the Net: A day in the life of Joe Republican

[Iceberg]

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

[Gil Hamilton]

This can be summed up in a quote of my own making.

"Young Republicans are so conservative and idealistic until it comes time to pay for college. Then they either get money from their parents or get money from the state. Usually both."

[Uther]

Didn't know Republicans were libertarians.

[Rogue 9]

Didn't know Republicans were libertarians.

They aren't.

[Uther]

Didn't know Republicans were libertarians.

They aren't.

Oh...because the original post...

Nevermind.

[Rogue 9]

Didn't know Republicans were libertarians.

They aren't.

Oh...because the original post...

Nevermind.

No shit. I know about the original post. I was agreeing with you.

[Lord of the Farce]

A day in the life of Joe Republican

That was on Michael Moore's website! I don't listen to no Leftist-Loony! [/not-so-anonymous]

Seriously, I'd be interested in whether any Republican can think up of a reversal of this. It'll be an interesting read to see it from an opposing perspective.

[Wicked Pilot]

Seriously, I'd be interested in whether any Republican can think up of a reversal of this. It'll be an interesting read to see it from an opposing perspective.

I'm sure the end of slavery would be a good one, but unfortunately the Republicans of that era aren't the ones of today.

And the whole meat and drug standards I'm sure came from the Roosevelt administration, though it was still a liberal idea.

[Rogue 9]

Seriously, I'd be interested in whether any Republican can think up of a reversal of this. It'll be an interesting read to see it from an opposing perspective.

I'm sure the end of slavery would be a good one, but unfortunately the Republicans of that era aren't the ones of today.

And the whole meat and drug standards I'm sure came from the Roosevelt administration, though it was still a liberal idea.

Let's try civil rights and the Dixiecrats.

[fgalkin]

Seriously, I'd be interested in whether any Republican can think up of a reversal of this. It'll be an interesting read to see it from an opposing perspective.

I'm sure the end of slavery would be a good one, but unfortunately the Republicans of that era aren't the ones of today.

And the whole meat and drug standards I'm sure came from the Roosevelt administration, though it was still a liberal idea.

Let's try civil rights and the Dixiecrats.

it seems that you're confusing "Democrat" and "liberal". Those two weren't always synonimous, you know.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[Stormbringer]

I'm sure the end of slavery would be a good one, but unfortunately the Republicans of that era aren't the ones of today.

And the whole meat and drug standards I'm sure came from the Roosevelt administration, though it was still a liberal idea.

Let's try civil rights and the Dixiecrats.

it seems that you're confusing "Democrat" and "liberal". Those two weren't always synonimous, you know.

And this confuses with ultra-libertarian with Republican.

[fgalkin]

True.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[Talon Karrde]

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

Republicans are not against clean water, which is obvious, they are not for radicals who put all environmental issues above personal freedoms.

With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

And this blatant straw man tumbles down because you obviously know no conservative would demand that safety not be a priority when it comes to medication.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

Again, you try to exagerrate Republican views on unions. The problem arrises when the unions demands far outweigh the owners of the company.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

And again I suppose if you'd ask a Republican he'd say, "Damn those safe meat laws."

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Look above...

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

What Republicans fight is the over zealousy of these environmentalists who believe every product of waste from machinery is going to bring an end to safe breathing air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

And I'd love to see where a Republican has said he wants no public roads...

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

See above union statement.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

And again this statement may have been relevant prior to the Depression era, but somehow I highly doubt Republicans wish to strike Worman's Comp.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Wow, wouldn't you know it, another argument that was relevant 80 years ago.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Name one Republican member in either the House or Senate that believes state funded universities are bad. Name one who speaks against federal student loans. This whole argument is pulling at strings that don't exist, or existed in a time 80 years in the past.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

I'm getting sick of saying the same thing over and over again. Name me one Republican who thinks car safety standards are bad. If your argument is to point out that liberals made these things possible, you may be right. But what exactly does that have to do with modern politics considering we already have these safe havens?

I'm tired, and need to get to bed for class in the morning, but look... this entire argument is based on changes that occurred almost 80 to 90 years ago, and it's trying to apply it to modern day politics, which is ridiculous. This is one of the primary reasons the political shift occured in this country.

[tharkûn]

The modern welfare state began under the auspices of noted liberal Otto von Bismark, pardon me if I hold my applause. American health insurance was introduced as a way around WWII wages controls, and was used by the management side of the table. Government subsidized roads date back into the 1800's and the modern highway system was built by hawks for the US military.

Most of this stuff, like testing of medicines, dates back to the 1800's when all the politicians were conservatives as the term is defined today. Likewise most all of these "benifits" suffer from the happy median syndrome. Clean water is a good thing, lowering minimum standards for marginal benifit weighted against heavy cost is a bad thing. Likewise public financing of education can be a good thing (and was proposed by Adam Smith), however one can easily go to far with full grants for the unqalified and hemorrage red ink for minimal value.

