The yo momma joke thread

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

Post Reply
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

The yo momma joke thread

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Anyone know those?
Like,

"Yo momma's so dumb she took a test and failed!", or "Yo momma's so fat her butt's been declared a hazardous waste site!"

Anyone got others?
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
User avatar
haas mark
Official SD.Net Insomniac
Posts: 16533
Joined: 2002-09-11 04:29pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Contact:

Post by haas mark »

*sigh* Why even BOTHER!?
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net

Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]

Formerly verilon

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005


Image
User avatar
Vympel
Spetsnaz
Spetsnaz
Posts: 29312
Joined: 2002-07-19 01:08am
Location: Sydney Australia

Post by Vympel »

Yo momma so fat, she got her own gravity well!
Like Legend of Galactic Heroes? Please contribute to http://gineipaedia.com/
User avatar
Solid Snake
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1540
Joined: 2002-07-16 07:46pm
Location: 30 miles from my armory

Post by Solid Snake »

Stop raising dead threads, please..
US Army Infantry: Follow Me!

Heavy Armor Brigade
User avatar
SAMAS
Mecha Fanboy
Posts: 4078
Joined: 2002-10-20 09:10pm

Post by SAMAS »

Yo Mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family!

Yo Mama so dark, she got a part-time job as Midnight!

Yo Mama so old, she owes Jesus Money!

Yo Mama so skinny, her nipples touch!
Image
Not an armored Jigglypuff

"I salute your genetic superiority, now Get off my planet!!" -- Adam Stiener, 1st Somerset Strikers
weemadando
SMAKIBBFB
Posts: 19195
Joined: 2002-07-28 12:30pm
Contact:

Post by weemadando »

Yo momma so poor that everytime I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush.
User avatar
Stravo
Official SD.Net Teller of Tales
Posts: 12806
Joined: 2002-07-08 12:06pm
Location: NYC

Post by Stravo »

Yo mama's so black they mark her absent in Night School.

Yo mama's like a hardware store - 10Cents a screw.

Yo mama is like a door knob - everybody gets a turn.
Wherever you go, there you are.

Ripped Shirt Monkey - BOTMWriter's Guild Cybertron's Finest Justice League
This updated sig brought to you by JME2
Image
User avatar
Kuja
The Dark Messenger
Posts: 19322
Joined: 2002-07-11 12:05am
Location: AZ

Post by Kuja »

Yo momma is so poor, her front and back doors are on the same hinge.

Yo momma's so fat, when she got lost, they put her face on a milk truck.

Yo momma's so fat, when she wore yellow, some guy ran up and yelled "TAXI!"
Image
JADAFETWA
User avatar
jegs2
Imperial Spook
Posts: 4782
Joined: 2002-08-22 06:23pm
Location: Alabama

Post by jegs2 »

Yo momma's so fat it takes two people to talk about her

Yo momma's so dumb it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
John 3:16-18
Warwolves G2
The University of North Alabama Lions!
User avatar
Shinova
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10193
Joined: 2002-10-03 08:53pm
Location: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Post by Shinova »

Yo momma's so fat that when she sat on a counter it said, "to be continued"
What's her bust size!?

It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!
User avatar
SAMAS
Mecha Fanboy
Posts: 4078
Joined: 2002-10-20 09:10pm

Post by SAMAS »

That's supposed to be a scale.

You Mama's like a shotgun. One cock, and she's ready to blow!

You Mama so strong, she can gargle peanut butter!

You Mama breath so bad, when she yawns her teeth duck!

You Mama so cross-eyed, if whe wants to blow her boyfriend, she has to aim for the dick next to his!

You Mama so Ugly, the Invisible Man doesn't want to bee seen with her!

You Mama smell so bad, she makes Right Guard turn left!
Image
Not an armored Jigglypuff

"I salute your genetic superiority, now Get off my planet!!" -- Adam Stiener, 1st Somerset Strikers
User avatar
jodathalas
Padawan Learner
Posts: 348
Joined: 2002-11-01 06:08pm
Location: IN DA HIZZY!
Contact:

Post by jodathalas »

Yo mama so fat when she cuts herself she bleeds gravy. :D
Be at peace with yourself. Enjoy life.
User avatar
irishmick79
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 2272
Joined: 2002-07-16 05:07pm
Location: Wisconsin

Post by irishmick79 »

yo mama so fat she's got three little women orbiting around her.
"A country without a Czar is like a village without an idiot."
- Old Russian Saying
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Those are good ones. :lol:

Yo momma's so dumb, for her Lenten sacrifice, she burnt the family cat!

Yo momma's so fat and stupid that one day, she opes to be as thin and intellegent as Anna Nicole Smith!

Yo momma's so ugly the mirror runs away whenever she looks into it.

Yo momma's so smelly that she even chases the germs out of the house!

Yo momma's so poor, she had to sell the TV her house came in!

