Aw what tha hell! Time for a classic SpaceBattles Debate!

[SAMAS]

SAMAS vs. The Entire Board

better known as: A legion of Stormtroopers vs. Pokemon

Yes, I'm a glutton for punishment. Why do you ask?

[NecronLord]

I'm confused.

[Guest]

Hm... What is this about?

[phongn]

A pokemon? Come now, you must be more specific.

[Kuja]

Is there a point to this?

[SAMAS]

Just an old SpaceBattles Tradition:

A few years ago, somebody made a Pokemon-Bashing thread.

Unfortunately for them, I had recently joined, and introduced a good portion of the board to just how powerful Pokemon can be. It ended when the person who came up with the tread trying to decrease the Pokemon's numbers all the way down to only one of each of the first 150 Pokemon(even eliminated Mew). I still won using the Ghost Pokemon.

It still comes up once or twice a year, usually me arguing against half the board, and it usually continues until someone has to use a cop-out like Orbital Bombardment or the Culture.

[SAMAS]

A pokemon? Come now, you must be more specific.

I usually leave that up to the other side, but okey, take your pick:

#1: One of each of the present 251 Pokemon

#2: An equal number of Pokemon, with average rarities(i.e. only one Mew, MewTwo, or each of the Legendaries, few Dragonites/Tryanitars, etc...)

[Ghost Rider]

But given that they are more than 250 pokemeon(with the upcoming GBA...and probably with some hunting on Japanese sites) wouldn't that be unfair given the level of power MewTwo represents and he's no longer on top of the food chain?

[SAMAS]

Exactly.

[Hotfoot]

Just an old SpaceBattles Tradition:

And some traditions should just die.

[Stormbringer]

Just an old SpaceBattles Tradition:

And some traditions should just die.

Along with those that started them.

[SAMAS]

Don't look at me, I didn't start it!

[SirNitram]

Don't look at me, I didn't start it!

I see. However, I have a simple way of dealing with your Pokemon hordes.

Tolodine's Killing Wind

*steps out of the burning ashes of still-twitching poke-creatures.*

Now.. How shall I punish your for this atrocity? A few mileenia in Hades?

[Larz]

Pokemon.... ::shutters:: sorry, I don't watch stuff like that, it goes against my ethics and morals, sort of like Britany Spears music and such...

[Kuja]

You have ethics?

[Larz]

:: glares at IG-88E :: yes... but I make exceptions when dealing with certian people...

[Hotfoot]

Don't look at me, I didn't start it!

I see. However, I have a simple way of dealing with your Pokemon hordes.

Tolodine's Killing Wind

*steps out of the burning ashes of still-twitching poke-creatures.*

Now.. How shall I punish your for this atrocity? A few mileenia in Hades?

I suggest giving him to the Overlords of Delgon. Or perhaps we should force him to listen to Darkstar non-stop, then force him to watch every single episode of Voyager. Twice. Without letting him blink or sleep in the process.

[Batman]

[snip]I suggest giving him to the Overlords of Delgon. Or perhaps we should force him to listen to Darkstar non-stop, then force him to watch every single episode of Voyager. Twice. Without letting him blink or sleep in the process.

Won't work. Even if he makes it through DarkStar, unless alowed time to recover in between episodes, Voyager is going to kill him halfway through season one (at the latest).
And as we all know, Death isn't a punishment, it's a release.

I suggest we do the above, interspersed with enough recovery time to ensure survival of the subject, THEN force him to read the KJA novels, Crystal Star, AND GK's fanfic.

And then we dunk him in Bacta and start from scratch

[Hotfoot]

[snip]I suggest giving him to the Overlords of Delgon. Or perhaps we should force him to listen to Darkstar non-stop, then force him to watch every single episode of Voyager. Twice. Without letting him blink or sleep in the process.

Won't work. Even if he makes it through DarkStar, unless alowed time to recover in between episodes, Voyager is going to kill him halfway through season one (at the latest).
And as we all know, Death isn't a punishment, it's a release.

Ah, but you see, the whole time he shall be turned into a statue, like John Chrichton from Farscape. Fully able to see, hear, and experience, but unable to die, much less move, blink, avert his eyes, plug his ears, and so on.

Keeping him in such a state will allow for his mind to be broken several times. And, should the above not cause him to snap, we shall start the continual loop of Janeway/Jar-Jar Binks/Wesley Crusher/Jabba the Hutt/Rigel Porn.

I suggest we do the above, interspersed with enough recovery time to ensure survival of the subject, THEN force him to read the KJA novels, Crystal Star, AND GK's fanfic.

Those work too, but nowhere near the level of the above. Well, I've never read GK's fanfic, so that's a maybe.

And then we dunk him in Bacta and start from scratch

Bacta will heal his body, not his mind. Breaking him should prove simple enough, though. Show good things every so often, but just before the really good parts, you cut to hardcore Janeway on Jar-Jar porn.

[Batman]

About the body/mind issue-would bacta heal brain damage?
It cures about anything else physical...

Oh, and I believe showing Janeway hardcore is a hanging offense just
about everywhere no matter WHAT the provocation

[Hotfoot]

About the body/mind issue-would bacta heal brain damage?
It cures about anything else physical...

