Five minutes of your life left and...

Pavel · Post by **Pavel** » 2002-11-10 03:56am

I had this thought the other day that goes like, what we do if we were enjoying the middle process of taking a long crap in the toilet and sundenly the TV announces a breaking news that sez: we've just confimed ladies & gentlemen that more than 30 long range nuclear ballistic missiles with multiple reentry war heads are on their way to hit us in less than five minutes, sorry folks but we are cuting transmition in 3 seconds
.... and 3, 2, 1, fishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Will you continue relaxing & taking your last crap?
Will you cut the process and leave the house?
Or other? please explain

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-10 03:58am

Fuck it, I'd get the fuck out of the house and screw the hottest guy I could find!

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-11-10 04:00am

Topic fixed and I'll laugh as I'm no where near any military Targets(Unless you count the local Recruting Station)

Hell I'm so far out they don't even FARM here

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-11-10 04:03am

Mr Bean wrote:Topic fixed and I'll laugh as I'm no where near any military Targets(Unless you count the local Recruting Station)

Hell I'm so far out they don't even FARM here

Where are you?

Besides, I don't think the point was for your area to be a target.....besides, nulear warheads have a high range as far as explosion...So, then, what would you do?

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-11-10 04:05am

Not much of an attack. Life won't continue as we know it, but chance are I'll still have power and water. My apartment building just barely would have LOS to Philadelphia, however my orientation puts about six feet of steel and concrete between me and the blast with lots of solid walls. The range, variances in the terrain and the very heavy tree cover will result in minimal damage to my town, some blindness at worse for a small minority of the population.

However I have a parent in Philadelphia. I'm going to call them to say goodbye before telling them to get into their buildings basement at once. Depending on the size of the blast they may very well survive. It's heavily built and the basement has no windows. However they may very well die if its a multi megaton city buster aimed at the city center. A more likely high kiloton weapon going for the oil refinerys will not kill them, though I'd still call, tell them to take cover and then suggest a way to get home.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2002-11-10 04:48am

I`d continue my poop, fallout's gonna get me anyhoo

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-11-10 04:57am

I'd just go to the nearest bunker, which is about 3 mins from my house if you run. I'll have to remember to take some tools with me since the Door is always locked.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-11-10 08:10am

I'd go up on the roof and throw rocks at them.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-11-10 08:55am

*Edit Pavel there is no HTML OR UBB code allow in thread topic posts thats why it did not work before and when you re-edited it, why its STILL did not work

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2002-11-10 09:03am

I'd go up on the roof and shoot down the nukes.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-11-10 10:17am

Disbelieve and then smack the DM...

Seriously, I would stay where I was and finish. Might as well enjoy that last loaf pinch...

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2002-11-10 10:41am

Finish it.

Within 30 miles of my house or so: international airport, seaport (they make the largest non-metal-hulled ships in the US), MacDill AFB (which has SOCOM and CENTCOM), a former DoE plant that made nuke triggers...

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2002-11-10 10:52am

phongn wrote:Finish it.

Within 30 miles of my house or so: international airport, seaport (they make the largest non-metal-hulled ships in the US), MacDill AFB (which has SOCOM and CENTCOM), a former DoE plant that made nuke triggers...

Bah, I live 30 miles from the Pentagon and Washington DC......

I'm dead no matter what, but I'll go downstairs and pinch it off in the
downstairs bathroom..

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2002-11-10 11:07am

Disbelieve and then smack the DM...

I will smite you for that...

I would go outside and watch the nukes hit. I have always said that if I had the choice of a way to die, it would either be in my sleep, or watching the most beutiful thing possible (nuclear explosion)

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-10 11:52am

Or other? please explain

Get into my basement and hope to god some hot chick survive. Any nuke that's going to hit, is going to be at a range where it isn't likely to kill me.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2002-11-10 11:57am

Considerin I live a 100 or so miles from New Orleans, the only logical target, I'd probably finish taking the shit, put on some sun glasses and watch a poof from New Orleans. The nearest bunker is 10 minutes awayif I go, very fast.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2002-11-10 01:25pm

I've got some last words to say to some people. More important than taking a crap.

CmdrWilkens · Post by **CmdrWilkens** » 2002-11-10 01:34pm

I'm just gonna enjoy it, I'm about 30-40 mi north of DC and about 5 mi east of NSA and Fort Meade so I'm pretty much dead so I might as well enjoy it since it'll be my last.

Admiral Drason · Post by **Admiral Drason** » 2002-11-10 01:39pm

I live in minnesota hahahahah. no one would wast a nuke on this state hahahahhaha.

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2002-11-10 01:55pm

Well, I have a storm shelter in my back yard but that wouldn't save my ass from a nuke. Especially since I am about two miles down the road from the Redstone Arsenal. Not to mention Marshall Space Flight Center. Considering I'd either be reading the new Star Wars book or a new Magazine, I'd prolly just finish shitting. I mean come on. I ain't the only one who can relax while taking a fucking shit. The only thing that would get me off the john would be if there was a hot ass chick just seconds away from me. That's highly unlikely to be the case. So, here's one for the road.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2002-11-10 02:00pm

Let's see..

I am in a prime location for nuking(Charleston WV), and even a conventional bomb in the right place will release so much in the way of lethal chemicals, everything downwind of this place will be stripped bare of all life.

I think I'm staying on the can. Better to have the satisfaction of finishing, then to run down the street and then get vaporized.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-11-10 02:24pm

Who really want to die on the can? I mean that's one of the lamest death ever.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-11-10 02:36pm

CmdrWilkens wrote:I'm just gonna enjoy it, I'm about 30-40 mi north of DC and about 5 mi east of NSA and Fort Meade so I'm pretty much dead so I might as well enjoy it since it'll be my last.

Your pretty much totally safe from a DC blast and with so few inbounds the NSA will be a low priority target. It likely wont be hit.

Hotfoot · Post by **Hotfoot** » 2002-11-10 03:03pm

I'd mutter, wonder who the hell left a movie in the VCR, and go turn off the TV once I'm done, then resume my everyday activities. If there are nukes heading towards us, I'll be flash-fried a few microseconds after the detonation anyway, so it hardly matters. It's a choice between a quick death and a slow, painful one.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-11-10 06:23pm

If it's certain I'll die, sex definitely sex.

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Five minutes of your life left and...

What will you do in case a nuclear attack is coming down on you and you're taking a crap?

Five minutes of your life left and...