Irrelevant Pop Stars Unite Against Bush

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-10-07 05:21pm

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4040

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to motivate Americans to go to the polls on Nov. 2, a coalition of irrelevant pop stars is winding up a 36-city tour that will culminate in a concert on Oct. 11 in Washington, D.C.

"The Vote For Change tour has been put together by a wide cross-section of artists with one purpose: to remove Bush from office," said Stone Gossard, whose band Pearl Jam enjoyed popularity during the grunge phase of the early to mid-'90s. "Not everyone here is pro-Kerry, but everyone here agrees that Bush has to go. Just rocking the vote isn't enough. You've gotta rock for change."

Pearl Jam will share the stage with such onetime chart-toppers as Jackson Browne, John Fogerty, and Crosby, Stills & Nash.

"I can't let this election take place without knowing I fought as hard as I could for a more compassionate leader," 51-year-old John Mellencamp said. "If playing my 1986 hit 'R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A.' at the Hancher Auditorium in Iowa City will dissuade people from voting for Bush, then I'm going to do it."

The Vote For Change bill contains a wide range of artists whose actual relationship with American politics remains unclear. Rock group R.E.M., blues artist Bonnie Raitt, and the country group Dixie Chicks will join R&B artists such as Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds, co-founder of LaFace Records, which released the Bodyguard soundtrack.

"I couldn't ignore all the bad that's going on," said Edmonds, who co-wrote Bobby Brown's 1992 single "Humpin' Around." "I had to do my part to stop all the... bad things."

Rounding out the bill are such lesser-known indie artists as 24-year-old singer-songwriter Conor Oberst (a.k.a. Bright Eyes), and Seattle-based rock band Death Cab For Cutie.

"Bush is fucking evil," said Nick Harmer, bassist for Death Cab For Cutie. "The economy is for shit, and we're stuck in this unjust war that he lied about to get us to agree to. Me and the other guys in the band wanted to do something real to get him out of office. We were like, 'We gotta do a concert.'"

David Corn, Washington, D.C. editor of The Nation, said he appreciated the musicians' efforts.

"It's really great to get more young people involved in politics, and if Keb Mo singing 'This Land Is Your Land' helps, so be it," Corn said. "Of course, in addition to watching MTV to find out what Moby has to say about Bush, you could watch C-SPAN, or even visit the candidates' web sites. You're probably not going to learn a lot about the candidates' positions on Social Security reform by listening to Dave Matthews gas on while his bassist tunes up."

After being informed of the existence of the Vote For Change tour, Bush campaign manager Ken Mehlman called it "a cute idea."

"It's wonderful that these singers are getting involved," Mehlman said. "While I respectfully disagree with Tracy Chapman and Sheryl Crow's opinion of our president, I think it's great that they're doing something with their time."

Concert organizers said the show, with its extraordinary lineup of soft-rock artists, is getting a boost in ticket sales from an unexpected demographic. John Linner of Orlando, FL is one of the tens of thousands of registered Republicans planning to attend a Vote For Change concert.

"It's going to be kind of annoying, with all the liberal bullshit between sets, but I can't imagine missing this kind of line-up," Linner said. "R.E.M. is a little weird, except for that one song, 'Shiny Happy People.' But how many times do you get a chance to see a tour that has Springsteen and John Fogerty?"

Similar in spirit to Vote For Change, Rock Against Bush is a concert tour created by NOFX vocalist and bassist Fat Mike to mobilize voters against the president.

"We're psyched to have Strike Anywhere, Anti-Flag, and Bouncing Souls on board," Fat Mike said, naming acts a few people might recognize as punk bands. "We're especially hoping we pull in some audience members who are older than 17, so they can vote."

Rock Against Bush publicist Donna Wolff said campaign-related concerts are "an important way for musicians to express their political views."

"Contrary to what many people think, rock artists want to be involved," Wolff said. "While some of the musicians billed on our tour can't even name the U.S Secretary of Health and Human Services, or list more than two Bush policies they oppose, they all know the difference between right and wrong."

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-10-07 05:23pm

It's so easy to make fun of musicians and actors with political agendas. Too bad Bush's most ardent supporters (fanatically religious rednecks) don't have the necessary connections to put on their own media events that we can make fun of. Oh wait a minute, there's FOX News. Never mind.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-10-07 05:26pm

FOX News isn't biased. The BBC and CNN are because they... you know. Oh look! A cloud!

(I swear that's how most Faux News advocates counter mockery of their channel. Some just don't seem to think "fair and balanced" means much today.)