Yo momma's so bald, that the last time she wore a turtleneck, it looked like a broken !

Yo momma's so fat, when her first husband died in a donut truck crash, she held a funeral service, bou for the donuts!

Yo momma's so fat she got a job in "Raiders of the Lost Ark", as the boulder!

Yo momma's so dumb, she got lost while falling off the bed!

Yo momma's do fat, last time she did a cannonball, she started Hurricane Andrew!

Yo momma's like an old can of pop: Old, flat, and smelling funny!

Yo momma's so old and fat, when God said "Let ther be light", she told her to get out of the way!
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
User avatar
SAMAS
Mecha Fanboy
Posts: 4078
Joined: 2002-10-20 09:10pm

Post by SAMAS »

Yo Mama so fat, I told her to haul ass, and it took her two trips!

You Mama so fat, she went to the beach and the tide came in!

Yo Mama so dumb, she joined StarFleet! (Okay, that was wrong!)
Image
Not an armored Jigglypuff

"I salute your genetic superiority, now Get off my planet!!" -- Adam Stiener, 1st Somerset Strikers
Sienthal
Padawan Learner
Posts: 422
Joined: 2002-07-11 05:24am
Location: Springfield, Oregon
Contact:

Here's a few

Post by Sienthal »

Yo momma so old, she went for a walk and the antique store tried to buy her!
Yo momma so ugly that *BLUEEEUGGGHHAARGHHH*
Yo momma so loose that when she opens her legs, the door slams shut!
Yo momma so loose that whenever she gets laid, the carpet gets cleaned!
Welcome to the Divine Empire of Ashcroft:
-Hey, you! Sending e-mail, eh?Say Cheese!
-What I say here is forever being recorded. Wonderful, isn't it?
-Jack Chick develops the most disturbing Chick tract to date. It may be viewed here: MIGHTY MORPHIN' SATAN RANGERS! GO!
User avatar
Shinova
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10193
Joined: 2002-10-03 08:53pm
Location: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Post by Shinova »

yo momma's so fat, that when she goes to work she don't need to walk or drive.
What's her bust size!?

It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!
Next of Kin
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 2230
Joined: 2002-07-20 06:49pm
Location: too close to home

Post by Next of Kin »

Yo Mama's So Fat....when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease
the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Yo momma's so fat that when she sits down, at least one person dies!

Yo momma's so fat, they use her for a hammock!



And, the nice yo momma joke!

Yo momma's so fat, dumb, and hairy that the only difference beteen her and a 5-ton ape is that the ape doesnt' have children as good as you!
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
User avatar
SAMAS
Mecha Fanboy
Posts: 4078
Joined: 2002-10-20 09:10pm

Post by SAMAS »

Now that's messed up...

Yo Mama so loose, she gives head because she's thirsty!

Yo Mama so short, she needs a ladder to get down with her bad self!

Yo Mama got a wooden leg, talkin' about "hop up on the good foot!"

Yo Mama so Fat, I had to roll over twice to get off her ass!

Yo Mama so White, she bleeds milk!

You Mama so Dumb, she sat on a loaf of bread and thought she got a yeast infection!

You Mama teeth so yellow, she spits butter!

And to top it off, Ya Mama by The Pharcyde:
Verse One: Booty Brown

Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs
The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?)
She got a burning yearning and there's no turning back
Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk
Spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talk

Refrain:

Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that:

Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Verse Two: Slim Kid Tre

Ya mama look like she's been in the dryer with some rocks
With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks
Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot
She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop
Ya mama root'n'toot and stole my loot and my suit
She may have the muscles, but no, she's not cute
She's not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty
Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies

Refrain:

On a cliff butt naked, tootin on a flute
Ridin on a horse drinkin whisky out a boot
She's got the teeth and the wings of an African bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Verse Three: Fat Lip

Watch out, I'm thinkin about your mother to a funky beat
I went to your house, and she licked me on the cheek
I said excuse me lady, but I remember seeing you at the Palladium
way back in September
Cause you was beatboxin for Lou Rawls
In some bright red boxer drawers
You said ya moms was pretty and young
But she's old as dirt and got hair on her tongue

Refrain:

Ya moms, ya moms, she uses Brut
And I saw her ridin a horsey drinking whisky out a boot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone, and on top of all that

Ya mama's got a peg leg with a kickstand (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Verse Four: Imani

Awwwwwwww, ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
We rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's
and her skates went flat; I got stuck in her butt crack
They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap
Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way
Cause that would blow me round the world in a day
We drove into the drive-in and she didn't have to pay
because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet

Refrain:

Naked on a mountain top tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse, drinkin whisky out a bizoot
With the wings and the teeth of an african bat, ba-aa-aa-at
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama's got an afro, with a chin strap (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama
Image
Not an armored Jigglypuff

"I salute your genetic superiority, now Get off my planet!!" -- Adam Stiener, 1st Somerset Strikers
Post Reply