Besides which people like Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon or Dwight Eisenhower are hardly the darlings of liberalism. Roosevelt had a downright imperial foreign policy and Nixon created the EPA but how many liberals count him as one of their own? The truth is many of these things were advanced by figures who today's liberals would recoil against. If the world's favorite Bull Mouse tried to intervene in Latin America today using the pretenses he did back then the liberal doves would call him a dyed in the wool neocon.

[Alex Moon]

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Public transportation is a joke. Outside of about six or so cities it is incredibly wasteful. In those where it works, the primary reason is that they grew up around public transportation before the mass production of automobiles. Mass transportation is also more inconvinient for most people (try hauling grocieries on the bus then walking a half mile back home at the end of a long day at work) Truth be told, if Joe takes mass transportation to work every day, then he probably ain't a republican.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

This ignores the fact that there are perfectly valid economics and conservative reasons for these types of loans. It also ignores the fact that Fannie Mae is an even bigger waste of money than public transportation.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

Joe's family probably hasn't turned a profit on the farm in years, if not decades. They get subsidies from the government while Joe and his brothers left years ago to find work in jobs that actually make money. When Dad dies, the house and farm will have to be sold to pay the taxes, because some liberal opposed efforts to stop the government from robbing grieving families and crippling the ability for Joe to pass on his business to his children.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Except that Joe is still paying to support his father, because the money Joe pays in Social Security goes to keep the current generation of retirees in comfort. By the time Joe is his father's age, the imbalance in the number of retirees vs. workers means that Joe's children will be paying through the nose to support him. Especially since Joe is currently saving almost nothing, meaning that he's going to be almost entirely dependent on the government in the last few decades of his life. If those cheese-eating liberals had actually cared about helping Joe's father, they would have spent all that social security money on classes educating people about proper investments and the virtues of saving early.

[Beowulf]

Good roads are important to the military. Ask the Romans about that. Oh, and why the hell do you think that every Interstate has roughly 1 in 5 miles being straight? It's so they can serve as emergency runways. The US Interstate system was pushed by the military for military purposes. It just happens to be available to civilians, and is highly useful in that regard.

[Rogue 9]

Let's try civil rights and the Dixiecrats.

it seems that you're confusing "Democrat" and "liberal". Those two weren't always synonimous, you know.

And this confuses with ultra-libertarian with Republican.

Yes, this was kind of my point.

Congratulations on getting the point, fgalkin, though I'm not so impressed with your ability to discern whether or not it was intentionally made.

[1123581321]

Good roads are important to the military. Ask the Romans about that. Oh, and why the hell do you think that every Interstate has roughly 1 in 5 miles being straight? It's so they can serve as emergency runways. The US Interstate system was pushed by the military for military purposes. It just happens to be available to civilians, and is highly useful in that regard.

wrong.

snopes.com

Claim: The
American interstate highway system was designed to be used for emergency airstrips in case of war.

Status: False.

Origins: Numerous folks swear Interstate highways in the United States must be designed so that one mile in every five is perfectly straight and flat. According to this whispered bit of facetious lore, if the U.S. ever comes under attack, those straight, flat stretches will be used as landing strips.

Richard Weingroff, information liaison specialist for the Federal Highway Administration's Office of Infrastructure and the FHA's unofficial historian, says the closest any of this came to touching base with reality was in 1944, when Congress briefly considered the possibility of including funding for emergency landing strips in the Federal Highway-Aid Act (the law that authorized designation of a "National System of Interstate Highways"). At no point was the idea kited of using highways or other roads to land planes on; the proposed landing strips would have been built alongside major highways, with the highways serving to handle ground transportation access to and from these strips. The proposal was quickly dropped, and no more was ever heard of it. (A few countries do use some of their roads as military air strips, however.)

Some references to the one-mile-in-five assertion claim it's part of the Federal-Aid Highway Act of 1956. This piece of legislation committed the federal government to build what became the 42,800-mile Eisenhower Interstate Highway System, which makes it the logical item to cite concerning regulations about how the interstate highway system was to be laid out. The act did not, however, contain any "one-in-five" requirement, nor did it even suggest the use of stretches of the interstate system as emergency landing strips. The one-out-of-five rule was not part of any later legislation either.

[Iceberg]

Joe's family probably hasn't turned a profit on the farm in years, if not decades. They get subsidies from the government while Joe and his brothers left years ago to find work in jobs that actually make money. When Dad dies, the house and farm will have to be sold to pay the taxes, because some liberal opposed efforts to stop the government from robbing grieving families and crippling the ability for Joe to pass on his business to his children.

If Joe's father was smart at all, he will have passed on the farm to his heir years before he kicked the bucket. In 1986 when my maternal grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, the first thing he did was sell the farm to my oldest uncle for a dollar. By the time he died in March of 1987, the legal title to the farm and its assets was in the possession of his son. The idea that so many conservatives promulgate of the evil rapacious feds stealing family farms is a big steaming cup of pure, warm bullshit, because farm families get a ton of exemptions to the inheritance tax if they are at ALL smart and if they have any heirs willing to take on the farming business (the latter is the real touchy proposition; rural areas are emptying out at an incredible rate for the economic and social opportunity of suburbia). Additionally, the "family farm" these days is usually a partially or wholly owned subsidiary of a larger agricultural corporation, from which the family leases the land (for pennies an acre) and not subject to inheritance tax, either.