Brain damage, perhaps. Not entirely certain about that. However, being kept in the statue state would prevent physical brain damage, and just allow him to be driven insane.

Oh, and I believe showing Janeway hardcore is a hanging offense just
about everywhere no matter WHAT the provocation

Nah, not really. Well, a public showing, yes. Individual showings, however, are perfectly legal under the proper circumstances.

[Batman]

About the body/mind issue-would bacta heal brain damage?
It cures about anything else physical...

Brain damage, perhaps. Not entirely certain about that. However, being kept in the statue state would prevent physical brain damage, and just allow him to be driven insane.

Oh, conceded. I was just speculating...

Oh, and I believe showing Janeway hardcore is a hanging offense just
about everywhere no matter WHAT the provocation

Nah, not really. Well, a public showing, yes. Individual showings, however, are perfectly legal under the proper circumstances.

Well, one could argue about 'cruel and unusual punishment' there, but I'm firmly with Heinlein on this one

[Sea Skimmer]

Lock and load with backpack fed T-21's and Flechette launchers. Even normal handguns are a threat to smaller Pokomon. Course a Stormtrooper legion also has E-WEB's and AT-AT walker's among other things.

[Mr Bean]

Three MG42 Positions backed up by The Ghost Busters and a small kitten(To fight Mew-two) should ice this fight off pretty easy


Yep that sounds like a good balance of the poor and the redicious

[SAMAS]

Well, let's use a comparison I did in the last time it happened on SpacBattles:

Okay, let's start here.

Let's look at a somewhat normal-level Pokemon. #81/#82: Magnemite/Magneton.

For those who don't follow the game, a Magnemite is a metal ball about a foot in diameter and weighing 13 pounds, with an eye-sensor in the center, a pair of screws under the eye, and a pair of horseshoe magnets on the sides. A Magneton is what happens when three Magnemites join together(or in the anime version, when one Magnemite buds off two more). It's an Electric type, also gaining the Steel type in Gold/Silver/Crystal.

As you may have guessed, Electric means it has the ability to toss lightning bolts around. Steel Type means that it's resistant to most mundande forms of kinetic and energy transfer(In other words, just hitting/shooting it doesn't help much), and it can't be poisoned at all. However, it has a severe weakness to Earth, Fire, and Chi(Fighting) Elemental energy. Not much else will work.

It's natural attacks are:

Tackle -- As the name might suggest, it slams into you. As Magnemite is, in effect, a steel ball, you can imagine it's going to hurt.

Thundershock -- A basic eletrical attack. Naturally, it hits you with a basic-sized lightning bolt.

Supersonic -- The Pokemon emits an extremely high-pitched directional wave of sound. This messes with the target, leaving it extremely disoriented.

Sonic Boom -- A blast of sonic energy that hits like a fist. Naturally, not very effective at anything after low levels.

Thunder Wave -- An electrical attack that fries the target's nervous system, leaving it parilyzed.

Lock On -- Exactly what it sounds like. The next attack won't miss.

Swift -- A basic energy attack using star-shaped projectiles.
Tri Attack(Crystal) -- A more advanced multi-elemental energy attack that can leave the target frozen, parilyzed, or on fire.

Screech -- A lound, high-pitched burst of sound that leaves the target off-balance and more vulnerable to attack.

Zap Cannon -- A massive, focused blast of electrical energy that while powerful, is very hard to aim accurately. See above for a way to solve that.

So what does that leave us with? A metal ball that can toss around electric and sound attacks.


Okay, so that was one of the less cute ones. Let's up the Kawaiiness Factor a bit, and go for a low-level one, like Butterfree.

As the name suggests, Butterfree is a giant Butterfly.

So let's look at it's attacks:

If it was trained from a little(and that's streching it) Caterpie, to Metapod, and all the way to Butterfree, I will have learned:

Tackle -- See Magnemite

String Shot -- Spits out a spray of sticky silk, wrapping it's opponent, and slowing it down until it can untangle itself.

Harden -- Just what it sounds like. Secretes additional chitin to toughen it's exoskeleton.

Confusion -- A medium-level Psychic attack(Damn, already?). Can leave the opponent disorented.

Poison Powder -- Scales on it's wings are toxic to the opponent....

Stun Spore -- ...Some scale toxins instead interfere with the opponent's nervous system,...

Sleep Powder -- ...while others have a tranquilizing effect.

Supersonic -- See Magnemite/Magneton.

Whirlwind -- The Pokemon generates a gust of wind that picks up the opponent, carrying it off. In game terms, it can blow away a 1500-lb Snorlax.

Gust -- A powerful blast of wind, striking with hurricane force. Air Elemental attack.

Psybeam -- A Strong Psychic Attack. Can also confuse the opponent.

Safeguard -- A protective field that protects the Pokemon from many lasting forms of damage. In the anime(3rd Movie), it was actually used by a Butterfree as a forcefield to protect it from a Pokemon's attacks.

Not bad, huh? And that's one of the little guys. Most Pokemon get worse as they get bigger.