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-10-07 05:45pm

I just thought this would tickle peoples fancies. It's kind of funny.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2004-10-07 06:54pm

In other news, lots of B rate celeberties doing silly stuff for any sort of publicity while in the back nine of their careers.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-10-07 07:52pm

I really dislike John Mellencamp. Something about that guy just rubs me the wrong way.

Marksist · Post by **Marksist** » 2004-10-07 08:04pm

In other news, lots of B rate celeberties doing silly stuff for any sort of publicity while in the back nine of their careers

GASP! B rate celebrities... back nine of their careers?! Surely you jest. Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds will be there. And, the "Cougar," and Crosby, Stilles & Nash. Even little Nick Harmer, the bassist for Death Cab For Cutie will be there.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-10-07 08:40pm

Knife wrote:In other news, lots of B rate celeberties doing silly stuff for any sort of publicity while in the back nine of their careers.

Ummm, you do realize that it's not a real news article, right? It's from The Onion.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2004-10-07 09:29pm

Darth Wong wrote:
Knife wrote:In other news, lots of B rate celeberties doing silly stuff for any sort of publicity while in the back nine of their careers.
Ummm, you do realize that it's not a real news article, right? It's from The Onion.

I hate to tell you this, but in this case they're reporting on a real event.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2004-10-07 10:57pm

Darth Wong wrote:
Knife wrote:In other news, lots of B rate celeberties doing silly stuff for any sort of publicity while in the back nine of their careers.
Ummm, you do realize that it's not a real news article, right? It's from The Onion.

Even if it was a jest, its not exactly like this sort of thing don't happen. I'm never sure if its more for the publicity or arrogance of the celeb to get on TV or public format to make sure that the masses know their politics.

They have the right to their opinion, but the extremes they go through to do so, are silly.

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2004-10-07 11:22pm

Darth Wong wrote:
Knife wrote:In other news, lots of B rate celeberties doing silly stuff for any sort of publicity while in the back nine of their careers.
Ummm, you do realize that it's not a real news article, right? It's from The Onion.

Real event, fake quotes.

Bugsby · Post by **Bugsby** » 2004-10-07 11:53pm

I saw the Dixie Chicks on Bill Maher talking about this. They seemed to think it was really important that they hold this concert. They said it was an exercise of free speech. B list celebrities can say whatever they want, just like everyone else!

While this is technically true, it avoids the real issue here, which is that because of their (dubious) prowess in music, these minor celebs now feel that their political opinions are worth hearing, when this is obviously not the case. I don't care if you were number one on the country charts five years ago, that doesn't make you an expert with an opinion any more worthwhile than that of the average man on the street! While all this is pretty self-apparent, what pisses me off is that these celebrities don't seem to realize it. They figure that if everyone listens to them for music, then everyone should continue to listen to them when they start spouting uninformed political garbage.

Bottom line: Shut your yappers and get back to your music. If it's any good, I'll buy your CD. But its not, so I wont. Now leave me alone, and get off my TV.

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2004-10-08 01:50am

The Vote For Change tour came through MD recently. All of the radio DJ's mocked it, while giving away tickets.

Glocksman · Post by **Glocksman** » 2004-10-08 02:41am

"I can't let this election take place without knowing I fought as hard as I could for a more compassionate leader," 51-year-old John Mellencamp said. "If playing my 1986 hit 'R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A.' at the Hancher Auditorium in Iowa City will dissuade people from voting for Bush, then I'm going to do it."

Heh.

I'd vote for Kerry if he'd guarantee that I'd never hear another John Mellencamp for the next 100 years.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-10-08 02:48am

Bugsby wrote:While this is technically true, it avoids the real issue here, which is that because of their (dubious) prowess in music, these minor celebs now feel that their political opinions are worth hearing,

Oh puh-lease. Everybody thinks his political opinion is worth hearing. If you had the public ear, are you telling me that you would not try to disseminate your political opinion? I'm tired of the way people rant and rave about the evils of celebrities using their ability to talk to the public.

If I could somehow get millions of people to listen to my views on deficit spending, health care, the war in Iraq, and separation of church and state, I'd goddamned well be using that ability, and I wouldn't apologize for it. Neither would you, so quit your whining.

There is no "issue" of ethics being violated when someone tries to promote his political viewpoint as the correct one: the entire FOXNews network is an exercise in such activity, for fuck's sake. At least celebrities are up-front about promoting an ideology when they do it. FOXNews is not.

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-10-08 10:30am

Good, they're all going to be in one place.

White Cat · Post by **White Cat** » 2004-10-13 06:25am

Darth Wong wrote:It's so easy to make fun of musicians and actors with political agendas.

It's fun, too.