When the government takes a farm in payment of inheritance tax, it is almost always because there is no heir left who is interested in farming. NOT because of some imagined rapacious liberal. Fuckwit.

[Gil Hamilton]

I think the people who are complaining about the specifics of this are missing the point. The point is that while there are tons of people who expound the idea that people should always pay their own way and never get any hand outs or deals from the government very often don't live by this standard very strictly themselves. Case in point, I think of not one but two times I've sat in line talking to a person who was going on about how taxpayer money shouldn't be handed out to people who may need it because it's "theft" while they were sitting in line with their FASFA and PELL grant applications. In order words, people who don't like to live by the standards they want to legislate into law.

This is by no means a conservative thing. Everyone does it, be they left right or center. However, the commentary is that political idealism can be completely hypocritical.

[Wicked Pilot]

Just to elaborate on the whole interstate=good runway idea, the wheel bases of even the smallest of military aircraft are bigger than you probably think. For example, my plane has over 17 feet between the mains, and it's pretty small. Most of the interstate around here is four lane with small sholders on the right with a huge median in the center, surrounded by ditches. That gives maybe 25 feet of width. If a crosswind blows you right or left by more than 4 feet, your main will go into the grass and the plane will cartwheel, and you will die. Roads make good emergency put downs for the bug smashers, but for anything larger than a small twin, you're asking for trouble.

[Wicked Pilot]

And about the OT, before we start getting into a conservative bashing exercise, let's remember that liberals put out a lot of bad ideas along with the good ones. True, without liberals we would never advance as a society, but we need conservatives to help filter out the garbage. Think of politics like science, you need those wild eyed visionaries to put forth new theories, but a healthy dose of skepticism to weed out the bullshit.

[Col. Crackpot]

And about the OT, before we start getting into a conservative bashing exercise, let's remember that liberals put out a lot of bad ideas along with the good ones. True, without liberals we would never advance as a society, but we need conservatives to help filter out the garbage. Think of politics like science, you need those wild eyed visionaries to put forth new theories, but a healthy dose of skepticism to weed out the bullshit.

DING! DING! DING! DING!

You beat me to the punch. How does that old saying go? 'The eagle needs two wings to fly' or somesuch....

[Xenophobe3691]

Joe's family probably hasn't turned a profit on the farm in years, if not decades. They get subsidies from the government while Joe and his brothers left years ago to find work in jobs that actually make money. When Dad dies, the house and farm will have to be sold to pay the taxes, because some liberal opposed efforts to stop the government from robbing grieving families and crippling the ability for Joe to pass on his business to his children.

I don't know what you're talking about. The Estate Tax law won't take their land away, simply because it isn't included in the Law. I've yet to see one example of someone getting their farm taken away because of it.

[Alyrium Denryle]

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

Joe wouldnt have his medications if some Panzy ass liberal had his way. Because animal testing would be outlawed and biomedical reseach would become impossible.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

Joe wouldnt be allowed to eat bacon if some granola eating vegan had his way. He would be arrrested for murder and violation of thej rights of animals.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joes Shampoo is horribly expensive because A) It is imported and has to have tariffs paid on it due to protectionist policies put in place by some liberal or B) Joes shampoo is horribly expensive bcause it is made in america where companies cannot pay their workers the market price of labor de to some liberal union which continually increases labor costs.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

Or alternativly, the air Joe breathes is not as clean as it could be, becaue some panzy ass liberal has lobbyed to stop the construction of nuclear plants which woud reduce dependance on oil and reduce emissions of pollutants.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

He walks down the government provided sidewalk and catches his subsidixed ride to work, which arrives 15 minutes late and the passengers are packed like Jews in a cattle car, because the company that runs the buses doesnt have to worry about that silly little thing called competition.

The road is undergoing work that doesnt need to be done, which further delays the bus and causes him to be half an hour late to work.(I ride the city bus to uni every day... and yes, it is this bad)

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

Joe looses his job, not because he was late, but because the recent union strike and resulting hikes in pay and benifits, well above the market price for his labor, have forced the company to lay off workers in order to turn a profit and stay in business.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

See above

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

And from bank robbers... and from ecnomic collapse due to investing on borrowed money among other things... but lets attack bankers instead of actually addressing the economic issues pre-depression...

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

The car exceeds these safety standards because some greedy corporate pig thought he could sell more cars by making safer cars.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Then Joe realizes that both ends of the spectrum are necessary in order for the system to function properly, and that some issues(like safety standards) are a good idea, nherently, to protect human life. But also that businesses will often exceed these standards if forced compete with one another. ANd that perhaps, both sides compliment the other.