Worst Music Video of 2004

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2004-12-20 05:51am

I think it has become readily apparent to all but those lacking the most rudimentary taste that music nowadays pretty much sucks. There are a few half-decent bands, and a couple of catchy pop singles, but with the end of the euphoric Britpop period rock music has denegerated chiefly into boring, sad laments or trite, cheap, overproduced pop music which sounds like shit, or crap indie bands that only wish they were cool. And meanwhile, "hip-hop" music - rap, and that disgusting shambles they call R&B nowadays - continues to consume all that is good in the world.

So we can all agree that virtually every major song put out over the last few years is shit. So let's move on to a related topic: music videos.

Let's hear it folks; what music video has munched the hairest man-ass this year? What really makes you cringe? Note: If you nominate a rap video, you better have a really fucking good reason, because otherwise this would be too easy (we could simply nominate pretty much anything to ever play on BET, or, as I like to call it, the Racism is OK Channel).

My nomination:

Yellowcard - Only One
The song itself is an uninspired bit of wannabe pop love-song, with really nothing interesting about it. No cool riffs, no nifty licks, no electrifying solos or memorable lyrics. But the video itself bears absolutely no relation to the song. Yellowcard's lead singer and his girlfriend wander through a mist-filled alley which is filled by what is some sort of war protest. What the song has to do with a war protest is never fully explained, and then cut admist images of Yellowcard performing at a concert we have shots recreating famous scenes from historical protests, i.e. the daisies in the barrels of the guns.

It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever; it doesn't improve upon the song in anyway, and whatever emotional impact it would have had is robbed by the fact that, I repeat, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SONG. The video culminates with a recreation of the famous Tiannamen Square photo which shows a long man staring down a column of tanks.

Way to go, asshats. Cheapen one of the most powerful images in the history of photography...for...for...for what? Not even crass commercialization. No reason whatsoever. Idiots.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2004-12-20 05:58am

You actually sat through both a Yellowcard song and its accompanying video?

Your classic rock condescension is slipping, young one.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2004-12-20 06:13am

I know. I feel so dirty. My only consolation is that I made fun of it for the duration and then immediately listened to Robert Johnson.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-12-20 06:46am

i stopped watching MTV around 1998-9 for two reasons:

there are no more videos
the videos that do get shown either:
a- suck; or
b- have retarded teeney bopper girls cutting in squealing like assclowns talking about why they want to see the video that they are screaming through while masturbating to carson daly or some other dipshit with black painted nails.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-12-20 06:54am

Any 12-in-dozen "Urban" ( R&B, hip hop,...) song wins by default

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-12-20 09:20am

What was that one rap video? Where the rapper had this big party, and the whole video was a bunch of people dancing?

Bertie Wooster · Post by **Bertie Wooster** » 2004-12-20 09:27am

Durandal wrote:What was that one rap video? Where the rapper had this big party, and the whole video was a bunch of people dancing?

Oh yeah, I saw that one!!! And all the guys were grimacing and looking real serious while at the same time waving their hands up and down real fast, right?. Damn, I forgot the name of it...

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-12-20 09:30am

Personally I think all music videos were made by ass clowns by default, and they all suck hairy donkey balls. Can you imagine these fucking people describing what they want their music video to be? "And then we have 1200 clones of the singer prancing naked through green jelley, interspersed with footage from the Discovery Channel ..."

God, at least if you've sunk as low as directing porno, your shit at least makes sense.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2004-12-20 09:56am

And people wonder why I got Nitram hooked on Country Music.....

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2004-12-20 09:56am

For me, the pinnacle of music videos will always be Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-12-20 09:59am

I find this one quite original

http://www.a-s.be/promo/BITCH/

and this one is DAMN sexy

:

http://www.gutrecords.com/outoftouch/

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2004-12-20 09:59am

HemlockGrey wrote:For me, the pinnacle of music videos will always be Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"

Which version. Because if you say Wayne'sWorld I will have to injure you severely.

*sigh* I remmber the 80's, when they actually tried to make videos with a story to them.....

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-12-20 10:02am

LadyTevar wrote:
*sigh* I remmber the 80's, when they actually tried to make videos with a story to them.....

Ah, the good ol days of videos. When they fucking made sense and were not thing you wondered if the director wanted to be Calvin Kline's newest spokemen for Desire.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-12-20 10:10am

Durandal wrote:What was that one rap video? Where the rapper had this big party, and the whole video was a bunch of people dancing?

was that the one where they sang about Rolexes, Bentleys and Crystal?

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2004-12-20 10:42am

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Durandal wrote:What was that one rap video? Where the rapper had this big party, and the whole video was a bunch of people dancing?
was that the one where they sang about Rolexes, Bentleys and Crystal?

That's like every rap video, dude.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-12-20 10:44am

Aya wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote:
Durandal wrote:What was that one rap video? Where the rapper had this big party, and the whole video was a bunch of people dancing?
was that the one where they sang about Rolexes, Bentleys and Crystal?
That's like every rap video, dude.

uh... no shit.

*watches half the thread fly over Aya's head.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-12-20 11:01am

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Durandal wrote:What was that one rap video? Where the rapper had this big party, and the whole video was a bunch of people dancing?
was that the one where they sang about Rolexes, Bentleys and Crystal?

Bling-Bling and fo shizzle my homey.

You iz down with the brothas and the honeys!

Gah...someone please put an icepick through my throat.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2004-12-20 11:19am

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Aya wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote: was that the one where they sang about Rolexes, Bentleys and Crystal?
That's like every rap video, dude.
uh... no shit.

*watches half the thread fly over Aya's head.

*Waves it goodbye*

I figured you were being sarcastic.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2004-12-20 12:05pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Durandal wrote:What was that one rap video? Where the rapper had this big party, and the whole video was a bunch of people dancing?
was that the one where they sang about Rolexes, Bentleys and Crystal?

No fool! It was bitches, hoes and nigga plight!

In all seriousness though, the garbage playing on MTV nowadays isn't exemplary of music videos. Some bands actually give a shit about their videos, but they're mostly hard rock and metal, like Metallica and Aerosmith. And to be fair, the rappers aren't the only people who have shitty, dime-a-dozen music videos. Alternative bands will always make videos of themselves playing at a concert ... and that's it. There are some fun camera angles of the band playing a concert or some party thing ... and that's it.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2004-12-20 12:14pm

ANyone remember when a music channel did just that - played videos 24 hours a day 7 days a week? I was there when Mtv First launched and saw the video for Video killed the Radio star. I remember watching Mtv almost exclusively even though in the begining they only had a couple of dozen videos in their playlist so you would see the same video several times in a few hours.

Now its just a useless channle that when it does play videos is hip hop bullshit that has no soul and objectifies women, glorifies the 'gangsta' and throws around terms like Crsytal and Benz as if that will give them some sort of credit. The VAST majority of their listeners will never drink Crsytal or drive a Benz. But it sure will put a hunger in them to steal in order to do so. What a horrid fucking musical trend. I remember back in the day when Rap stood for something - when rap was actually FUN.

Executor32 · Post by **Executor32** » 2004-12-20 12:40pm

Yeah, like Curtis Blow, dammit!

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2004-12-20 12:56pm

Stravo wrote:ANyone remember when a music channel did just that - played videos 24 hours a day 7 days a week? I was there when Mtv First launched and saw the video for Video killed the Radio star. I remember watching Mtv almost exclusively even though in the begining they only had a couple of dozen videos in their playlist so you would see the same video several times in a few hours.

And you had to walk fifteen miles in the snow, uphill both ways, while fighting dinosaurs...

Bertie Wooster · Post by **Bertie Wooster** » 2004-12-20 01:06pm

Aya wrote:
Stravo wrote:ANyone remember when a music channel did just that - played videos 24 hours a day 7 days a week? I was there when Mtv First launched and saw the video for Video killed the Radio star. I remember watching Mtv almost exclusively even though in the begining they only had a couple of dozen videos in their playlist so you would see the same video several times in a few hours.
And you had to walk fifteen miles in the snow, uphill both ways, while fighting dinosaurs...

It wasn't that long ago that MTV used to play music videos exclusively. It may have been as recent as 1990 or 1991. By 1994, me and my fellow freshmen in High School were already reminiscing about the MTV that we had loved when we were growing up.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2004-12-20 02:00pm

This is why you watch VH1. They actually show more videos than MTV. That, and both channels actually have spinoff channels that play videos 24/7. Only problem is, most of the videos are still crap.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-12-20 03:05pm

Durandal wrote:What was that one rap video? Where the rapper had this big party, and the whole video was a bunch of people dancing?

Hmm, is that the one where the rapper is wearing a bunch of gaudy jewelry? Because I think I've seen it.